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By Lilis · Posted
So, would it be fair to frame it this way? All the medical and scientific research seems to suggest that being transgender means I was born with a handicap. Meanwhile, @VickySGV argues that focusing on our shared humanness is a more effective approach to advocacy in combating 'gender ideology.' Is that right? How about a well rounded advocacy strategy that might incorporate both? Leveraging scientific research when necessary while prioritizing human connection and lived experiences to drive cultural acceptance. -
By awkward-yet-sweet · Posted
Ugh. The snow is coming back! I thought we already went through the coldest part of the year, but apparently this storm is going to bring a nearly record-setting cold for this date. Probably getting at least a foot of snow, and maybe lower than -5 overnight Tuesday and Wednesday. I really, really, really want to just hide in my nest. I'm not meant for this. My arctic GF and her 5 little clones are probably going outside to scamper and revel in it. I have at least been successful at convincing my GF that she should stay home from work. Even with the new cardiac stent, she's been insisting she's able to go back, but the fatigue is noticeable. My husband will be home for a little while tomorrow, since his company canceled most tasks for the next couple of days so people can stay home to take care of their families. But once the snow starts falling he's probably going to be dealing with emergency stuff part of the time. He's already got his county-issued Humvee ready to go. My sister is planning to be on duty, and has switched her usual patrol car for a 4x4. With so many kids at home, it probably means less time for me to nap and stay warm... -
By awkward-yet-sweet · Posted
I both give and take. But I often warn people that my advice may be worth what they paid for it... -
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By Betty K · Posted
You’re welcome. I hope TransPulse helps you as it has helped me. -
By Samantha Rose · Posted
It sounds like we share a lot of the same experiences and preferences. It is nice to be in a place where I can meet more People like me. Thank You for taking the time to share Your thoughts with a Newbie. -
By Betty K · Posted
You’re welcome. Growing up in the 70s and 80s with a healthy dose of unrecognised, suppressed dysphoria and a severe degree of bullying and stigmatisation within my family attached to my gender nonconformism, I also am frequently amazed at how far we’ve come. Just to be able to walk down a city street in broad daylight without being harassed feels like luxury to me even now. Unfortunately I feel, when it comes to sexuality, we have an especially long way to go. As a transfemme who is exclusively attracted to men, I am painfully aware of the amount of shame most men attach to being attracted to someone like me. It takes an effort not to let that shame rub off on me, but I’m trying. -
By AllieJ · Posted
In regards to dysphoria, I doubt many people or trans care professionals really understand it. For most of my life I suffered with dysphoria, even when nobody around me kew I was trans. When I was young I tried to understand why I had compulsions to engage in feminine things, and through puberty I realised that my internal view of myself was at odds with my birth sex. I realised then it was this incongruence which resulted in my dysphoria, but in 1967, there was no terminology for any of this. Through my teens I learned that affirming activities reduced my dysphoria, and this gave me a strategy to manage my life. I came out at age 65 and was universally accepted and supported, but this did nothing to alleviate my dysphoria, which was very strong by then. Starting HRT and living full time made a significant difference, but when my HRT failed me (inexperienced endo), my dysphoria increased. I was surprised by how much my dysphoria was reduced after my GCS. Almost gone. I realised then that my genitals were my biggest trigger for dysphoria. I struggled to find a descriptor much of my early life, and as I learned, it changed. Then I realised I never fit neatly into boxes, so I stopped trying. After six decades of studying myself, and others, and lots of reading and talking to hundreds of other trans people, I have come to the conclusion that all trans people have dysphoria, but not everybody recognises it. it changed for me with life events, and at times I didn't feel it, but I realised that even while it was benign, it was still there. Not as a profound feeling, but as background 'noise' which was easily covered by other events. This 'noise' would just prevent me from enjoying other things fully, or add to other frustrations. I also started to realise that Dysphoria is a reaction to incongruence, just as euphoria is. It is akin to pulling your hand away from a flames that are burning you, or moving closer to the flames when it is cold. A natural reaction more than a mental disorder... Hugs, Allie -
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By awkward-yet-sweet · Posted
Actually, no. Its a good song, and sadly it always seems to remain relevant. -
By Samantha Rose · Posted
Thank You for explaining that. It does make sense and I can see how this would help. For me it was never about access to health care but about the stigmatization of anyone not following gender norms. Today it is so. much better than when I was young. It is easy to see that we have not come far enough, but we often forget how far we have actually come. I still suffer from societally instilled distaste for my sexuality. It sometimes gives me tunnel vision, that is why it is refreshing to hear new ideas suck as Yours. Thank You again. -
By Betty K · Posted
Hi Samantha. The way I see it, while a certain amount of dysphoria may be inevitable in some people, dysphoria could be largely avoided if trans folks were accepted, affirmed, and given access to medical treatment earlier. For eg, I know a trans child who has never known friction around her gender; the moment she told her parents she was a girl they accepted her and did not push against her. She is still very young so chances are she may experience dysphoria in puberty even with access to medication, but then again if that medication is delivered in a timely fashion she may not, or at least that dysphoria may not be extreme. The real problem arises, imo, when people are made to wait for treatment or to prove themselves worthy of it, especially by suffering a certain level of distress. For eg, in my country it is possible to access early release of superannuation on compassionate grounds to cover gender-affirming surgeries, but only if you can find a psychiatrist to testify that you are suffering. Well, why not just let people the access the money *before* they start to suffer, if at all possible, or at least before the suffering becomes critical? That, to me, is an example of the government and medical profession prioritising cure over prevention. -
By Samantha Rose · Posted
Thank You for saying what You did. I am almost constantly sliding up and down the scale (or spectrum). Sometimes I feel like I am on a roller coaster NOT a spectrum. And like the roller coaster I swing wildly from fear to excitement. Right now my life is in one of those points where I am going up hill slowly and hearing that clack clack clack of the cogs... waiting for the drop. -
By Samantha Rose · Posted
You are so right about Family being the hardest part. I feel like such a coward not being able to confront my feelings with my Family. I find it so much easier to open up to strangers, than my Family. Every time I try, I face years of built up lies and resistance. I think if there was only one thing in my life I could change, it would be to overcome my fear of the reactions of my Family, if I was finally able to come out completely. -
By Samantha Rose · Posted
I found Your comment interesting, but I am not sure I understand what You mean about our medical system being focused on prevention. Can You please elaborate?
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