Emotion of the day

[Heather Shay]

Here are some ways to rejuvenate your emotions:

• Acknowledge your emotions

  Research shows that acknowledging your feelings can reduce the intensity of your emotional reaction. 

   

   
• Sleep well

  Poor sleep can make feelings of sadness, anger, and frustration worse. Getting enough sleep can help you have a more positive outlook. 

   

   
• Exercise

  Exercise can increase dopamine levels in the brain, which can elevate your mood. It can also help you sleep better. 

   

   
• Practice mindfulness

  Mindfulness can help you regulate your emotions, reduce stress, and address anxiety and depression. 

   

   
• Accept the situation

  Accepting the situation can help you process your emotions and move away from negativity. 

   

   
• Control stress

  Learning to control your emotions and stress levels can make you happier and less anxious over time. 

   

   
• Avoid smoking

  Quitting smoking can boost your mental health, reducing depression, anxiety, and stress. 

   

   
• Listen to music

  Uplifting music can increase serotonin levels in the brain, which can boost your mood. 

   

   

Other things you can try include:

• Taking a break
• Counting your blessings
• Finding a trustworthy listener
• Taking a step back
• Seeking out laughter
• Changing your scenery
• Writing it down 

[Heather Shay]

SHOCK

 

Emotional shock is a reaction that you may have to an unexpected event or traumatic incident that upsets you and makes it hard for you to function.

When faced with an intense stressor, you may experience a rush of overwhelming emotions that you aren‘t ready to understand or respond to, which can cause your body to go into a state of shock,1 says Aimee Daramus, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist.

Emotional shock is often part of the fight or flight response, a normal but painful way your brain reacts to something it sees as a threat to your well-being,2 according to Dr. Daramus. When your brain is unable to process the situation, it freezes in an effort to protect your mind and body.

This article explores the causes and symptoms of emotional shock, as well as treatment options and coping strategies.

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Signs of an Emotional Breakdown

Symptoms of Emotional Shock

Emotional shock may be accompanied by a range of physical and emotional symptoms.3

You might feel numb, or cry, or rage. You might just sit there, emotionally unable to move. You might dissociate, and feel like nothing around you is real, or that it‘s actually happening to someone else.

— Aimee Daramus, PsyD

According to Dr. Daramus, the symptoms of emotional shock can include:4

• Denial
• Numbness 
• Disassociation
• Panic
• Anger
• Breathlessness  
• Headache
• Nausea
• Dizziness 
• Lightheadedness 
• Muscle tension
• Increased heart rate
• Tightness in the throat or chest
• Inability to speak or move
• Difficulty rationalizing, thinking, or planning
• Loss of interest in surroundings
• Inability to express emotion

It’s important to note that everyone experiences emotional shock differently. Two people may face the exact same experience and have completely different emotional reactions. This is because experiences are extremely subjective; they are less indicative of the actual event and more indicative of the way a person interprets them.

Causes of Emotional Shock

You may experience emotional shock in the wake of an event that suddenly changes your world. It could be an event that affects you or those close to you, such as your parents, spouse, children, or close friends.

Some of the causes of emotional shock can include:

• Abandonment
• Abuse
• Accident
• Argument
• Breakup
• Crime
• Death
• Divorce
• Domestic abuse
• Financial crisis
• Health diagnosis
• Infidelity 
• Injury
• Job loss
• Natural disaster
• Near death incident
• Racism
• Terrorism
• Violence
• Witnessing a death, accident, crime, or trauma

“Sometimes people may even experience emotional shock about something good, like a dream job or a marriage proposal, if the emotions are too big to handle at the moment. Most of the time, though, it‘s a response to scary or intensely painful events,” says Dr. Daramus.

The Best Online Trauma Therapy, Tried and Tested in 2024

Diagnosing Emotional Shock

People experience emotional shock for varying amounts of time. Depending on its severity and the circumstances, it may dissipate on its own within minutes or may persist for longer. It can lead to acute stress disorder (ASD) or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

If emotional shock persists or causes discomfort, it can be helpful to visit a licensed mental health professional or medical professional. They can assess your symptoms, conduct any physical or psychological tests required, diagnose your condition, evaluate its severity, refer you to a specialist if necessary, and develop a treatment plan for you.

Coping With PTSD

Treatment for Emotional Shock

Emotional shock in the wake of a traumatic event can be treated with therapy, particularly if you develop PTSD. Some of the forms of therapy that can treat PTSD include:

• Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT): ACT can help you experience your emotions and accept them, instead of trying to escape or avoid them.
• Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT): CBT can help challenge unhelpful thought patterns and correct problematic behaviors.5

  American Psychological Association. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) for treatment of PTSD.

• Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT): DBT can help you regulate your emotions and increase mindfulness.
• Exposure therapy (ET): ET involves revisiting the situation and confronting your fears until you have processed the situation and are not scared of it anymore.
• Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): Primarily designed for children and adolescents, TF-CBT can help them process the event and work through their emotional reactions.

[Heather Shay]

Here are some ways to find emotional comfort:

• Share your feelings

  Talking about your feelings can be comforting and can help you get the support you need. 

   

   
• Be respectful

  Treat others with dignity and consideration, and don't judge their thoughts, feelings, or perspective. 

   

   
• Listen without judgment

  Practice active listening, and be patient and respectful. 

   

   
• Practice deep listening

  Deep listening, also known as compassionate listening, is a way to help someone empty their heart. 

