I need help dealing with hip dysphoria

[Mason26]

Hello. I'm FtM pre-everything and having a hard time with my hip dysphoria. It's one of the worst ones for me because they're hard to hide and there's no hope of getting rid of them someday like there is with chest, voice, etc. dysphoria. I'm sure T could help a little bit, but it's still mostly bone, so I'm stuck with them. What's the best kind of pants/jeans to wear? How did other trans guys get to feel better about their hips? Am I maybe overestimating how big they are? Do you know of any cis men with prominent hips? Maybe that's a bad question to ask, but it really does help me with my dysphoria. Thanks in advance.

[Birdie]

I don't hide mine anymore, but I did for many years. 

 

I took testosterone in my teens prescribed by a doctor because puberty sent me a different direction than my assigned birth gender. The T slowed down things, but didn't stop it (in my case). 

 

I found though the years that sweatpants and overalls were my best friends. Also baggy shirts tend to drape over breasts and hips making them appear smaller (but also makes you look thicker). 

 

Keep in mind that men's and women's attire has a different "cut", and men's clothes are made to "not" accentuate the curves. 

Women's clothing is designed to follow our curves. 

 

I did binding on my chest, but I have sensitive skin and couldn't keep that up very long due to heat rashes. 

[Mason26]

2 hours ago, Birdie said:

I don't hide mine anymore, but I did for many years. 

 

I took testosterone in my teens prescribed by a doctor because puberty sent me a different direction than my assigned birth gender. The T slowed down things, but didn't stop it (in my case). 

 

I found though the years that sweatpants and overalls were my best friends. Also baggy shirts tend to drape over breasts and hips making them appear smaller (but also makes you look thicker). 

 

Keep in mind that men's and women's attire has a different "cut", and men's clothes are made to "not" accentuate the curves. 

Women's clothing is designed to follow our curves. 

 

I did binding on my chest, but I have sensitive skin and couldn't keep that up very long due to heat rashes. 

I've found that with sweatpants, too. I should get some more. Any suggestions on jean cuts?

And I always wear baggy mens clothes, not even just because of the dysphoria, but because I'm very sensitive to tight clothes, too. I always hated wearing women's clothes for both those reasons, so men's stuff is win-win, haha.

I haven't tried binding yet, but I'm not sure if I'll even be able to handle it because of said sensory problems. I imagine I might have the same problem you did.

Thank you for your reply!

[Birdie]

4 minutes ago, Mason26 said:

I've found that with sweatpants, too. I should get some more. Any suggestions on jean cuts?

And I always wear baggy mens clothes, not even just because of the dysphoria, but because I'm very sensitive to tight clothes, too. I always hated wearing women's clothes for both those reasons, so men's stuff is win-win, haha.

I haven't tried binding yet, but I'm not sure if I'll even be able to handle it because of said sensory problems. I imagine I might have the same problem you did.

Thank you for your reply!

Levi's 501's jeans are a favorite. They are very straight cut jeans that tend not to follow our curves. 

I would stay away from Wrangler jeans because it's more of a stretching denim. 

[Mason26]

34 minutes ago, Birdie said:

Levi's 501's jeans are a favorite. They are very straight cut jeans that tend not to follow our curves. 

I would stay away from Wrangler jeans because it's more of a stretching denim. 

I looked them up, good choice! I definitely prefer the less stretchy materials comfort-wise, and I'm sure that'll help with the curves as well.

[Birdie]

3 hours ago, Mason26 said:

I always hated wearing women's clothes for both those reasons, so men's stuff is win-win, haha.

Here is a picture of me just starting puberty. 

I would wear a T-shirt under a polo shirt, and slightly lean forward. 

I think I was just barely an A cup back then, and not really noticeable. 

 

The cut in men's polo shirts ride right past your waist making it disappear. 

