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Ashley's Life from Start to Present


Ashley0616

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1 minute ago, Mmindy said:

I’m sorry you had another bad experience with dating. 
 

Hugs

 

Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

Thanks

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Well, it has been an interesting couple of days. On Facebook dating app I was liked by a woman. I made sure she knew what was on my bio. She said she did and didn't mind that I was trans. A problem that I'm having is I'm almost doing all the texting. She has kids but they are all grown up. The problem with the app is that it doesn't always notify you of a message. I'm feeling that she doesn't put forth any effort I have asked almost 20 questions, and she has asked one and then after I question her, she than just asks for how I feel about that subject. I would like some feedback on what y'all think. Thank you in advance. 

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Another failed relationship attempts 51 failures 10 wanted to use me just for my money. I was ghosted again! I'm feeling like a failure in the relationship department. I'm just going to order myself a huge teddy bear to snuggle with. Eventually get a Mustang. Apart of me doesn't want to go through another failed attempt. Am I not pretty enough? Do I ask too many questions? For the first time in my life, I don't know what to do. My heart yearns for affection but my brain it feels like enough is enough. 

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3 hours ago, Ashley0616 said:

The problem with the app is that it doesn't always notify you of a message. I'm feeling that she doesn't put forth any effort I have asked almost 20 questions, and she has asked one and then after I question her, she than just asks for how I feel about that subject.

@Ashley0616 people may not be responding to this app and your questions because they don’t have push notifications turned on, while they are at work. Another reason to not have notifications turned on is that you are not ready to sit and have a text conversation with someone because they have tasks to complete around the house. While I’m extremely active here on TPF, I don’t have any push notifications turned on for any of my social media platforms. My mindset is… I’ll be there when I can control the time. On my time. So it’s not that I’m ignoring anyone’s posts. I’m choosing when it’s convenient for me to be online. Loading up a new acquaintance with to many questions in a short period of time can be a turn off. Take your time, understand the app doesn’t forward messages on a timely manner. 
 

Hugs

 

Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

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Well today was a pretty good day. I was very productive. I went through my closet and found a good amount of clothes that don't fit any more. I also went ahead and did laundry. My knees and back are killing me. I went on Facebook dating and of course five guys liked me. Once I told them to read my bio I was blocked again. Looking forward to Wednesday payday! I need to try to save up some to put it toward the tires. There's only one other thing to do maintenance on and that's the rear differential fluid. I have no idea when it was done last and neither did the owner before me. Whew pardon me I made A Sex On The Beach and got a little heavy on the vodka. I haven't weighed myself and I'm afraid that it went up again. I needed it today it was stressful! My youngest didn't understand what was going but when I was done putting the trash bags in the SUV he was helping by dragging them on the floor thankfully that the bag didn't rip. Well I guess this is it for now. Thank you, readers, showing interest. 

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17 hours ago, Ashley0616 said:

I went through my closet and found a good amount of clothes that don't fit any more.

Spring cleaning!

 

Hopefully you woke up without feeling the extra vodka! 🤭

 

💜Mae

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24 minutes ago, MaeBe said:

Spring cleaning!

 

Hopefully you woke up without feeling the extra vodka! 🤭

 

💜Mae

Yes it wasn't too bad. I'm not able to drink to that point my meds won't allow me to plus I like to save some. I'm done with the age of getting hammered wasted. Interesting news that has raised my anxiety sky high and I'm getting something from the IRS. It can't be about owing them anything because both of my incomes are tax free but I still feel scared of what it might be. It's just about always bad news. I haven't received anything good from them. 

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Well good news is that I don't owe them any money. I get to do child tax credit tomorrow. Hopefully year before last can be done too. Which is all going to pay off debt so nothing fancy. I might get myself something. My youngest has not left me alone all day even counting going to the bathroom. I'm even holding him when I'm on here most of the time. The only time I do get time to myself other than the weekend is when I'm sleeping but I'm always afraid that something might happen to them. I'm afraid if I ever go on a date I will have to watch YouTube videos on proper etiquette for dates and won't even know what to say. It's been over a year since my last date. I do dream about it. 

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2 hours ago, Ashley0616 said:

I don't owe them any money. I get to do child tax credit tomorrow. Hopefully year before last can be done too. Which is all going to pay off debt so nothing fancy.

That's great Ashley. Your youngest will become more independent in the next year or so. You're living the life of a single mother, and your job seems to never be done.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

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10 hours ago, Mmindy said:

That's great Ashley. Your youngest will become more independent in the next year or so. You're living the life of a single mother, and your job seems to never be done.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

Thank you!

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14 hours ago, Ashley0616 said:

Well good news is that I don't owe them any money. I get to do child tax credit tomorrow.

I'll bet that was a weight of your mind!

 

I think it would be endearing on your next date, when you get up to excuse yourself to "use the potty". 😁

 

I hope you have a great day!

💜Mae

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Well bad news is that if you don't have any taxable income you don't get child tax credit. I'm going to keep doing my research.

