Opiate withdrawal

[StephieGurl]

Hi everybody, wishing everyone success.

 

So I'm on day 8 of opiate withdrawal. I wish I could say it is getting much better, but I can now eat a little bit at time and queasiness is less, but my body still feels like crap even with a clonidine patch. And started a week of Xanax yesterday, which is fine but it doesn't last long enough (I'm on two a day). The most helpful drug for me is gabapentin. 

 

So how did I get here. I have been on opiates a month prior to neck surgery. But, I develop post laminectomy syndrome, which require further usage. Of course this led to dependency. And my pain management doctor start to get me off of the stuff, down one dose a month from 3 morphine 15mg ER and 4 hydromorphone for break through, which was a constant problem. I felt this was way to slow. But, that was their protocol and I was comfortable after each reduction. So, I am down to 2 a day with both drugs and I start experiencing pain. I am already in physical therapy, which had been helping too. At first I really need more than prescribed, and took them. But this brought on that euphoric feeling and I plow through a months prescription in 12 days, but had no more with no possibility of getting more. So my withdrawal begin at day 3 it was getting rough and I remembered I had a few codeine tabs and took one. It help some, like back to day 1. Each day for three days I did. This probably interrupted the withdrawal but since it was such a little amount compared to what I was on. But day 8 is longer than most estimates, but I was taking an ER formulated drug plus the codeine use could be causal. Granted it just be my own timeline since everyone is different. I would say I was abusing opiates but that last 12 days does add up to addiction because while my body might still have craving I didn't have any psychological. Agree it was boneheaded to do what I did. But, I am through with them and hope I do not need any other long term usage (why I am no longer sinking vaginoplasty). So my mind is kind of mixed up. I am relieved that I will be done with the stuff, but the physical part is still hard to deal with.

[Vidanjali]

@StephieGurl keep up the good work. Opioid withdrawal is nasty. It hurts and it can affect your mood. Keep telling yourself it'll pass because IT WILL. I promise. As you're able, try to get some light exercise like taking a walk and enjoying the sunshine and some pleasant scenery. This will uplift your mood, and the exercise will produce endorphins which will help the pain. Keep going and don't look back. You're nearly out of the tunnel and into the light. 

[StephieGurl]

Thanks Vidanjali, yeah I am familiar with all the tricks of the trade. I have been through this before but a lot slower and it wasn't my fault. It was time to come of the stuff as my pain was going away as my hematoma on my stomach wall shrink I was on even more dope 60mg ms-contin a day, and 15 morphine break through. It was easier because the pain doc I went step me down Fentanyl patches over 6 weeks, going down every other week. It was slightly uncomfortable each step down and the first few days of the first patch. When I stop I had one bad day, mainly a lot of anxiety. 

 

I forgot to mention in my post that the worst maybe the crying. If my partner (cisfemale) was not with me I would probably flood the apartment (lol). I find humor offers some temporary relief. I surprise I have a sense of humor to tell the truth.

 

Thanks again, Stephie

 

 

 

 

[awkward-yet-sweet]

You're nearing the end of the hard part, or so I understand.  Just keep it up and you'll pull through OK.  Be prepared for a few cravings long-term, though.  My GF is a recovered addict (opiates among the things she was on) and she still deals with cravings and an instinct to use even though she hasn't touched the stuff in a decade or more. 

 

Don't be afraid to let others know what you need.  I'm dealing with some pain and medical issues right now, but I'm not taking any painkillers.  I don't want to bring that around my GF.  Letting your partner(s) know your needs helps them help you. 

[StephieGurl]

Thanks. Surprisingly I have very few cravings and after it's over practically none at all. Normally I value a clear mind. That is one thing that is already returning as I writing again. I've gone through this 2 time before, but then it was completely part of the treatment plan. This time I admit to abusing. When you go back to my younger days I abuse one thing or another everyday, but only got physically addict to alcohol.

 

My gf/partner has been by my side for over 30 years. I can be very grateful for that. She did take sometime getting used to the idea that I was a woman though, but that's the way she sees it now. I cry a lot for different reasons and she is there to provide comfort. All the crying is probably cause by both hrt and withdrawal.

[StephieGurl]

Well here I sit at 10 to 3 in the morning and can't get back to sleep. Not sure how I feel, but it is the beginning of day 9, and I can sense it's not over. Body feels whacked, but no queasiness so far, and I feel neither hot and only a bit of a chill. I think I will that this time and work on my introduction.

[StephieGurl]

Finally morning. I did fall back to sleep. So day 9 begins in earnest. I took some gabapentin and that help fall back to sleep and remove some discomfort.

 

Question, has anyone gone through opiate withdrawal without diarrhea? I'm queasy and felt like throwing up, but didn't. Could they be passing me up.

[Charlize]

Keep up your effort and congratulations on 9 days.  I found that each day was another step away from the overwhelming need that once haunted me.  

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[StephieGurl]

Thanks Charlize

[StephieGurl]

4 hours ago, StephieGurl said:

Thanks Charlize

Don't be deceived hell does have an exit 

[StephieGurl]

Took some xanax about 10:30 am EST and my body feels calmer. I still have this icky feeling that is hard to describe.

