Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Benzo's etc


Recommended Posts

The only way to get my head speeding around like crazy is with Benzodiazepines.

Where I live it is easy to get, but I don't want it.


But my dysphoria only goes away with benzo's.




Link to comment
  • 2 months later...

I know this is necro'ing this thread, but I feel this is a really important question.  I've felt the same way, and used benzo's to manage my dysphoria, depression and anxiety.  The problem with benzo's is they're at best a short term solution and over the long run addiction to benzo's causes way more problems then the issues they were meant to manage.  They can have a place in managing difficult emotions, but they need to be a part of a systematic approach that includes learning skills that can help manage dysphoria and other issues, such as mindfulness practices or the skills that are part of cognitive behavioral therapy.  You should engage with a substance use counselor as well as a therapist and psychiatrist, who could prescribe any benzo's with medical support if they're appropriate.


I think of dealing with this kinds of issues as building a team to support me in meeting my goal of managing my challenging emotions and of maintaining my sobriety. I personally used not only benzo's, but heroin/oxycontin and cocaine.  6 years sober now, and if sobriety is what you want i feel its great to get people on your team, counselors etc. That means you're not alone.


You can do it!

Link to comment

@ThiefOfAlways sorry I missed this & sorry you didn't receive replies before. 


@Kerry_Autumn on the contrary (contrary to necro'ing, lol) I agree this is an important question. You wrote many things I relate to - benzo dependence, heroin addiction, CBT, mindfulness practices. 


Of all the substances I've withdrawn from, including heroin, benzos were by far the worst. (Incidentally, I'd rank cigarettes worse than heroin!) I wish docs would use greater caution in prescribing them. I do not believe they should be used routinely. They seem to allow any natural, physiological ability to manage stress to atrophy...geez, do you have to pay the piper with benzos. 


Indeed, methods Kerry mentioned are proven to help metabolize stress, including dysphoria. The difficult news is that it takes effort and a fair degree of providence to find a therapist/teacher/source that resonates with you. The very good news is that it is always possible to learn new skills, you are your own source of practice and relief, and the more you practice such skills, the greater your faith that "this too shall pass" becomes.


With the right guidance, some balance between "better living through chemistry" and skill in action may be found. 

Link to comment

@Vidanjali Thanks for the mention, I would reemphasize that finding other to manage ways takes time, often years.  I've personally found that things can really start to make positive changes after you've put in the groundwork to build skills to manage difficult emotions.

I love "better living through chemisty"!  Look, substance use is a part of life for the majority of people in the US, and much of the world.  Think about caffeine, nicotine (which i agree is totally harder to quit the either heroin or cocaine/crack).  Even sugar, with the high concentration corn syrup we use, acts almost like a drug in the human body.  Then alcohol, don't even get me started.  Benzodiazepine withdraw is the only type of withdraw that can outright kill you besides alcohol.  Throw in Rx meds like benzo's and opiates etc. and you can begin to see how many people have some kind of relationship to a mind altering substance in their daily lives.

Balance in all things, and just as it's said that nothing worthwhile is gained easily, the same hold true for finding ways to deal with difficult emotions and feelings.  Find support and put in the work, it's the only thing that works long term. (At least I keep telling myself that on the hard days! 😱


Btw; finding and giving support is why I'm on here so anyone reading this is already a step ahead 😁.

Link to comment

My GF (to my knowledge) hasn't dealt with benzo's, but she's a recovering narcotics addict.  From what I know of her experience, you have to have a goal, a reason not to use, and people to help you.  For my GF, I think her big reason was that she didn't want me to find out and not date her.  I only learned about it later.  But she's got our whole family in her corner, helping her stay clean. 