   

   
• Show physical affection

  Physical contact can be an important way to be supportive, especially when you're stressed. 

   

   
• Show your support

  Provide comfort and validate the other person's feelings by being empathic, listening, and expressing understanding. 

   

   
• Ask questions

  Show that you're interested in what they have to say, and express love and support as they answer. 

   

   
• Be emotionally available

  Be there for other people without feeling drained. 

   

   

 

[Heather Shay]

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)

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Overview

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1. https://ixbapi.healthwise.net/Resource/14.3/en-us/media/thumbnails/acm6286_media_lib_thumb.jpgEmotional Freedom Technique (EFT): How It Works

 

Emotional freedom technique (EFT) is a method some people use to help manage emotions and troubling thoughts. They may also use it to lower their stress and anxiety. For example, EFT may help calm you if you're feeling angry. Or it may help ease your thoughts if you're worried about something.

EFT is also called tapping. This is because to do EFT, you tap your fingertips on certain points on your hand, head, and torso. The points you tap on for EFT are like those used in acupuncture, Opens dialog.

Experts don't agree on how well EFT works. And it shouldn't replace going to see a health professional for serious issues like depression and trauma.

How to do EFT

You can do EFT, or tapping, whenever you feel upset. You may find that it helps you feel better.

To do EFT, follow these steps.

1. Think of an issue that's bothering you.

   This could be any issue. For example, it could be something you're feeling anxious or sad about.

2. Measure how your issue makes you feel.

   Rate how bad you feel on a scale from 0 to 10. A score of 0 means you don't feel bad at all. But a score of 10 means you feel as bad as possible. Write down this number.

3. Create a statement that describes your issue, followed by a statement of self-acceptance.

   For example, you could say, "Even though I feel anxious about work tomorrow, I deeply and completely accept myself." Or you could say, "Even though my partner broke up with me, I deeply and completely accept myself."

4. Tap repeatedly on the edge of your palm, below your little finger.

   While you tap, say your statement out loud 3 times.

5. Now tap on the rest of the points on your body, one at a time.

   While you tap, state your issue over and over. For example, you might repeat "anxious about test" or "we broke up." Tap on each point in this order.

   1. Tap on the top, center of your head.
   2. Tap on the inside edge of one eyebrow.
   3. Tap next to the outside edge of one eye.
   4. Tap on the bone underneath one eye.
   5. Tap between your nose and your upper lip.
   6. Tap between your lower lip and your chin.
   7. Tap beneath one collarbone (find the notch beneath the inside edge of the collarbone).
   8. Tap under one armpit (about 4 inches below the armpit).
6. Stop and remeasure how you feel about your issue.
7. Repeat the steps if needed.

   Tap until you can give your issue a lower number, or until you feel better.

[rhonda74]

I can relate to emotional shock as a kid while growing up, after the physical assault was over, I guess my mind was not ready to handle the shock overload, and so I froze in a trans-like state of mind. My inner child was broken.

[Heather Shay]

12 mindfulness tips to help you find inner peace

1. Meditate

Despite being a simple act, meditation can profoundly affect your mental state. It helps cultivate equanimity and a deeper sense of peace.

How to meditate? Find a cozy spot away from the hustle and bustle. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and let it out slowly. Don't worry about doing it perfectly; a few minutes can make a big difference. Remember, resources like Calm are here to help. We have hundreds of meditations and programs to support you as you build your meditation practice.

2. Live in the present

How often do you find yourself stuck in the past or feeling anxious about the future? If you’re like the rest of us, probably a lot. But as you know, the present moment is all we truly have. Embrace it, live it. Life unfolds in the now.

How to live in the present? When you’re doing day-to-day tasks like eating, walking, or even doing chores, try to fully immerse yourself in the experience. Notice how your surroundings look, sound, smell, and feel. It's like giving your brain a mini-vacation and the effect induces a sense of inner peace. 

3. Cultivate a positive mindset

Our minds are powerful things. They can act as our greatest ally or our worst enemy. It's all about the way we use them. When we learn to cultivate a positive mindset by focusing on the good, we start to develop our inner peace.

How to cultivate a positive mindset? Kickstart your day on a positive note. Jot down what you're excited about or what you’re grateful for in a journal. If a negative thought tries to sneak in, cross it out and replace it with something positive.

4. Develop love for yourself

Loving others starts with loving ourselves. That’s not always an easy journey. We get it. But when it comes to inner peace, the aim is to learn to appreciate who you are, cherish your strengths, and embrace your flaws. You are uniquely you, and that's something to celebrate.

How to develop love for yourself? Take a moment to write down what you love about yourself. If you hit a speed bump or two, imagine your best friend. What would they say they love about you?

5. Practice self-care

Taking care of our physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing isn't a luxury; it's a necessity. Don't forget to set aside time for yourself every day. Not only do you deserve it, it’s also an important way to cultivate self-love that leads to inner peace. 

How to practice self-care? Schedule in some 'you-time.' Yes, that means put it in the calendar and stick to it! Spend the time on whatever you like — a thrilling novel, a soothing bath, a peaceful walk in nature, or even some relaxing yoga.

https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/57b5ef68c534a5cc06edc769/50a37e80-6b8d-4ec0-8efa-b2620ec38bbb/try-calm-for-free.png

 

6. Visualize a peaceful place

Visualizing a happy or peaceful place engages your mind in a positive and calming way, acting as a form of mental escape from stressors and fostering a sense of inner peace.

