New Daily Post - I have an "emotion of the day" post and lately have been posting emotional aids

[Heather Shay]

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"Even on tough days, remember that you are taking steps towards healing, and that small progress is still progress. Be kind to yourself, and celebrate the little victories along the way.". 

 

Key points to remember:

• Progress is gradual:

  Recovery from depression is a journey, not a quick fix, so be patient with yourself and focus on small positive changes each day. 

   
• Self-compassion is key:

  Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a loved one struggling. 

   
• Acknowledge your achievements:

  Don't downplay small wins; celebrate even the smallest positive steps you take. 

   
• Focus on the present:

  Rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, try to stay present and appreciate the good moments. 

   

 

 

[Heather Shay]

[Heather Shay]

9 Silly Methods for Emotional Regulation That Actually Work

https://static.wixstatic.com/media/583eb7_294e1959af15483e8a6d9b391e9abe80~mv2.png/v1/fill/w_35,h_35,al_c,q_85,usm_0.66_1.00_0.01,enc_auto/583eb7_294e1959af15483e8a6d9b391e9abe80~mv2.pngShenandoah Chefalo

Apr 12, 20236 min read

Updated: Nov 14, 2023

 

Trauma-informed work can be difficult at times. After all, we are talking about trauma—and trauma isn’t fun.

 

 

 

But that doesn’t mean that trauma-informed work can’t be fun. A big part of this work is healing, and a great way to heal is to access our innate need for playfulness.

 

https://static.wixstatic.com/media/583eb7_a88886846eb84efc9086ef52bf7f6eec~mv2.png/v1/fill/w_814,h_611,al_c,q_90,usm_0.66_1.00_0.01,enc_auto/583eb7_a88886846eb84efc9086ef52bf7f6eec~mv2.png

 

By embracing the silliness inside ourselves, we can heal through trauma-informed practices. Being goofy allows us to break reenactments, get out of negative cycles, and reboot our brains. So, today we’re going to explore nine silly methods for emotional regulation!

 

 

 

1 – Cross your toes

 

Brain gym exercises are one of my favorite ways to trick my mind into getting out of trauma mode and back into my body. These exercises present us with physical and mental challenges that require focus, concentration, and body awareness.

 

 

 

My favorite go-to brain gym exercise is crossing my toes. Having trouble concentrating during a meeting? Cross your toes. Feeling your trauma triggered by something someone said? Cross your toes!

 

 

 

No one will know, and it will help you stay present.

 

 

 

Here are some other examples of brain gym exercises:

 

• Pat your head and rub your tummy. Then, switch hands!

• Hold your fists in front of you, palm up. Extend your left thumb and right pinky (the fingers on the left side of each hand). Make a fist. Extend your right thumb and left pinky (the fingers on the right side of each hand). Repeat, going as fast as you can!

• Clasp your hands together in front of you. Without releasing your hands, extend the fingers of your left hand. Clasp again. Extend the fingers of your right hand. Repeat.

• Put your hands in front of you, palms down. Make your left hand into a fist. Extend the fingers on your right hand (as if playing paper, in rock, paper, scissors). Switch so that now your left hand is the paper, and your right hand is the rock. Repeat!

 

 

 

You can find countless brain gym exercise videos online! Discover your favorites, and use them when you need to regulate.

 

 

 

2 – Describe an object in excruciating detail

 

 

 

“A clear plastic water bottle, with droplets of water on the inside, sticking to the walls of the bottle. It has an opaque cap, screwed on securely, and a sky-blue label with a scenic city street on it. There are wavy ridges along the sides of the bottle, and it tapers up towards the cap.”

 

 

 

Writing, speaking, or thinking with this level of detail engages our brains and helps us regulate our emotions when we’re in distress. It works because it draws us into the present, away from the anxiety of the future, away from the trauma of the past.

 

 

 

Describing a plain, normal object with excruciating detail helps us stay grounded and present, which makes it a great method for emotional regulation. When you try this exercise, remember there are no wrong answers!

