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Guest With Faith Or Flames

I had a previous post about me developing a problem with weed before. Well it turns out I was right and it has gotten worse. Its all I can think about even though I haven't done it often. I don't know what 2 do. On father's day I ditched my dad because my parents were mad at me to get high. I've even come home high twice. A few days ago I think I did some weed laced with cocaine and I didn't know so I've been suffering the after affects of that until today and even though it scared me and was really bad I still wanna do weed. I think I do it to escape reality because of my gender identity issues I try my best to supress. Im on antidepressants but I only feel happy when im high. Should I seek out some kind of help? I don't know what to do.

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Guest Elizabeth K

Weed was once a fairly mild addiction but now people lace it with other drugs and worse. It is also organically reinforced - plus it is now very addictive and expensive.

If you have to get high - stay way from drugs. How is that possible? Try other means to get the stress out - running untill you drop - exercising - playing music, anything to get high on living.

I know - terrible advice! But understand, weed is a crutch. With all the real problems you have being gender dysphoric you don't need an addiction on top of it all.

My opinion

Lizzy

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Guest julia_d

Best reason in the world to stay away from the stuff... look at the walking disaster areas you have to buy it from.. that should be enough.. don't want to end up like them do we? I sold the crap for 9 years.. and stopped smoking it myself sometime during that because of the constant stream of messed up people I had to deal with on a daily basis.. Look at that guy shouting incoherent abuse at the stop sign.. he probably started off on weed..

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Let's over look the legalities and even the addictions part and look at why you tried it in the first place.

You were depressed, when you came back down from your high were you any happier?

I didn't think so.

People will tell you that weed isn't as bad as a lot of other things but let's look at 'not as bad'.

OK, no needles - that's good, you don't stuff it up your nose - that's good, you smoke it - that's bad.

The human lungs were not designed to inhale smoke - most people who die in fires actually die from smoke infalation, then the next largest group is from burning the lungs with the superheated air and finally the smallext group are consumed by flames.

Why do you want to damage your lungs, it isn't just tart that does damage it is the hot smoe - you move away from the smoke around a campfire and it is at lest 6 feet further away than the weed.

Nothing that puts smoke in your lungs is good for you.

A word to the wise.

Love ya,

Sally

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Guest Leigh

weed doesn't have any addictive properties. it's all psychological. that can mean that it's easier to stop (for some people). but if you really think it's a problem, and are afraid that you have smoked something that was laced, you should at the least talk to your GP or therapist.

good luck.

peace&love

leigh

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i can not offer much advice cus when i was 16/17 i had the same problem

got as bad as smoking it in my own garden, spending all my money on it

i started gettin real paranoid and kept hearing voice, i was developin a drug induced schizophrenia

i got out the habbit by a friend helping me

but its not worth the money or your health

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Guest Elizabeth K
weed doesn't have any addictive properties. it's all psychological. that can mean that it's easier to stop (for some people). but if you really think it's a problem, and are afraid that you have smoked something that was laced, you should at the least talk to your GP or therapist.

good luck.

peace&love

leigh

Leigh is correct in a technical sense. Weed is not 'chemically' addictive, it is psychologically addictive. I am a child of the sixties - know all about grass - I left it behind when it kept getting stronger (newer growing methods) and expensive. It was never so glad to shed a bad habit! I know about recreational drugs - raised three teenagers through the nineties. I was never so glad as to see them make it through parties and raves without a serious habit. Cocaine was the biggie then. They missed the crack generation fortunately, but the designer drugs were available.

I also - like everyone - had my alcohol days. I made it through that too. If I had had an substance abuse addiction (psychological or chemical) of some sort PLUS my gender dysphoria - I may not have made it. I am not a prude - I just don't want to face the world unless I am sober - as bad as it can be sometimes. You ALWAYS have to sober up again and then - oh my god!

Just a clafification.

Lizzy

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  • 2 weeks later...

I had been smoking the ganja for around 8 years, every single day after work and all day on the weekends. I still got up, got around and did things, but the longer you do it for, the easier it becomes to repress or not even think about your gender dysphoria.