[StephieGurl]

On 9/10/2022 at 3:39 PM, Vidanjali said:

@StephieGurl keep up the good work. Opioid withdrawal is nasty. It hurts and it can affect your mood. Keep telling yourself it'll pass because IT WILL. I promise. As you're able, try to get some light exercise like taking a walk and enjoying the sunshine and some pleasant scenery. This will uplift your mood, and the exercise will produce endorphins which will help the pain. Keep going and don't look back. You're nearly out of the tunnel and into the light. 

Hey Vidanjali, I did take a 15 minute in the late afternoon. I enjoyed it. Even had a short chat with someone walking their bulldog (I love them), so it was quite nice, My pacer app said I walk .7 miles.

[Vidanjali]

6 hours ago, StephieGurl said:

Hey Vidanjali, I did take a 15 minute in the late afternoon. I enjoyed it. Even had a short chat with someone walking their bulldog (I love them), so it was quite nice, My pacer app said I walk .7 miles.

 

 I wonderful, dear. Even better that you practiced friendliness and got some puppy love. I'm sure that lifted your spirits, and it goes a long way to getting you over this hump. Persist!

[StephieGurl]

Up at 1 am with a tummy ache. Tired but can't get back to sleep. Sipping on some ginger ale. So begins day 10. It seems like 8, 9, and 10 seem the same like carbon copies. I guess I will take a couple of gabapentins and try to get back to sleep, which I did until 5 and then 7:30. Now I am up drinking ice coffee still not feeling great--thinks seem to stand still. I am hopefully get to have tele-visit with my psych nurse today, but my normal day is Thursday, but this in the needs to be seen as soon as possible. Maybe she can add something to the mix. Regardless it will be good to talk it out with her.

 

Last night I call the local crisis line and they were next to useless and the guy misgendered me twice and actually hung up on me. I'm calling this morning to speak to a supervisor about this person's behavior toward me. Okay maybe there wasn't anything the crisis center could do at 8 pm on a Sunday night, but to receive that kind of behavior is inexcusable.

 

Thanks once again Vidanjali. It like a nice hug.. I hope to take another walk, but the rain might interfere although I have walked with an umbrella before when I first started walking after getting type 2 diabetes (lol)

[StephieGurl]

Hello day 11. I'm must be making progress because I woke up at 4 instead 1:30 am. Tum tum still hurting. I took a gabapentin so I should be able to get another couple of hours sleep.

 

My nurse practitioner double my xanax dose which I start today*.*mg just was helping enough. Got a weeks supply. That should be enough to see me through the rest of this withdrawal or at least to a point that I don't need it anymore. No more substances that clouds my mind. I have a lot that I want write about and it can be difficult to do with CNSs in your system, especially when writing philosophy. 

Edited September 13, 2022 by MaryEllen
Dosage removed per rule 13

[StephieGurl]

Day 11 seems to be mixed. I was let's just say. Can't tell whether it was psychological or physical or both. I continue to take the gabapentin, and even though it helps some with some of the withdrawal symptoms, I will be taking after it's all over because the increase I got has really help my neck pain. It is not a narcotic but you do have to taper off if you stop taking it. I stop taking for a few weeks, just to prevent that happening. Feel a little anxiety for a day or two, but that isn't anything I can't handle.

 

Well enough about drugs, I had cramps this afternoon, but normal stool. I a still surprised I didn't have any diarrhea. I made dinner - hot dogs again. Tomorrow I am going to attempt a ham steak. I put like two table spoons in the pan and then caramelize each side. Then I put two tablespoons of brown sugar mixing it well with fat. Then if I want I take the steak out of the pan and caramelize some veggies. I have some mushrooms, sweet colored peppers and onions I could put in. Well that's the plan.

 

I took a 20 minute walk this afternoon amounting to 0.75 miles

 

I'm just going to try and relax th.is evening and go to bed. I want to see if I can make to 6 am. It was 4 last night.

 

[Mmindy]

Keep post your progress on all subjects. 
 

Stay positive, motivated, and safe, 

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy

[StephieGurl]

Thanks Mindy, it seems I have found a supportive friend her. Tomorrow will begin day 12. I am feeling like it will be better than today, which was all that bad, but still not feeling 100%.

[Charlize]

100% takes time.  I was so pleased when i actually had solid stools.  I put that rather personal information on a gratitude list for my sponsor.  He laughed in sympathy.

My body and mind took time to heal from the abuse alcohol put it through.  Congratulations on 11 days.  

I hope this is finding you on #12.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[StephieGurl]

Day 12. Up at 1:30 again. A step back. Took gabapentin hoping to fall back asleep. Almost 2 hours later and still up. Well, at least, except for being tired a feel a better than  yesterday, except yesterday I was still awake. Well, I'm going to stay up and write listening to a Prince concert with Sheila E as drummer. Hoping to post my bio today.

 

Meant to send out earlier.