 

 

 

When describing, see if you can accurately describe an object in the following ways:

 

• Size

• Shape

• Texture

• Scent

• Color

• Sound

• Taste

 

 

 

3 – Huff n Puff

 

When we’re stressed, we might let out a big sigh. A sigh is a natural stress response that helps us relieve some of that mental pressure.

 

 

 

While there are plenty of breathing exercises you could try (alternate nostril breathing, box breathing, belly breathing, etc.), these exercises can feel rigid or restrictive.

 

 

 

Instead, we can try huffing and puffing as a silly way to regulate our breathing and our emotions. To do this, you simply take a deep breath in and sigh it all out.

 

 

 

With this exercise, you can get loud, make funny noises, or make faces. Expressing your emotions this way is extremely healing. Maybe you need to groan in aggravation: “Ugh!” Or, maybe you want to wail in desperation: “Wah!” Instead of using your words, use your sounds, body language, and facial expression to share what you’re feeling, even if there’s no one to witness you except yourself.

 

 

 

4 – Expose Yourself to the Cold

 

This method of emotional regulation is not as pleasant or comfortable as the other ones on this list, but it is effective.

 

 

 

A cold shower (or a hot/cold alternate shower) is a great way for us to regulate our emotions and shock our system into getting back into the present.

 

 

 

You can also ground yourself by dunking your head (or your whole body) in an ice bath. This is the extreme version of splashing some cold water on your face.

 

 

 

If you try this, don’t hold back. When you dunk your head in freezing water, you might “ooh” and “ahh” in pain and surprise. Let yourself experience what it feels like to feel.

 

 

 

5 – Flop Like a Fish

 

Over 17 million adults in the US suffer from major depressive disorder. When you have depression, it can be difficult to get out of bed. But, physical movement is one of the best methods of emotional regulation, and it can help with task initiation.

 

 

 

So, when you’re stuck in bed but need movement, what do you do? Flop like a fish. Wiggle your arms and legs, shake off your stress, and lay in bed, all at the same time.

 

 

 

Will you look ridiculous? Yes. Will it make you laugh? Probably. Will it help? Yes!

 

 

 

This same idea works when you’re upright, but we call that dancing. You can dance to your favorite music or just shake your arms to relieve stress.

 

 

 

You can also go with the standard recommendation: exercise. If you do that, remember that you can shift your idea of exercise to accommodate activities you enjoy. If you don’t like running and weightlifting, you can also try swimming, hiking, jumping rope, playing with your dog, doing yoga, or cleaning the house (especially if you have stairs at home).

 

 

 

Anything that gets your heart rate up and builds your strength is exercise!

 

 

 

6 – Be a Tree

 

Become one with nature in this imaginative emotional regulation exercise. Of course, you can get into the classic “tree” yoga position, but you can also just stand and envision yourself as a tall tree grounded in the earth with deep roots.

 

 

 

For this exercise, close your eyes and imagine you are a tree. Your legs become a sturdy trunk, and your feet become roots that grow into the ground. Then, put your arms up and imagine that you’re swaying softly in the wind. See if you can think of the sound of your leaves or what you might look like to others in your tree form.

 

 

 

Embrace playfulness in this exercise. It’s meant to be calming, but it’s also fun and silly!

 

 

 

7 – Watch the Fight

 

This emotional regulation exercise requires a good dose of self-awareness. For this work, you’ll need to take a step back and listen to your inner voices as though they are not your own (it can be a real challenge, but it is possible).

 

 

 

When you notice negative thoughts in your mind, sit back and watch the fight between your inner critic and inner cheerleader as if you were an audience member. As the observer, you can root for your positive self-talk.

 

 

 

Removing yourself from your thoughts can help you see which thoughts help and hinder you emotionally.

 

 

 

To make this more fun, try to embrace a sports-like attitude. Which team are you betting on? Who do you think will win?