[awkward-yet-sweet]

If you're wanting to avoid looking curvy, you might to well to look "stocky."  If you're starting out with a traditionally-hourglassy female figure, there's a bow inward above the hips.  That's what makes hips look prominent.  So, fill that part in.  Here's a couple of ideas:

 

1.  For starters, wear jackets.  Jackets make the sides look straight if they aren't tailored.  A good unisex choice is a military "BDU" jacket.  They come in solid colors if camo isn't your thing, although camouflage is traditionally masculine and has the added effect of making curvy things disappear.  Look at something like this: 

https://www.amazon.com/Rothco-Bdu-Shirt-Olive-Large/dp/B000KCY9EQ/ref=sr_1_2?crid=3M3Y00FV37Q5U&keywords=rothco+bdu&qid=1694402834&sprefix=rothco+bdu%2Caps%2C200&sr=8-2

 

2.  Shoulder holster.  Wear under a jacket or shirt.  Works well if you carry a pistol (probably not something you'd do in Canada), but you can also adapt one to carry a phone.  Straps go over your shoulders, and hook to the belt on your pants.  Helps to hold pants up, and whatever you're carrying that hangs on your side between shoulders and hips fills in those curvy gaps. 

 

3.  Shapewear.  AKA "girdle."  Thing of a big elastic band around your middle,  most folks use it for thinning their look, but if you stuff it on the sides it will thicken you a bit and get rid of the hourglassy look. 

[Birdie]

@Awkward-yet-sweet has another great shopping point. Army surplus stores are a great place to find clothes that "mask" our curves. 

[Vidanjali]

16 hours ago, Mason26 said:

Am I maybe overestimating how big they are?

 

That's a great question. We're our own worst critics. Add dysphoria or dysmorphia and it's quite likely the offending quality seems far more exaggerated to us than anyone viewing us objectively. None of that is meant to invalidate your feelings or experience. It's just a good thing to keep in mind which may help soothe the discomfort - even a tiny bit helps. 

 

16 hours ago, Mason26 said:

Do you know of any cis men with prominent hips?

 

OMG yes. My husband who's a cisman has big ol hips and booty. It's actually very difficult for him to find pants that fit. He also has a bit of a belly and broad shoulders, so his lower body alone does not make his physique appear anything resembling a hourglass, but he could be a figure in a Rubenesque painting, lol. I've done a few deep dives on how to find comfortable pants for him. What I discovered is that pants cut for "athletic" build usually allow for more developed glutes and thighs. Given that, this sort of cut may also distract from girth of hips.

 

And speaking of athletic, consider developing an exercise routine to build your shoulders and obliques (sides of abdominal). This may help to even out your proportions in the way of "catching up" so to speak to the hip width. 

[Mason26]

10 hours ago, Birdie said:

Here is a picture of me just starting puberty. 

I would wear a T-shirt under a polo shirt, and slightly lean forward. 

I think I was just barely an A cup back then, and not really noticeable. 

 

The cut in men's polo shirts ride right past your waist making it disappear. 

Huh, I've never worn any polo shirts before, that's very interesting! I usually wear T-shirts with a sweater/flannel on top if it's cool enough. I'm guessing polo shirts have stiffer material?

[Birdie]

Just now, Mason26 said:

Huh, I've never worn any polo shirts before, that's very interesting! I usually wear T-shirts with a sweater/flannel on top if it's cool enough. I'm guessing polo shirts have stiffer material?

Yes, it's a bit stiffer on most of them. 

[Mason26]

10 hours ago, awkward-yet-sweet said:

If you're wanting to avoid looking curvy, you might to well to look "stocky."  If you're starting out with a traditionally-hourglassy female figure, there's a bow inward above the hips.  That's what makes hips look prominent.  So, fill that part in.  Here's a couple of ideas:

Lots of good tips, thanks!

10 hours ago, awkward-yet-sweet said:

 

1.  For starters, wear jackets.  Jackets make the sides look straight if they aren't tailored.  A good unisex choice is a military "BDU" jacket.  They come in solid colors if camo isn't your thing, although camouflage is traditionally masculine and has the added effect of making curvy things disappear.  Look at something like this: 

https://www.amazon.com/Rothco-Bdu-Shirt-Olive-Large/dp/B000KCY9EQ/ref=sr_1_2?crid=3M3Y00FV37Q5U&keywords=rothco+bdu&qid=1694402834&sprefix=rothco+bdu%2Caps%2C200&sr=8-2

I love wearing jackets. I'm so happy it's finally cold enough to do that again, haha. I usually wear jean jackets, but I do like the one you linked. Could be good for outdoorsy stuff.

