Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Seeking The Miracle.....Again


Timber Wolf

Recommended Posts

  • Forum Moderator

Hi Everyone,

 

In 2006, after a major relapse and a stint in rehab, I began my journey in recovery from addiction. After a little over 16 years, that journey came to an abrupt end. I relapsed. I had drifted away from working my program of recovery.  I stopped working the 12 steps, stopped using my sponsor, and stopped attending in person NA meetings. I did attend online meetings, but with no particular recovery program. I guess I thought I was some kind of recovery pro.

 

That was around the end of June, 2022. I soon got up to my old tricks, taking combinations of drugs so that the synergy of the combinations intoxicating affects would be greater that the whole of the drugs. A risky business. I did try to avoid getting back into opioids, but in the end they joined the frey.  At that point my life went from going downhill to stepping off a sheer cliff and going into freefall. I was taking a drug cocktail that more closely resembled a witches brew. Eventually there was no more euphoria. I just got numb and nodded. I hated it, but I couldn't stop. I had passed through the gates of Hell on Earth.

 

Then one weekend my body and mind had reached the end of their rope.  The witches brew I was taking was so toxic, I could feel it killing me inside, like taking poison. I realised my choice was not between using and not using. It was between living and dying. I chose living.

 

I finally had the desperation I needed. I am attending in person recovery meetings again, as well as online meetings. I am keeping my eyes and ears open for a new sponsor and may have a prospect. I have 17 days drug free. I'm still experiencing a couple of withdrawal symptoms, but otherwise am progressing nicely towards really getting well (should be soon).

 

I know I am an addict, because despite the Hell I've gone through, my mind still drifts back to using from time to time. But I have found hope. My white welcome key tag symbolizes my new beginning.

 

My old journey has ended. My new journey has just begun. A new adventure, seeking the miracle.

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf🐾

Link to comment

 

@Timber Wolf, I can tell from what you wrote that you are serious about recovering your life and your soul. Thank you for sharing. Best wishes.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I am so glad you have come back.   While i only know you from our time together on line, here and Zoom meetings, i consider

you a friend.  Any of us can slip.  I have to remember that.  I am powerless.  If i ever pick up, like you, i quickly return to the hell of addiction.  Thank you for being here and sharing your story.

 

Big HUGS

 

Charlize

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
On 5/5/2023 at 6:20 AM, Timber Wolf said:

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf🐾

I have a nephew, battling addiction, and the most important thing I can say to him is I love you.

Link to comment

As the daughter of an alcoholic - one who could never admit the addiction that ultimately killed him - I know how hard making the choice to stop, to live, can be. Just @Mmindy said, saying that you are loved is the most important thing we can say - you are and we are here to wrap our virtual arms around you whenever you need us.

Link to comment
  • Root Admin

We're here for you, Carla. You're a strong person and I'm confident you can beat this. Just keep on keeping on.😘:thumbsup:

Link to comment
  • Admin

You are back, the slip was just that, you are back and what YOU had done before is still with you.  You need to do your own work on this but we will stand by and help you to be you.

Link to comment
  • Admin

We all have Devils that trick us and convince us we are invincible and smarter than they are.  We aren't either thing.  But you know that, Carla.  You are a fighter and a survivor.  Lapses will happen.  It's getting up again after falling that's harder than hell.  I know you can do this.  We'll be here for you all the way.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Keep going Carla. You can do it!

 

Tracy

Link to comment

Hi @Timber Wolf! Glad you're back! TGAA is a room full of wonderful people living life on life's terms, one day at a time. If no one's told you they love you today, & even if they have, "I love you!"

 

Hugs!

Delcina 

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...
  • Forum Moderator

Hi everyone,

 

I've not been around much lately. I've been very busy and I've been focusing on recovery.  I'm now over 37 days clean, all withdrawals have long since past, and I'm starting to really deal with life on life's terms again. Relapses can be very expensive, and I'm still trying to financially recover, and will be for a while.