Nothing worthwhile is gained easily, as @Kerry_Autumn said.  I would add that nothing worthwhile happens alone.  You need somebody...not always a professional, just somebody.  And even better is to have more than one somebody, if possible.  Real people understand that everybody deals with some kind of addiction in this broken world.  It is part of the human condition...whether is is narcotics, alcohol, online shopping, or political power.  Everybody has a struggle.  You're not broken, you're human.  A human with troubles, but also a human made in the Divine Image, which means you have eternal value no matter how today looks.  🥰

Link to comment

I love to hear examples of people NOT stigmatizing others for their history of substance use!!!  Internalized stigma is a big reason many people don't seek help for substance use issues.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   7 Members, 0 Anonymous, 81 Guests (See full list)

    • Carolyn Marie
    • VickySGV
    • Betty K
    • Birdie
    • Stefi
    • Ashley0616
    • awkward-yet-sweet
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
    • Total Posts
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
    • Most Online

    Newest Member
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Elishevak
    2. thoustan
      (20 years old)
    3. Tony123
  • Posts

    • Birdie
      I'm not sure for most, but in my case all my friends when out and about are cis women. I'm accepted right into the fold and we have normal 'girl talk' conversations.  We talked about everything from female issues (yeah I get some of those) to shopping and sales.  We talked about cute guys, and some of our dates as well.    I really don't have any 'guy friends', more like acquaintances.    Even when I was in boy-mode I was never accepted into the fold with the guys and always hung out with the girls. They could sense I was different. Of course the guys didn't have to deal with monthly cramps and such, but I did. 
    • KayC
      I'm with Vidanjali (... again! 😊).  I agree more with the first half of the statement than the last half.  'Fools and Fanatics ..." hold on to their delusional ideas with a death grip, in part when they are supported by their chosen tribe of similar lost souls. The truly 'wise' understand the human condition and could even have compassion for those who have lost their way.  Ultimately though, the wise WILL often speak out against intolerance.  If not vocally, then more importantly in the example they provide in how to live a Noble Human Life.
    • Davie
      More JK Rowling Transphobia: Rowling Calls Trans Woman Journalist "A Man...Cosplaying" Rowling took to Twitter on Monday to call trans journalist and broadcaster India Willoughby "a man," "cosplaying a male fantasy," the latest in a long list of transphobic remarks from the author.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      I can't tell if the Moms for Liberty group is focused only on school libraries or if they look at general public libraries as well.  Because the purpose of those venues is rather different.  I see school libraries as a much more focused collection, especially for the younger grades. In this topic's headline story, the South Carolina library in question is a public library   I did check out some of the "60 Minutes" interview, and I'm suspicious.  Seems it was filmed in October but heavily edited and only released recently.  Typical establishment media stuff.  I think one of the worst things you can say about MFL is that they assumed the presentation would be unbiased and consented to participate.  I would have thought they'd be smarter than that.    It seems the book banning efforts aren't particularly coordinated.  They get together in a group and rate books on a 1 to 5 scale on issues like nudity or sexual descriptions.  Local folks then see what titles are on the shelves, and decide whether they want to get rid of everything that's a 3 or greater, or just a 5....something like that.  I doubt efforts are consistent from place to place. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Being stuck with unfriendly parents and not having choices can really suck.  I lived in that situation until I was 26.  I even was forced to attend a "light" version of conversion therapy to get any support from my parents to get the art training I wanted after high school.  I was fine when my sister still lived at home, but she moved in with a girlfriend and left me with my parents.  That was the most depressed I've ever been.    But situations do change - sometimes that change happens to us, and sometimes we make it for ourselves.  Rather than focusing on the dread of what you think might be happening politically, why not make a list of things you'd like to change and how you might accomplish that?  For example, if you want to move out, you'll need money.  Focus on earning money in any way possible, and saving it up while you have the advantage of a roof over your head.  Is there somewhere you would rather live?  Check out what life might be like there.  If you don't know anybody there, maybe meet a couple of people online, or see if a local friend might want to go there with you when the time comes.    Sometimes having a good future means laying groundwork for that future ahead of time.  There are things you can do, and any little way that you can start preparing will make you feel like you have some agency in your life.  It sets a goal and a timeframe, and goalposts by which you can measure your progress.  There is hope, and you can do it!
