Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

suggestions for picking a therapist, please


Recommended Posts


I'm so happy I found this place and all of you. I feel instantly a part of a loving family that understands n gets me n my issues. thank you


so my pcp treated me as m for years n hugged me when missy went to his office. he suggested a local hospital has an excellent gender clinic. ok good. 


that still leaves me needing a therapist, badly. I looked online n have a bunch of names I was going to whittle it down to n send out emails seeing if they're still taking clients etc.


my question to you is, is this how you did it? pick a therapist separately n then go to gender clinic? any suggestions what to look for or ask? I was leaning towards wanting in person and online too  is that silly? what kind of rates did everyone get. 


anything you care to share so I can try to make a better choice, I would truly appreciate. thank you girls 



Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I found a therapist by talking to a local trans friend.  At that point clinics were rare at best.  There is a list of therapists in the resource center of tg pulse which might be of helps well.  As a last resort ask the folks at the clinic who they recommend.  I remember just opening up when i went to my therapist.  Perhaps there were two reasons.  I had held things in of so long but i'm also a cheep skate.  I simply couldn't see paying for therapy and not opening up.  It was a great experience for me and it has carried me through the fears and doubts that we often confront on this journey to self realization.

Best of luck in your search and journey.





Link to comment
  • Admin

This old post of mine might help answer some of your questions, @missyjo

Aside from that, talking to folks at your local LGBT center for recommendations, and as you've already done, checking online, and as Charlize mentioned, using our Resource Finder, Here.  Your idea of sending out e-mails is excellent, and you can use my post to think of some questions to ask them.  Good luck!


Carolyn Marie





Link to comment

I found mine through Pride Counseling, online. They are an LGBTQ+ focused sub-group of BetterHealth. They linked me up with a licensed therapist who worked with gender-related/LGTBQ+ issues and who is licensed in my home state. I know it doesn't happen all the time, but the chemistry clicked from the start and I've been with her for about 3 months now. I can't believe how much she's helped me in this relatively short period of time. I am moving from Pride to her private practice to continue my counseling/therapy.

Link to comment

In my case, I got lucky. I was on TRICARE at the time and wound up using the services available at Luke AFB, because of, shall we say, circumstances involving my military service involving security clearances and such. I had the same therapist for six years, until she left the military and went into private practice. I followed her and have been with her since. 

Link to comment

thank you all so very much.

you've given me such good tips, thank you. my friends told me they wish they could help but they're lost in the woods with these issues. so your suggestions are HUGE. 

THANK YOU girls. 😊 

Link to comment

Hi Missyjo, 

I just wanted to add one more point from my personal experience. It is extremely important to have a good level of comfort and ease of interacting with your therapist. Sometimes you just don't really click on a personal level. What I am trying to say don't be afraid to look for someone else if the first one doesn't feel right to you. 

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...

thanks girls

I sent email to 2 different therapist today, so maybe I'm closer..I hope. feeling lately that it would help a lot, especially before I commit to next few steps, like 3 year contract for laser n maybe hrt soon..shivers..I so hope..


thanks for your continued help n support girls





Link to comment


I took everyone's advice n followed a lead in carolyn Marie post n now I'm happy to report I have submitted my initial paperwork n am looking forward to my 1st therapy session next week. cool! 😀

thank you girls


Link to comment


thank you. used link in Carolyn' Marie post n my 1st therapy appointment is next week. giggles

thank you

I feel better already 

thank you all. I'll update after my appointment 


Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Fantastic!  I remember being so excited when i first went to my therapist.  Very shortly i just opened up and a life of fear started to slip away as i started to accept myself.  Please let us know how it went.





Link to comment

thank you Charlize. I'm excited n hopeful this brings me further on my journey to be the woman I feel I am.

thank you


Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...


it went as Charlize described. even after I simply had the initial email n forms to complete I felt, happier, better, like I had 1 more professional in my corner to help guide me along. had first session yesterday n I think it went well. I felt comfortable with her n we have next session next week. 80% of her business is gender related for last 25+ years, so she's been here n heard ut all I expect.



that's comforting to me. I'm excited, as I told her, nervous but excited n thrilled she would take me as a client. 


fingers crossed


thank you all. I'll keep you posted n bore you to death I'm sure. giggled



Link to comment

This is great news!!! It is such a wonderful feeling when you click with your therapist - it makes even the most difficult topics easier. 


I had my weekly session on Wednesday and my therapist said she'd had an increase in people reaching out to her on gender-related issues. I feel so fortunate to have found her right from the start.


