Even In "Safe Communities" Be Careful And Aware

[VickySGV]

I get my hair color done by a woman who has a Trans sister who is an entertainer and model here in So. Calif. where we are pretty safe compared to the rest of the world it seems, but even so there are incidents by and to our community to be on the lookout for.  "S" (the sister) was at a Wrap Party for an entertainment event she was in, and had someone slip a drug into the single alcoholic drink she was going to have that night.  Luckily or intentionally, "S" was with friends that know her and love her, and they spotted things happening to her from the effects of the loaded alcohol before the effects became super serious.  One of the friends did carry a legal antidote to drug poisoning that she gave "S" as a First Aid measure, and they were ready to get direct medical aid for her.  The site where this happened is Trans friendly and I go there myself for special parties, often enough that one Bartender knows the lime and tonic water WITHOUT any alcohol in it that I drink (I tip extra for the no hassle service on that) but still someone had nasty ideas of "fun".

 

18 months ago a Trans man friend was not as lucky and was found passed out wedged between a toilet and the wall with a wound in his chest that required medical attention.  He vaguely remembers drinking with one co-worker whom he suspects of drugging him, but cannot prove at the time.  Again, this was at another Club I have also been in for their music and comedy and is Safe for Trans as a whole.  This one did have a down side to it, in that the ER he was taken to would not do a rape-kit test on "A MAN' which at times might be flattering to a Trans Man in a weird way, and since this was in a heavy Gay area, man on man forcible or rape is not a priority with the local police and when they finally took a report at the station two days later, it did not go far.

 

Moral of these stories, it is not just the H8 groups that cause trouble for us.  Even in places we can normally be safe, there is someone to take the safety too far the wrong way, and  start looking like a bunch of Cis people acting badly toward us. BE WATCHFUL, have friends around you.  Do it all to be safe wherever you are. 

[Mmindy]

35 minutes ago, VickySGV said:

BE WATCHFUL, have friends around you.  Do it all to be safe wherever you are. 

Vicky, it's sad that attack on us even in safe places happen.

360° safety, with a wingperson to watch your back is so important.

I'm relieved to here that your hair dresser's sister is okay, and the safety net around her worked.

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

[Carolyn Marie]

Great advice, @VickySGV.  You can never hear it often enough.  Being trans and being around liquor and the party scene is bad for ones health and safety.  I've known several people both here and IRL who had close encounters that they later regretted, or almost so.  This is especially true for trans women who are not yet used to attention from men, and get giddy and lose their common sense as well as their inhibitions when some guy turns on the charm.  What those dudes want is not romance; not even close.  So yes, be vigilant, stay close to good friends, stay away from the bar scene, and don't lose your head.  You could lose more than that.

 

Carolyn Marie

[awkward-yet-sweet]

Good advice.  Never go drinking or partying solo.  Preferably drink from sealed bottles that you open yourself.  Never leave your drink unattended...and better to drink soda than alcohol.  Nothing good happens after midnight.

 

Actually, its good advice for everyone, not just LGBTQ+ folks.  A safe place can be made very unsafe by the wrong person at the wrong place/time.  I found that out the hard way last year.  I thought I was safe on a quick drive to town on a sunny morning.  

 

And even people you know can turn on you.  My GF was drugged a couple of years ago via a tainted drink given by her own sister.  I guess she was trying to get GF to have fun, but it was without consent and way too much.  We nearly lost her.  So if you're with others, it has to be folks who are proven trustworthy and able to make good decisions.