How to visualize your peaceful place? Close your eyes and think of a place where you feel utterly at peace. It could be a beach, a forest, or even a memory. What do you see, hear, or smell? When stress starts to creep in, visit this place in your mind.

7. Learn to breathe effectively

Sounds silly, right? But most of us don't use our breath to its full potential. Deep, conscious breathing can have a profoundly calming effect. In moments of stress or anxiety, take a few moments to focus on your breath. You’ll soon notice that you can rely on your breath to cultivate inner peace.

How to breathe effectively? Breathe in, hold, breathe out, hold. Do this at your own pace. This can be your pause button whenever you feel like the world is spinning too fast.

8. Access nature

Nature has a soothing mental effect. Spend some time connecting with nature to instill a sense of peace within. Don’t worry about doing anything too adventurous, you can keep it super simple and still get the benefits.

How to access nature? Stroll in the park, do some gardening, or watch the clouds float by. Nature soundscapes like Yosemite National Park and Sea of Thieves: Shores of Plenty are a great way to bring nature to you.

9. Be grateful

Gratitude can shift your focus from what's missing in your life to what you already have. It’s a fast-track to inner peace. Make a daily habit of noting down things you're grateful for. Focusing on the good stuff can change how we look at our entire day.

How to be grateful? Write down three things that brought you joy today. They could be as simple as a delicious meal or a good laugh.

💙 If you’re struggling to think of anything, try Unwind with Gratitude with Mel Mah.

10. Work on acceptance

Life is full of uncertainties and elements we can't control. Try acknowledging things as they are rather than how you wish they were. That doesn't mean being passive or giving up, but rather recognizing the reality of the situation and working with it rather than against it. 

How to work on acceptance? Next time life throws you a curveball, try to let your feelings come and go without judgment. Sometimes, accepting a situation can take away its power over us.

11. Practice non-judgement

This is about learning to observe your thoughts and emotions without labeling them as 'good' or 'bad.' By practicing non-judgment, you create space for acceptance and inner peace.

How to practice non-judgement? When you catch yourself being judgmental, remember it's just a thought. It'll pass just like a cloud in the sky.

💙 Need a hand? Try Non-Judgment with Tamara Levitt.

12. Foster deeper connections

Cultivate relationships that feed your soul. Spend time with people who uplift you and bring you peace. That doesn't mean you should avoid all challenging relationships but try to have a strong support network of positive and supportive individuals.

How to foster deeper connections? Call up a friend or spend time with family members that make you feel seen and supported. Be present in those interactions. These moments of togetherness can bring us peace in ways we might not realize.

💙 For help with mindful friendships, listen to Meaningful Practice for Meaningful Friendships with Kate Johnson.

Remember, these tips are not a one-size-fits-all solution. Take what resonates with you, experiment, and find your unique path to inner peace. We’re here to help. From guided meditations that help you cultivate equanimity, to soothing soundscapes that transport you to your happy place, to breathing exercises that help you harness the power of your breath - we're with you every step of the way.

[Heather Shay]

Here are some healing thoughts:

• Healing is a process: Healing is about letting go of expectations and beliefs, and becoming who you are. 
   
   
• Forgiveness is important: Practicing forgiveness is important for healing the world. Self-punishment is more destructive than not being able to forgive others. 
   
   
• Be thankful for hard times: Hard times can make you stronger. 
   
   
• You can't stop the waves: You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf. 
   
   
• The wound is where the light enters you: The wound is the place where the light enters you. 
   
   
• The pain passes: The pain passes, but the beauty remains. 
   
   
• You can't heal from a loss until you feel it: You can't truly heal from a loss until you allow yourself to feel it. 
   
   
• Once you choose hope: Once you choose hope, anything's possible. 
   
   
• Faith is being sure: Faith is being sure of what you hope for, and certain of what you do not see. 
   
   
• Some people cannot be cured: Some people cannot be cured, but everyone can heal. 

[Heather Shay]

[Heather Shay]

How to Cultivate Compassion Every Day

 

How to Be More Compassionate at Work

Have you ever dreaded going into work because the people around you were in a negative spiral of energy? We are emotional beings and we can’t help but be affected by the varying moods and interactions we have with others. Life is always changing and this constant change can create difficult thoughts and emotions, which can flow into the workplace. The silver lining is that if we can meet suffering at work with concern and care, compassion naturally arises. Work environments that cultivate compassion create a much more positive and productive place to work.

Compassion in the Workplace:

• Take greater notice of your fellow employees’ psychological well-being. For example: If an employee has experienced a loss, such as a divorce or death in the family, someone should contact that employee within 24-48 hours and offer help. A study in 2012 demonstrated that people who act compassionately are perceived more strongly as leaders and that perceived intelligence (i.e., how clever and knowledgeable the person is) bridges the relationship between compassion and leadership.
• Encourage and display more positive contact among employees. In many workplaces where I consult, there are meeting spaces that can be utilized for informal groups and gatherings. Planned groups can be encouraged weekly or monthly and allow for more opportunities to notice when someone needs help or support and then to offer it.
• Invite more authenticity and open communication in the workplace. If we can keep the communication lines open with respect and kindness, we allow for time to talk about what may need attention and/or empathic connection.
• Take on the perspective of the other person. In other words, this person is “just like me.” This is also known as “cognitive empathy,” or simply knowing how the other person feels and what they might be thinking. This type of empathy can help in negotiating or motivating people to give their best effort.
• Start with self-compassion. In order to truly have compassion for others, we must have compassion for ourselves.

