hi!! i’m alex and i have no clue how this website works.

[derkgof]

hi,, i’m alex, or alexander (i got my name from alex sdv by the way :p) if you wanna call me that! i’m new here and i thought it’d be helpful to talk to other transgender and queer people and get advice and such :D

 

this might be inappropriate to bring up, but i feel as though i should warn people beforehand that i live in an abusive home and struggle with a lot of mental health issues. i have a ton of trauma and i even feel a lot of guilt typing this right now. sorry if i haven’t explained this the best but i hope you can understand

i should also be clear that i have autism and tend to not understand social cues and such, and understanding tone (especially online!!) can be very difficult for me. if you have any questions regarding anything, don’t feel afraid to ask :p 

[Guest]

Just now, derkgof said:

hi,, i’m alex, or alexander (i got my name from alex sdv by the way :p) if you wanna call me that! i’m new here and i thought it’d be helpful to talk to other transgender and queer people and get advice and such :D

 

this might be inappropriate to bring up, but i feel as though i should warn people beforehand that i live in an abusive home and struggle with a lot of mental health issues. i have a ton of trauma and i even feel a lot of guilt typing this right now. sorry if i haven’t explained this the best but i hope you can understand

i should also be clear that i have autism and tend to not understand social cues and such, and understanding tone (especially online!!) can be very difficult for me. if you have any questions regarding anything, don’t feel afraid to ask :p 

Hi,

I think you figured it out. Most, but by no means all, post some kind of intro. And then you just poke around and read topics that interest you, chime in where you feel comfortable. Not much to it. If a Neo-Luddite old curmudgeon like me can feel at home here, anyone can.

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to Trans Pulse, Alex, and thanks for the information you provided.  It really helps us understand you better so we can address your concerns and issues.  We have many people with (current or past) mental health issues here, and the Admins and Moderators are very sensitive to those who do. 

 

Please look around the forums and ask any questions you wish to ask, and join any conversations that seem to interest you.  We will be here to help and support you.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

[April Marie]

Welcome to TGP, Alex!! We're so glad you found us!! Thank you for sharing the info you have about yourself. It takes courage.

 

I hope you will find, as I did, that the forums are filled with information, links and a tremendous number of wonderful people.

 

Join in where you feel comfortable, ask questions or just read and take in the information - whatever makes you happy and helps you on your journey. No pressure here at all.

[Charlize]

Welcome Alex.  I spent much of my life living in fear and ashamed of my feelings as to my gender.  Being here with others who understood and accepted me was certainly important in my movement towards some peace with life.

 

Hugs.

 

Charlize

[Betty K]

Alex that is the cutest kitten you have on your lap! I imagine it must be so comforting to have it with you. In Australia we have a native animal called a wombat, and I have become obsessed with baby wombat videos on Instagram. Here is a baby wombat:

 

 

Anyway, I am sooo sorry to hear about your home life. I grew up in abusive circumstances too, and I totally understand that feeling of guilt you mentioned. Not that you have anything to feel guilty about, but it can be so hard when you love the people who are abusing you. 

 

Coincidentally, I work with young trans people with autism, so I also know about that struggle with social cues you mentioned. And I agree, the internet can make it even harder. Still, I have found the people on TransPulse to be very open and straightforward and, most importantly, caring. I hope you do too.

[Betty K]

Oh, and I do have a question. If you could have one wish, what would it be? Or, if that’s too hard, do you have any goals or hopes for the next few years?

[Heather Shay]

Welcome and I see you've already met some of the amazing people here and have been given answers that I hope will help. Glad you are here.

[derkgof]

hi, sorry there are so many replies to my thread and i don’t know how to fully reply to most of them besides saying i appreciate the support <3 seeing so many older trans people talk about their experiences really helps. 

 

i want to ask people on here if i pass as male or not, should i make another thread for this? or is there one already set up. once again, i’m clueless. i have used forums before, but i’m just unsure as to how this particular one works. 