 

 

 

8 – “Disappear”

 

It can be challenging to relax when our minds still feel connected to tasks, stressors, chores, and other responsibilities, but sometimes, we just need to take a break.

 

 

 

For this exercise, we’ll embrace playfulness by pretending we’ve disappeared from this plane of existence entirely. For a short time, we’re going to teleport into an alternate reality: one where stressors don’t exist. While there, we’ll take a break from our reality.

 

 

 

Your alternate reality is yours to create. You might do this by setting the mood with calm lighting, calm music, and no screens. In my alternate reality, I don’t need money to live. It’s just nice to have. My body doesn’t need food to survive. It’s just a nice treat. I don’t need to cook, clean, or plan anything. I can just relax with no demands waiting for me.

 

 

 

This imaginative exercise is especially helpful for those who may struggle to disconnect from work and responsibility and truly relax.

 

 

 

9 – Represent Your Emotions Differently

 

One of the most common—and most useful—coping strategies is to journal. Writing down your thoughts and emotions can be a great way to separate your sense of self from your thoughts and feelings.

 

 

 

To add a splash of silliness to this method, I encourage you to embrace your creative mind and express your emotions differently.

 

 

 

Doodle images. They don’t have to be “good.” They can be a collection of wobbly circles or angry scribbles. Use different colors to represent different emotions.

 

 

 

Or use different words to express your emotions. Sometimes, pinpointing the right word for your emotional experience can be difficult. Instead, use imagery, sounds, and ideas that feel right to you, even if they’re only adjacent to your true emotional experience. Think of words like, blue flames, shaking, or a wet cat.

 

 

 

You can also try stream-of-conscious writing, where the only rule is to keep writing and not stop for a set amount of time, such as 5 minutes.

 

 

 

Trying something new and creating unique experiences is a great way to take care of your mind.

 

 

 

Final Thoughts: Get Silly to Get Serious

 

Accessing silliness can shock our brains enough to get them out of trauma brain mode and push us into executive functioning mode. In short, we can get silly to get serious. This is a part of trauma-informed work!

 

 

 

Being goofy is a way to cope with overwhelming stress and emotionally regulate, so don’t be afraid to say, do, or think things that might make you feel embarrassed or self-conscious. Being silly isn’t the opposite of being professional. Being silly is a way to access and express our emotional experiences in a trauma-informed way.

 

 

 

Ultimately, your healing journey is your own, and you should take what works for you and leave what doesn’t. Tell us, do you already use any of these coping skills? Which ones do you think you’ll try?

[Heather Shay]

[Heather Shay]

[Heather Shay]

Here are some ways to uplift your emotions:

• Exercise: Physical activity releases endorphins, which can boost your mood and help relieve stress. 
   
• Sleep: Getting enough sleep can help improve your mood. 
   
• Practice mindfulness: Meditation, yoga, and breathing exercises can help promote positive emotions. 
   
• Challenge negative thoughts: Use cognitive reappraisal to change the narrative around your thoughts. 
   
• Be thankful: Give yourself credit for the good things you do, and remember your good experiences. 
   
• Spend time with friends: Surround yourself with positive people. 
   
• Eat healthy: Healthy eating can improve your physical and mental health. 
   
• Listen to music: Music can be a powerful way to change your feelings. 
   
• Practice empathy: Share and enjoy the positive emotions of others. 
   
• Forgive yourself: Learn from mistakes, but don't dwell on them. 

[Heather Shay]

AI Overview

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"Opening yourself to change your emotions" means actively acknowledging and accepting your feelings, identifying what triggers them, and then taking conscious steps to manage and shift your emotional state, often through practices like mindfulness, journaling, self-reflection, and healthy coping mechanisms. 

 

Key aspects of opening yourself to change your emotions:

• Acknowledge your feelings:

  The first step is to recognize and name your emotions without judgment, understanding that all feelings are valid. 