How to Be More Compassionate Through Email

Emailing feels almost like a conversation, but without the emotional signs and social cues of face-to-face interactions. If there’s any challenging content to convey—and if you’re sending an email out to more than one person—it’s easy for problems to arise. Here’s how you can communicate more thoughtfully and compassionately via email.

1. Keep it short and sweet. Using fewer words usually leads to more clarity and greater impact. Your message can easily get lost in the clutter, so keep it simple.
2. Ask yourself—should I say this in person? Some messages are just too touchy, nuanced, or complex to handle by email. You may have to deliver the message in a phone call, where you can read cues and have some give and take. Then, you can follow up with a message that reiterates whatever came out of the conversation.
3. Notice your tone. If there’s emotional content, pay close attention to how the shaping of the words can create a tone. If you have bursts of short sentences, for example, it can sound like you’re being brusque and angry.
4. Consider your role. If there’s a power dynamic (for example, you are writing to somebody who works for you or who reports to you), you need to take into account how that affects the message. A suggestion coming from a superior in an email can easily sound like an order.

A Mindful Emailing Practice

1. Begin by composing an email as usual. Try using the Enter key more. Shorter paragraphs are easier to read on screens.
2. Then stop, and enjoy a long deep breath. Put your hands in front of you and wiggle your fingers to give them a little break. Now, lace your fingers together and place them behind your head. Lean back and give your neck a little rest. Now you’re in a good position for the next step.
3. Think of the person, or people, who are going to receive the message. How are they reacting? How do you want them to react? Do they get what you’re saying? Should you simplify it some? Could they misunderstand you and become angry or offended, or think you’re being more positive than you intend when you’re trying to say no or offer honest feedback?
4. Look the email over again and make some changes if necessary. Notice any spelling or grammar errors you may have missed the first time.
5. Don’t send your email right away. If it’s not time-sensitive, leave it as a draft, compose some other messages or do something else, and then come back to it.
6. Take one last look, and press send.

How to Be More Compassionate When We Speak

Bringing awareness, or mindfulness, to the way we communicate with others has both practical and profound applications. During an important business meeting, or in the middle of a painful argument with our partner, we can train ourselves to recognize when the channel of communication has shut down. We can train ourselves to remain silent instead of blurting out something we’ll later regret. We can notice when we’re over-reacting and need to take a time-out.

We begin practicing mindful communication by simply paying attention to how we open up when we feel emotionally safe, and how we shut down when we feel afraid. Just noticing these patterns without judging them starts to cultivate mindfulness in our communications. Noticing how we open and close puts us in greater control of our conversations.

Practicing mindful communication often brings us face to face with our anxieties about relationships. These anxieties are rooted in much deeper, core fears about ourselves, about our value as human beings. If we are willing to relate to these core fears, each of our relationships can be transformed into a path of self-discovery. Simply being mindful of our open and closed patterns of conversation will increase our awareness and insight. We begin to notice the effect our communication style has on other people. We start to see that our attitude toward a person can blind us to who the person really is.

What Does Compassionate Listening Look Like?

1. The first step is “listening with the whole body.” This means literally tuning in to the person who is speaking.  

“Compassionate” body language includes:

• Turning toward the speaker, not just with your head, but positioning your whole body to face the speaker.
• Open body language, such as arms and legs not crossed (and certainly no distractions, like a cell phone, in your hands!).
• “Approach” signals, such as learning toward, not leaning back from the speaker. This counters our usual instinct to “avoid” or withdraw from suffering, even at the subtle level of body language.

In previous studies, people who felt high levels of compassion spontaneously shifted into this posture. Just assuming this body language can make it easier to make a compassionate connection with someone.

2. The next step is called “soft eye contact.” When it comes to listening, eye contact is usually better than avoiding eye contact. But the most supportive and comfortable eye contact isn’t gazing deeply into a person’s eyes, or staring them down without a break in eye contact. Instead, it’s a soft focus on the triangle created by a person’s eyes and mouth. This allows you to take in the speaker’s full facial expressions. It also includes occasional breaks in eye contact to reduce what can be an uncomfortable intensity.

3. The last step is to offer “connecting gestures.” These gestures let a person know that you are feeling connected to what they are saying. The most appropriate connecting gestures are smiles and head nods, without interrupting the speaker. Connecting gestures encourage a speaker to continue, and often feel more supportive than when the listener jumps in verbally to make comments. When appropriate, touch is an even more powerful connecting gesture. Previous research has shown that people can more easily recognize compassion through touch—such as a comforting hand on your shoulder—than through voice or facial expressions.

How to Add a Healthy Dose of Self-Compassion to Your Meals

A lack of self-compassion closes the door to learning about our habits, patterns, triggers and needs when it comes to food. By adopting a forgiving and curious attitude instead, you can foster a healthy relationship with eating and food and yourself that can open the door to improved health and happiness.

1. Give up black-and-white thinking.

Embrace the fact that healthy eating is flexible and can include a wide variety of foods, some of which are richer than others, such as a pizza. And sometimes the healthier choice may be the richer choice.

For example, which would be a healthier choice at a party: Pizza or salad? The salad is only healthier if that’s what you really want. Otherwise, you might feel deprived and end up overeating later. Enjoying pizza mindfully as part of a celebration allows for the many roles that food plays in our lives. We can often end up feeling satisfied with less when it does.