This is bad because at one point down the line your going to come out of the stoned haze - even just for a little moment - and your feelings about your gender will come crashing back down. With me, I ended up branching out into other drugs to "chase that feeling, of no feeling" and well, in the end it's not worth it chicken.

It most certainly is psychological addiction (unless laced, but its uncommon) and with the will and right friends around, you will pass this period with out to much trouble. If you are going to smoke it, smoke it for relaxation, not repression - and try to stay away from bongs/springer's because it's a bad yucky habit. Stick with joints, if you continue.

You'll be OK, at the moment it's just weed, easy to handle if you do it smart, and for the right reasons. If you have a shrink that you see talk to them about it, they won't be shocked, they won't tell you off, they will likely not be to worried. Be smart and stay safe chicken, don't lose yourself.

Misa

Xo

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Guest Evan_J
weed doesn't have any addictive properties. it's all psychological. that can mean that it's easier to stop (for some people). but if you really think it's a problem, and are afraid that you have smoked something that was laced, you should at the least talk to your GP or therapist.

good luck.

peace&love

leigh

Really? And you believe that? In 1963 that might've been true. But in 2009 anything you buy on the street (and I highly doubt anyone living at home with there folks is growing their own "organic" supply) is NOT organic 9 times out of ten. Marijuana grown hydroponically in particular. I smoked my first joint at 12. By 19 I spent 150 dollars approx every 4 days on "weed" alone. Forget what was already inherent in the growing, or even the LSD or cocaine that someone might actually know is mixed in and tell you about, you will likely NEVER hear about the pesticide, cleanser, or other convenient additive that also was to boost the effect. And lets not talk about the tar heroin. Cuz most people miss that one. All that's "sticky" is not just THC. That's why I put "weed" in quotes earlier.

I'm gon end this, cuz it's gettin kinda "close" but that's not where you want to go. No matter how "mild" you think it all is.

If I were you, I would talk to someone about it and why it is you run to it. Keepin it your self is the first pitfall.

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Guest AllisonD

I used to enjoy grass in High School and even in University. It made sex, food, music, even movies so much better! But we used to get as much as we wanted, in season, for free. It grew wild by the acre along the Rio Grande in New Mexico.

I gave it up for two reasons. Well, maybe it all boils down to one. And I mention it (the only reason I would post this personal bit at all) 'cause it just may work for you too.

The first reason was that it made my mind fuzzy the next day. Not the way to get the most out of school. Not the way to learn mathematics (I am an engineer). Definitely not the way to remember details in Science or History or whatever. I needed good grades and good skills and learning on grass just didn't work for me. I couldn't even read a book while stoned for English and remember the details for the book report!

The second reason is that I knew I wanted surgery. Even in High School, long before I realized there would ever be SRS for real people, I knew I wanted the boys gone, the beard gone (I never really had much, but still), and boobs. I also wanted a really classy wardrobe. I wanted out from under. I wanted independence. I knew I needed money, and the only way to get it, for me, in any meaningful amount, with any sense of reliability or predictability, was to earn it with a high paying professional career.

So grass interfered with the education I needed, and I wanted money for expenses and eventually grass started costing money that I was unwilling to part with.

I understand that nowdays grass is not only often an unknown quantity (you just don't know what you are buying) but it is also very expensive. Can you not think of an outfit, or shoes, or guitar, or whatever that you would rather have for that same money? Think back on what you have spent in the past year, and then convert that to skirts or whatever turns you on and consider the collection you could have had instead.

Perhaps I am both old and naive, but when I consider what I would have really really liked to spend my money on back when it was scarce and I was young, I definitely would have headed to Lord&Taylor's or Bloomingdale's instead of to a drug dealer. I hope that this makes sense to you and you can think of something you would much rather have (or even do).

Allison

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Guest Angelgrlsue
I had a previous post about me developing a problem with weed before. Well it turns out I was right and it has gotten worse. Its all I can think about even though I haven't done it often. I don't know what 2 do. On father's day I ditched my dad because my parents were mad at me to get high. I've even come home high twice. A few days ago I think I did some weed laced with cocaine and I didn't know so I've been suffering the after affects of that until today and even though it scared me and was really bad I still wanna do weed. I think I do it to escape reality because of my gender identity issues I try my best to supress. Im on antidepressants but I only feel happy when im high. Should I seek out some kind of help? I don't know what to do.

