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Getting Clocked in Your Birth Gender


Abigail Genevieve

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I've had the scenario several times when I was going along, male dressed in male mode with nothing to suggest otherwise, and someone stares at me in "that" way.  I've also been in conversations where the other person who does not know me looks like he is about to tell me that it is obvious that I am a girl and I should accept the gender that God gave me and dress accordingly.  But I would continue by explaining I do have a wife, a mustache (POINTING) and four wonderful children that I fathered and he had best mind his own business. Not sure where it would go from there.  I have avoided the scenario from going any further.

 

Just wondering if anyone here has been reverse-clocked and what happened exactly.

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Outside of the medical day-centre I attend I dress and live as a female. About half of the current building residents know I'm AMAB/Intersex, but I really only have a problem with a few of them. 

 

At the day-centre I am required to "dress my gender (AMAB), but I still just dress androgynous. I barely squeeze by their rules and regulations. 

 

New employees, visitors, etc... will see me and address me as "ma'am", even in my supposed "boy-mode". I basically am unable to pull off "boy-mode" even though I'm required to do so (the center is a religious oriented organization).

 

Of course I don't have anything to create a bulge between my legs and I have larger breasts. I do have a few masculine traits, but not much. 

 

I seldom get clocked as my birth gender unless someone knows otherwise. 

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I tend to look (and dress) in an androgynous way, so people think all kinds of weird things about me.  In my boy form, sometimes they think I'm a girl.  If on the rare occasion I try to fit in with my old girl form, people think I'm a boy.  I just let people think whatever they want and I go with it....although it is a bit irritating that 90% of strangers think I'm a kid when I'm in my 30s.  My husband has received "advice" about how his "daughter" should dress and act.  Or how his "son" ought to be more masculine.  🤣

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I would be flattered by someone who actually thought that I was a cis woman. Although I have given up on male clothes. I even have female socks. I have a few unisex shirts and that's about it. 

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On 3/31/2024 at 11:42 AM, Abby Gen said:

Just wondering if anyone here has been reverse-clocked and what happened exactly.

“Reverse-clocked” … what an interesting thought!

 

Before I had any idea of what Transgender was or that it was a word that could reasonably describe me, there were some things that happened. 
 

At at least two points in my life, with different groups of people, I was granted the title of “honorary woman” by cis woman friends. 
 

A boss gave me my name, Timi, in an affectionate and non-disrespectful way, as he gave me greater responsibilities. Not really reverse clocking, but he saw something in me. 
 

A subsequent boss made me Minister of Morale (My title was vice president) - basically in charge of potlucks and parties - typically in that environment something tasked to a woman admin assistant. Again, not really reverse clocking, but he saw something. 
 

Thank you for asking! Interesting question. 
 

-Timi

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6 hours ago, awkward-yet-sweet said:

although it is a bit irritating that 90% of strangers think I'm a kid when I'm in my 30s.

I suffered the same when I was younger. It wasn't until about my mid 20's that the police stopped pulling me over thinking I was too young to drive.

 

Now at 60 I am so happy that I look 20 years younger! Most people guess my age to be 40!

 

It's a curse when your are younger, but a blessing as you age. 😉

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10 minutes ago, Birdie said:

I suffered the same when I was younger. It wasn't until about my mid 20's that the police stopped pulling me over thinking I was too young to drive.

 

Now at 60 I am so happy that I look 20 years younger! Most people guess my age to be 40!

 

It's a curse when your are younger, but a blessing as you age. 😉

 

Ha.  If it wasn't for being known by the local authorities, I'd probably be getting pulled over even now.  And in the modern world where everybody is on the lookout for a inappropriate behavior with minors, it isn't exactly a good thing to look like a teenager when your husband has gray hair beginning to show.  He looks older than his age by about 10 years, so the apparent age difference is striking.  We came out of a truck stop shower once, and overheard a lady saying, "OMG that's just so wrong" clearly in our direction.  🤬

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On reflecting on this, I have been reverse-clocked socially more by people who don't know me - like Timi, taken the role expected of a woman.  Now I care for my wife, which is typically a female-type thing to do, and neither my father nor my father in law would ever even do the dishes, let alone the cleaning and the laundry.  People have said things to me that they would say to a woman but not to a man, as if my feelings were delicate, which they both are and they are tough as nails.   I kind of cringe at some jokes men tell about women and it shows on my face.  I am happy to pick up plates and serve coffee at work meetings and this has amused some people and made others wonder, I suppose.  Jesus washed feet; I can do dishes.  At a three day church retreat for 40 people I did the dishes three times a day.  I liked it.  Who likes THAT?

 

It is important in transitioning for someone to pay attention to their social role. If you put on a dress and play football with the guys and talk dirty, you have not transitioned.  It is the whole person, not just some undies.  Long ago I think I mainly transitioned to a stereotypical female role.  Not that I necessarily advocate stereotypical roles, which are culturally based,  but I gravitated there anyway.

