Hi, I'm Brynne

[Brynne_in_Wating]

I’ve been on the site for a couple of weeks poking around and finding a lot of great resources.  I figured it was time for me to do an introduction.  I live near Austin, TX – I’m 56 years old and recently figured out that I’m trans.  I got divorced last year and have several daughters who identify at different points on the rainbow spectrum (trying to be a bit vague since they have their own stories to tell).  They have taught me a lot!  Recently I determined to put some effort into determining how I want to live the rest of my life and what will make me happy.  I did some digging into gender studies – mostly through podcasts (I highly recommend both Gender Reveal and Gender Rebels), which has led me to this point.

 

I’ve listened to a lot of stories about people who have known about their gender dysphoria and for whatever reason, have not been able to live their authentic lives.  I don’t fit that mold – I never knew how uncomfortable I was being a man, but I didn't connect that with gender dysphoria.  I have always hated toxic masculinity, was never into sports, and have am more comfortable hanging around women than men.  I also spent over 20 years in a high-demand fundamental religion (read – cult) that was super focused on patriarchy.  I got increasingly more upset at being part of that organization as the years went on, and me deciding to leave put pressure on my marriage, which ultimately ended.

 

As I came to realize that I may be transgender, the questions & concerns mounted.  Am I too old to transition?  I listened and read stories about people transitioning who are my age (or older).  Can I do the work that I believe is necessary?  I started exercising and dieting – I’ve lost 15 pounds and 2 inches off my waist, so far.  I have more to do, but I feel so much better about myself and feel that I can do it.  There are a lot of steps to transitioning – can I figure them out and make that happen?  I’ve found so much material – here and elsewhere, and while it is still a lot, I believe I can put a plan together (another podcast I would recommend is Exclusively Inclusive).

 

But my biggest concern was around “passing”.  I don’t think that word fully describes my concerns – I don’t think I care so much about what others think – but can I be feminine enough for me?  Can I look in the mirror and see the woman that I’ve come to realize is inside me?  More than anything else – I want to be pretty.  I don’t need to be gorgeous, I don’t care if I don’t turn heads on the street – but I want to be happy with the woman looking back at me in that mirror.

 

So I went on an experiment.  I went to Coco Coquette – they are a female-owned wig shop in Austin, TX.  They are very trans-friendly and offer MtF makeovers.  So I did one last week – you can see the results in the photos gallery.  As I mentioned earlier – I’ve never experienced gender dysphoria, but on that day I experience gender euphoria.  Like a 11 out of 10.  I have never been so happy with how I looked and felt – it was like I was walking on a cloud.  I know I have a lot of work ahead of me – but that experience gave me hope.  I know I can do it.  I decided to tell my girls – and they were so supportive! 

 

Brynne has always been a part of me, I just never realized it.  I am disappointed that it took me this long to find her, but I’m so happy I did.  I have no idea where life will take me, but I’m now looking forward to the journey.

 

I remain,

Brynne in Waiting

[VickySGV]

Welcome Brynne,  I am 75 now and did not really get a start on dealing with things until I was 61.  Very nice picture there, as a confirmed red-head myself, the hair looks great.  Back when I was a young adult we were just starting to learn about Transgender people and Gender Dysphoria and so I had no connection to specific feelings that I was female, but did know that I was very very uncomfortable living as a part of the dominant male culture. 

[Mmindy]

Good morning Brynne,

 

Welcome to Transgender Pulse Forums, I hope you find this site as helpful as I do. I'm 66 years old and didn't come out to my wife that I was transgender until two years ago. At first she was explosively angry and said that I killed our marriage, and if I continued to transition she would leave, and I would be dead to her. She immediately outed me to our grown children, and their spouses. She also claimed to be a total supporter of the LGBTQIA community, until I came out, and then there were restrictions to her support. Well our children and their spouses surprised her by supporting me, and seeing the early signs of my feminine side. Today my wife and I are still married, I'm transitioning slowly, and we have the most honest and open talks in our soon to be 47 year marriage. 

 

I'm glad you have the support of your children as well. You look fantastic and we all need to loose 15 pounds or so... That's mostly all life is about once you reach a particular age. Gain 15 pounds, loose 15 pounds and recycle the battle. 

 

Best wishes, stay positive, and motivated,

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

[Brynne_in_Wating]

Thanks Vicky & Mindy!

[April Marie]

Welcome, Brynne!! Another late bloomer here having just finally beginning the process a few months ago at 67. I can totally relate to your feelings about wanting to look in the mirror and be happy with the woman looking back at you. And, I am. I love the idea of doing a makeover and plan on making a trip to a place that specializes in doing them within a few hours of our home at some point.

 

I look forward to hearing about your plans and progress!!