Feminizing Facial Surgery (ffs)

[Guest angie]

Hey Girls,

I post this thread,because this was posed to me a little over four years ago.

I was off on my own for the first time in 23 years.

And had been out for a little over a year.

I had Zero confidence.

And this much older Transwoman had befriended me on the web.

I was of the opinion that the only way i could pass was with FFS.

Correspondingly,i placed a high priority on this part of my transition.

Even before my gender affirming surgery.

My friend(whom i never really met),gave me pause with what she told me.

Robyn said,"Being a whole woman was and is much more important to me than FFS ever could be.

I figured that once i was complete,"IF" i could afford the feminizing surgery,good for me.

But it isn't that important to me."

I thought about our conversation for three and a half years,after my kids killed my computer.

And life took me on a journey i didn't anticipate.

That my friends,is a very long time to contemplate such a life changing question.

When i came home finally,i had reached my decision.

SRS/GAS/GRS...Is far far more imortant to me than FFS ever could be.

If i am not a totally passable girl........SO WHAT.

After surgery...I WILL BE WHOLE.

And IF i can or do have FFS it will be because i can afford it.

And if i never do,I am comfortable with my decision.

By the way,i recently found Robyn again.

I emailed her this very important choice i had made.

And i owed it all to her,and had to tell her so.

Her responce?"It Is Still The Way I Feel Angie."

So My Sisters...What Is Your Priority?

Hugs,Angie.

[Guest Jenny]

once again I agree with you. The GRS is my priority, but I would like to do the FFS as well. It wouldn't make me feel whole like the GRS would, it would for the same reasons any other girl wants to be more beautiful.

[Guest Seren]

Plastic surgery on my face? No thanks!

[Guest Zenda]

Kia ora Angie,

Real food for thought stuff !

"What's close to the ground makes no sight nor sound...but what others see is reality!"

Having GAS may make one feel whole but may not help in ones acceptance into society-that is reaching society's GIRL-[if that's what your heart truly desires] and lets face it...fringe living is not what many trans-people would choose if given the choice]. Having FFS which could greatly help in not having to run the gender gauntlet each day-not having to challenge society's concept of gender would I believe be more benefical in the long run...creating a peace of mind before the point of no return... REMEMBER First impressions count ! The second impression if you get my drift will depend on how you negotiate things-handle it...

Even though at first I 'would have liked' to have had some cosmetic surgery I found I was lucky...I didn't 'need' it...During the very early stages of affirming my gender I was highly critical of my looks and body I wanted my spare ribs removed [males have the extra pair of ribs] I wanted some facial sugery in fact I wanted perfection. However after a few months on hormones physical changes started to occur...and has my body and facial fat migrated and my breasts developed my waist thinned...my spare rib and facial phobia I had gradually disappeared...

If after being on hormones for a while you still 'strongly' feel your looks obstruct your desired acceptance level into main stream society and most importantly...you have the money...Having FFS will greatly improve your mental welbeing and help society acknowledge your true gender identity ie, your appearance will match your feelings and actions...Ah! I've said it...the cliché...[be it in a round about sort of way] YOU WILL THEN CONFORM TO THE SOCIAL NORM !

However if you don't have the finacial means to CONFORM or are HAPPY with the real you-then I guess you just have to make do with the cards Mother Nature dealt you. Whatever one decides all I can say is BE HAPPY WITH YOUR CHOICE... It was along time coming but I now am

Metta Jendar

[Guest Sophie Jean]

A costly procedure, it is necessary to determine if you are really going to need it. Male and female faces are on average so close, it's hard to tell the difference. We are always our own worse critics. My advice to you is to first get practice getting out en femme. Get some makeup lessons, and practice them. If you wind up getting complimented on your appearance, then my dear, save your money. I am. The more I practice, the more I look like my mother, and I was shocked to have someone say I was pretty last night. You'll never truly know until you try.

Hugs,

- Sophie Jean

[Guest Zenda]

Kia ora,

If you google 'male/female facial differences' this UK site gives you an interesting insight into the differences. Ethnicity can plays an important part in whether one passes or not...I did read somewhere it's possible for some Asian or African trans women to pass more easily in a white western society then in their own cultural setting and visa versa.

Metta Jendar

[Zufrieden]

Hi Jendar:

How many ribs do you have?

Us humans (both men and women) have 12 pair, that is 24.

Wikipedia on the Human Rib Cage

And if you were going by the Bible, it would be one pair fewer, anyway.

Z.

[Guest Zenda]

Thanks for that Z [i'm Blushing-I won't have to wear blusher for a week now] I was never good at anatomy...come to think of it I never studied it at school...but what I should have said was female rib cages are approximately 10% smaller than a males...some trans women have had their lower pair of ribs removed to creat a more feminine body shape- 'hour glass shape'.

Metta Jendar

Ps I was hoping you would cut and paste the 'male/female facial differences' website.

[Zufrieden]

Sorry, I wasn't paying attention.

Male/Female Facial Differences

Z.

[Guest angie]

Hey Beautiful Sisters,

Meaning All Of My Sisters Out There In The ETHER.

There are some women that FFS will help a great deal,giving them real mental peace.

Jendar is right and so is SophieJean, Z also.

I call my sensitivety...Hyper Sensitivety.

That is why the mirror and i AREN'T best friends.

I like myself,and in the end that is what is important.Regardless of my flaws.

Ladies thinking about having a rib removed to improve your appearance...DON'T DO IT!!!

The Dang Things Grow Back,no kidding.They regenerate themselves.