I smoked weed in the past. Would not say I was addicted to it since I only did it occasionally and it was usually with friends. Needless to say I do know the psychological effects it caused me. While high my short term memory would lapse. I remember one time I was smoking with a friend of mine and we were watching a Billy Crystal movie. I honestly could not remember his name. I kept on asking my friend what the actors name was. The worst part was coming down from the high. Became severely depressed, even suicidal at times. This stuff is bad news. I would really consider talking with your therapist about this.

Suzie

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Guest April63

I didn't know we had so many stoners here. Ouch.

Drugs mess with you. That's all. They give you a feeling of a fake reality. Some do it by killing brain cells. Some do it by acting as other chemicals use din your nervous system. Some do it in other ways. But no matter how it happens, drugs just give you a warped sense of reality, and over time will continue to damage not only your physical health, but also your mental well being.

You chose to start it, now you need to choose to end it. It may be hard, but it is worth it. Nobody can make this change, except for yourself.

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Guest uncertain_cd

The good old Mary Jane.

Ya I used to be a huge stoner and smoked tons of weed. I was never addicted to smoking weed and I eventually just decided to take a break with my main stoner buddy and I ended up not smoking for months. I just take the occasional few bong rips or hauls off a J. I sold my volcano vape as well so ya.

With Faith, I have to say that you have a good taste in music since you;re avvy is Opeth! Metal FTW!

Now if it's one category I know all too much about it's drugs and I'm not gonna flame you or anything but whoever told you your bud was spike with blow was either lying or hes a friend and cut the yayo in himself but didn't tell you, which ever the case cocaine HCL does absolutely nothing but smell the air of up dope and waste an expensive drug. You don't lace weed with coke hcl ( salt form to snort) as it's a total waste despite what anybody tells you. That blow is made to be railed and crack and paste are made to be smoked and are both extremely efficient that way.

Anti depressants can cause a lot more problems then THC could. Smoking weed can help you with your problems or they can make them worse. I can't answer that for you. I think you like smoking weed cause getting baked is a hell of a fun time and I can say that some of the greatest times of my life have been while baked and those are memories forever stored in my mind. SO many fun times.

Weed is what you make of it, some people like to get stoned and sit on the couch and do nothing while others like to smoke to enhance their creativity and get their thoughts flowing and they use it as a tool. Some like to smoke and go out in nature and enjoy things etc.

TRUST me, you CAN get over it and you gotta realize that you are not an addict. Just find something to do rather then get stoned or get stoned but find something constructive to do. If you're gonna smoke don't smoke it everyday cause it ruins all the magic and fun out of it.

Some of the content I'm reading on here is making my blood boil and I wanna say things that arent' nice and I just started here so I'm gonna hold myself back.

People don't go crazy and flip cars cause they were stoned and people don't kill others over weed. They do that cause their either insane or their actual serious addicts addicted to hardcore drugs.

Skeletal Tania, that's not the case for everyone and many people smoke all their lives with no issues. People tlak a lot of smack about bud but when it comes to Alcohol and cigarettes and caffeine it's all cool right? Or how about how the government tosses a bunch of Amphetamines to children and keeps them spun out for years up to their teenage years when they end up miserable and depressed cause these teens grew up taking speed everyday ?

I'm gonna stop here cause this is one subject that I have heard just TOO much propoganda and misinformation spread so before I lose my temper and say things I regret I'll end it.

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Guest Jean Davis

Don't have too much experience with weed (only tried it twice, made me sick both times), but I have alot with tobacco. If it's the same the longer you use it the harder its going to be to Quit. Stomp out your habit early, I wish I would have.

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  • 1 month later...
Guest Joanna Phipps

Back in the '70s i used to smoke it too, knew my dealer real well and knew his dealer as well. I used to be able to get good stuff for great prices (the more modern kids will cry at this ) could get 2 oz of top shelf stuff for 25$ (Canadian). Like most of you I smoked my way through a lot of money. One day I, too, had enough, I jsut walked away from it; that was back in '75 and ive not touched it since.

