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In Limbo


Miss Robin

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Hi im a 27 year old male or at least thats what they decided to brand me as at birth.
 

But im not sure about that , i have always for as long as i can remember been very different from other boys . When i was little I always wanted to play with the girls , we played with dolls and dressed up as princesses. When i got older i always had a easier time connecting with girls and spending time with them was much better then hanging out with boys my age. 
 

This continues to this day and i have started thinking that i might feel more connected with them because I somewhere inside always wanted to be a girl. When i was younger i always dreamed at night about turning into a girl and i never missed a chance to have makeup or dress up in my moms clothes. 
 

a few years ago i came out as Bi and i have found that I prefer to be the bottom with men that would pass as straight cis men.
 

I haven’t thought about this for several years but recently I broke up with my ex and since then i have started to explore with wearing womens clothes again. I bought myself a pair of high rise jeans and panties , i even bought myself a bra . 
I also had a girlfriend put makeup on me.

 

And it just feels right , i feel comfortable in the clothes and i feel complete.

 

I know you people aren’t therapists but i want to see if somebody have the same experience or can relate.

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Welcome Miss Robin,

 

I'm sure you will find that there are a lot of people here who have the same feelings, and experiences as you. I too, AMAB always thought I should have been a girl, and now a woman. I however took the male over compensation route, doing everything I could to prove to myself, and others that I was a Man. Well I'm done with that, and now I'm transitioning to be the woman I know myself to be. There will be others chiming in to welcome you. Look around, jump in on some conversations, you're among like people here at TransPuluseForums. This is a family friendly site.

 

Best wishes, stay positive, and motivated.

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

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42 minutes ago, Miss Robin said:

Hi im a 27 year old male or at least thats what they decided to brand me as at birth.
 

But im not sure about that , i have always for as long as i can remember been very different from other boys . When i was little I always wanted to play with the girls , we played with dolls and dressed up as princesses. When i got older i always had a easier time connecting with girls and spending time with them was much better then hanging out with boys my age. 
 

This continues to this day and i have started thinking that i might feel more connected with them because I somewhere inside always wanted to be a girl. When i was younger i always dreamed at night about turning into a girl and i never missed a chance to have makeup or dress up in my moms clothes. 
 

a few years ago i came out as Bi and i have found that I prefer to be the bottom with men that would pass as straight cis men.
 

I haven’t thought about this for several years but recently I broke up with my ex and since then i have started to explore with wearing womens clothes again. I bought myself a pair of high rise jeans and panties , i even bought myself a bra . 
I also had a girlfriend put makeup on me.

 

And it just feels right , i feel comfortable in the clothes and i feel complete.

 

I know you people aren’t therapists but i want to see if somebody have the same experience or can relate.

I had the connection thing with girls/women as far as I recall which is about 5. Lot's of things I didn't notice because of life events. It is all mostly spelled out in three sequential blog posts, you can start here if your interested - https://stephiegurl.home.blog/2021/07/26/trying-to-look-back-through-the-gender-fog-part-1/.

 

Good luck. 

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Hi Robin,

 

I think everyone here can relate to the way you are feeling.  Getting in touch with who you really are can be challenging and it can take some time.  You'll find that your journey to self-discovery may not be exactly like anyone else, but you'll also find others whose journey is similar to yours. Learn from others, but listen closely to your own heart. 

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Robin,

It was really interesting to see how much your story parallels mine.  I was also more into traditionally "fem" activities like playing with dolls, dress up, all that fun stuff that as cis-assumed boys we're discouraged from liking. 

For me, I got to a place where I came to terms with the fact that I wasn't happy with my gender identity/presentation, and started getting support and making changes to appear on the outside more like I felt inside.  The thing is, half of that was actually identifying how I felt on the inside other then just that I wasn't happy with my body.  Personally I had to deal with a TON of internalized cultural stigma as well; although it doesn't sound like a huge issue for you I thought I'd mention it cause it can be subconscious sometimes.

I look at this whole thing as a journey without a specifically defined end point. I hope you can find good support as you move forward and explore who you want to be as part of your own journey.  I can't emphasize how important clinical support was for me, I say talk with your primary doctor and see a therapist who specializes in working with gender identity issues. 

Don't be afraid to kick a counselor to the curb if they're not a good fit, sometimes it can take a few tries to find a therapist who can provide the kind of support you need!!!

 

All the best and good fortune to you in your own journey!

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