10 hours ago, awkward-yet-sweet said:

2.  Shoulder holster.  Wear under a jacket or shirt.  Works well if you carry a pistol (probably not something you'd do in Canada), but you can also adapt one to carry a phone.  Straps go over your shoulders, and hook to the belt on your pants.  Helps to hold pants up, and whatever you're carrying that hangs on your side between shoulders and hips fills in those curvy gaps. 

That's a very interesting idea that I bet would work well, but seeing as I don't carry a gun I'm not sure that's something I'd feel comfortable wearing. As Birdie mentioned though, maybe suspenders would be useful?

10 hours ago, awkward-yet-sweet said:

 

3.  Shapewear.  AKA "girdle."  Thing of a big elastic band around your middle,  most folks use it for thinning their look, but if you stuff it on the sides it will thicken you a bit and get rid of the hourglassy look. 

I definitely have to look into this one. I wonder if there's anything I could use as a makeshift option.

[Mason26]

25 minutes ago, Vidanjali said:

 

That's a great question. We're our own worst critics. Add dysphoria or dysmorphia and it's quite likely the offending quality seems far more exaggerated to us than anyone viewing us objectively. None of that is meant to invalidate your feelings or experience. It's just a good thing to keep in mind which may help soothe the discomfort - even a tiny bit helps. 

You're probably right. It's nice to hear someone say that, so thank you.

25 minutes ago, Vidanjali said:

OMG yes. My husband who's a cisman has big ol hips and booty. It's actually very difficult for him to find pants that fit. He also has a bit of a belly and broad shoulders, so his lower body alone does not make his physique appear anything resembling a hourglass, but he could be a figure in a Rubenesque painting, lol. I've done a few deep dives on how to find comfortable pants for him. What I discovered is that pants cut for "athletic" build usually allow for more developed glutes and thighs. Given that, this sort of cut may also distract from girth of hips.

It's easy to forget that there are men who have that body type (and that many people find it attractive!). I find movies and TV tend to show men with pretty "ideal" bodies, and that can mean a lot of men with no hips (I mean they obviously do have hips, just not big ones, haha). I know, I know, comparing yourself to others ESPECIALLY guys on TV is not great for anyone. There are some situations where it can help though, like "This guy is the same height/shorter than me, and he looks pretty cool." Maybe not the best way to deal with stuff, but I need something to keep me happy pre-T, haha.

I have heard of athletic pants being a good fit for trans guys, but I haven't had a chance to try any out myself yet. It's hard to find jeans that aren't so body hugging for a good price.

25 minutes ago, Vidanjali said:

And speaking of athletic, consider developing an exercise routine to build your shoulders and obliques (sides of abdominal). This may help to even out your proportions in the way of "catching up" so to speak to the hip width. 

At the moment, I've been mostly focused on cycling, which maybe doesn't fill things out the way I'd like, haha, but I want to enjoy the fresh air before it gets too cold. I'll definitely be more focused on weights once winter hits. Also I'm grateful I have fairly broad shoulders already, but they could use some work.

[Mason26]

22 minutes ago, Birdie said:

Yes, it's a bit stiffer on most of them. 

Very interesting! Might have to try them out.

[Ivy]

1 hour ago, Vidanjali said:

We're our own worst critics. Add dysphoria or dysmorphia and it's quite likely the offending quality seems far more exaggerated to us than anyone viewing us objectively.

This goes for MtF as well.