 

Charlize I can't for the life of me figure out why I haven't deal with diarrhea. I have had tummy aches occasionally. One reason is I am now on gabapentin for my neck pain (it's working for now although my back is giving me fits. I start PT back up next Friday) and it has constipating side effects. Not as bad as the opiates, which oddly I still went almost every day. Thanks for your concern, it means a lot. Do you go to the substance abuse group on Monday's. I plan on attending. Although I am not a fan of 12 steps. I used to know them well and go to AA meetings, and when things got rough I would binge go to detox and go back to AA. After my 3rd relapse I did not go back, and I haven't drank for almost 40 years. In those years I had to deal with bipolar depression. With treatment I manage to keep my head above water most of the time. I have had 4 suicide attempts (overdose on meds). The second time it was tricyclic anti-depressants which are deadly. Gf/partner call 911 in time, but I was in an induced coma and on a respirator for 2 weeks. Once they brought me out. I was still in intense care for 3 weeks and one week of step down.

 

But in 2014 I beat back the depression and anxiety and start to live a mentally well life, and found out I was Stephie.

 

Thanks once again Charlize 

[StephieGurl]

Day 13 finds me sleeping the latest yet 5:00 pm. I'm groggy and the tum tum still a bit sore. I decide to wait as long as I can to take xanax. I had to take an extra dose and chamomile tea. I was in such a terrible shape. Thing after thing just seem to go wrong after a lovely ham with red onions, bell peppers, and white button mushrooms. Oh yes, I'm a color freak when  it comes to putting together a meal. 

 

Update later. 

[Bri2020]

Hang in there. When you take any opiates the drug fills up the pain receptors in your nervous system. The body knows it's needs the ability to sense pain so it makes more receptors. This is why you need more drugs the more you take them. The problem is when you stop, you have millions more pain receptors so if the wind blows, it hurts!  I had a back surg 15 years ago and got hooked. It was terrible to finally come off of them.  I was put on celebrex to help with any real pain left over from the surgery but still had to weather the withdrawl.  Be careful with the xanax- you will get addicted to those and then just have another withdraw to go through.  Exercise is your best friend. twice a day do some really hard workouts. It produces natural endorphins which will bind to the opiate receptors and give you relief.  Sunshine is good too. Basically, anything that gives you that happy feeling. As you've noticed, humor helps. Watch standup comedy in the evenings.  

When you wake up at night and are unable to fall back asleep, just get up and do housework or something for 30 minutes then go back to bed. Laying in bed trying to fall asleep while having withdraw issues never works.  

By now, you should be mostly done with any physical withdraws. Its the mental ones you need to work through at this point- the addiction vs the dependency.  Keep at it every day, use the support groups and try not to use one drug to help withdraw from another if at all possible.

[Bri2020]

Also, I get it with fear of surgery.  My biggest worry nowadays with surgery is getting hooked on painkillers again. Even 15 years later.  I did find the gummies helped me seriously reduce the needs of narcotics the first few days after my recent surgeries which made it easier. But no matter what, I still end up craving them (narcs) once I start back on them and it takes about 2 weeks to get over that even when the post op pain recedes.  You just need to be honest with surgeons and doctors and tell them you have an issue with opiates and to give you other things to help with pain. Some of the NSAIDs are great at post op pain. Surgeons just routinely order narcotics for a week out of or so out of habit, but if you tell them you have struggled with narcotics, they will only order the bare minimum and substitute alternatives.

 

[StephieGurl]

To all that have been posting to me. First I appreciate the time and care you took to message me. But, I do have one wee bit of a request. I have done this before under medical treatment and have read about it. I know most of the things that can help. Walking, reading a book, practicing mindfulness, eat a healthy diet (plenty of veg), follow your physician advice, talk with a therapist, counselor, or good friend, engage in a hobby. These are only some things that can help. But, one of the most best things to do is get a Rx for clonidine patch. It will really help. 

 

You don't have to go it alone. There are drug hotlines and such. A Google search will bring you many choices

 

Thanks again every body who send there support.

 

Tomorrow will probably be my last post on a regular day-to-day submissions

[StephieGurl]

5 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

Also, I get it with fear of surgery.  My biggest worry nowadays with surgery is getting hooked on painkillers again. Even 15 years later.  I did find the gummies helped me seriously reduce the needs of narcotics the first few days after my recent surgeries which made it easier. But no matter what, I still end up craving them (narcs) once I start back on them and it takes about 2 weeks to get over that even when the post op pain recedes.  You just need to be honest with surgeons and doctors and tell them you have an issue with opiates and to give you other things to help with pain. Some of the NSAIDs are great at post op pain. Surgeons just routinely order narcotics for a week out of or so out of habit, but if you tell them you have struggled with narcotics, they will only order the bare minimum and substitute alternatives.

 

To manage my pain as best they could my neurosurgeon sent me to a pain management practice. It was literally plying with fire. Each month became harder and harder until the pain was retuning. They would not go up 2 meds at a time, so gave just Pain was getting worse I took more which lit the switch when the euphoria popped back into the picture. I had always wanted to make the draw down fast, but followed their protocol which was down one dose on med a month. I was looking at another 4 months on the -crap-. It interferes with my desire for a clear thing state. ny way it was practically a forgone conclusion I would be screwed.