2. Become aware of how you talk to yourself when eating.

Does a tape start running in your head that admonishes you not to eat too much or not to eat certain types of foods? Or that you’re a failure if you do? Write down what you say to yourself.

3. Write down kind responses to your inner critic.

Have readily available responses that you can “turn on” when you hear yourself starting to go down the familiar road of negative self-talk.

4. Practice those kind responses to yourself.

Every time you hear yourself talking negatively to yourself about your eating, take a moment to be kind to yourself. Try carrying around a small notebook with your new messages to refer to. Remember, the first time you do something differently is the hardest. Every time you do it thereafter, it gets easier.

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[Heather Shay]

• Be kind: Love means that regardless of what someone does to you, you will not strike back in anger. 
   
   

• Be a good listener: The best revenge is massive success. 
   
   

• Be a good learner: The more that you read, the more things you will know. 
   
   

• Be a good dreamer: First, think. Second, believe. Third, dream of coming true. 
   
   

• Be a good fighter: Fight for the things that you care about, but do it in a way that will lead others to join you. 
   
   

• Be a good role model: You can be a rainbow in someone's cloud. 

• Be comfortable in the world: You were meant to be at home and comfortable in the world, and you should let others see that you are comfortable. 
   
   
• Be optimistic: Optimism is a happiness magnet, and positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking. 
   
   
• Be yourself: The only approval you need is your own. 
   
   
• Be grateful: The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate. 
   
   
• Be patient: The struggle you're in today is developing the strength you need tomorrow. 
   
   

[Heather Shay]

We all crave inner peace but what actually is it and how do we find it? We explore mindfulness practices to help you cultivate peace within yourself.

• What is inner peace? 
• What is equanimity?
• 12 mindfulness tips to help you find inner peace
• Inner peace FAQs

Inner peace. It sounds like a pipedream, doesn’t it? How is it possible to find an oasis of calm when our lives have become so busy, stressful, and chaotic? But there are some tips and techniques we can all use to tap into that quieter space within ourselves — a space that feels steady and supportive and accessible. You just have to learn how.

What is inner peace? 

Inner peace is a state of tranquility where you feel at ease with yourself, others, and the world around you. It's about being fully present and comfortable in your skin. less impacted from anxiety, worry, and stress. 

When you experience inner peace, you accept who you are — your strengths, flaws, desires, dreams — everything that makes you uniquely you. You also feel more accepting of the world around you and the situations that are unfolding so you’re less negatively impacted by anxiety, worry, and stress. 

Inner peace is essentially equanimity in action.

What is equanimity?

Finding inner peace isn't about brief respites from stress or moments of relaxation. A state of inner peace can be maintained through equanimity. Equanimity is a skill you can learn which helps you keep a calm and balanced state of mind, regardless of the various ups and downs that life throws your way. So, you’re okay if things are okay but you’re also okay if things aren’t feeling okay. Mindfulness is the key.

Inner peace isn't something you wish for. It's something you make, something you do, and something you are.

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12 mindfulness tips to help you find inner peace

1. Meditate

Despite being a simple act, meditation can profoundly affect your mental state. It helps cultivate equanimity and a deeper sense of peace.

How to meditate? Find a cozy spot away from the hustle and bustle. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and let it out slowly. Don't worry about doing it perfectly; a few minutes can make a big difference. Remember, resources like Calm are here to help. We have hundreds of meditations and programs to support you as you build your meditation practice.

2. Live in the present

How often do you find yourself stuck in the past or feeling anxious about the future? If you’re like the rest of us, probably a lot. But as you know, the present moment is all we truly have. Embrace it, live it. Life unfolds in the now.

How to live in the present? When you’re doing day-to-day tasks like eating, walking, or even doing chores, try to fully immerse yourself in the experience. Notice how your surroundings look, sound, smell, and feel. It's like giving your brain a mini-vacation and the effect induces a sense of inner peace. 

3. Cultivate a positive mindset

Our minds are powerful things. They can act as our greatest ally or our worst enemy. It's all about the way we use them. When we learn to cultivate a positive mindset by focusing on the good, we start to develop our inner peace.

How to cultivate a positive mindset? Kickstart your day on a positive note. Jot down what you're excited about or what you’re grateful for in a journal. If a negative thought tries to sneak in, cross it out and replace it with something positive.

4. Develop love for yourself

Loving others starts with loving ourselves. That’s not always an easy journey. We get it. But when it comes to inner peace, the aim is to learn to appreciate who you are, cherish your strengths, and embrace your flaws. You are uniquely you, and that's something to celebrate.

How to develop love for yourself? Take a moment to write down what you love about yourself. If you hit a speed bump or two, imagine your best friend. What would they say they love about you?

5. Practice self-care

Taking care of our physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing isn't a luxury; it's a necessity. Don't forget to set aside time for yourself every day. Not only do you deserve it, it’s also an important way to cultivate self-love that leads to inner peace. 

How to practice self-care? Schedule in some 'you-time.' Yes, that means put it in the calendar and stick to it! Spend the time on whatever you like — a thrilling novel, a soothing bath, a peaceful walk in nature, or even some relaxing yoga.

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6. Visualize a peaceful place

Visualizing a happy or peaceful place engages your mind in a positive and calming way, acting as a form of mental escape from stressors and fostering a sense of inner peace.

How to visualize your peaceful place? Close your eyes and think of a place where you feel utterly at peace. It could be a beach, a forest, or even a memory. What do you see, hear, or smell? When stress starts to creep in, visit this place in your mind.

