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Feeling self conscious dressing fem in public


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So I feel better about myself dressing fem skinny jeans flannel and bear paw boots but I feel so self conscious in public to the point of having anxiety.I feel like at a glance I pass but feel eyes on me and I don’t even wear makeup.The funny or not so funny thing is all my clothes are mens clothes but looks pretty feminine together on myself.I really don’t care what people think I just want to be left in peace

Any advice?

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  • Admin

Here is something I posted 10 months after I came here that I have found holds true almost all the time.  It fits not only posting pictures of yourself but folks you will meet every day. 




You do have to hit yourself hard on the head with some reality.  The reality is that people will not see anything strange even about us dressing in public if it fits what they expect to see where they are.  If you are happy with the way you look, show the happy and that is what folks will see.  We all look at other people, and I mean all of us do, or you would not think you are being looked at, it does turn around on us.  For the area you say you live in, the clothing seems appropriate to me, so if they see nothing that says wrong, like a filmy evening dress at high noon, what they do means nothing really.  Enjoy what I wrote in that link. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Pacificlife1994.. I totally understand about you having anxiety. I am feeling the same. My main concearn for myself is work and how things will be handled there, when I change my style of dressing. But the fear of the unknown is anxiety provoking for me.



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On 12/19/2022 at 7:12 PM, VickySGV said:

show the happy and that is what folks will see

So well said Vicky.  It's the credo I try to follow when I'm out and about, and I'm happy to say it cuts through the anxiety.  


Pacificlife1994, wear what makes you comfortable and be confident about your looks.  Yes, I know it can be hard, but after doing it for a while, you'll feel the difference.  Won't happen overnight, but rest assured, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

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I know exactly how you feel @Pacificlife1994 and I use the same dressing techniques to at least put a little androgynous uncertainty is somebody's reaction to me.  Is she a 'girl' or a 'guy' ... I overheard somebody say that while on a walk in the park recently.  That actually made me feel pretty good.  A positive gender affirmation is even better, of course.


My experience is limited but I have found each journey 'out' is a small step forward in progress and confidence.  So I would just urge you to continue and employ @VickySGV's advice ... Show the HAPPY!

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