   
• Identify triggers:

  Observe what situations, people, or thoughts tend to trigger strong emotional responses, allowing you to anticipate and manage them better. 

   
• Practice mindfulness:

  Be present in the moment and observe your thoughts and feelings without getting caught up in them, allowing you to respond to emotions more calmly. 

   
• Journaling:

  Writing down your thoughts and emotions can help you gain clarity about your feelings and identify patterns. 

   
• Self-reflection:

  Take time to analyze your emotions and understand where they might stem from. 

   
• Healthy coping mechanisms:

  Develop strategies like exercise, relaxation techniques, spending time in nature, or talking to a trusted person to manage difficult emotions. 

   
• Accepting discomfort:

  Understand that changing your emotions can sometimes involve experiencing uncomfortable feelings, but it's important to allow yourself to feel them without getting overwhelmed. 

   
• Seek professional help:

  If you struggle to manage your emotions on your own, consider therapy to gain deeper insights and develop effective coping mechanisms. 

[Heather Shay]

[Heather Shay]

AI Overview

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Emotional safety is the feeling of being valued, respected, and heard. It can be achieved in relationships, at work, and even in therapy. 

 

In relationships

• Respect boundaries: Understand what your partner's limits are and what they expect from you. 
   
• Be an active listener: Show your partner that you care about their feelings by giving them your full attention. 
   
• Be transparent: Share what you feel comfortable sharing, and be honest about your feelings. 
   
• Be empathetic: Show that you care about your partner's well-being and are willing to support them. 
   
• Be reliable: Keep your promises, even when it's inconvenient. 
   
• Avoid judgment: Replace judgment with curiosity. 
   
• Consider therapy: Therapy can help you learn strategies to feel emotionally safe. 
   

At work

• Feel valued: Make employees feel respected and heard. 
   
• Promote diversity: Employees who feel excluded are less likely to feel safe. 
   

 

In therapy 

 

• Be honest: Be honest with yourself and your therapist.
• Be open to learning: Be willing to learn and be challenged with strategies to feel emotionally safe.
• Be willing to take risks: Be willing to show courage to take a risk that feels safe enough for you.

 

 

 

• 7 Ways to Create Emotional Safety in Your Relationship - Psych Central

  Jul 26, 2021 — 7 Ways to create emotional safety in your relationship * Respect boundaries and consent. ... * Pay attention to your ...

  

  Psych Central

   
   
• 10 ways to improve emotional safety in the workplace | Workstars

  Dec 13, 2019 — Promote diversity. Employees who feel excluded for any reason are far less likely to feel emotionally safe. So look at...

   

  Workstars

   
   
• Emotional Safety: What It Is and How to Develop It

  Apr 4, 2023 — Five steps you can do to take towards emotional safety: 1. Share only what you feel comfortable sharing at the time. So...

  

  The Counseling Collective

   
   
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Featured snippet from the web

Create a peaceful space for yourself.Designating a physical place where your mind can relax and feel safe can help you work through the difficult emotions that arise when dealing with abuse. This can be a room in your house, a spot under your favorite tree, a comfy chair by a window, or in a room with low lighting.

[Heather Shay]

[Heather Shay]

Decluttering your emotions can help you feel calmer, more focused, and less stressed. It can also help you improve your sleep and make better decisions. 

 

Here are some ways to declutter your emotions:

• Practice mindfulness: Regularly practicing mindfulness can help you learn to settle down and let go. 
   

• Acknowledge your emotions: Understand if you're overreacting to a problem so you can take steps to manage it. 
   

• Communicate: Bring up things that are bothering you instead of suppressing them. 
   

• Manage your thoughts: Avoid overthinking and trying to focus on too many things at once. 
   

• Practice self-care: Engage in activities you enjoy, eat well, exercise, and get enough sleep. 
   
• Be grateful: Count your blessings and shift your thinking from misery to fulfillment. 
   
• Journal: Writing down your thoughts can help you relax and organize them. 
   

