coming out of the closet

[skylerpenny1]

Help? would like some advice from others about how to "come out of the closet" to my family... I've been hiding what I am for a very long time and I'm stuck..

Could need a little advice from others...

[Jackie C.]

I just... did it.

 

I mean, don't open with a joke. That did NOT go over the way I expected, but be open and honest.

 

Defferent family members got different treatment of course. My wife? In person conversation where I told her I was a trans woman. My egg-donor? I told her in person too. She disowned me because of all the far right talking points you hear on FOX. My dad? He got a letter because I was afraid that he might get violent. Oddly, he's OK with it. My maternal aunt and uncle got a quick e-mail because we're not close. They were cool with it too. Didn't tell my paternal aunt because we haven't talked in thirty years anyway so I didn't think there was a point.

 

Friends were in-person. They were not surprised. Friends that aren't as close got a quick, "So I'm a trans-woman. Is that going to be a problem?" It wasn't.

 

Hugs!

[Astrid]

I agree with what @Jackie C.described, different approaches for different folks can work.  For me, separate letters to my spouse and to my daughter worked well.  I had time to make sure I'd made all the points I wanted, and they had some time to digest things before we talked with each other.

 

Whether you meet in person or come out via email can, for example, depend on whether the person is close-by or lives some distance from you.  The amount of detail you cover with various folks probably would be different.

 

Reactions can vary, of course.  But the stress you've been building over a long time will be greatly reduced.

 

Best of luck on the journey ahead!  If you browse the site threads, you'll find hundreds of stories of folks who have come out, how they did it, and the kinds of reactions they received.

 

Astrid

[Mmindy]

Hello @skylerpenny1 Welcome to TransPulseForums,

 

I really like how @Jackie C. explained options. @Astridmentions, everyone will react differently.

 

I was under the impression that my immediate family were proactive supporters of the LGBTQ community. After months of therapy for numerous issues, I came out to my wife in person. To say it didn't go well is an understatement, she outed me to our grown children, and their spouses. As bad as it was. Today we look back on the events of that night was, I look at it like pulling a bandage off of a hairy wound. My daughter, and her husband are supportive. My son is more worried about how it will look for him, since he's a second generation firefighter in our city. My wife and I have a positive outlook on our future, and my transition progressing slowly.

 

The most important thing about being out of the closet to my wife, and grown children, is we can have open honest conversation, and I'm not hiding any more. Huge Stress Relief. 

 

Best wishes, stay positive, and know you're not alone.

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

[Maddee]

Hi @skylerpenny1

This  week,  I came out to two different people who knew me as a child and adult man.  A favorite musician uncle, and my moms last best friend, who was also my teacher. 

No good reason I held back before, it’s just that I haven’t seen or talked deep with these two since I changed.

I come out to people I actually have to run into. Or they reach out to me and ask.  

Seems like the right timing.   
Best luck with yours-you should live free
🌈🌈