Weird looks from people 2-4 months hrt

[Pacificlife1994]

So ever since I was two months in I have been getting weird looks from some people.I wear all guys clothes flannel jeans although skinny and bear paw boots.one guy at home depot asked somebody they were with,was that a guy or a woman? Also just confused looks.Although the other day I was carrying my moms purse and a woman in her 30s said nice bag not sarcastically so there is that?

[VickySGV]

Sounds like you are chugging along the track there.  Keep it going.

[Charlize]

If you are bi-gender i would guess being seen as either male or female would puzzle many who live in a binary world.  

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Pacificlife1994]

I’m not sure what bi gender is I think I understand.I’m not sure if I’m two spirit or if I’m just programmed to behave male  in certain instances and mentally especially when under stress.when I’m stressed out I find myself diverting back to my egotistical self,my more what I call male self and it makes me uncomfortable for different reasons.I can handle short term stress,but long term especially when it brings out the masculine side of me I find to be very distressing.At the same time I don’t feel right to be hyper feminine.I kinda feel like feminine but kinda butch ,tomboyish you could say.I really have no body to talk to about this.My mom listens but that’s about it. 

Also is it just me,or does it seem like ever since Covid,so many people are just miserable and full of hate? 

[Sally Stone]

I'm not a big label person, but bigender has always felt like a good fit for me.  It defines my dual spirits, one of which is decidedly masculine and the other which is extremely feminine.  I would be very unhappy if I had to choose one spirit over the other.  I tend to compartmentalize my gender expression keeping it separated and not combining the two, but it sounds as though you are comfortable blending your gender expression, which is perfectly okay.  It may, on occasion, confuse or confound someone who lives their life believing in a binary world, but don't let their narrow-minded views keep you from being who you are, especially if it makes you happy. 

 

As for stress, stressors tend to generate hormonal responses and being only a little ways into HRT I suppose there is still enough testosterone in your system to generate a masculine response.  I suspect this will change over time as the male hormones diminish and the female hormones become dominant.  

[Dillon]

@Pacificlife1994One thing you say resonates for me about my own identity. When I feel stressed, especially when I feel invalidated, I start to think of myself as female. Friends suggested that this could be social dysphoria. In other words for me, my gender is male but society has always told me that I am female, so I was hearing a message from society that I am invalid and my male identity is invalid. When something happens that makes me feel invisible or invalidated, and most stressful situations have that effect on me, the false female self that was defined for me seems like the only real thing. I have learned over time that it helps me if I am thinking of myself as female (which btw never feels good inside me and I almost feel like I don't exist at all these times) to look at where I am feeling stress or to remember if I discussed my gender with a cis person, even if they are trying to be an ally. Looking at these things always stops or slows down the female false identity in me and I start to feel alive again. 

[awkward-yet-sweet]

I sometimes get a questioning look from people due to my androgynous appearance.  Depending on a viewer's preconceived ideas, I can look like a female or I can look like a teenage boy.  For whatever reason, my face has stayed young and I'm fairly slender, which adds to the confusion.  When I'm with my husband, people really start trying to guess the relationship.  Son?  Little brother?  Daughter?  Sister?  For whatever reason, they rarely guess correctly and people sometimes look shocked when my husband uses the word "partner" since they don't get an answer other than the fact that we're together.  I get a little giggle out of making nosy people confused.