Are we sexist for honoring our gender identity?

[Sunchild]

I was told many times by GCs that we're sexist for believing that gender identity is one of the highest forms of our true self, because it is related to how we express ourselves in our authenticity. To me it is literally the exact opposite of sexism, because it honors manhood and womanhood beyond bodily functions. The point is that I am trying to understand how and why some people think there is something sexist about it, they seem to think following our gender identity means trying to fit into gender norms somehow, they think gender is not innate also, it does not make any sense, gender identity is all about relationship with our own body. Isn't sexist when our gender is reduced to our genitals? or when we do not act like others within our gender group? I am curious about your views on this. It's fascinating to me how being true to myself would make me sexist by default. 

[awkward-yet-sweet]

Sexist?  I don't think so.  Sexism according to Merriam-Webster online is:

 

1.   prejudice or discrimination based on sex  (especially : discrimination against women)

2,  behavior, conditions, or attitudes that foster stereotypes of social roles based on sex

 

From what I see in that definition, sexism primarily involves how a person relates to another person.  I'm not sure how it could even relate to a person's self-expression.  If at all possible, the part you mention about "fitting into gender norms" could possibly be sexist, but in that case it is sexist against one's own self, rather than others.  And if it is against one's own self, I'm not sure how that could be bothersome to others or even be other people's business.

 

Is gender identity one of the highest forms of our true self?  That's more a philosophical question.  For me, it doesn't matter so much.  I'm just me...in my boy form feels better, but in my girl form I wasn't ever *not* me.  Are manhood and womanhood something beyond bodily functions?  Again, that's a philosophical question.  My personal belief is that bodily function is extremely important.  But I don't think it is the sum total of our being.  Other people's opinions may vary.  There isn't a solid answer that is deeper than philosophy, faith, or opinion.  Acting like others in our gender group - that varies tremendously by culture, location, and time period.  That part is more sociology/anthropology than philosophy. 

 

In then end....congratulations!  You're a typical human being.    And those who try to say something negative about you are mostly just revealing their own insecurities.  Just be you, no matter what they say. 

[Dillon]

If I'm following correctly, they are saying our gender identities are not a reality or that they are trivial. It sounds like more transphobia to me. 

 

[VickySGV]

39 minutes ago, Dillon said:

If I'm following correctly, they are saying our gender identities are not a reality or that they are trivial. It sounds like more transphobia to me. 

 

That is my reading as well @Sunchild.  That said: we are having problems these days with terminology which gets even more problematic when two or three languages are involved.  We are having very precise words and ideas turned into trivial generalities that simply now stand as a code word for hatred.  Sexism is one of those words which has become a weapon as opposed to a tool for understanding.

[Sunchild]

10 hours ago, Dillon said:

If I'm following correctly, they are saying our gender identities are not a reality or that they are trivial. It sounds like more transphobia to me. 

 

Yes it is, I just wanted to understand how they think, if they even comprehend what is gender identity at all, because their whole resistance is rooted in ignorance, imo they probably believe we just want to fit into gender stereotypes, when in reality embodying my gender brings me more in touch with myself by awakening a desire for living at all.   

[Vidanjali]

1 minute ago, Sunchild said:

Yes it is, I just wanted to understand how they think, if they even comprehend what is gender identity at all, because their whole resistance is rooted in ignorance, imo they probably believe we just want to fit into gender stereotypes, when in reality embodying my gender brings me more in touch with myself by awakening a desire for living at all.   

 

Indeed & beautifully said. Your affirmation of your experience of gender is a joyful, liberating, empowering experience. Moreover, transgender expression opens up uncountably many ways in which to express gender. This is practically the opposite of sexism which is oppressive and aggressive. In fact, one might more reasonably argue that insisting trans ppl stay closeted is sexist as it is at "best" pigeonholing based on body parts, and at worst, life-threatening.

 

You're right that transphobes do not employ logic (or empathy) in their claims. They react to ignorance with fear, anger & self-righteousness. Inquiry into "who am I?" is one of the loftiest pursuits of life. This has been affirmed by many philosophical and spiritual masters throughout time. I personally believe that my true identity is beyond name and form. But, one must also approach the question from a practical, worldly point of view. If one can live one's best life by expressing gender genuinely, which can be extremely nuanced, then one will experience greater joy and peace in life. And joyful, peaceful people are a boon to everyone who encounters them. Although being transgender is difficult in this world, I am grateful for the experience because it has urged me to deeper inquiry, afforded me unique perspectives, and expanded my imagination and sense of compassion. 

[KathyLauren]

24 minutes ago, Sunchild said:

if they even comprehend what is gender identity at all

 

14 hours ago, Sunchild said:

they think gender is not innate

 

I think that this is the key to understanding those attitudes.  They have been taught (unfortunately often by misguided trans activists) that gender identity is a "choice".  Ongoing media coverage reinforces that belief.  They don't understand that gender identity is innate.  When presented with the research that says it is, they simply deny it because it does not conform to their preconceptions.  We will make limited progress against transphobia until we can change the narrative to reflect this reality.

[Sunchild]

3 hours ago, Vidanjali said:

 

Indeed & beautifully said. Your affirmation of your experience of gender is a joyful, liberating, empowering experience. Moreover, transgender expression opens up uncountably many ways in which to express gender. This is practically the opposite of sexism which is oppressive and aggressive. In fact, one might more reasonably argue that insisting trans ppl stay closeted is sexist as it is at "best" pigeonholing based on body parts, and at worst, life-threatening.

 

You're right that transphobes do not employ logic (or empathy) in their claims. They react to ignorance with fear, anger & self-righteousness. Inquiry into "who am I?" is one of the loftiest pursuits of life. This has been affirmed by many philosophical and spiritual masters throughout time. I personally believe that my true identity is beyond name and form. But, one must also approach the question from a practical, worldly point of view. If one can live one's best life by expressing gender genuinely, which can be extremely nuanced, then one will experience greater joy and peace in life. And joyful, peaceful people are a boon to everyone who encounters them. Although being transgender is difficult in this world, I am grateful for the experience because it has urged me to deeper inquiry, afforded me unique perspectives, and expanded my imagination and sense of compassion. 

 

Thank you for your perspective, I couldn't agree more. I've been living with this profound desire inside of me that other people around me would know what its like and what I go through in my own transgender experience, and I came to a realization that it was largely a spiritual but also a deeply psycho-somatic experience, to describe it is more like a blind person suddenly being able to see, or a child thats been in a coma for most of her life suddenly wakes up in adulthood and wants to live and starts desiring others to show her life, to guide her through it, to enjoy it with her. I felt like I was a child that was finally born, and barely anyone noticed, and that made me cry so much, sooo much that I could barely breathe, because I was so happy, but also sad, I had tears of happiness every day, and no one was there for me to hold me, to understand me. I had no life before transition, I had nop friends, no real desires. it felt like I havent fully incarnated back then yet, and that changed during the first year of transition, all of a sudden I was flooded with realizations of what I wanted to do in life. This is why it boggles my mind how come there is so many people who can not empathize, and I think similar things many autistic people also feel, because others can not relate, and that can be a lonely experience for some time before finding the right people to us who truly see us.

If I was able to capture in sound my own spiritual journey during the years of transition this song would be it, which I used to play to myself all the time -