Forms that ask for gender

[Fly2188]

When filling out forms that ask for gender, what do you put and when did that change from just putting your birth gender?

 

My wife was filling out something for us this weekend (not a legal or job document) and put “male” for me, but later asked if she should have put something else. She said there were a number of options (including non-binary). I honestly don’t know how I would have answered it myself. 

[MirandaB]

If there's 'prefer not to say' I prefer to check that one. 

 

Depends on the context for me, with male ID if it borders anywhere near needing to show that ID later stuck with M .

[StephieGurl]

Always female unless it specifically is birth sex, which I don't think is anyone's business except certain doctors like a urologist. 

[Fly2188]

1 hour ago, StephieGurl said:

Always female unless it specifically is birth sex, which I don't think is anyone's business except certain doctors like a urologist. 

When in your transition did that change? Was it as soon as you realized you were trans. Was it after you started transitioning? Was it when you socially transitioned? Was it when you medically transitioned? 

[StephieGurl]

It was part of my transition, so I filled in female when I could. I got all my doctor's to have Stephie as my prefer name (I hate that term - it's not prefer it is legal or not. Now it's legal always use female unless ask for birth sex. I even have a letter from my endo confirming I meet the medical criteria for being female. I have yet to submit it to Social Security for some other stuff I was/am dealing with.

 

I hope that helps

[StephieGurl]

4 hours ago, StephieGurl said:

Bitch switch is going to be turned on today. I am reporting a person who misgender me twice and hung up on me on a crisis line. Calling supervisor today. Bad incident but standing up for myself is positive,

 

14 minutes ago, Hannah Renee said:

My driver's license now has an "F" on it for gender. I'm waiting on my new birth certificate to arrive, and the form to apply for that is one of only two forms I've seen requesting birth gender - the other being the DL.

I live in Maryland and all you have to do is go in an say what your sex is, and with no questions asks it's a done deal. They even have "X" mark for those with a non-binary gender

[KathyLauren]

I started checking female as soon as I was out in public.  If I had had any legal forms to fill in between then and when I got my gender change certificate, I might have had to think about checking my birth gender, but that situation never arose.  From the day I stood up in the community meeting and announced that I was trans female, female is what I put.

 

I did still carry a driver's license that said male (yes, Kathy, male!) but it was never questioned.  As soon as I got the legal paperwork for my gender change, I changed those last legacy documents: driver's license, health card, and birth certificate.

 

There are some people who legitimately need to know my gender history, and I tell the truth.  Earlier this year, I had a mammogram.  The technician asked in the intake interview if I still had my uterus.I had a moment's fun and answered that I had never had one of those.  After enjoying her double-take, I told her why not.

[awkward-yet-sweet]

As a rule, I mark things as ambiguously as possible.  I use the "other" or "prefer not to say" boxes for gender if such are offered.  If not offered, I go with female, my birth gender, as I still mostly use feminine pronouns.  I do the same thing for race/ethnicity questions too.  Just "other" and "prefer not to say."  And most of the time I get one of my partners to do it for me...I don't do my own bank stuff or taxes either.  I sign where there's a name box, mostly.

 

I look at it this way - out side of a medical situation, my gender is nobody's business.  And in no situation is my ethnicity relevant.  I list my address as a PO Box, too, as where I live is irrelevant.  My husband likes to say, "Its on a need-to-know basis, and y'all got no need."  😆 

 

 

[Willow]

I go by why the question is being asked.  Legal matter, male, medical or general purpose female or other all forms have different options.

[Becoming Diana]

Most of the time I put female now.  Unless it's a legal matter.  I'm going to look into changing my gender legally soon.

[StephieGurl]

Hey Diana, To change gender with Social Security you need a letter of the treating d.octor who can attest that you have received the proper treatment (I think being on hrt for a year counts). Then you have to submit a new application and mail in your original documentations (e.g. birth certificate, ID, and a letter for proof of address. I have my letter I just haven't sent it in. I just don't like being without my ID. You might find this link helpful - https://faq.ssa.gov/en-us/Topic/article/KA-01453

 

All the best,

Stephie

[MirandaB]

I brought it up with endo in the context of covid vaccine or testing and she said, 'hormonally you're a woman' which was such a good thing to hear. 

[StephieGurl]

10 minutes ago, RhondaS said:

I brought it up with endo in the context of covid vaccine or testing and she said, 'hormonally you're a woman' which was such a good thing to hear. 