If you are craving it that badly, yours has been laced with something and these days it could be dang near anything you should talk to a professional and see about getting help for it before it takes over more of your life and resources than it already has.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest Alyssa Leigh
Back in the '70s i used to smoke it too, knew my dealer real well and knew his dealer as well. I used to be able to get good stuff for great prices (the more modern kids will cry at this ) could get 2 oz of top shelf stuff for 25$ (Canadian). Like most of you I smoked my way through a lot of money. One day I, too, had enough, I jsut walked away from it; that was back in '75 and ive not touched it since.

If you are craving it that badly, yours has been laced with something and these days it could be dang near anything you should talk to a professional and see about getting help for it before it takes over more of your life and resources than it already has.

Its crazy expensive now at $ 560 for 2 oz, but thats not every where only in the Buffalo area.
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  • 7 months later...
Guest GinaBrandt

If it makes you feel better, laced weed is a bit of a myth. Most drugs have to be burned a bit longer and in a special device, the two (very) rare exceptions being PCP and bug spray. This is why cocaine is freebased off of aluminum foil or in a little round glass ball instead of packed into a pipe/bong.

For what it's worth I've given up drugs except for the occasional holiday joint (you can take the hippy from california...) but I used to have an obsession with "trying everything once" and that entailed lots of research so I knew I wouldn't be killing myself by trying a random drug. I've tried coke, ecstasy, marijuana, amphetamines, lsd, dxm, 2c-i, 2c-e, ketamine and a whole host of opiates. Wouldn't recommend it :)

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I have a bit of a problem with that as well. I am trying to stop but it's so hard when it's brought home practically everynight. Excuses excuses I know. However it is hard for me to stop, I stop for a few days then something comes up. Back to hitting a j. I just need to stop because I know it will play hell with hormones. Oh well guess I gotta quit regardless... Ugh.

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Guest TheAetherealMeadow

Weed itself is not physically addictive, but it can be psychologically addictive. Still, even the potential for psychological addiction is low compared to things like television or computers. I can go a week without weed just fine, but I'd go crazy if I had no internet access for a week.

Excessive toking is usually a symptom of some other problem, not a problem in of itself. People who are bored, unmotivated, and/or depressed turn to various things as a source of comfort. The anecdotal observation that some stoners are unmotivated is because they were unmotivated in the first place- and they smoke weed to relieve their boredom. Lack of motivation leads to weed smoking, not the other way around, as popularly believed.

Therefore, your attitude determines whether or not you will become dependent on it. If you smoke weed to have fun, inspire creativity, enhance experiences, etc. it is unlikely that it will be problematic. If you smoke weed to escape your problems, fill up an emptiness inside you, etc. your chances of it becoming problematic are higher. The way I see it is that life is a cake and weed is the icing for it, and you have to realize that the cake itself is very sweet even without the icing. The icing makes it better, but if you use too much icing, it will drown out the flavor of the cake and make your stomach upset. This applies not only to weed, but also to television, internet, junkfood, etc.

Also, weed is not a gateway drug. Most people who smoke weed do not move on to harder drugs. Out of those who do, the reason why is weed is usually the first illegal drug people try is because it is the most easily available out of illegal drugs. Also, most people who do hard drugs have tried alcohol, nicotine, and caffeine before trying weed, so technically those are the true "gateway drugs".

And as others have said, it is very unlikely that your weed was laced. Most addictive drugs are more expensive than the weed itself, which would make lacing un-economical. Also, drugs such as heroin, cocaine/crack, meth, etc. do not burn under a direct flame. Many times when people think their weed is laced, it's actually just really high-quality weed. The high from some potent strains can feel overwhelming, especially if you're an inexperienced toker. I've never had laced weed. Still, it is best if you get your weed from someone you know and trust.