 

 

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2 minutes ago, Abby Gen said:

On reflecting on this, I have been reverse-clocked socially more by people who don't know me - like Timi, taken the role expected of a woman.  Now I care for my wife, which is typically a female-type thing to do, and neither my father nor my father in law would ever even do the dishes, let alone the cleaning and the laundry.  People have said things to me that they would say to a woman but not to a man, as if my feelings were delicate, which they both are and they are tough as nails.   I kind of cringe at some jokes men tell about women and it shows on my face.  I am happy to pick up plates and serve coffee at work meetings and this has amused some people and made others wonder, I suppose.  Jesus washed feet; I can do dishes.  At a three day church retreat for 40 people I did the dishes three times a day.  I liked it.  Who likes THAT?

 

It is important in transitioning for someone to pay attention to their social role. If you put on a dress and play football with the guys and talk dirty, you have not transitioned.  It is the whole person, not just some undies.  Long ago I think I mainly transitioned to a stereotypical female role.  Not that I necessarily advocate stereotypical roles, which are culturally based,  but I gravitated there anyway.

 

 

I'm still a football fan but I do the stereotypical female stuff too. I don't talk dirty though. HRT has even made me softer, kinder and caring and definitely shopping good grief lol. 

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10 minutes ago, Ashley0616 said:

 good grief lol. 

??

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1 minute ago, Abby Gen said:

??

I have done a lot more shopping as a female and the desire is strong than what it was as a male. I now care about fashion and looks. 

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6 minutes ago, Ashley0616 said:

I have done a lot more shopping as a female and the desire is strong than what it was as a male. I now care about fashion and looks. 

I know there are women out there who enjoy playing football with the guys.  I never enjoyed playing football with the guys. It is fine with me if I am not.

 

Shopping.....I know the women's department at our local Wally World a lot better than the men's.  I hear there is one. Okay, sometimes in guy mode I am over there but I don't particularly like it.  My Amazon searches and WM online searches are all for girl stuff.  Not interested in men's stuff.  Or makeup, for that matter, possibly as a practical matter (wife loves my mustache and she has protested more than once when I have worn something she thought was too feminine).

 

So I make a girly girl.  Not a high-maintenance type, but girly, but also a t-shirt and jeans type girly girl.

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34 minutes ago, Abby Gen said:

It is important in transitioning for someone to pay attention to their social role. If you put on a dress and play football with the guys and talk dirty, you have not transitioned.  It is the whole person, not just some undies.  Long ago I think I mainly transitioned to a stereotypical female role.  Not that I necessarily advocate stereotypical roles, which are culturally based,  but I gravitated there anyway.

 

Interesting.  I haven't really transitioned into a male role...I don't really want to.  My feeling that I was in the wrong body was limited only to my body, not the rest of my life.  I cook and clean, I take care of the kids, and I know basically nothing about typically "masculine" stuff like working on cars. 

 

On the other hand, there's my GF.  She's all girl - very beautiful, and definitely enjoys having a female body.  But not very "feminine" in her role.  She drinks, swears, tells dirty jokes, works on cars, shoots guns, wrestles with the kids, and has never worn a dress in her life (not even on her wedding day.)   

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2 minutes ago, awkward-yet-sweet said:

 

Interesting.  I haven't really transitioned into a male role...I don't really want to.  My feeling that I was in the wrong body was limited only to my body, not the rest of my life.  

Part of my walk here is thinking I have the wrong body for the life I am living and the one I want, sort of backing into transgender from the opposite direction, and wondering about the causes of some of the conflicts I've had with people.  With me it's not all biological, not even primarily biological, a social dysphoria, if you will, and then discovering this body of mine has more female traits than I realized. 

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40 minutes ago, Abby Gen said:

... neither my father nor my father in law would ever even do the dishes, let alone the cleaning and the laundry.  ...  Jesus washed feet; I can do dishes.  At a three day church retreat for 40 people I did the dishes three times a day.  I liked it.  Who likes THAT?

I've often reflected about cooking as a culturally-defined gender role. I am of an age that I can remember observing (and learning about) men's roles in the 1960s. If a man could do anything more in the kitchen besides open a can and eat cold food directly out of it, he was usually considered effeminate. I mean - no real man watched the TV show The Galloping Gourmet. (But this "boy" did!) 

 

And yet now, I have family members (in-laws) who are red blooded cis hetero manly MEN, I think transphobic on top of that, one who is older than me, who proudly cook. And I'm not talking about competitive cooking. I'm talking about taking pride in making a meal that the family or extended family gathers around. I'm like wanting to say "You are soooo Martha Stewart" LOL. 

 

Another thought your message triggered ... I love the scene in the film Gandhi when, in conversation with VIPS, he continues talking as he takes the tea service from the servant and serves the tea himself. 

 

And yeah. My spouse and I used to cook on church retreats and I owned the dish room! I get it!

 

-Timi

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4 minutes ago, Timi said:

  I mean - no real man watched the TV show The Galloping Gourmet. (But this "boy" did!) 