7. Learn to breathe effectively

Sounds silly, right? But most of us don't use our breath to its full potential. Deep, conscious breathing can have a profoundly calming effect. In moments of stress or anxiety, take a few moments to focus on your breath. You’ll soon notice that you can rely on your breath to cultivate inner peace.

How to breathe effectively? Breathe in, hold, breathe out, hold. Do this at your own pace. This can be your pause button whenever you feel like the world is spinning too fast.

8. Access nature

Nature has a soothing mental effect. Spend some time connecting with nature to instill a sense of peace within. Don’t worry about doing anything too adventurous, you can keep it super simple and still get the benefits.

How to access nature? Stroll in the park, do some gardening, or watch the clouds float by. Nature soundscapes like Yosemite National Park and Sea of Thieves: Shores of Plenty are a great way to bring nature to you.

9. Be grateful

Gratitude can shift your focus from what's missing in your life to what you already have. It’s a fast-track to inner peace. Make a daily habit of noting down things you're grateful for. Focusing on the good stuff can change how we look at our entire day.

How to be grateful? Write down three things that brought you joy today. They could be as simple as a delicious meal or a good laugh.

💙 If you’re struggling to think of anything, try Unwind with Gratitude with Mel Mah.

10. Work on acceptance

Life is full of uncertainties and elements we can't control. Try acknowledging things as they are rather than how you wish they were. That doesn't mean being passive or giving up, but rather recognizing the reality of the situation and working with it rather than against it. 

How to work on acceptance? Next time life throws you a curveball, try to let your feelings come and go without judgment. Sometimes, accepting a situation can take away its power over us.

11. Practice non-judgement

This is about learning to observe your thoughts and emotions without labeling them as 'good' or 'bad.' By practicing non-judgment, you create space for acceptance and inner peace.

How to practice non-judgement? When you catch yourself being judgmental, remember it's just a thought. It'll pass just like a cloud in the sky.

💙 Need a hand? Try Non-Judgment with Tamara Levitt.

12. Foster deeper connections

Cultivate relationships that feed your soul. Spend time with people who uplift you and bring you peace. That doesn't mean you should avoid all challenging relationships but try to have a strong support network of positive and supportive individuals.

How to foster deeper connections? Call up a friend or spend time with family members that make you feel seen and supported. Be present in those interactions. These moments of togetherness can bring us peace in ways we might not realize.

💙 For help with mindful friendships, listen to Meaningful Practice for Meaningful Friendships with Kate Johnson.

Remember, these tips are not a one-size-fits-all solution. Take what resonates with you, experiment, and find your unique path to inner peace. We’re here to help. From guided meditations that help you cultivate equanimity, to soothing soundscapes that transport you to your happy place, to breathing exercises that help you harness the power of your breath - we're with you every step of the way.

[Heather Shay]

To reassure yourself emotionally, you can try practices like: deep breathing exercises, positive self-talk, engaging in calming activities you enjoy, reminding yourself of past successes, reaching out to a supportive person, practicing mindfulness to acknowledge your feelings without judgment, and engaging in physical self-care like a warm bath or gentle stretching; if your emotions feel overwhelming, consider seeking professional help. 

 

 

Key strategies to reassure yourself:

• Mindfulness techniques:

  • Focus on your breath, noticing each inhale and exhale. 
     
     
  • Observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment. 
     
     
  • Body scan meditation to bring awareness to physical sensations. 
     
     
• Positive self-talk:

  • Repeat encouraging phrases like "I can handle this" or "I am capable". 
     
     
  • Imagine what a supportive friend would say to you in this situation. 
     
     
• Calming activities:

  • Listen to soothing music 
     
     
  • Read a relaxing book 
     
     
  • Spend time in nature 
     
     
  • Take a warm bath 
     
     
  • Gentle stretching or yoga 

[Heather Shay]

[Heather Shay]

[Heather Shay]

Practicing gratitude can be a game-changer: it has far reaching effects, from improving our mental health to boosting our relationships with others. Living your life with gratitude helps you notice the little wins—like the bus showing up right on time, a stranger holding the door for you, or the sun shining through your window when you wake up in the morning. Each of these small moments strings together to create a web of well-being that, over time, strengthens your ability to notice the good.

Kickstart your journey with our free 4-day Gratitude Practice guide, delivering essential insights and guided practices directly to your inbox. Enter your email below to get started.

 

Building your capacity for gratitude isn’t difficult. It just takes practice. The more you can bring your attention to that which you feel grateful for, the more you’ll notice to feel grateful for!

1. Start by observing. Notice the thank yous you say. Just how much of a habitual response is it? Is it a hasty aside, an afterthought? How are you feeling when you express thanks in small transactions? Stressed, uptight, a little absent-minded? Do a quick scan of your body—are you already physically moving on to your next interaction?
2. Pick one interaction a day. When your instinct to say “thanks” arises, stop for a moment and take note. Can you name what you feel grateful for, even beyond the gesture that’s been extended? Then say thank you.

How Do I Practice Gratitude?

 

Robert Emmons, psychology professor and gratitude researcher at the University of California, Davis, explains that there are two key components of practicing gratitude:

1. We affirm the good things we’ve received
2. We acknowledge the role other people play in providing our lives with goodness

Most of us know it’s important to express thanks to the people who help us, or silently acknowledge the things we are grateful for in life. Research has linked gratitude with a wide range of benefits, including strengthening your immune system and improving sleep patterns, feeling optimistic and experiencing more joy and pleasure, being more helpful and generous, and feeling less lonely and isolated. 