I can't wait to hear how it works out!!!



Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   5 Members, 0 Anonymous, 129 Guests (See full list)

    • Chloe Summer
    • Vidanjali
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • Jet McCartney
    • Ashley0616
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
    • Total Posts
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
    • Most Online

    Newest Member
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Dillon
    2. Kaylee888
    3. lily100
      (39 years old)
    4. Luce
      (44 years old)
    5. Luke.S
  • Posts

    • Ashley0616
      It's awesome that you have had such a great friend in your life! I could only imagine what losing felt like to you. It's neat that you worked for the airlines. Did you take advantage of the space availability fights? My dad worked for Northwest and always flew every single summer except one where we drove from north Mississippi to Phoenix, AZ. My parents agreed to never do that again lol. 
    • Ashley0616
      The trans community won't be good under Trump at all. Biden is the one who has done more for the trans community than any other presidents. Last time Trump was in office he was at an LGBTQ rally and his support went quickly away from us because the majority of the voters are anti trans. He is going to get rid of our rights and also come after the rest of LGBTQ.  I don't know where you heard we would be better under Trump.    Trump unveils sweeping attack on trans rights ahead of 2024 (axios.com)   Trump Promises to Go After Trans People if Re-Elected (vice.com)   Trump promises to ban transgender women from sports if re-elected (nbcnews.com)
    • Sally Stone
      Post 7 “The Pittsburgh Years” When I retired from the Army, we moved to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania because I had been hired by US Airways to work in their flight training department.  The transition to civilian life was a bit of an adjustment, but I never really looked back.  At the same time, I was excited at the prospect of having more Sally time. But with work and two teenage boys in the house, getting to be Sally was a challenge.    The biggest issue in this regard were my sons, as they didn’t know about my feminine side.  My wife and I discussed, in great detail, whether or not to tell them.  If they had known about Sally, it would have been much easier to actually be Sally when I wanted to.  But I still didn’t know exactly where my transgender journey was going to take me, and this uncertainty was the primary reason my wife and I decided it wasn’t the right time to tell them about Sally.  Except for the convenience it would afford me, we didn’t think it was fair to burdened them with such a sensitive family secret if it wasn’t absolutely necessary.  If at some point things changed and it looked like I might be heading towards transition, my wife and I agreed we would revisit our decision.   Despite having to tiptoe around the boys I was able, with my wife often running interference for me, to significantly increase my girl time.  The nature of my variable work schedule meant that often days off occurred during the week when the boys were in school, and on those days, I took full advantage of the time.  Additionally, I had discovered a new trans friend through a local support group, and my wife, ever and always accommodating, ensured I had time for outings with my new friend.    Willa, my new friend, quickly became my best friend, and after only a short time, she and my wife became quite close as well.  With Willa’s help, I would soon discover that Pittsburgh was a very trans friendly city.  Together, she and I made the town our own.  We attended the theater, the symphony, we went out to dinner regularly, and I think we visited every museum in the city.  With Willa’s support and friendship, I was actually becoming quite the girl about town.    Willa and I had a lot in common.  We loved to shop, we had similar feminine styles, and we had similar views and feelings about being trans.  In fact, our frequent and deep discussions about transgender issues helped me begin to understand my transgender nature.  Having Willa as a springboard for all topics transgender, was probably as effective as regularly visiting a therapist.  I would never discount anyone’s desire to seek professional help, but having an unbiased confidant, can also be an effective method for self-discovery.    Exploring the city as Sally and spending time with Willa was instrumental in helping me understand my transgender nature, and would begin shaping my transgender objective.  My feelings about the kind of girl I was and where I wanted to go began to solidify.  Being out and socializing as Sally in a big city like Pittsburgh, taught me I could express my femininity without issue.  I honestly felt confident I could live my life as a woman; however, remaining completely objective, I just couldn’t see giving up the life I’d built as a man.   At that time, I was being heavily influenced by the concept of the gender binary, which had me thinking I had to choose between being a man or being a woman.  It was Willa who reminded me there were no rules requiring gender identity to be binary.  During one of our deep discussions, she posited the idea of enjoying both genders, something she was doing, and a concept that made a lot of sense to me.  I was already living the life of a part-time woman, so I simply started paying more attention to how that was making me feel.    One characteristic that was dominating my feminine self-expression (and it continues to this day) was that when I was Sally, I was “all in.”  When I became Sally, it was such a complete transformation that I truly felt like a woman.  The feeling was powerful, and if I had to describe it another way, I’d say it was akin to an actor, so into the part, they actually become the character they are portraying.  That was me, and I discovered that this level of depth was extremely fulfilling, and that feeling tended to last long after transitioning back to my male persona.  Part-time womanhood it seemed, was actually working for me.    Eventually, a job change forced me to move away from Pittsburgh, but the enlightenment I experienced while living there has shaped the nature of my bi-gender personality to this day.  Even after leaving, Willa and I remained the best of friends.  We had many more adventures, some of which I will detail in later posts.  Sadly, Willa passed away two-years ago after contracting a prolonged illness.  Her loss was hard to take and I miss her dearly.  However, I have so many fond memories of our times together, and because her support helped shape me, she lives on in my heart.   Hugs,   Sally
