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Today I confessed to my friends that I was non-binary, and it did not turn out well, they yelled at me and told me I can't be in there friend group anymore, I guess that's kind of a good thing? They were kind of mean to me in the first place, but now I just feel... alone, looking for support and advice  

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That sux.  But I think you're better off without those people.  Being alone is hard, but being with bad "friends" is even harder.  Especially if they were unkind in the first place, best to just leave them alone.  One thing I've learned is that when going through hard times, it is then that you find out who your TRUE friends are.  The rest of the folks around you just end up being people you happen to know, rather than real friends.  And it is better to know this early, rather than later.  

 

My husband is fond of this quote from George Washington, and I think it is useful:

 

"Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence—true friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo & withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation." 

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2 hours ago, rain-falls said:

Today I confessed to my friends that I was non-binary, and it did not turn out well, they yelled at me and told me I can't be in there friend group anymore, I guess that's kind of a good thing? They were kind of mean to me in the first place, but now I just feel... alone, looking for support and advice  

My Little Rain-bow 🌈🌈 I’m sorry that this didn’t turn out well. I’m sorry I wasn’t available earlier to support you I’ve been in quite some pain lately. I’m happy you were able to look at a positive and realize they weren’t that nice anyway. It still hurt I’m sure please know that it will get better and that the right people who love you and support you for who you are will enter your life and never judge you or leave you feeling unaccepted. I’m sorry again I could be there for you earlier.

Your Nonbinary Buddy 

Silo

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9 hours ago, rain-falls said:

I guess that's kind of a good thing?

 

It's better to know the truth. I think it's going to feel more like a relief and less painful. Give it some time. It's only natural you'd feel hurt by this. But be aware they reacted to their own ignorance and not to you. That is, it was their fears which they projected onto you as a scapegoat which they yelled at, not the real you. So, it's a pity for them. Still, it doesn't feel good and I am sorry you went through that. Can you write a bit about how it feels to be out, though? To no longer feel like you had to tiptoe around your own truth? To no longer be burdened by the worry about what these so-called friends might think of you if you told them the truth? In other words, try your best to focus on the positive aspects of this encounter. You are free. Being torn from previous circumstances is painful. But you will heal in time. Now, you must be kind to yourself. We are all here for you. I know it's different than having friends around you in real life. But we understand and respect you and value your confidence. And I recall you had mentioned in another post there is at least one ally at your school. Now may be a good time to open up to them. Really and truly, congratulations on being brave and truthful. It did not have the consequences you may have dreamed about, but there are MUCH better things in store for you.

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I hope you feel very proud and empowered by advocating for yourself. The fallout is unfortunate, but secondary to the fact that you are taking your life in your own hands and defining the way you exist in the world.

 

Some of those people may come back around after their young minds have had time to process the news, but even if they don't I hope that having a lighter spirit will help guide you to connections new. In the meantime, can you dive into anything creative to help you process your feelings? Music, art, poetry or journaling?

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Yea I agree with others. If your friends kicked you out of their group because of your gender identity then this is probably for the best. There are more understanding people in the world who will be with you for the long haul. You've just got to find them :)

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