I reasearch intensely...All subjects dealing with our transition.DO YOURS.

Make A Wise Choice.Set your own personal priorities,AND SAVE SAVE SAVE YOUR MONEY.

Transition Is Expensive.

My choice was just that,my choice.

Each of us walks a varied path becoming whole.

If you go to a support group,you will see,we come in all shapes heights and body sizes.

I have girlfriends that do not pass,and never will.

But,how each of them feels about themselves is what counts.

My grilfriend Toni,is just such a woman.It is her personality...that makes her accepted.

In Toni's mind...SHE IS ALL WOMAN PERIOD.

I POSED THIS QUESTION TO MAKE YOU THINK.

Plant that seed in your mind,while you are waiting to become whole.

Ladies,If You Can Never Have Surgery...Due To What Ever The Circumstance.

BE HAPPY WITH WHO YOU ARE.

Your Mental Health Is What Is Important.

A Healthy Woman Is A Happy Woman.

Hugs My Loves,

Angie.

[Guest Katie-Louise]

GRS is more important to me having GRS will make me complete and whole. FFS is far less important in my opinion not just because I am young and have a feminine face anyway but because FFS will not make me feel any better about what is down there it wont make me feel complete and whole. I would consider having FFS after GRS only

[Guest angie]

My motivation exactly!

I can get as pretty as i want (after)i become whole.

But i am like Miss Jendar,gifted with being a small woman.

And having the androgynus looks of a mixed race couple.

I pass easily,with nary a second look anylonger.

There are just a few things i want changed anyway.

RhinoPlasty being the one that would make me unreadable.

Also being lucky enough to have a small adams apple helps too(big time)

Hugs Katie-Louise

Angie

[Guest Michelle M]

I think I'm one of the few who would go for FFS before SRS. I think because it takes a year of full time before you can get SRS, and I'm very self conscious. The whole world will see my face for a year, but nobody will be seeing 'down there'. I think generally I care more about what others think about me; before what I think about myself.

[Guest Jenny L.]

I agree with Michelle. I don't see FFS as either/or with respect to SRS... SRS is the goal but it's not reachable immediately. I'm trying to do all I can, as I can.

My current plan is to work on more subtle things (weight loss, electrolysis, voice, hormonal feminization) for the first year of my transition. During this time I'm presenting everywhere other than work as female (doing surprisingly well

After the first year, I plan on having FFS and going F/T (starting the clock on my FTE). A year later, SRS.

Jenny

[Guest silverpetals]

wow. i guess everyone has different view and priorities, but if i really needed it (i'm pre-hrt and not that old, so i expect some changes) then ffs would be MUCH more important to me.

the only thing which might sway my priorities would be the financial cost and the danger of ffs vs. srs, but being socially accepted as a woman (if i needed ffs to not be seen as a 'Transgender' or a man) would totally come before altering parts which basically, nobody is going to see except in intimate situations, and don't matter in very many ways anyway.

i would like to have srs in the future, but i think i would be able to accept myself more if i was a woman in life, than if i was physically female but always taken as male.

just my thoughts

[Guest angie]

Hey Girl,

That is exactly why this question is here...To Make Others Think.

It is each of our own personal journey to wholeness,no matter the path one takes.

That is why me personally,would will and do chose SRS/GRS before anyother proceedure.

The need to be whole versus the need to pass without question takes presidence.

My opinion and my opinion only.

Hugs,

Angie

[Sakura]

hi all

presentation not just pysical looks go play a larg part in how the world precevies you walk talk(and not just the sound but how you use you grammar in all situations and how you speak to ppl of both genders) hand movment sit stand play pool hold your drink at the bar laugh smile ect ect all gos into presentation woman is taught by thier mother and other female rolemodles how to act infront of men other ppl make-up application even table manners is all programmed into the young girl so when she go into the real world she presents out of motor reflex with out thought a beautiful face or a vigina wont help you if you walk like a gorilla or talk with your mouth full and i can already hear every one that reads this post but i do every thing like a female but most really dont i have dozens of trans friends in the reall world and have witnessed countless more in motion for every thing they do right they do 10 things that are distinctly non femm and im not above this iether i still catch my self somtimes and am told when i "mess up " bye other tgirls that have it almost down pat and got lucky my mom was pretty cool with my transition and my sisters so they have hammered into me all this knowlege

i mean even with my usage of hrt at a young age i was raised a man i didnt come out till i was 21 so i was pretty much contaminated by male programming.... and the girls with the idea that i would rather feel whole than pass i have also a few friends that put that same concept first i have seen the aftermath of that first hand brutally depressed after srs because they though thier new part automatically validates them as female and the world will fallow suit.... i have no reall right to post in this forum and sometimes feel like an out sider because chalk this up to vanity or my high self esteem i pass 100 % phisically and 95% pesentation and not just pass but am cosidered a very attractive woman so the only next logical step would be srs and dont seek complments on your looks from other tgirls i mean sure its nice to be complmented but take it with a grain of salt because tgirls are incapable of hurting other tgirls feelings by telling the truth have one or two features better than the average girl and your instantly a goddess sorry im ranting again

a nose job cost about 3 to 4 grand and a brow ridge trim about 6 just those alone do wonders

Jennifer "Sakura" NVM

[Guest Bethany]

Sakura, please dont feel like you are not entitled to post in this forum, I've come to respect you from what I've seen of your posts. Your Down to earth, thought provoking, and honest style can only help everyone.

Currently I am looking at Ffs and Grs as having the same value to me in my transition. I'll have to take a wait and see approach as to which will be more important a little later on.

Bethany