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Guest Jean Davis
Also, weed is not a gateway drug. Most people who smoke weed do not move on to harder drugs. Out of those who do, the reason why is weed is usually the first illegal drug people try is because it is the most easily available out of illegal drugs. Also, most people who do hard drugs have tried alcohol, nicotine, and caffeine before trying weed, so technically those are the true "gateway drugs".

Sorry honey, but I have to disagree with you on this.

For one nicotine and caffeine are not mind altering drugs and they are legal so to place them as a gateway to harder drugs is not too

realistic.

Secondly marijuana is known as a gateway to harder drugs because most of the people that sell it also sell the other drugs and once you find those dealers they like to push the other drugs on you to make more money for themselves. The more addicting the substance the longer and more frequently you will purchase drugs from them.

LUV

Jean

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Guest TheAetherealMeadow
Sorry honey, but I have to disagree with you on this.

For one nicotine and caffeine are not mind altering drugs and they are legal so to place them as a gateway to harder drugs is not too

realistic.

Secondly marijuana is known as a gateway to harder drugs because most of the people that sell it also sell the other drugs and once you find those dealers they like to push the other drugs on you to make more money for themselves. The more addicting the substance the longer and more frequently you will purchase drugs from them.

LUV

Jean

Nicotine and caffeine are in fact mind-altering drugs. They are known as invisible drugs. The "high" from them is subtle, but they still affect the pleasure center in your brain and they are still addictive, yet when most people smoke a cigarette or drink coffee they are not aware that they are consuming a drug. In fact nicotine has been shown to be the most addictive drug there is. That's the reason why it's a bad idea to take up smoking, because you'll get hooked, and find it difficult to stop even in the midst of the negative consequences from using, just like other addictive drugs.

I agree with your second statement. The "gateway effect" is because of weed's presence in the black market and dealers making them available. However, the great majority of weed smokers don't move on to hard drugs, and if you have good enough judgment not to use hard drugs, weed won't increase your chances of getting hooked on hard drugs. The reason why people who use hard drugs start with weed is because weed is the most easily available drug on the black market, not because weed causes them to want to use hard drugs, which is what some anti-drug propaganda tends to imply.

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Guest Chance

I actually have a problem with weed myself. Though I'm quitting ASAP. Fact, I'm going to bury the junk.

That way, I won't have anything to smoke it out of again if I want to. If that fails I won't hesitate to dump myself in rehab, I can't deal with that crap.

Makes me paranoid and makes me feel like I'm getting no where.

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Guest Evan_J

Hmmm I don't see where its been quoted recently so :

p. Users are prohibited from starting or participating in any discussion that aids, encourages, details, abets or facilitates illegal activity of any kind.

This includes, but is not limited to, pornographic sites and images and drug sites.

Thats from the site rules. http://www.lauras-playground.com/forums/in...php?showtopic=7 for anyone who would like to read them in their entirety.

That being the case, it really does not matter whether or not x is a "gateway" drug or not, nor does it matter who's dealer has ever offered them something not asked for or anything else. The thing that everyone on this thread needs to concern themselves with is the fact that this site will not be a place where discussions that encourage, (and in extention) excuse, deleniate, or convey a "drug use can be alright" sentiment are tolerated.

Those are not Evans rules.

They are the site rules.

'And they are Laura's rules.

And no they are not up for "debate"

Be advised.

Besides, if I recall correctly, this thread was approved for someone who wanted OUT of the lifestyle. Not to hear how to keep going.

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  • Root Admin

Thank you, Evan. I think this topic has run it's course so I'm closing it. Any future posts condoning illegal drug use will not be approved.

