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Do you have no doubts you will reach your transition goals?


Heather Shay

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Do you have no doubts you will reach your transition goals?

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Pretty sure that I AM transition goals.

 

Hugs!

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Not sure. Yet. Guess that's why they call it a transition.

I am finding my confusion more fun than ever—is that a thing?

— Davie 💔 

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As I see it right now, I have actually surpassed what I expected to be able to accomplish since I started.  am on E, it's working its magic slowly but surely, I am out, seen, and known - by by new legal name.  For all intents and purposes, goal met. Anything else I may be able to accomplish is just icing on the cake. GCS would be nice, new boobs if the E doesn't go far enough (for my tastes, which evolve constantly), love life like @Elizabeth Star has, hardly likely at my age. Bottom line, if nothing elsec, Im pretty good who and where I am. OK, a lottery win would be nice, too.

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Initially, I had doubts about social acceptance.  I had no doubts that I would achieve the medical transition I desired.  Social acceptance depended on how well those medical interventions (HRT and GCS) worked, and on how toxic the local community was, and I initially had doubts about them.

 

But it went well, and I have achieved my goals.  I am accepted as a woman wherever I go.  Sometimes as an assumed cis woman and sometimes as a noticed trans woman, but invariably as a woman.  Except on the phone.  Still working on that.

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I'm just a work in progress, thinking that's why it's called transition. I'll really begin pushing the envelope in 2023, once I'm fully retired. 

 

A girl can dream,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

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Quote

 

To be honest I'm not sure what my end goals are yet.  But I have come a long way since I started this journey two years ago.  I'm pretty much out publicly.  I work and live as Diana.  I'm going to talk to my doctor in October about starting HRT.  I'm starting to think about changing my name legally.  This year could have a pretty big finish for me!  I have no plans for any surgeries.  

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Forgive me I have surgery in the morning and get a mind to wordy at these times….

 

If my goal is to pass intimately as a woman, from any angle, while naked, then other goals like public acceptance/gendering become less difficult by comparison.

 

Voice is not easy for many of us.   It won’t just passively happen overnight 


All my life I wanted people to see the real me.  I didn’t want to just dress up by myself,in shame, hidden indoors


This is what’s important to do many of us here!  Having our world see us true

 

the more we integrate ourselves, we break through more and more awkward layers of presentation.  
 

I struggle with self acceptance so this is on my road
 

we are good examples, bad examples, and often both

 

let’s each of us find the right way


wish me luck

🌈🌈

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16 months on HRT and electrolysis, and I haven't overtly tried to "present" or dress as female except for the longer hair- I just am, and I express my feelings as they come to me naturally. I've put on a couple of inches topside and if I hug someone, it's noticeable, so I'm careful about that! I'm scheduling a visit in September with someone to get a letter to approve bottom surgery, which is probably a couple of years out. My self talk is female, although I still give people my old name when I meet them.  I have a strong distaste for my current plumbing. I spent 65 years covering it up,, growing a beard, trying to deny it, and feeling embarrassed about my feelings, only allowing it to surface when I was alone. I've always imagined that if I was on a deserted island and two trunks of clothes washed up, one with male and one female, I'd wear the female ones and live as a female.

Nowadays I'm not trying to explain myself or justify myself, I just am. A small number of people know for sure what my intentions are. Immediate family call me by my new name. I continue to engage in the same activities and hang out with the same people I have for several years. I wear a track suit wherever I go, androgynous I suppose. I am section hiking the Pacific Crest Trail on the weekends and in the solitude of the mountains, surrounded by fields of wildflowers, babbling brooks, whispering pines, and looming mountains, unseen by human eyes, I am that Agnes, that female identity I have always imagined in my mind's eye, living on a deserted island. When I get back to civilization I have to deal with the reality that people still mistake me for a male. However, the Trail allows me the freedom to be myself. I dream of walking from Mexico to Canada as fully female one day! I'm astonished at the number of female through hikers I run into. About equal numbers of men and women. I'm inspired!

Every other week I take voice lessons. At first I was so disgusted with my feeble attempts that I deleted the recordings. However, I've been working at it now for 10 months and the head resonance is becoming more natural. I still have a male sounding voice, but it's in a much brighter resonance and reflects my inner feelings. I've recorded myself reading a passage while concentrating on keeping the sounds above the jawline and I think it might cause someone to look for secondary characteristics to confirm or deny their theories about my gender. I'm hopeful for continued progress on that front.

On a positive note, I am slowly transitioning, and enjoying the process, even though it feels so slow at times! Especially the electrolysis! I look forward to the day when I cross that threshold, where the facial hair is gone, the contours are recognizable from a distance, the voice is naturally sweet, and everybody knows my name, my new name!