Emotional clutter can come from many sources, including work demands, relationships, and other factors in your life. 

[Heather Shay]

Luck and emotions are connected in a number of ways, including how people feel about their luck, how they act based on their luck, and how they perceive their own luck. 

 

How people feel about their luck 

 

• Optimism: People who believe in good luck are more optimistic and satisfied with their lives.
• Anxiety: People who believe they are unlucky may experience more anxiety.

 

How people act based on their luck

• Taking risks: Lucky people are more likely to take calculated risks and persevere through failure. 
   
• Making decisions: Lucky people use their intuition and gut feelings to make decisions. 
   
• Noticing opportunities: Lucky people are more likely to notice and act on opportunities. 
   

 

How people perceive their own luck

• Self-fulfilling prophecy

  Luck can be a self-fulfilling prophecy, where people's expectations about the future help them fulfill their dreams. 

   
• Learning from experience

  Lucky people learn from their experiences and work to turn bad luck into good fortune. 

   

 

Different religions also have different views on luck and emotions. For example, Muslims believe in good omens and being optimistic, but not in bad omens or superstitions. Buddhists believe that whatever happens is due to a cause, not luck, chance, or fate. 

[Centered_Self89]

On 2/2/2025 at 10:08 AM, Heather Shay said:

Decluttering your emotions can help you feel calmer, more focused, and less stressed. It can also help you improve your sleep and make better decisions. 

 

Here are some ways to declutter your emotions:

• Practice mindfulness: Regularly practicing mindfulness can help you learn to settle down and let go. 
   

• Acknowledge your emotions: Understand if you're overreacting to a problem so you can take steps to manage it. 
   

• Communicate: Bring up things that are bothering you instead of suppressing them. 
   

• Manage your thoughts: Avoid overthinking and trying to focus on too many things at once. 
   

• Practice self-care: Engage in activities you enjoy, eat well, exercise, and get enough sleep. 
   
• Be grateful: Count your blessings and shift your thinking from misery to fulfillment. 
   
• Journal: Writing down your thoughts can help you relax and organize them. 
   

Emotional clutter can come from many sources, including work demands, relationships, and other factors in your life. 

This has helped immensely. I mean these things seems like basic knowledge like you hear about them every now and again from afar but somehow I missed them lol thank you

[Heather Shay]

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"Advocacy to help your emotions" refers to the practice of actively speaking up for your own emotional needs, essentially "self-advocacy," which involves recognizing and expressing your feelings to ensure your emotional well-being is prioritized in various situations, like at work, in relationships, or when seeking support from others; this can include setting boundaries, communicating your needs clearly, and challenging negative thoughts that might impact your emotional state. 

 

Key aspects of emotional advocacy:

• Self-awareness: Recognizing and identifying your emotions accurately. 
   
• Emotional expression: Communicating your feelings openly and honestly to relevant people. 
   
• Boundary setting: Establishing limits to protect your emotional well-being and prevent burnout. 
   
• Positive self-talk: Challenging negative self-beliefs and replacing them with supportive thoughts. 
   

 

Examples of emotional advocacy in practice:

• Saying "no" when needed:

  Asserting your right to decline requests that might overload you emotionally. 

   
• Asking for support:

  Reaching out to friends, family, or professionals when you're struggling with your emotions. 

   
• Setting limits in conversations:

  Disengaging from discussions that trigger negative emotions. 

   
• Seeking professional help:

  Consulting a therapist or counselor when needed to manage complex emotions. 

   

 

Why is emotional advocacy important?

• Improved mental health:

  By advocating for your emotional needs, you can better manage stress and promote overall well-being. 

   
• Stronger relationships:

  Clear communication about your emotions can lead to healthier and more supportive relationships. 

   
• Personal empowerment:

  Taking charge of your emotional well-being can enhance self-esteem and confidence. 

