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Should I use the women's restroom?


Birdie

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Quite the dilemma since I have been using the men's room for just about 60 years. 

I have only used the stalls in the men's room because I am intersex and have nothing much to hold onto or point with but was AMAB. Urinals have never worked for me, not only for the optics of it, but it would prove to be quite messy. My body has changed enough now that using the men's room is no longer an option for me. 

My recent growth spurt made my breasts way too noticeable to hide (DD's), and I have just gone with it. I grew my hair out and have travelled across the aisle for my clothes shopping.

I don't need HRT as I have always produced plenty of estrogen without any help, as a result I appear very feminine without dressing the part or makeup.

I am addressed as ma'am everywhere I go even in men's t-shirts and shorts. 

I know that I could walk right into the girl's restroom, and no one would even notice at all. Even my use of the facilities would be standard. The benefit of course would be able to brush my hair and freshen up in front of the mirror including adjusting this horrible underwire bra without making a scene. I would feel better using the facilities of the gender I feel. 

 

In the meanwhile, I have stuck to all-gender facilities, and if they busy patiently waiting. This greatly limits where I can go as well, I really have to research to see if they have facilities available for me before I go, or need to go. Using the women's restroom would sure be much easier on me. 

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Birdie,

 

It sounds to me that you wouldn't have any issues using the ladies room.  Since you are regularly assumed to be female, it just makes sense for you to use female facilities.  The only issue is your own comfort level.  It was very hard for me when I first began presenting as Sally, but now, I don't give a thought to using the ladies room-it's just feels right to be using the bathroom aligned with my persona.

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3 minutes ago, Sally Stone said:

Birdie,

 

It sounds to me that you wouldn't have any issues using the ladies room.  Since you are regularly assumed to be female, it just makes sense for you to use female facilities.  The only issue is your own comfort level.  It was very hard for me when I first began presenting as Sally, but now, I don't give a thought to using the ladies room-it's just feels right to be using the bathroom aligned with my persona.

I'm just afraid I guess. Perhaps I can talk a friend to accompany me there the first few times..🤔

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  • Admin

Back last September I did a monologue during a show put on by The Trans Chorus Of Los Angeles about one of my times using a women's rest room early in my Transition. 

 

I had been "directed away" from a men's RR by a distressed male who thought I was going to use "his" restroom.  I went to the women's RR, and pulled the door open and was scared when I saw a woman coming out directly toward me.  I was ready for HELL to cut loose.  To my utter shock, I was looking at myself in a wall mirror, but clearly the woman I saw was ready to tell me I did not belong there.  That real event though foreshadowed the very uncomfortable fact, that I was ALWAYS in those early days going to be the most judgmental woman about my "being a female". 

I meet people since then who remember the performance who tell me how on point it was for their lives.

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Making those first forays into the ladies room was hard for me and i think it is for everyone.  Going in with a friend helped but eventually i just had to do it.  Today i can't even consider the gents.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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21 minutes ago, Charlize said:

Making those first forays into the ladies room was hard for me and i think it is for everyone.  Going in with a friend helped but eventually i just had to do it.  Today i can't even consider the gents.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

20230529_133658.jpg.58a93333eba14dfb40177ace35dd83cf.jpg

The men's room is off the list for me as well. They don't take kindly to individuals with breasts adjusting their bras in the mirror. 

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At the day center I attend they were having a problem with participants using the all-gender bathrooms and making it impossible to get in.

Today they announced that those bathrooms are off limits and to use either the men's or woman's restroom. 

Then he corrected himself and said, "except for Birdie, those are the only bathrooms available to use".

 

They are doing their best to work around me. 

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I would say it's safe to use the lady's bathroom. I haven't had to go in public yet thank goodness but I dress like a lady. Even with a five o'clock shadow I don't get any stares. I think I'll probably feel just how I did during the first few times of dressing up outside the house. I think as long as you cool, calm and collective no one would even notice.

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I'm not one for makeup other than foundation blush and lip gloss. Yesterday I tried to go all out, and the results were rather comical. I guess I reminded myself why I don't really do makeup. 

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9 hours ago, Ashley0616 said:

I would say it's safe to use the lady's bathroom. I haven't had to go in public yet thank goodness but I dress like a lady. Even with a five o'clock shadow I don't get any stares. I think I'll probably feel just how I did during the first few times of dressing up outside the house. I think as long as you cool, calm and collective no one would even notice.

At the center they know me as intersex AMAB, so using the all-gender restroom will be required of me.

On my next trip to the mall, I might try and use the women's room.  9 times out of 10 strangers address me as a woman when out and about. Not that I look very "Barbie" at all, but my breasts are very noticeable. I pass as "tomboyish". 

I usually wear much more feminine attire when going to the mall because I shop at Torrid and It's easier if the SA just thinks it's another 60-year-old lady clothes shopping. 

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