3 hours ago, Betty K said:

Alex that is the cutest kitten you have on your lap! I imagine it must be so

comforting to have it with you. In Australia we have a native animal called a wombat, and I have become obsessed with baby wombat videos on Instagram. Here is a baby wombat:

 

 

Anyway, I am sooo sorry to hear about your home life. I grew up in abusive circumstances too, and I totally understand that feeling of guilt you mentioned. Not that you have anything to feel guilty about, but it can be so hard when you love the people who are abusing you. 

 

Coincidentally, I work with young trans people with autism, so I also know about that struggle with social cues you mentioned. And I agree, the internet can make it even harder. Still, I have found the people on TransPulse to be very open and straightforward and, most importantly, caring. I hope you do too.

i hate to say it, but the cat photo i’d attached isn’t even mine ☹️ he’s just a reaction image i like to use and i put it there to lighten the mood. BUUUUT,, at my grandmother’s house in turkey we do have kittens. i’ll show you :D

Just now, Betty K said:

Oh, and I do have a question. If you could have one wish, what would it be? Or, if that’s too hard, do you have any goals or hopes for the next few years?

i mainly just want to medically transition, find a nice partner and stuff. maybe pursue music? i think i want to be a GP, but i’m not sure yet. 

[Betty K]

4 hours ago, derkgof said:

hate to say it, but the cat photo i’d attached isn’t even mine ☹️ he’s just a reaction image i like to use and i put it there to lighten the mood. BUUUUT,, at my grandmother’s house in turkey we do have kittens.

Oh well, I don’t have any baby wombats at my house either. I hope you get to visit your grandmother soon before the kittens grow up! I hear in Turkey they have lots of stray cats and sometimes you can make friends with them? That’s what my friend said anyway.

 

4 hours ago, derkgof said:

I mainly just want to medically transition, find a nice partner and stuff. maybe pursue music? i think i want to be a GP, but i’m not sure yet.

Ha, that sounds familiar. Transition and find a nice partner — sounds great. Pursue music — yep. But I would never be able to stick at study long enough to be a GP. I hope you do though. The world needs more trans doctors.

 

4 hours ago, derkgof said:

i want to ask people on here if i pass as male or not, should i make another thread for this?

There is a forum for transition-related stuff but I think it’s ok to post photos here if you want. A word of warning though: I personally think it’s very hard to tell if someone passes or not based on photos, since you can’t hear someone’s voice or see their mannerisms in a photo. 

Is passing very important to you? Is it a safety concern? I don’t pass except rarely, but I have found most people to be very accepting. I do live in the centre of a medium-sized city though. I understand levels of acceptance vary from place to place. 

[Dr. Judith]

Yo, Alex!! I'm functioning pretty well today...but after a TON of counseling, and spinal work, and supplements....and exercise...and better diet (and having gotten out of a dysfunctional family environment (which can trigger negative patterns and upset!!)..."way back when"). I'm guessing that we have some things in common...I have a history of BPD, ADD, PTSD...and probably SOME autism (and I was pretty much clueless about "social cues" and such, e.g., during Jr. High and H.S.), as well as agoraphobia and panic attacks.

 

If I may say so (as both a Dr. and patient), I've found EFT to be very helpful for PTSD and other negative patterns, Propranolol for panic attacks...and Chiropractic bodywork for many things. It also helped to get off junk food (especially sugar), and to take certain key nutr'l supplements on  a regular basis...things like B-complex, fish-oil, Choline and Inositol. In fact, I doubled the dosage of these about a year ago, and my mental functioning seems to have jumped about 100%.

[Dr. Judith]

Just to be clear...I'm not selling anything or trying to recruit patients...or ANYTHING like that...just sharing my experience. 

[Heather Shay]

Welcome Alex and let me say how proud I am to read this, you are indeed brave and I am happy you have written. I am a CPRS (Certified Peer Recovery Support) and that means, I have lived experience of having had trauma, mental and substance abuse issues that I have overcome. You have been through so many things in your life already and are here to tell them. Being open and sharing takes a LOT and it is a HUGE step forward.