Interested in reaping some of these benefits? Get started with a gratitude practice.

[Heather Shay]

Here are some cheerful thoughts and quotes:

• Be the best of who you are: Martin Luther King, Jr. said, "Be the best of whatever you are". 
   
   

• Pursue your dreams: Have the courage to pursue your dreams. 
   
   

• Strive to be better: Make yourself your own competition and strive to be better than yesterday. 
   
   

• You are stronger than you think: You are smarter, braver, and much stronger than you think. 
   
   

• Happiness is within: Aristotle said, "Happiness depends upon ourselves". We are responsible for our own happiness, not others. 
   
   
• Be the creator of your own happiness: Abraham Lincoln is often credited with saying, "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be". 
   
   
• Find the good side of life: Jimmy Buffett said, "It takes no more time to see the good side of life than to see the bad". 
   
   
• Laughter is contagious: Charles Dickens said, "Nothing in the world is as contagious as laughter and good humor". 
   
   
• Cheer yourself up by cheering others up: Mark Twain said, "The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up". 
   
   

 

[Heather Shay]

"Even on the darkest days, the memory of a single, radiant moment can illuminate your path forward, reminding you that beauty and hope still exist."

Explanation: This thought captures the idea that even when life feels challenging, holding onto positive memories can provide strength and a sense of optimism, highlighting the resilience of the human spirit.

 

 

[Heather Shay]

Emotional healing is the process of acknowledging, accepting, and processing painful emotions and life experiences. It can take time, and it will look different for everyone. Some tips for emotional healing include: 

 

 

• Exercise: Physical activity can help you cope with anger. 
   
   

• Reach out for support: Lean on your support network. 
   
   

• Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with the same care and compassion you would show someone else in a similar situation. 
   
   
• Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness techniques like meditation, deep breathing, and body scans can help you become more aware of your emotions and thought patterns. 
   
   
• Prioritize self-care: Pay attention to your feelings and physical sensations, and take time to listen to what your body needs. 
   
   
• Find a creative outlet: Express your emotions through a creative outlet. 
   
   

Other tips for emotional healing include: Adopting healthy coping mechanisms, Acknowledging your progress, Creating healthy habits and lifestyle, and Exploring grounding techniques. 

 

 

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If you or someone you know is struggling or having thoughts of suicide, you can call or text the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org. You can also call the Substance Abuse and Mental Health (SAMHSA) National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357. 

[Heather Shay]

[Heather Shay]

Relaxation techniques: Try these steps to lower stress

Relaxation techniques can lower stress symptoms and help you enjoy a better quality of life, especially if you have an illness. Explore relaxation techniques you can do by yourself.

By Mayo Clinic Staff

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Relaxation techniques are a great way to help with stress management. Relaxation isn't only about peace of mind or enjoying a hobby. It's a process that lessens the stress effects on your mind and body. Using ways to relax can help you cope with everyday stress. And these options can help with long-term stress or stress related to many health problems, such as heart disease and pain.

 

Whether your stress is out of control or you've already got it tamed, you can benefit from relaxation techniques. Learning basic relaxation techniques is easy. Relaxation techniques are often free or low cost and pose little risk. And they can be done anywhere.

Find simple ways to relax and get started on de-stressing your life and improving your health and overall well-being.

The benefits of relaxation techniques

 

When faced with everyday jobs and tasks or the demands of an illness, relaxation techniques may not be a main concern in your life. But that means you might miss out on how relaxation can benefit your health.

Relaxation techniques can:

• Slow heart rate.
• Lower blood pressure.
• Slow breathing rate.
• Improve digestion.
• Control blood sugar levels.
• Lessen activity of stress hormones.
• Increase blood flow to major muscles.
• Ease muscle tension and chronic pain.
• Improve focus and mood.
• Improve sleep quality.
• Lower fatigue.
• Lessen anger and frustration.
• Boost confidence to handle problems.

 

To get the most benefit, use relaxation techniques along with these other positive coping methods:

• Think positively.
• Find humor.
• Solve problems.
• Manage time and priorities.
• Exercise regularly.
• Eat a healthy diet.
• Get enough sleep.
• Spend time outside.
• Reach out to supportive family and friends.

Types of relaxation techniques

 

Complementary and integrative health specialists, mental health professionals and other healthcare professionals can teach many relaxation techniques. But you also can learn some on your own.

Relaxation techniques generally involve focus and awareness. You focus your attention on something that is calming and raise awareness of your body. It doesn't matter which technique you use. What matters is that you find ways to relax to gain the benefits.

 

Relaxation techniques include:

• Autogenic relaxation. Autogenic means something that comes from within you. In this relaxation activity, you use both visual imagery and body awareness to lower stress.

  You repeat words or suggestions in your mind that may help you relax and lessen muscle tension. For example, you may imagine a peaceful setting. Then you can focus on relaxing your breathing or slowing your heart rate. Or you may feel different physical senses, such as relaxing each arm or leg one by one.

• Progressive muscle relaxation. In progressive muscle relaxation, you focus on slowly tensing and then relaxing each muscle group.

  This can help you focus on the difference between muscle tension and relaxation. You can become more aware of physical sensations.