MaryEllen

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      Bob was on his way home from the dojo and he "just happened" to driver by her place. It was 10:30.  Her light was still on.  He knew exactly where she was sitting.  He saw her in his mind.   A fierce wave of desire that took his breath away suddenly showed up. All he had to do was stop, get out of the car, walk to the door and knock.  She would answer, glad to see him.  She would know why he was there and what he wanted. She would invite him in, maybe get him something to drink, disappear for a moment and return in "something more comfortable."  She would lead him back. Oh, joy.   And never, ever speak to him again afterwards.  Or she would not let him in but be angry about it.  In no way, emotionally, physically, mentally or spiritually, was she ready for this, and he knew it, if he was honest with himself, and she knew he knew it.  She would look upon it as another assault and their relationship would be irretrievably broken.  He would have to leave town. It would devastate her. It would devastate him.    He fought himself.  He was frozen to his seat as his reason and his body fought. He was twenty four years old, a full-blooded male with normal desires; he had just worked out and he was ready.  All he had to do now was open the car door. No one would know. He held his hands, one in the other, to keep one from moving, against his reason and will, to open that door.  He did not want to be a slave of his desires.   He looked across the street.  Mrs. McCarthy, sister of his landlord, was peeking though her window.  She knew his car.  Everyone in town would know by noon the next day if he got out of the car.  Taylor did not need that, either, and she would know, if he came to the door now, what a selfish thing it would be: in his own eyes, in the eyes of Taylor, in the eyes of the town, and worst of all, in the eyes of God.   He sat there a moment longer.  He was, as he reflected, entering into her sufferings in a small way that she would be made whole, healthy and happy: what he wanted more than anything.  But this hurt.  Why had all this come on her?  He asked God again, but there was only silence. He drove home in that silence. He chided himself for even going on her street and for driving on it other nights.  He would stop that, he told himself.   ------------------------------------------   The next morning Taylor went out to her car to go to work.  Mrs. McCarthy met her before she got to it. "I thought you were going to get lucky last night, dearie," she said. Taylor was puzzled. "Why, what do you mean?" "That young fellow - you know, Bob - he's been driving around here, going up and down the street some nights, not stopping.  Well, last night he parked and sat in his car for a while.   I think he was staring at your window.  I think he was trying to get up the courage to knock on the door. I was rooting for him.   But then he drove away.  Faint heart never won fair lady, as they say. What a shame. You two are a lovely couple.  Well, have a good day!" "Thank you, Mrs. McCarthy."  Taylor knew Bob extremely well and knew what had been going through his mind.  She was more than grateful he had not gotten out of the car. Better for him, better for her, better for everybody.  Surgery "down there" sooner than later.  This was driving the poor boy crazy. It was driving her crazy, too.  But she had a lot to work through. Surgery "up here" she said, pointing to her head.  She woke up her therapist on the way to work.  They were still talking when she pulled into her designated parking spot.  That was a perk that had happened yesterday.  She took a deep breath and headed into work. It would be another wild day.
    • Ashley0616
      bittersweet: especially : pleasure accompanied by suffering or regret
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I'm thinking about some interactions yesterday I did, while presenting as male but acting as female, that were far better than I did when I was presenting as male and acting as male.  #girlunderhood. I do a crappy job at acting as male and I am giving it up.  I am not talking about feminine gestures or presentation but just relating as a woman.  People don't realize I am doing it but it is a whole lot easier to do.   You don't just put on a dress and BOOM you are a girl.  You are a girl and you put on a dress.  Or not. Whether I am in jeans or a skirt (I wish, wife would have lots to say) I am a girl.  I don't need $250 in makeup and heels and hose and all that.  I don't need surgery. Honey, I have arrived.  Now I have to work out how that best works in my life, causing the minimal damage and creating the maximum good, but I have more working room.   Oh, and I am still pissed off at everyone and everything. #Contradictory.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      @Willow it is certainly possible that my husband planned it. Placing me in the path of an opportunity....he certainly does things like that. GF has done some work for the company as an outside consultant, so I'm sure the company owner knows what potential resources are around.    It could also have just happened randomly. He has taken me to work with him before, just because he likes to have me around. I remember one time that I fell asleep with my head in his lap, and he held a meeting with his subordinates without waking me and making me move.  The company culture is family oriented and relaxed.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      The photo is great.  Software is phenomenal but it also is sort of a promise of things to come. Years ago this sort of thing took a photographer and Photoshop and all sorts of things and you would say, "I can look like THIS??"   Me, I am a duck.  That's from my driver's license.  Just kidding.
    • MaeBe
      I lucked into that picture. I took like 10 before that, which appropriately make me look like a donkey. ;)   Thank you so much for the compliment!
    • Mmindy
      You're welcome Sally,   Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
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