Believe me when I say that you are resilient and very capable of making the world know if your uniqueness. There has only been ONE you ever and there will never be another like you. You are special with talents we all need you to share. 

Be compassionate to yourself and know that if I can make it after a long life off dealing with similar things you are going, I am certain you WILL make it.

Asks questions here and you will get honest, loving and affirming answer from people who GET IT.

Hugs

[Petra Jane]

On 11/25/2024 at 7:23 AM, Dr. Judith said:

Just to be clear...I'm not selling anything or trying to recruit patients...or ANYTHING like that...just sharing my experience. 

I hope not, that would be a breech of our T&C's which are policed for the protection of all our members.

[derkgof]

my apologies for vanishing. replying to these things take lots of time for me, so i’m sorry if anyone waited a while for a response :(

 

On 11/25/2024 at 7:21 AM, Dr. Judith said:

Yo, Alex!! I'm functioning pretty well today...but after a TON of counseling, and spinal work, and supplements....and exercise...and better diet (and having gotten out of a dysfunctional family environment (which can trigger negative patterns and upset!!)..."way back when"). I'm guessing that we have some things in common...I have a history of BPD, ADD, PTSD...and probably SOME autism (and I was pretty much clueless about "social cues" and such, e.g., during Jr. High and H.S.), as well as agoraphobia and panic attacks.

 

If I may say so (as both a Dr. and patient), I've found EFT to be very helpful for PTSD and other negative patterns, Propranolol for panic attacks...and Chiropractic bodywork for many things. It also helped to get off junk food (especially sugar), and to take certain key nutr'l supplements on  a regular basis...things like B-complex, fish-oil, Choline and Inositol. In fact, I doubled the dosage of these about a year ago, and my mental functioning seems to have jumped about 100%.

i would honestly take medication for my issues but my parents say antidepressants -expletive- you up and don’t believe i’m autistic. so.. 

 

On 11/4/2024 at 8:51 AM, Betty K said:

Oh well, I don’t have any baby wombats at my house either. I hope you get to visit your grandmother soon before the kittens grow up! I hear in Turkey they have lots of stray cats and sometimes you can make friends with them? That’s what my friend said anyway.

 

Ha, that sounds familiar. Transition and find a nice partner — sounds great. Pursue music — yep. But I would never be able to stick at study long enough to be a GP. I hope you do though. The world needs more trans doctors.

 

There is a forum for transition-related stuff but I think it’s ok to post photos here if you want. A word of warning though: I personally think it’s very hard to tell if someone passes or not based on photos, since you can’t hear someone’s voice or see their mannerisms in a photo. 

Is passing very important to you? Is it a safety concern? I don’t pass except rarely, but I have found most people to be very accepting. I do live in the centre of a medium-sized city though. I understand levels of acceptance vary from place to place. 

 

i just want to pass because being misgendered is very painful and i can’t handle being perceived as a girl on a daily again. gonna attach a photo of myself rq because this is the only one i have. if needed, i’ll attach more.

before you ask; no, i cannot get a short male haircut. my parents have a short temper and are quick to take my belongings off me and yell at me.

 

i appreciate all of your support a lot. once again, sorry for late replies !! 

[Betty K]

8 hours ago, derkgof said:

i just want to pass because being misgendered is very painful and i can’t handle being perceived as a girl on a daily again.

I see a young man when I look at this photo, but that may just be me. Your voice is the main thing that will give you away if you haven’t yet started T.

 

That said, being gendered correctly and passing are two different things. I get misgendered very rarely but I’m sure almost everyone knows I’m AMAB. It is a lot harder for transmasculine folks though, since there are no items of clothing that say “masculine” the way a dress or a skirt (or nails, makeup, hairstyle, etc) say “feminine”. 

Edited November 28 by Carolyn Marie
Fixed a typo for the OP.