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Pretty sure there's a wide gap between how you and I see the world...which is fine, as it makes things interesting!  To me, sending a message to cis folks that I'm not like them is absolutely the opposite of what I try to do.  I'd rather be seen for my similarities than my differences at most times.  You mention people seeking their tribe - which has certainly been a big thing in my life.  But is a trans person's tribe necessarily other trans folks?  Would we expect the same from members of other minority groups?  Are Black people supposed to seek out other Black people to spend time with?  Are Greek people (like me) supposed to seek out members of the Greek diaspora in the US?  What about people of a specific faith - are they supposed to spend time only with their faith community?  What about those of us who are LGBTQ+, an ethnic minority, and of a specific faith?  Which aspect of a person's identity takes priority?    I wonder if by focusing on finding the LGBTQ+ tribe and emphasizing how different that tribe is from others, if some people might be missing out on greater acceptance that they might find otherwise?    Isn't it also a question of degree?  For example, one of my friends works as custodian in the main building of my husband's workplace.  She's trans, very feminine, and she looks really nice in feminine clothes and feels comfortable expressing herself like that.  But isn't there a difference between an outfit of subdued colors/modest cut/small accent jewelry vs. a different outfit that is in bright colors/revealing, or even something overtly LGBTQ+ oriented?  Both hypothetical outfits could be described as feminine, but one attracts attention and the other doesn't.  Which is the better choice for her in the workplace?  In the grocery store?  Is the hypothetical subdued outfit more likely to make my friend look and feel less feminine or experience dysphoria than the one that draws more attention?  (And to avoid the "false dilemma" fallacy, these are just two examples - avoiding vs attracting attention is likely a wide spectrum of options.)    There's also an issue in that we can be misunderstood or misidentified by the clothes we wear (or don't.)  For example, you mention me being a "nudist."  Actually, that doesn't identify me correctly....there's subtle differences in purpose and beliefs.  But I couldn't blame folks for assuming that if I showed up totally without clothing.  The principle applies to how folks dress when they want to express themselves.  Even if they mean to find their tribe and identity with it, what impression is left on those around them?    I think that activism and appearance are very linked in this way - that the intended meaning may be very different than what is actually communicated to those around us.  It is perhaps a source of much of the friction we deal with.        I wonder if people are different on this as well.  If I'm not feeling safe, the last thing I want to do is be noticed.  Since getting assaulted 18 months ago, I definitely am quieter and I don't put myself out there as much.  Is it a privilege to be quiet?  I kind of disagree.  I think the real privilege might be that when you aren't quiet, when you're attracting more attention than necessary, yet not experiencing something negative from that. 
    • Vidanjali
      So like a mathematician to think in binary terms lol. There is illogic in my boy's statement though as he begs the question (logical fallacy when an argument's conclusion assumes the truth of its premise instead of supporting it) by assuming first that there is (1) something wrong with the world and (2) only one thing wrong with the world. Besides that, he seems to denounce the natural diversity in human intelligence & assume that the wise should ideally assume some sort of active leadership or control (not to mention his assertion is elitist). Moreover, isn't it so that those who are full of doubt truly are not so wise? As a counter example, many enlightened sages have said that self-realization is the highest attainment and that exuded genuineness is what inspires others, not activity, per se. 
    • April Marie
      Hmmmm, following Carolyn Marie's lead......I'm not sure. 😉🤣
    • VickySGV
      The MFL group has actually been voted out of several school boards recently, which is a good start to undo their mischief.  How many of them are actually mothers of children, and which of them are under investigation by Child Protective Services agencies?? 
    • MaeBe
    • Ashley0616
      It's fun to do. I found a free editor called Camtasia. I'll start using that. Let me know when you do. I'll be a first subscriber. 
    • MaeBe
      I do not. I might have to with all you superstars putting yourself out there though!
    • Ashley0616
      Thank you! Do you have one?
    • MaeBe
      Good for you, Ashley! Subbed! 🤩   💜Mae
    • Ashley0616
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.


Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules


Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.


Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
  • Create New...