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Well something is better than nothing. 859 for Federal I don't get why I don't get the full 2000? I'll take what I can get. 

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Well it was nice while it lasted. Time to face reality. Maybe I was meant to be single. I was ghosted yet again. I know that because I was blocked. It seems like the only ones who want me, want to use me for my money. 

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Time to try a different approach? Maybe get out there in person, make new friends, maybe something will happen? Internet "dating" is a horrible numbers game. Even if there is a connection, nine times out of ten they don't work out. I am sorry you have to deal with the "swipe" dating economy.

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Well, I sent an email to the president of the LGBTQ, and she said I still have a chance to be a board member and I go to the next interview next Wednesday. I was happy I still have a shot. I guess even if I don't get the board member position, I will still be a member just won't have to deal with the stressors of being a board member and not having to have to show up to all those meetings. I guess there's light at the end of the tunnel. I did lab work today for my endocrinologist and to see what meds are actually working. I get to see my endocrinologist on March 8th. I'm hoping to drop 5-6 medications but even if it's just three I would still consider that a victory. I haven't weighed myself in a while and I already ate so I'll do it tomorrow. Well unfortunately it's getting to the point to where I have to pay someone to cut grass. The guy is only charging 100 a month which isn't too bad. Even when I was able to cut grass I hated it. I would rather do laundry than grass any day of the week. 

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I want to believe it that I might actually have someone again but I showed him pictures of me without a wig on me and I have wondered if he would get scared off but he is still there. We talked a while before and I told him I wasn't ready for a relationship. He was persistent and asked again so I figured what the heck. He is in Turkey yes the country on the other side of the world. It has been tough because of the huge time difference but we make time for each other so far. He said that he is Muslim but is willing to convert to Christianity which really shocked me. He has been great so far. I guess we will see how things will unravel. 

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I'm getting to the point where I'm almost giving complete hope of finding someone who loves me up. I'm almost 40 years old and haven't been in actual successful relationship where I have been able to be my true self. I'm going to just put my attention on myself and take care of my kids. Hope to make some friends but I'm not going to hang my hat on it. Yesterday I had to go to bed at 6 something because of a massive migraine. It took two Zolmirtriptan and two Sumitriptan before if finally went away. Both are prescription only medications for migraines. I have been up now since 1 something. I feel a lot better and look forward to church service today because I get to be a communion assistant today. Jamming out to music and just feeling happy right now. I was doing some window shopping with Amazon and found about another 14 pairs of boots. I did get myself a pair of boots, Uggs that were camouflage, and a pair that were dark gray. Two of my Ugg boots shrunk or something because now they are too tight and hurt my toes. I'll need another rack for my boots because the one I got only has space for one more pair. I enjoyed my extra day and half with my kids. It was nice but I also enjoy me time, so I don't know how to actually feel. It was nice though to be able to sleep in even though for me it was till 630-7. I do find myself able to sleep in more when my son is off of school for a while. I found a perfect matching pair of red plaid shoes that would match perfectly with my red plaid dress. I'm looking forward to the end of the month. I'm looking forward to my lump sum that I'll get from hearing loss and tinnitus so I can pay things off and get somethings for myself too.

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I have been in and out of it for the whole day so far. I feel so weak, lightheaded, nauseous, double vision, dizzy and migraines. I haven't been able to take care of my youngest the way I should because of everything happening. Even my hands can't seem to stop shaking. Even this post has taken over 20 minutes to write so far. I feel so miserable. I wished I had someone who could help me out by taking care of the kids and myself. I don't think it requires an ER visit because it has always been nothing for majority of the times. 

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I'm sorry you're feeling unwell. I sympathize with your situation, it must be really hard with the little kiddos. Sending good vibes!

 

💜Mae

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1 minute ago, MaeBe said:

I'm sorry you're feeling unwell. I sympathize with your situation, it must be really hard with the little kiddos. Sending good vibes!

 

💜Mae

Thank you! It sure isn't easy. 

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I wish I could send over one of my teenagers to give you a hand!

 

On another thread I saw mention you might have a Youtube channel?

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1 minute ago, MaeBe said:

I wish I could send over one of my teenagers to give you a hand!

 

On another thread I saw mention you might have a Youtube channel?

I pretty much gave up on that. I only got like five views I think on my last video. Maybe I'll do it again.

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1 minute ago, Ashley0616 said:

I pretty much gave up on that. I only got like five views I think on my last video. Maybe I'll do it again.

It's hard to get those things going. What was your content about?

 

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1 minute ago, MaeBe said:

It's hard to get those things going. What was your content about?

 

My life as a trans woman. My first video got 81 views! I was very happy with that. I don't know how to do all the fancy editing maybe I'll try learning how to do that and maybe get more viewers and subscribers. 

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    • April Marie
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      Depression is gone at the moment
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      gleeful: full of glee : MERRY
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
      F1Q5ss7XsAA8BEa.jpg_large
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