Would physical dysphoria exist if the concept of sex didnt exist/was flipped

[kazoo]

Ive been reading some posts abt "if gender roles and/or the concept of sex didnt exist anymore, would there still be transgender folks?"

 

Now, I understand that gender roles =/= gender identity. However, I think that maybe, I wouldnt be trans anymore if the concept of sex didnt exist. As in, im afab rn, but if my body were to be considered male, would I still wanna transition?

 

For me, physical dysphoria is dysphoria triggered by appearance of the body. Parts of your body that tell you "your gender is x" when you feel your gender is z. Such as, sex characteristics, or voice.

But ive also seen people describing transness in general as "feeling as if your body is different from how it is mapped in the brain". So feeling a disconnect from your body regardless of how its gendered?

 

I totally envy most of male-bodies. When I had sex ED as a kid, my mind would constantly think "oh if my body would look like theirs". And felt uncomfortable knowing I didnt had those parts. I was even dissapointed when I knew hadnt XY chromosomes. Would that mean i just dislike how my body is gendered? Or if there is an actual disconnect between body & brain? So like, would I still envy those (in this reality called) male bodies if they were to be labeled as "female" in this AU? 

 

I know my body is labeled as "female" but the thought of it makes me uncomfortable and thus, would I like to change it. I want my body to be read as more male in this reality. 

 

But would I still feel gender dysphoria if my body as it is now, would be gendered as male? Maybe, maybe not. I dont think I care much about the title "male", i just want a body that would be considered male. I feel like my bottom dysphoria would be mostly gone though, Ideally, id keep my agab down stair parts if the world would just decide theyd be read as male. But things dont work like that, and thus do I feel a need to change it. Im afriad of change so maybe I wouldnt like having bottom growth or bottom surgery yk. 

 

I also feel uncomfortable about my chest, because again, its labeled as female. One time, I saw a guy having a chest like mine and tbh, it really helped reducing my uncomfortable feelings around my chest that day. So, if having a tibbies would be considered male, would I still hate them? Maybe not as much. Id say I still dont exactly expect to have them. Tbh sometimes i even sorta forget about them, and become negatively surprised when I see them again, because its a reminder im still physically female. But even if it wasnt for gender, id prolly still want to get them removed. 

 

Same with voice. My voice is still very female-like. I absolutely do expect to hear a more deeper voice whenever I speak. Its getting repetitive I know, but thats why I wanna change it. Do I get happy if I see other (especially cis) men sharing similar voice? Yeah totally. Would I still hate my voice even if it were to be gendered as male or if I were to be seen as male-aligned regardless? Maybe not? Or would if in this AU were talking abt, my body would be Male, I become MtF?

 

Ive heard/seen trans folks saying theyd feel uncomfortable in their bodies regardless of how it would be gendered. E.g heard a trans woman saying: "even if my down there wouldnt be labeled as male anymore, i still wouldnt be happy". I definitely dont have this in regard to my bottom, though not sure about the rest. 

 

Lastly, if we look at the "if you were to be the last person on earth, would you still wanna change your body?". My answer would be yes. Because, id still view my body as female and thus would it make me uncomfortable. 

 

**So, im just kinda confused by all of this. Am I even experiencing gender dysphoria? Or is there smth else going on?**