    • missyjo
      thank you dear. I'm constantly working at adjusting n writing off other people's judgment or input.   thank you n good luck
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Them's fighting words, but I intend to discuss this respectfully, calmly and so forth, in accordance with the forum rules.   Considering the one issue below in isolation:   There is a political calculus that trans folk may be better off under Trump than under Biden.  The argument goes that Biden has created such a backlash by moving so far to the left that red states, in particular, are reacting with a swarm of laws that negatively impact trans folk.  Some of his actions strike many people as clumsily forcing unwanted regulation on people, and some of his appointments, such as the luggage stealing bigender individual, have not helped advance trans folk but rather the reverse.  In a second term Biden would make things worse for trans folk because of the backlash and resentment his policies would create.    Trump likely would have negative impacts to trans folk, as he did in his first term with respect to the military, so it is a set of tradeoffs as to which is worse.   Thoughts?
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Can you dress androgynously? 
    • Ashley0616
    • Abigail Genevieve
      There are trans folk who pass better than some cis people.  People usually aren't on the lookout for those who are cross dressed.  As long as there are no multiple screaming signals and you don't draw attention to yourself you can probably pass better than you think. For example, if you walk into a bank in heels, however, and you DON'T know how to walk in heels, you will attract the attention of a security guard, especially if you are acting nervous. If you wear flats and just go to the bank and do your business like anyone else, it is likely no one will notice, except that there was a customer who was taller than most women are, but then there are tall women, and tall, broad shouldered woman.  I made the mistake years ago of thinking I had outed such, and knew she was a he.  Later I learned she had five kids, and her husband was bigger than she was.  Ooops.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I don't know much about CNAs.  They report to an RN, right?  Can you somehow bring this up to the RN in a way that does not get your CNA mad at you? I'm not saying you should, but maybe that is a good course of action.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      This is the thing.  A month ago tomorrow is when I stopped wearing m clothing.  Today I feel great.  I do not have dysphoria when I am dressed as and I move as a woman.  I was just thinking about that because I was wondering if I would or will get hit with a wave of "you don't have dysphoria so you might as well dress like a guy. Less hassle with your wife."  Not that she is aware, to my knowledge, that these androgynous clothes are women's.  No desire to "flip", no feeling of need to, just happy identifying as female.  Speaking, in my deep guy voice, with female voice patterns, doing the feminine gestures that come naturally and without exaggeration and at peace.
    • Birdie
      Yes, my brother was born lactating due to absorbing hormones from my mum.    Of course she isn't a nurse, she is a CNA. She should however still have general medical knowledge.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I agree.  But sometimes unethical conduct must still be legal, because the cure would be worse than the disease.  One problem we have today with the internet is the trolls can gang up on someone and destroy them - we see the with school bullying as well.   He was in the Southern Baptist Convention, and maybe he should have moved his church over to say the American Baptists, who might have been able to help him. A Southern Baptist pastor is king in his church, peerless, which means he could not have gone for help in his church.  And he could not have gone for help from any other pastor in the SBC because they likely affirm the SBC statements on these matters.  I think he was stuck.    I read this when it came out in the news.  Very sad situation.  
    • Carolyn Marie
      One organization that I know of that is dedicated to assisting LGBT seniors is SAGE.  They advocate for, and have services for, all LGBT folks, not just trans folk.  You can find their website Here.  I am not sure what, if anything, they have in terms of financial assistance.  I'll let you know if I find anything else.   Carolyn Marie
    • Davie
    • VickySGV
      This was an angle that I was very suspicious of as well, and may be the hook on which the settlement was hung.      Not at all strange especially if they had former patients who moved there that still owed money on their bills or they were buying hospital supplies from a Texas corporation. They may have business licenses in other states as well.  Small loss, but saxeT shot itself in the foot there since the license was a source of income to the state. 
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.


Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules


Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.


Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
  • Create New...