Both attached pictures were taken while I was out on a hike, one in 2020 and the other a couple of months ago. Do I have doubts? I don't think so. If I were to insist on being called Agnes by everyone today, I know I would raise eyebrows, ruffle feathers, and generate friction that would negatively impact my state of mind. I have to be content with who I am, and who I am becoming, at the current moment. It's called a transition for a reason. It would be really cool to flip a switch, but the state of the art in medicine isn't quite there yet! However, looking at the pictures, I can imagine the progression 2, 4, and 6 years from now. I'm looking forward to posting a third picture in 2024!

2020-2022.png

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3 hours ago, stveee said:

Well the usual goal in transition is not to be transitioning anymore, right? 

 

 

It’s a matter of degree and time isn’t it? I could stop the physical process today I suppose. But my brain is wired to continue the internal transition. The exterior needs to keep up with the interior so the two are somewhat if imperfectly aligned. I think angst with this internal/external imbalance is what drives me crazy! 

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Given that my original goal when I came to this site was simply to know who I was, I am getting closer and closer to that. I now know more about what makes me, me, than many other people I know because I've had to ask myself questions other people choose to ignore, or simply never ask themselves. For me those magic moments when I have been in women only spaces and have not just been accepted, but fully integrated have shown me that transitioning is 100% the right path for me. In those moments I don't feel like a cuckoo or an imposter. What I'm doing now is more like filling in the details, electrolysis, hrt and surgery are more about making me less self conscious and more confident that I can be myself. My goal is to be the best me that I can be. 😃

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Perhaps contentment is the best goal for me.  I will never experience total transition to being a cis gender contented woman.  Oddly many natal women are discontent with their body or looks.  Acceptance of who i am, and enjoying this moment are the goals i work towards these years following the legal, medical and social steps i could take.  The road to acceptance of life as it comes is ongoing.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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5 hours ago, Charlize said:

Oddly many natal women are discontent with their body or looks.  

My wife is joining me for electrolysis these days because she has a few whiskers popping up that drive her nuts. She has no idea!! LOL! On the bright side it’s great to share this experience with her and see her beginning to bond with a new culture and a new way of life.

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On 8/24/2022 at 2:50 PM, Hannah Renee said:

As I see it right now, I have actually surpassed what I expected to be able to accomplish since I started.  am on E, it's working its magic slowly but surely, I am out, seen, and known - by by new legal name.  For all intents and purposes, goal met. Anything else I may be able to accomplish is just icing on the cake. GCS would be nice, new boobs if the E doesn't go far enough (for my tastes, which evolve constantly), love life like @Elizabeth Star has, hardly likely at my age. Bottom line, if nothing elsec, Im pretty good who and where I am. OK, a lottery win would be nice, too.

Thank you Hannah. Sometimes it's not easy to love life to the fullest but It's the only one I have.

 

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I have Doubts about what my actual Goals are - Hah!  But, much like @Mmindy - I'm also a work in progress -


And also like @Charlize - Contentment - is my ultimate Goal.  Regardless what form that takes. 

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Some eon I will reach my goal. right now it is s l o wwwww going. While I haven't gotten that melt ice body I dream about. I am alright with it. My goal is lofty but a girl has to have something to reach for.

 

If only in my dreams.

 

Kymmie

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I'm not sure exactly what my goals are.  I just kind of take a day at a time, one step at a time.

 

Getting on HRT was one step.  Not being afraid to come out in public was another.  These days I just go through life as I am.  

 

Now I'm taking the step of getting that legal name change.  I'm hoping it will help me deal with some baggage from the past.  I suppose after that would come changing my gender marker. (if it's still possible by then)

 

After that, I'm not sure.  I'm not all that young.  I can't see surgery as an option at this point.

 

I guess I'll think of the next step when it's time for it.

 

I would like to be in some sort of relationship, but that's not entirely in my hands.

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I haven't started any HRT as at my age I guess I can't see it changing me (79) but I have been living most of the last 3 years as a woman. I walk, shop and go out as a woman but I still cant seem to get the courage to announce myself to my adult daughter and son. I get the courage to do so then the moment doesn't seem right but hopefully I will come out soon.

Covid stopped me from my first surgery (breast implants and FFS) which I had booked for in Thialand 3 years ago and now with the price of flights I have put it off for now. 

So I have not achieved my goals at this stage but they can wait. 

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I want to pass and find a husband I can spend the rest of my life with, not necessarily in that order. Good look to everyone!

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  • 2 weeks later...

I feel I have already reach all my goals that I had for my transition. The main one is living a as a woman. That's what I am and that's what I do. If there is that occasionally misgendering it is not my fault. It it there's. Sometimes I will correct them, but that is becoming less and less. If you would have told me I had reach my goals in a little under 3 years I would have doubted it. All the work all the papers all those ventures outside. They seem so natural now. It's hard to believed I doubted myself. Well maybe a little. Once I declared to myself that I was Stephie, I have been Stephie ever since, and see ain't going back.

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