Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Backwards and Forwards


kira_k

Recommended Posts

I've found myself going back and forth about what I'm going to do - I know what I want, but I'm finding it difficult to reconcile how I go about that.

 

I think I've said before on here that I want to present as a woman sometimes, but not always. Sometimes I may feel that I want to dress in a more masculine way and other times in a more feminine way. Other times I feel somewhere in between and want to express that. That means wearing generally male clothing, but maybe with a skirt or women's shoes with just a tshirt and jeans. Inside myself, I feel that I just want to show how I feel and what I am at that time. 

 

What is going through my head all the time now is that when I'm wearing a skirt (for example), but I still have stubble or wearing other men's clothing I'm more likely to stick out and draw more attention to myself. That isn't really what I want and I don't really know how to approach this and be happy at the same time. It always seems to involve compromises so that other people feel better about what I am trying to do. As much as they may find how I dress offensive, it's very hurtful and diminishing for me too - being made to feel that I can't be myself. I know that is society and that things are changing, but still it's very difficult.

What are your thoughts about this and am I making things worse for myself? Has anyone gone through this?

Link to comment

And going further... how on earth do you find someone to love you when you just don't fit in?

It's just really lonely

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I dealt with the issues you describe by doing my best to make it easy for others to accept me.  Unfortunately, for some, that might mean working extra hard to "pass".  In my case i had no desire to be 1/2 and 1/2.  I was finally able to be myself as a woman in society.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

Link to comment
On 5/17/2023 at 11:59 AM, kira_k said:

And going further... how on earth do you find someone to love you when you just don't fit in?

It's just really lonely

I feel for you and relate in many ways. This week, twice, I tried making a brief appearance in public in a skirt (first time for me doing that!).

 

I have medical appointments at a hospital 30 minutes away. I have to wear scrubs for the appointment, but I change afterward in a bathroom and walk about 1/4 mile to my car. I felt so out of place walking to my car in a skirt, especially because I am presenting masculine in just about every other way (except for the girly socks I had on). 

 

I love wearing those skirts, believe me. They are beyond comfortable and pretty. But I just felt like I was only bringing trouble on myself by wearing them in public. I don't know why. Blah. 

 

Today, I wore my favorite pair of ladies' shorts (bright yellow in color) and I felt weird even doing that. It's frustrating that fabric and cuts of material can cause so much angst. And frustrating because I wish I had a more feminine body to fit into those clothes...

 

Hang in there, friend. Just be the best you that you can be. Folks will appreciate that over time...

 

Easy

Link to comment
9 hours ago, EasyE said:

This week, twice, I tried making a brief appearance in public in a skirt (first time for me doing that!).

Hi @EasyE

 

Well done for doing it anyway. It really is hard isn't it and it's hard to get past that feeling that everyone is looking at you.

Even when you know they are not, it's still not a nice feeling. I guess most of it is realising that most people don't actually care.

 

Thank you for the message though, it's a little better going through these things together.

 

Kira x

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   6 Members, 0 Anonymous, 115 Guests (See full list)

    • MaryEllen
    • Hannah Renee
    • Betty K
    • Adrianna Danielle
    • Petra Jane
    • SamC
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,939
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Chaidoesart
    Newest Member
    Chaidoesart
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. **Angela Charlotte **
      **Angela Charlotte **
    2. Carlie
      Carlie
      (63 years old)
    3. Cbxshawn
      Cbxshawn
      (49 years old)
    4. HannahO
      HannahO
      (31 years old)
    5. JustKatie
      JustKatie
      (40 years old)
  • Posts

    • Adrianna Danielle
      Glad to be home and did go out for a walk this morning.Good thing is that went good.Still taking it easy
    • Charlize
      It certainly could be classed as dark humor.  Unfortunately the sentiments alone must hurt young trans folks.  Decency and reality doesn't seem to be in the GOP's vocabulary.   Hugs,   Charlize
    • Mmindy
      Good morning all,    It’s a frosty morning here the lawn looks silvery, and the uncovered spring flowers have icy edges on their leaves. The only flower bed I covered was my tulips. As nice as it is here during the day, our clear wind free nights allow the temperatures to drop into the mid twenties. Here in our growing zone it’s recommended that you not plant delicate plants until Mother’s Day. Central Indiana can have snow as late as the third week of May. The birds are active at the feeders, I’ve had my cup of yoghurt and morning meds. So I’ll sit here, drink coffee and watch the as the sunrise chases the frost from the yard.    @awkward-yet-sweet I could eat black eyed peas as a side for every meal. Boil them plain or with fatback. Served as a leftover, just add in a little Rotel Original Diced Tomatoes & Green Chilies.  Make the best of your day,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋    
    • Mirrabooka
      I hope y'all look at this one. A catchy tune released at the end of Covid lockdown. Scarlett is so cute!!!     
    • Heather Shay
    • Mirrabooka
    • Mirrabooka
      Had a weird dream last night.
    • Mirrabooka
      Morning, y'all. Evening here; we had the regulation three mugs full today. Now it's time to drink something else.     No big plans here either, eldest daughter and granddaughter will be arriving on Saturday, and we will have our granddaughter to ourselves for a week after that. We still have plans though. Tuesday we'll go to the swim center, Wednesday we'll take a road trip to visit my mom, Thursday we'll get some mulch delivered to top up the gardens.   I still make other small plans on a daily basis though. The things I do plan nowadays, which is a bit new for me, is that after pinching a nerve and ending up in a bit of pain and getting some treatment from the physio, I am more motivated than ever to exercise more regularly. Tuesday for example, I went for a short (15 minute) early morning walk, went to the pool for some hydrotherapy, and mowed the lawns. Yesterday I did my exercise reps and spent some time on the exercise bike. Today, I went for a 45-minute walk, tomorrow I will do my reps again and go for a long bike ride. As long as I do at least one thing every day, right? The pleasing thing is that I'm losing weight! I blew out to above 95kg early in the year and I'm just under 91kg now. Yay me!
    • Heather Shay
      What one piece of advice would you give to beginning transitioners or considering transition?
    • Heather Shay
      Positive side of the mixed bag.
    • Heather Shay
      Boredom is an emotional state that comes when a person has nothing to do, and is not interested in anything. To stop boredom, most people do something to occupy or amuse themselves. The first known use of the word boredom is in the novel Bleak House by Charles Dickens, written in 1852, but the saying to be a bore had been used to mean "to be tiresome or dull" since 1768. When referring to the mind, boredom is a bad state in which the person feels a deep lack of interest in what is going on around them, and where it is hard to focus.
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Mirrabooka
      ^ Your story gives inspiration to others.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...