 

Thank you all for the support. I feel freed from the slavery of active addiction.😊

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf🐾

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Timber Wolf said:

Hi everyone,

 

I've not been around much lately. I've been very busy and I've been focusing on recovery.  I'm now over 37 days clean, all withdrawals have long since past, and I'm starting to really deal with life on life's terms again. Relapses can be very expensive, and I'm still trying to financially recover, and will be for a while.

 

Thank you all for the support. I feel freed from the slavery of active addiction.😊

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf🐾

What tremendous news!!! Just know that our prayers are always with you offering strength and love. 

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
13 hours ago, Timber Wolf said:

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf🐾

It's a real struggle, everyday, day after day. Timber Wolf, you are valued, worthy, and loved.

Your commentary, and thoughtfulness taking time to remember everyone's Birthday.

 

You are Priceless to more than you know.

 

Mindy🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋💖

Link to comment

Bless you @Timber Wolf . You give the best virtual hugs. You'll be in my prayers every day. May your strength be continually fortified and may your own effort inspire steadfastness. Much love. 

Link to comment
  • Root Admin

Carla, you are truly an inspiration to all of us with your will power and resolve. May God bless you and little Gizmo. Our site is the better for you being here. Your postings wishing Happy Birthdays and warm welcomes to new members are priceless. Thank you so much for doing what you do. :)

 

Love and Hugs,

 

MaryEllen

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...
On 5/26/2023 at 2:26 AM, Timber Wolf said:

Hi everyone,

 

I've not been around much lately. I've been very busy and I've been focusing on recovery.  I'm now over 37 days clean, all withdrawals have long since past, and I'm starting to really deal with life on life's terms again. Relapses can be very expensive, and I'm still trying to financially recover, and will be for a while.

 

Thank you all for the support. I feel freed from the slavery of active addiction.😊

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf🐾

 

@Timber Wolf One day at a time! Glad you're here!

 

Hugs!

Delcina 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   2 Members, 0 Anonymous, 86 Guests (See full list)

    • Hannah Renee
    • KathyLauren
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,944
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Melissa_J
    Newest Member
    Melissa_J
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Amyjay
      Amyjay
      (58 years old)
    2. bettyjean
      bettyjean
    3. Breanna
      Breanna
      (52 years old)
    4. Emily Ayla
      Emily Ayla
    5. JET182
      JET182
  • Posts