  In one type of progressive muscle relaxation, you start to tense and relax the muscles in your toes. You gradually work your way up to your neck and head. This is best done in a quiet area without interruptions. You also can start with your head and neck and work down to your toes. Tense your muscles for about five seconds and then relax for 30 seconds, and repeat.

• Visualization. In visualization, you may form mental pictures to take a visual journey to a peaceful, calming place or situation.

  To relax using visualization, try to use as many senses as you can, such as smell, sight, sound and touch. If you imagine relaxing at the ocean, think about the salt water's smell, the sound of crashing waves and the feel of the warm sun on your body.

  You may want to close your eyes and sit in a quiet spot. Loosen any tight clothing and focus on your breathing. Aim to focus on the present and think positive thoughts.

Other relaxation techniques may include:

• Deep breathing.
• Massage.
• Meditation.
• Tai chi.
• Yoga.
• Biofeedback.
• Music and art therapy.
• Aromatherapy.
• Hydrotherapy.

Relaxation techniques take practice

 

As you learn relaxation techniques, you can become more aware of muscle tension and other physical ways your body reacts to stress. Once you know what the stress response feels like, you can try to do a relaxation technique as soon as you start to feel stress symptoms. This can prevent stress from getting out of control and lowering your quality of life.

 

Remember that relaxation techniques are skills. As with any skill, your ability to relax improves with practice. Be patient with yourself. Don't let your effort to try relaxation techniques become yet another stressor.

If one relaxation technique doesn't work for you, try another one. If none of your efforts at lessening your stress seems to work, talk to your healthcare professional about other options.

Also, remember that some people, especially those with serious mental health issues and a history of abuse or trauma, may have feelings of emotional discomfort during some relaxation techniques. Although this is rare, if you have emotional discomfort during relaxation techniques, stop what you're doing. Talk to your healthcare professional or a mental health professional.

[Heather Shay]

Here are some quotes about strength and resilience that can help you gain strength:

• React to adversity: "It's your reaction to adversity, not adversity itself that determines how your life's story will develop". 
   
   
• Get back up: "Do not judge me by my success, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again". 
   
   
• Face your fears: "Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing". 
   
   
• Growth comes from struggle: "Strength and growth come only through continuous effort and struggle". 
   
   
• Look fear in the face: "You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face". 
   
   
• Conquer yourself: "Conquering others is power; conquering oneself is strength". 
   
   
• Believe in yourself: "He who believes is strong; he who doubts is weak. Strong convictions precede great actions". 
   
   
• Have a clear vision: "When you have a clear vision of your goal, it's easier to take the first step toward it". 
   
   
• Be patient: "Remember to be patient with yourself as you embark on this new journey". 
   
   
• Find a form of exercise: "It's essential to find a form of exercise that fits into your individual lifestyle". 

[Heather Shay]

Here are some thoughts about inner peace:

• Understanding

  "Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding". This quote by Albert Einstein suggests that choosing peace involves valuing understanding and open dialogue. 

   

   

   
• Meditation

  Meditation can help cultivate a deeper sense of peace and equanimity. To meditate, you can find a quiet place, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and slowly release it. 

   

   

   
• Affirmations

  You can try repeating affirmations like "I am grounded, peaceful, and centered" or "I breathe in calmness and exhale stress". 

   

   

   
• Inner peace is within you

  "Nobody can bring you peace but yourself" is a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson. 

   

   

   
• Don't let others control your emotions

  "Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace" is a quote by the Dalai Lama. 

   

   

   
• Peace is in the present

  "If you are depressed you are living in the past if you are anxious you are living in the future, if you are at peace, you are living in the present" is a quote by Lao Tzu.

[Heather Shay]

Here are some ways to develop warming emotions:

• Be around loved ones: Spend time with close friends and family. 
   
   
   
• Create a cozy environment: Surround yourself with a warm and comfortable home or a crackling fire. 
   
   
   
• Help someone: Feel a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction by helping someone in need. 
   
   
   
• Experience intimacy: Have a moment of deep connection or intimacy with another person. 
   
   
   
• Practice mindfulness: Try meditation and deep breathing to improve your emotional regulation skills. 
   
   
   
• Develop coping mechanisms: Exercise, hobbies, and social support can help you develop healthy coping mechanisms. 
   
   
   
• Practice self-compassion: Acknowledge your full humanity, including all of your feelings, flaws, and weaknesses. 
   
   
   

Suppressing your emotions can lead to mental health issues like anxiety, depression, and panic attacks. 

[Heather Shay]

Emotional tranquility is a state of being free from stress, anxiety, and agitation. It can also be a state of mind that is associated with feelings of gratitude, mindfulness, and acceptance. 

 

Some situations that may lead to emotional tranquility include:

• Being in nature
• Engaging in a calming activity, like yoga or meditation
• Having a quiet moment alone
• Completing a challenging task or achieving a long-term goal
• Resolving a conflict or reaching a compromise with someone
• Feeling a sense of safety and security in one's environment or relationships 

[Heather Shay]

"Even in the darkest of moments, remember that pain is a sign you are still alive, and that with time, even the deepest wounds can heal; allow yourself to feel, and reach out for support when needed." 

 

Key points:

• Acknowledge your pain: It's okay to feel your emotions, even if they are painful. 
   
• Pain is temporary: While difficult, emotions like sadness and grief are not permanent. 
   
• Seek support: Don't hesitate to reach out to friends, family, or professionals for help. 
   
• Healing takes time: Be patient with yourself as you navigate through challenging emotions.