   

 

 

 

[Heather Shay]

AI Overview

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Overcoming emotional fear involves gradually facing your fears and learning to cope with uncomfortable emotions. You can try these strategies: 

 

• Identify your fears: Make a list of situations that trigger your fear and rate how difficult they are. 
   
• Start small: Begin with the least difficult situation and gradually work your way up. 
   
• Practice relaxation: Try deep breathing, yoga, meditation, or other relaxation techniques. 
   
• Challenge your thoughts: Reframe your fear as a challenge or something to be overcome. 
   
• Practice exposure therapy: Gradually expose yourself to the thing you fear until you can tolerate the feeling. 
   
• Talk about it: Reach out to friends and family for support, or consider joining a support group. 
   
• Consider therapy: Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help you learn to cope with your fears. 
   
• Keep a record: Write down when you experience fear and what happens. 
   
• Set goals: Set small, achievable goals for facing your fears. 
   
• Practice mindfulness: Try meditation or other mindfulness activities. 

[Heather Shay]

[Heather Shay]

[Heather Shay]

[Heather Shay]

[Heather Shay]

[Heather Shay]

o emotionally let go, you can try to accept your feelings, practice self-care, and create distance from painful situations. 

 

Accept your feelings 

 

• Allow yourself to feel and experience grief.
• Don't try to ignore negative emotions.
• Be gentle with yourself.
• Accept that you can't change the situation.

Practice self-care Lower your expectations, Engage in activities that you enjoy, and Get enough sleep. 

 

Create distance Create physical distance from painful situations, Shift your focus, Practice mindfulness, and Meditate and visualize. 

 

Seek emotional support 

 

• Share your feelings with friends and family.

• Consider joining a support group or seeking professional counseling.

Learn forgiveness 

 

• Learn from your mistakes.

• Be honest with yourself about how you contributed to a situation.

• Forgive yourself and others.

Observe your emotions 

 

• Acknowledge that the emotion exists.

• Stand back from it and get unstuck.

• Concentrate on how your body is feeling.

[Heather Shay]

Peace of mind is a state of being free of worry, stress, and anxiety. It can be achieved by practicing mindfulness, self-care, and forgiveness. 

 

Mindfulness Meditate to calm your mind and connect with the present moment, Practice gratitude, Live in the present moment, and Accept what you can't change. 

 

Self-care Exercise, Get enough sleep, Eat well, Spend time in nature, and Practice self-love. 

 

 

Forgiveness Let go of hurt and negativity and Forgive others. 

 

 

Other practices 

 

• Journal to process your emotions
• Connect with people you trust
• Spend time alone
• Look at things from a different perspective
• Do acts of kindness
• Listen to classical or ambient music

 

If you're having trouble finding peace of mind, you can try identifying what's stressing you out and taking steps to resolve it. You can also consider speaking with a therapist. 

 

 

Peace of mind can come from feeling safe or protected, and from having a sense of harmony and balance within yourself and with the world. 

[Heather Shay]

Restful thoughts are calming and helpful thoughts that can help you feel more in control of your mind and emotions. They can help you resolve situations more quickly and efficiently. 

 

Examples of restful thoughts: 

 

• "I am allowed to feel how I feel and know things will get better"
• "Sleep is healing, and I deserve to heal"
• "Mistakes made in the past don't have power over my tomorrow"
• "I deserve peace, love, and rest"
• "You are not your past"
• "You're trying your best"
• "Your anxiety is lying to you"
• "It may not have worked out, but you gained wisdom"
• "You can always change your perspective"

How to have restful thoughts: 

 

• Focus on certain thoughts over others
• Try to get into a calmer, more capable state
• Avoid giving in to your emotions or spinning in mental circles

Other ways to rest your mind: 

 

• Take a warm bath
• Listen to music
• Go out with a friend
• Play with and care for pets
• Find a hobby you enjoy
• Try a creative activity, such as writing, crafts, or art
• Volunteer
• Laugh

[Heather Shay]

When depressed, little things can turn things around and build confidence

[Heather Shay]