    • Willow
      Good Friday Morning    I will be spending a good portion of my day at church today.  I don’t know how any of my family would have been with me.  They all passed before I figured myself out.  I often think my mother and sister may have figured it out before I did but maybe it was just my depression that they saw.  I don’t know and never will.  My grandfather Young unconditionally loved me but he passed when I was 9.   Same with my wife’s parents, both gone before.  We’ve never had the greatest relationship with my wife’s brother but we do see them occasionally.  They words and actions aren’t always in sink when it comes to me.   Sour kraut or boil cabbage were never big even with my parents so that was something we were never expected to eat.  Nor was anything with mustard.  My mother hated mustard and it turns my stomach. My wife tried to sneak it into things early in our marriage but I could always tell.  She stopped after a while.   well I wave to go get ready to go to church.  I have a committee meeting at 10 and then we have a Good Friday Service at noon.   Willow
    • Mmindy
      Good morning everyone,   @KymmieLI hope you're misreading your bosses communications. As you say keep plugging a long. Don't give them signs that you're slow quitting, just to collect unemployment.   I have a few things to do business wise, and will be driving to the St. Louis, MO area for two family gatherings.   Have a great day,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • KymmieL
      Good morning everyone, TGIFF   It seems like I am the one keeping or shop from being the best. According to the boss. I don't know if my days are numbered or not. But anymore I am waiting for the axe to fall. Time will tell.   I keep plugging a long.   Kymmie
    • KymmieL
      In the warmer weather, Mine is hitting the road on the bike. Just me, the bike, and the road. Other is it music or working on one of my many projects.   Kymmie
    • LC
      That is wonderful. Congratulations!
    • Heather Shay
      What is relaxation to you? Nature? Movie? Reading? Cuddling with a pet? Music?
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
      Having just a normal emotional day.
    • Heather Shay
      AMUSEMENT The feeling when you encounter something silly, ironic, witty, or absurd, which makes you laugh. You have the urge to be playful and share the joke with others. Similar words: Mirth Amusement is the emotional reaction to humor. This can be something that is intended to be humorous, like when someone tells a good joke or when a friend dresses up in a ridiculous costume. But it can also be something that you find funny that was not intended to be humorous, like when you read a sign with a spelling error that turns it into an ironic pun. For millennia, philosophers and scholars have been attempting to explain what exactly it is that makes something funny. This has led to several different theories. Nowadays, the most widely accepted one is the Incongruity Theory, which states that something is amusing if it violates our standards of how things are supposed to be. For example, Charlie Chaplin-style slapstick is funny because it violates our norms of competence and proper conduct, while Monty Python-style absurdity is funny because it violates reason and logic. However, not every standard or norm violation is necessarily funny. Violations can also evoke confusion, indignation, or shock. An important condition for amusement is that there is a certain psychological distance to the violation. One of the ways to achieve this is captured by the statement ‘comedy is tragedy plus time’. A dreadful mistake today may become a funny story a year from now. But it can also be distant in other ways, for instance, because it happened to someone you do not know, or because it happens in fiction instead of in real life. Amusement also needs a safe and relaxed environment: people who are relaxed and among friends are much more likely to feel amused by something. A violation and sufficient psychological distance are the basic ingredients for amusement, but what any one person find funny will depend on their taste and sense of humor. There are dozens of ‘humor genres’, such as observational comedy, deadpan, toilet humor, and black comedy. Amusement is contagious: in groups, people are more prone to be amused and express their amusement more overtly. People are more likely to share amusement when they are with friends or like-minded people. For these reasons, amusement is often considered a social emotion. It encourages people to engage in social interactions and it promotes social bonding. Many people consider amusement to be good for the body and the soul. By the end of the 20th century, humor and laughter were considered important for mental and physical health, even by psychoneuroimmunology researchers who suggested that emotions influenced immunity. This precipitated the ‘humor and health movement’ among health care providers who believed that humor and laughter help speed recovery, including in patients suffering from cancer1). However, the evidence for health benefits of humor and laughter is less conclusive than commonly believed2. Amusement is a frequent target of regulation: we down-regulate it by shifting our attention to avoid inappropriate laughter, or up-regulate it by focusing on a humorous aspect of a negative situation. Interestingly, amusement that is purposefully up-regulated has been found to have the same beneficial physical and psychological effects as the naturally experienced emotion. Amusement has a few clear expressions that emerge depending on the intensity of the emotion. When people are mildly amused, they tend to smile or chuckle. When amusement intensifies, people laugh out loud and tilt or bob their head. The most extreme bouts of amusement may be accompanied by uncontrollable laughter, tears, and rolling on the floor. Most cultures welcome and endorse amusement. Many people even consider a ‘good sense of humor’ as one of the most desirable characteristics in a partner. At the same time, most cultures have (implicit) rules about what is the right time and place for amusement. For example, displays of amusement may be deemed inappropriate in situations that demand seriousness or solemness, such as at work or during religious rituals.
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • April Marie
      Good morning, everyone!!! Two cups of coffee in the books and I am just feeling so wonderful this morning. Not sure why, but I'm happy and smiling.   Enjoy this beautiful day!!!
    • Heather Shay
      A U.S. dollar bill can be folded approximately 4,000 times in the same place before it will tear. -You cannot snore and dream at the same time. -The average person walks the equivalent of three times around the world in a lifetime. -A hippo’s wide open mouth is big enough to fit a 4-foot-tall child in. -Chewing gum while you cut an onion will help keep you from crying.
    • Susan R
      Love it! This is great news. We need more of this to combat the excessive hate-filled rhetoric and misinformation. 👍
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...