Good news. I got assigned a real gender therapist from Fenway Health.

[Davie]

The wait list took 7 months, but that's not a problem really. I've been lucky to have had good help that way. They saw me through a very tough couple of years when I faced eviction, assault, coming out, new housemate, hurt back, work problems, very sick from diabetes, and suicidal thoughts. I've had four different but very supportive therapists. My local hospital gives great care but the most appropriate therapist they could offer was brand new, young, with little gender training, and had no trans experience. But she is smart, a good listener, patient, attentive, and asks good questions. Mainly she was there each week and let me go on and on for each hour--I love to talk. And she related well to me working through my problems using my writing of an autobiographical novel related to my gender issues. Tough choice: I need to keep only one says my insurance and my sanity. So I'll have to fire one at some point soon. A prosperous problem to have. Lucky that way and I am gaining a better sense of who I am—no small thing, that is. One day at a time. A good news post. Yay.   — Davie

[VickySGV]

You are definitely moving along there.  It is wonderful to hear.  The very best Gender Therapists have all started out as what I and some therapist friends describe as "garden variety" therapists who simply take an interest in their Trans clients and go from there.  You have broken in a new one of them.

[Davie]

@VickySGVThanks so much, Vicky. I am so insecure about whether I'm making progress, or even "any" progress at all. I get lost putting where I am right now into its proper perspective, so that's great to hear. Because my whole past seems so affecting by trauma and denial it draws my attention away from the here and now. I need to remember that liberation is for today—not the future when everything might be "all figured out." Life is simpler than I make it sometimes. Just do it, sistah! 

— Davie

[Davie]

So, yes, I've really moved along . . . I had my first session with a gender therapist today and she seems great in knowledge and experience. It's a little scary opening up so much to a new person, but I do trust her, and trust we'll do good work together. Tougher, is saying goodbye to my previous one. Miss her already. I care for her like a sister, despite the fact she looks both younger and prettier than any serious therapist has a right to be. Goodbye, I.R.

 

[Davie]

Today was my first real gender therapy appointment. Went great. So much trust. She really gets it with her deep experience and she's also already part of the LGBTQIA+ community. I feel like a new person in her accepting eyes. I'm a little in shock at my new optimism about my life and work.

[VickySGV]

@DavieIt only gets better, but there will be times you may not completely believe it.

[Davie]

8 hours ago, VickySGV said:

there will be times you may not completely believe it.

That's probably true, too. Like a three-way street. Up?

[Davie]

I am glad to have a therapist to talk to. But I'm really triggered today. Anxious, short of breath, got a pin-wheel mind. All having to do with landlord issues. Things are basically OK, just having to deal with it gives me the trigger that says "Panic!"  I can breathe and rest in reality today, but not just yet. I am glad to have a therapist to talk to on Friday. This too will pass. Thanks, Davie

[Ashley0616]

I'll be praying for you Davie.

[Davie]

2 hours ago, Ashley0616 said:

I'll be praying for you Davie.

Thanks so much, Ashley. I took time to breathe and let go, talked with friends, accepted your prayers, and followed up with details—and I feel better now.

[Ashley0616]

Great to hear! 

[Charlize]

I've got one of those magic magnifying minds that can spin me into deep holes.  I'm glad you posted here and can breathe and let it go.  I often use the serenity prayer when the mind runs off.  It helps!

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Davie]

2 hours ago, Charlize said:

I often use the serenity prayer when the mind runs off.  It helps!

@CharlizeYes. This one. It helps reduce the size of the problem to what's possible--and find a solution. Usually, turn it over and let go.