My mom and I used to watch that show. I loved it.  But telling guys you even knew of it is an automatic surrender of the man card in circles I have traveled in.  Or been excluded from.  I didn't fit in.  Somehow I have never been invited to participate in March Madness.

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11 minutes ago, Abby Gen said:

...  Somehow I have never been invited to participate in March Madness.

I used to be invited to join the office football pool but never did. I'm like, "How about we just make this easy and I give you my money and get this over with?" The pool was actually more random, like a kind of bingo as far as I could tell, but it would have required me to actually track who won or lost games. I mean, my "lunch money" could have easily been stolen - I wouldn't know if I had won or lost!

 

I literally used to watch "Inside the NFL" each week in desperate hope of absorbing enough information so that I could pass as a man at work. 

 

I literally tried to learn how to golf because I felt obligated to learn it as a man. I thought it was some sort of modern version of swordsmanship - it's something that men have to do. Actually, I still believe that. I finally realized that I can enjoy golfing, but I vastly prefer golfing alone on some unpopular deserted run-down course way past its glory days. 

 

I fear I've drifted off topic LOL! My apologies if I've gone too far astray. 

 

-Timi

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2 minutes ago, Timi said:

I used to be invited to join the office football pool but never did. I'm like, "How about we just make this easy and I give you my money and get this over with?" The pool was actually more random, like a kind of bingo as far as I could tell, but it would have required me to actually track who won or lost games. I mean, my "lunch money" could have easily been stolen - I wouldn't know if I had won or lost!

 

I literally used to watch "Inside the NFL" each week in desperate hope of absorbing enough information so that I could pass as a man at work. 

 

I literally tried to learn how to golf because I felt obligated to learn it as a man. I thought it was some sort of modern version of swordsmanship - it's something that men have to do. Actually, I still believe that. I finally realized that I can enjoy golfing, but I vastly prefer golfing alone on some unpopular deserted run-down course way past its glory days. 

 

I fear I've drifted off topic LOL! My apologies if I've gone too far astray. 

 

-Timi

This is called girl talk.

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3 minutes ago, Timi said:

I used to be invited to join the office football pool but never did. I'm like, "How about we just make this easy and I give you my money and get this over with?" The pool was actually more random, like a kind of bingo as far as I could tell, but it would have required me to actually track who won or lost games. I mean, my "lunch money" could have easily been stolen - I wouldn't know if I had won or lost!

 

I literally used to watch "Inside the NFL" each week in desperate hope of absorbing enough information so that I could pass as a man at work. 

 

I literally tried to learn how to golf because I felt obligated to learn it as a man. I thought it was some sort of modern version of swordsmanship - it's something that men have to do. Actually, I still believe that. I finally realized that I can enjoy golfing, but I vastly prefer golfing alone on some unpopular deserted run-down course way past its glory days. 

 

I fear I've drifted off topic LOL! My apologies if I've gone too far astray. 

 

-Timi

You can get reverse clocked by having certain stereotypical behaviors absent in your behavior.  All the women rush over to ooh and aah over the baby some new mother brought in to have the child oohed and awed over - except for one woman.  The man who knows nothing about how the local baseball team is doing or when they are playing or who the great pitcher is.  The sort of stuff that is used for conversation starting and ice-breaking, because EVERYONE must be a Yankees fan and your response is, are you talking about baseball?

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12 hours ago, Timi said:

I've often reflected about cooking as a culturally-defined gender role. I am of an age that I can remember observing (and learning about) men's roles in the 1960s. If a man could do anything more in the kitchen besides open a can and eat cold food directly out of it, he was usually considered effeminate. I mean - no real man watched the TV show The Galloping Gourmet. (But this "boy" did!) 

 

And yet now, I have family members (in-laws) who are red blooded cis hetero manly MEN, I think transphobic on top of that, one who is older than me, who proudly cook. And I'm not talking about competitive cooking. I'm talking about taking pride in making a meal that the family or extended family gathers around. I'm like wanting to say "You are soooo Martha Stewart" LOL.

 

Interesting thoughts.  I wonder when exactly that started to change?  I also wonder if perhaps Western culture from the 19th century to about 1960 had more rigidly defined gender roles regarding household chores than at other times? 

 

What I find shocking looking back 100 years is how many men were completely lost if their wife left or died.  Like unable to cook, sew, or function.  Almost a kind of learned helplessness, where others had to go to his house and cook and try to take care of him.  Really strange to me, as I'm not particularly bright but I can figure out those basic things. 

 

I have noticed a general difference in "male cooking" vs "female cooking" though.  A lot of women have huge files of recipes, and will follow them exactly.  Men can do this too, but I think not as much.  A lot of men are like my husband - they'll use a recipe only when they absolutely have to.  My husband cooks by instinct - pinches, dashes, plops, splats, and handfuls.  Obviously women can do that too, as my GF cooks that way....a generalization only goes so far.  But it is interesting to watch. 

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