I might make a copy of my letter and have it framed.

[Sammie M]

If there is an option for "prefer not to say" then I put that. Quite a few times I have been filling out forms or questionnaires, and if they have just had male or female options then I have just stopped and not gone any further.

 

Sometimes lately they have been doing forms with an option for "Other" or alternative option, so I go for that one.

 

If it's something I 100% have to do (like medical related) and the only options are male/female, then I put male as that is what is on my birth and medical records.

[Heather Nicole]

Whenever "none of your business" wasn't an option, I always used to go with "female"..."just to mess with the accuracy of their data." Now that know I'm a trans woman and not a cis guy, that approach...doesn't quite work anymore, lol!

[Becoming Diana]

10 hours ago, StephieGurl said:

Hey Diana, To change gender with Social Security you need a letter of the treating d.octor who can attest that you have received the proper treatment (I think being on hrt for a year counts). Then you have to submit a new application and mail in your original documentations (e.g. birth certificate, ID, and a letter for proof of address. I have my letter I just haven't sent it in. I just don't like being without my ID. You might find this link helpful - https://faq.ssa.gov/en-us/Topic/article/KA-01453

 

All the best,

Stephie

Thank you for this.  I'm coming out to my doctor next month so I guess the countdown starts then,

[StephieGurl]

Yay!

[Mx.Drago]

It depends on the document. If it's legal or job related, I go by what my legal paperwork sez, so to not cause confusion. I wish it didn't matter, but world still needs time to catch up.🤷 For all other paperwork just "prefer not to say."

[StephieGurl]

I just put in stuff for sex change with Social Security. Letter from doctor attesting to hormone treatment for female for a year. So no forms. But you do need to apply for a new card (why it doesn't have the gender on it?). The worst part is having to put on my deadname (why I already change that). But, the only gender part is your sex and if you mtf you check female. I actually enjoyed that.

 

In MD the birth certificate is similar. Letter, deadname, and male to female or female to male boxes to check. What a non-binary person does I don't know. I read something about being able to mark X for sex, but I didn't see anything like that.

 

PS - the cost in MD is $10 for birth certificate. I thought it was over a $100. So, I might do it. I want to ask my father if he would mine, since it is a historical. I don't think he would mine. He paid for my name change which was $215. Fee and publishing cost. ($165. and $50). I hear in MD you can get the publication requirement can now be waved.

[Susan R]

On 9/13/2022 at 1:15 AM, StephieGurl said:

I have my letter I just haven't sent it in. I just don't like being without my ID.

Did you end up having to send your paperwork and ID in via USPS? Back in 2019, I was able to do it same day using small satellite Social Security office close to where I live and I was in and out of there within 40 mins. Ten days later, I had my new SS card sent to my home.

[StephieGurl]

6 hours ago, Susan R said:

Did you end up having to send your paperwork and ID in via USPS? Back in 2019, I was able to do it same day using small satellite Social Security office close to where I live and I was in and out of there within 40 mins. Ten days later, I had my new SS card sent to my home.

Yes, no local office was open. Having to do the same thing with sex marker. Sent certified mail on Friday

[Guest]

9 hours ago, Susan R said:

Did you end up having to send your paperwork and ID in via USPS? Back in 2019, I was able to do it same day using small satellite Social Security office close to where I live and I was in and out of there within 40 mins. Ten days later, I had my new SS card sent to my home.

I had a similar experience going to the local SS office in Rapid City. Interestingly enough, the latest on the FAQs indicate that they will change you name and gender if it is in your court order. At first the clerk argued with me even though I pulled up the FAQ. He acquiesced when I offered to call the 1-800 number at social security headquarters. They mail the cards. It was pretty cool getting the receipt with my new name. 

[KymmieL]

depends on who is asking and what type of form, computer or written. If written I usually write above male 'born' and above female. 'Identify as'

 

Kymmie

 

[LaurenA]

If it's a form where they expect a text answer such as M/F___  I usually write in the answer "Yes".

[Ryan]

Depends what kind of form it is. If it's anything legal or related to healthcare, put whatever your legal gender is. If it's a general demographic form where it doesn't really matter, I put male, because I am. They don't need to know whether I'm trans or not. In regards to health related forms, I still put male, and add trans beside it or FtM. Although, my legal gender is already changed, I'd still want healthcare to know I'm not cis in regards to medications, etc.