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No matter your age, what would you like to be remembered when you pass from this world?


Heather Shay

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For me - it is that I was kind and tried to give what I have to give including a comforting word or listening ear when needed.

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That people think of me as a good person.

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My incredible sense of humour- the fact I can spend ages just telling jokes or funny stories

 

My music taste- I mean I don't think there's a single music style that I've not at least listened to. Doesn't mean I like it, but you have to be open- or at least if you're me. Music is incredible

 

Loving spaghetti as a baby. Seriously, it was a big fat no to milk, but a big fat yes to a bottle of spaghetti- and I still love Spaghetti, too

 

The fact I could talk on any topic, and not get bored. Rather than pretend I knew about it when I didn't, ask questions about it. Research it. Take an interest.

The fact that I've seen the Lion king so many times I may as well be related to Simba

 

The fact I give great hugs- not these half hugs so many people do, but full on comforting hugs 

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I guess I would want to be remembered as an artist, or just a good man. Of course right now I’m so hung up on transitioning and in a general amount of despair over it, but I want to see myself as more than a “natal female” and whatever terms drive me crazy. I would be comfortable with being forgotten if it meant that no one would ever have known me as female, but it doesn’t work like that. All I can do is work on it and maybe I’ll come up with something all my own for me to work for.

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For being a person who not only cared about others but who also worked to improve their lives.

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    • VickySGV
      I just checked and see your problem and mine.  I copied the numbers off a page of the and picked up a figure I did not mean to.  26,673,525 is the total able to register statewide, and the 82.91% is the numbers that actually have registered.   22,114,456 is the total registered,   10,353,432  is the number of Democrats registered, (46.82%);  and Republicans come in at 5,286,269 (23.9%)   American Independent party 825,981 (3.74%)  Green Party 101,620 (0.46%)   Libertarians 242, 299 (1.10%)  No Party Preference 4,914,982 (22.23)  and a couple more categories that equaled about 1.5% of the real total.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      @Jamielynn One factor in breast growth is body type and amount of body fat.  The modern western ideal of "slender but with large breasts" seems to be fairly unusual in nature.  The women in my life (just a sample) tend to follow the pattern of "slender = smaller breasts and thicker = larger breasts."     Yes, decrease testosterone and increase estrogen will yield secondary sex characteristics.  Within limitations.  Two of my friends are MtF, and both have HRT.  Even with HRT, neither has large breasts.... a full A-cup or small B-cup at most.  Both are fairly slender and physically active.  If they wanted something larger, they'd likely have to look at augmentation.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      I do too.  Actually, husband's parents used to have FOX on the TV constantly in their home until a couple of years ago.  But viewers are decreasing overall as people cut the cord on expensive cable services.  Something is just unhealthy about consuming that much media, no matter the source.  Remember the days when "news" was something that came on for a half hour at 6pm?  Or arrived in a rolled-up paper on the driveway on Sunday and Wednesday?
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      OK, I'm confused.  I'm no scholar, but isn't a "whole" supposed to be 100%?  Yet 82% are Democrats and 46% are Republicans?  Unless I'm missing something, that's more than 100%.... are people double registered or something?   It seems like a lot of studies go for 1000 respondents.  I guess its just a nice, round number?  But for a state as big as CA, its a pretty small sample size.  And 1000 people from San Fransisco will give very different results than 1000 people from Northern CA smaller towns.  It would be interesting to know the polling locations they used, but I suspect that the study is basically worthless due to its sample size and limitations. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Lots of folks have been feeling that way for quite a while, and for different reasons.  The trick is... become OK with that idea.    After all, the Founding Fathers were outlaws in the eyes of the British crown.  There's frequently a difference between "right" and "legal."  There's lots of things that are legal, but not right.  And lots of things that are right, but not legal.  According to Jefferson, "When injustice becomes law, resistance becomes duty."  The day the system makes me an outlaw, I'll be in good company. 
    • AllieJ
      Thank you EasyE!  I have been researching this for years and have lots of links, but just google transgender brain and you will see lots of information (some conflicting) but concentrate on Bed Nucleus. This area of the brain is structured to sense what is happening around you and send signals to the rest of the brain. It was originally only thought to control anxiety, and the fight or flight reflex, but it has been found to be sexually dimorphic in structure, and is likely the centre of gender identity. In this case (still being researched) the signals it sends to the rest of the brain would be dysphoria. (if/when they can prove this it should mean GI and Dysphoria are not mental.) There is no way to change the Bed Nucleus atm, so 'it isn't going away'!   You need to read a number of papers as each of them has parts of the story, and it is still being developed.   Hugs,   Allie 
    • MaeBe
      One of the reasons the far right is pushing so hard right now. The kids are alright, so time is short for instilling sweeping “conservative” and authoritarian dogma. 
    • EasyE
      I would love to know more about this. Do you have links where we can read more, Allie? I hear so many people (including myself) saying to folks around them "this isn't going to go away" (even though others don't understand this) ... I feel that too. It would be nice to know a little more why. Thanks!!! And thanks for all you do to keep us so well informed!
    • EasyE
      Welcome! Thanks for sharing! This truly is a safe and judgement-free space... 
    • EasyE
      Here's one more Willow. Happy B-Day!! Hope you have had a blessed day!! And a blessed year ahead!! 
    • emeraldmountain2
      2%, even better! That is over 6.7 million Americans and over 160.2 million people worldwide who are trans. No small numbers! We are everywhere.
    • AllieJ
      There hasn't been any accurate census of the trans population, and it would be difficult given the varieties under the trans umbrella. Governments grossly under represent trans numbers so they don't have to provide funding, but in countries where trans people are traditionally accepted the populations are usually estimated around 2%. This is almost all represented by trans feminine people, and doesn't include non binary. As most trans people either haven't figured out they are trans, or are in hiding, accurate numbers are likely never to be known. About 5% of youth in the US have claimed to be gender diverse, and I have read papers which forecast between 5 and 8% of the worlds population could be gender diverse.    I feel most comfortable with the 2% number as a minimum of people who will take some affirming action, but do feel the total number would be much higher.   Hugs,   Allie
    • Vidanjali
      What an amazing story, @EmilyLouise48. You are blessed to have that support on your life. Thank you for sharing. 
    • emeraldmountain2
      1% sounds small, but it's significant. One study estimates the number trans and nonbinary Americans at 1.6%, which is over 5 million people! We are numerous, we are everywhere, and we are strong.
    • Vidanjali
      You might consider wearing a wide cloth headband or turban headband to feminize your look while your brushed back hair grows out. You can find lots of different patterns like these for example.
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