[Jet McCartney]

On 9/10/2023 at 2:40 PM, Mason26 said:

Hello. I'm FtM pre-everything and having a hard time with my hip dysphoria. It's one of the worst ones for me because they're hard to hide and there's no hope of getting rid of them someday like there is with chest, voice, etc. dysphoria. I'm sure T could help a little bit, but it's still mostly bone, so I'm stuck with them. What's the best kind of pants/jeans to wear? How did other trans guys get to feel better about their hips? Am I maybe overestimating how big they are? Do you know of any cis men with prominent hips? Maybe that's a bad question to ask, but it really does help me with my dysphoria. Thanks in advance.

This advice highly depends on your style and how comfortable you are with more fitted clothes, but I've found that Dickies 874 Work trousers hide my hips the best. They have an old-fashioned straight cut, that, (at least for me) hides my hips incredibly well. 

 

I've also noticed that thick fabrics over loose ones work better, because they shape the body, instead of the body shaping the clothes. 

 

(I used to wear nothing but joggers, but I found that the thin fabric clung to my body, creating even more dysphoria. Whereas my work pants are made of very stiff cotton/denim. It's more difficult for my body to "spill out" of a hard fabric.)

 

I'm decently thin, but they way I dress makes me appear a-lot heavier than I am, because I want to look boxy instead of curvy. 

 

Wearing straight-cut jackets can really help as well, as they'll disguise the hips. 

[Mason26]

On 9/27/2023 at 12:19 PM, Jet McCartney said:

This advice highly depends on your style and how comfortable you are with more fitted clothes, but I've found that Dickies 874 Work trousers hide my hips the best. They have an old-fashioned straight cut, that, (at least for me) hides my hips incredibly well. 

 

I've also noticed that thick fabrics over loose ones work better, because they shape the body, instead of the body shaping the clothes. 

 

(I used to wear nothing but joggers, but I found that the thin fabric clung to my body, creating even more dysphoria. Whereas my work pants are made of very stiff cotton/denim. It's more difficult for my body to "spill out" of a hard fabric.)

 

I'm decently thin, but they way I dress makes me appear a-lot heavier than I am, because I want to look boxy instead of curvy. 

 

Wearing straight-cut jackets can really help as well, as they'll disguise the hips. 

Thanks for the advice! I'm pretty thin, too, so a lot of this applies. I'm constantly battling between choosing physical comfort or emotional comfort. Still trying to find that happy medium.

 

I too prefer thicker fabrics. I have some T-shirts I really like that are the softer kind of material, which is comfortable, but they make me too dysphoric if I'm not wearing a jacket/flannel over them. Stiff T-shirts are the best for that. They seem to last longer, too.

 

I'll keep my eyes open for pants like that. It's hard lately to find anything that isn't skinny jeans. I was thinking cargo pants could be a good option, too. I want ones that are boot cut or straight cut, but it seems like they all have that scrunched bottom thing, which I'm not a fan of for myself.

[Ashley0616]

You could use Jnco jeans. They are huge and will hide anything. Heck I was rocking those out in high school and didn't need a backpack lol.

[Jet McCartney]

1 hour ago, Mason26 said:

Thanks for the advice! I'm pretty thin, too, so a lot of this applies. I'm constantly battling between choosing physical comfort or emotional comfort. Still trying to find that happy medium.

 

I too prefer thicker fabrics. I have some T-shirts I really like that are the softer kind of material, which is comfortable, but they make me too dysphoric if I'm not wearing a jacket/flannel over them. Stiff T-shirts are the best for that. They seem to last longer, too.

 

I'll keep my eyes open for pants like that. It's hard lately to find anything that isn't skinny jeans. I was thinking cargo pants could be a good option, too. I want ones that are boot cut or straight cut, but it seems like they all have that scrunched bottom thing, which I'm not a fan of for myself.

Gosh I understand the comfort thing. It's taken me a while but I finally found a happy medium, I'm sure you will as well.

.

If you want cargo pants without the scrunched bottom, I'd look at pants from the 90s. I'm pretty sure they had a vendetta against fabric touching ankles

.

My very favourite brand of pants are no longer in business, but Dickies brand is a very close approximation. They have a lot of both boot-cut and straight-cut options. 

 

I hope you can find something!

[Ashley0616]

Heck I wished I had that. I would trade