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Dating as a transgender women


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Hi everyone just a question about dating while transitioning or transistioned. I found heeps of social media posts and videos saying how hard it is to find a man or a woman to accept them. Then I see posts about how men love them too.


I am confused, what is it really like for an M to F transgender woman to find partners? Are cis-lesbians ok with transgender women? what are your experiences? 

Also, if interested in men, what kind of experiences have you had with dating men? 


I know an ex-gf who was a transgender woman who got a bf almost straight away after me. Do you think she was just lucky? she was attractive. So I assumed it was not all that hard, but then I see posts on social media saying how hard it is and they all run away. 


What are some experiences you've had in real life as a transgender woman? with a man or a woman partner/dating

Thank you

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Hello, @LifeExpPerson.  Welcome!


I don't have experience in dating as a trans person, so I am probably not going to be much help.  I did want to welcome you to TransPulse.


The lesbians I know are fine with trans people, but whether they would want to date one, I don't know.  I do know that there are some lesbians who are not fine with trans people.


As for men, well I don't swing that way.  But I think it would be wise to approach them with extreme caution.  There are many men who see trans woman as a kinky fetish rather than as real human beings.  And a few see us as disposable kinky fetishes.  Be careful!




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I am finding femme t4t is more common than I realized, probably just because of the common ground. It really depends on if you are looking for a hookup, something LTR or just as friends. 


Dating is really a case by case basis for me. I don't paint people a certain way or other unless they give me reason to. Dating women feels more open-ended than I feel dating men, who I feel more often than not it's just for a one-time hookup. I am not sexually attracted to men, but I have a couple male friends I trust.

The best bet is to join an organization or club and network and meet others on a very casual basis where there is no pressure and you can see people unscripted. 




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  • 2 weeks later...

I live in a small town. While im bi sexual. Its been super hard finding any one. Male or female. The men only want me because I'm a fetish to them, and what bi females I have found. They are either married, or want my for a fetish. 


I tired online dating, but that was full of scammers, and time wasters. My friends did say to keep a door open though. Just as I was about to close that door. I got a message from a woman a few hours away. I looked at her pictures, and she seemed normal looking. When compared to the scammers. Like every thing was covered, and she wasn't wearing make-up. 


Any way I took a chance with her. Not even knowing she was real or not. I saw she was a lesbian, and after a few days of talking. I told her I was trans. Which shocked the hell out of her. We started off super slow. Probably because I was super hard on her to Prove who she was. We eventually video chatted around a month ago. Her and my relationship changed 100% that day. We both became more open. I'll admit I was holding back. Till I knew she was real, and I think she was to. Even though she still won't admit it.


We have been talking for almost two months now. We have talked a lot about how she feels about what I have, and we're both know there is a hard limit on that. I'm totally fine with it. We're both grown adults. We know there is more to sex then just normal sex. 


While we haven't met yet. Because of things out of our control. Whats in my pants dosn't come up any more. I would say at this point. We know eachother pretty well. Maybe not perfect, but I would say we know eachother better. Then I knew my ex in the same time, and we were seeing eachother every weekend..

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  • 2 weeks later...

Note: I'm a straight transgender woman, looking for a boyfriend and future husband!


I live overseas and am older, so it's probably more difficult for me, but I mostly feel lost at sea. I've had a few first dates but not any second dates. That will be a nice achievement (?!) for me. I mostly have been using the dating apps, Tinder and My Pairs (a Japanese app), so maybe that's the problem. I've met a few guys I like at a snack bar I go to, but no one has asked me out. To summarize, I guess I'm just starting off on my dating adventures. I'll follow here for more advice. I'm thinking I might try joining some Meetups. Maybe that will help. Good luck to all of you in your dating adventures!

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