What it was like coming out as NB to my parents.

[PlutoTheOpposum]

I'm new on this site, but I figured I share my story of coming out to my parents. I'm bi-gender, but I consider myself non-binary, and I came out to my parents a month or two ago. It's been difficult, as my parents don't really seem to understand what non-binary means, and kinda group it in with neo-pronouns. I'm still new to neo-pronouns, and they still just don't really fit me. They/them and neo-pronouns just aren't the same.

But anyways, onto how I ACTUALLY came out. 

I really wasn't ready to come out to my parents, as the first time was because they had read my diary. I mentioned in it how I go by they/them, and eventually want to get top surgery. I wasn't expecting anybody to read it. It was very scary, as I had a lot I needed to say but physically could not get the words out. So I just sat there in silence as they went on about my notebook. 

The second time was because they found my pinterest, which had a vent board. That's like stuff I relate to, specifically about mental health and identity and stuff. Again, I was too scared to really say anything. But somehow, it got onto the topic of hair. I want to cut my hair short so, so bad as I'm very femme-presenting. My parents told me it'd look ugly with my face shape, and that I'd need to lose some weight before I cut it, etc. They asked me why I wanted to cut my hair so bad, and my sister blurted out; "Because she's non-binary." 

My parents then went on to try and suggest that I'm using nounself pronouns, which I do not use in any way. I'm not going to comment on nounself pronouns, but I'll just say they're not my cup of tea.

Lastly, the third time was when my mom was filling out my permission slip for a trip I'm going on. It asked what gender identity I go by, and my mom called me in there to put what I identify as. That was probably the most she respected me in terms of gender, but she still said it with a bit of annoyance. I then put the name I prefer to go by, which is just a shortened version of my full name. It really sucks, because when I first told her about that name she said it was cute, but now she just says it with a sort of dislike in her voice. I'm not sure if that makes any sense.

Since then, my parents have been watching a lot more things about gender. Specifically people calling out trans and non-binary people. One was about how more people are using nounself pronouns, and the person in the video said he wasn't going to follow the pronouns if it's just a 13 year old who hardly knows themself. Again, I have no comments on nounself pronouns, but it just felt like they were watching that on purpose since I've only been out to them for a few months. (and they think I've only BEEN non-binary for a few months.)

 

So yeah, this was just me rambling. If there are any other enby/trans peeps out there, please know it'll be okay. You don't have to look androgynous to have your pronouns respected, and you don't need others' validation to be yourself. It doesn't matter what age you are, just as long as you know you're being true to yourself. People will try to tell you all sorts of things, like that you're trans/enby for attention, or that you're misogynistic for being FtM or FtNB, but those comments truly just don't matter. 

>I will say, don't come out if you think it could put your physical or mental wellbeing in danger. Me personally, my mental wellbeing isn't too great right now, and I know coming out has something to do with it. Like I said, you can be Trans/non-binary and femme or masc presenting, but your safety comes first.

Stay safe guys ❤️

[Human Creature]

I hope things are going better, I know from the date it's been a few months. You said your parentals were watching some transphobey stuff on pronouns? Have you maybe shown them any videos from other Trans/NB people? Maybe that would help a bit? It's a good sign your mom asked you for your identity on the permission slip, that's something right, even it's small it's something.