Coming .. partially out, and ending up with a date!

[AinsleyTG]

Well I finally decided to tell Michael (the boy whose been into me since we met) that I'm trans. Considering how we felt about eachother I didn't think it was fair to keep hiding it. And I was also SURE that he wouldn't react violently. 

Apparently he suspected I was keeping SOMETHING big from him, although he said he couldn't be sure if it was this, having been a rape victim in the past, or something else relating to abuse.  He said he knew it couldn't be a parent abuse issue, spending nearly all his time with us for over a month now. 

Apparently he decided weeks ago that he didn't care! I had an anxiety attack while telling him and needed one of my xanax I'm prescribed, a as I felt like I couldn't breathe. But his response had me calmed down quickly.

There's no way to know how it will go, but both of our parents are taking us out for our first date Friday night. The 2 sets of parents part was my idea, I.. trust him, but experience taught me to be paranoid and plan. And I KNOW dads going to want to meet his parents before he even considers letting us go out alone lol. I'll make dinner for everyone at our apartment, then we'll go to the movie theater. Well Michael will probably help me, he has the last 2 times I cooked for us here at home, most recently last night. 

Mom took me to have my hair curled after school and I used part of a gift card on a new dress. I saw one I liked the last time I was at the mall but didn't get it then. I was with Michael last time getting chocolate covered strawberries, and I dunno why, but shopping for clothes with him there felt weird.   

So.. first date tomorrow night, and with a guy I was into immediately, and whose become my male best friend. I feel like a different person than the Ainsley living in the bible belt. A normal life.. damn this is nice!

And yes I know, no first relationship is permanent. Thats ok. Actually having a guy be interested was what I needed as a confidence boost. 

[MaeBe]

🫶☺️🫶

[Betty K]

Omg this is all so heartwarming! Both sets of parents going on the date too. You have really brightened my day @AinsleyTG. Thank you for sharing and may you all have a wonderful time.

[Charlize]

That sounds wonderful!  Have as great time!

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Vidanjali]

Thank you for sharing this, @AinsleyTG! Such beautiful news! So much love!

[Ivy]

Wow.  This sounds wonderful.

[AinsleyTG]

I wasnt as nervous as I expected last night, but I guess that makes sense, the truly nerve wrecking moment came before the date lol. It probably also helped that we've been together pretty much all day and nearly every day for over a month now.. except for the dance team  sleepovers obviously.  

He showed up with a single rose,  and everyone talked for about half an hour,  then I made Indian food for dinner (as a nearly vegetarian I like their food as most dishes are vegetarian), and he helped again.  We saw the 3rd sonic movie, not as good as the first one by the way, but still good. After the movie everyone went back to our apartment and even both sets of parents joined in for Mario kart on the switch before he and his parents went home. And dad's fine with just the 2 of us going out now, or to quote him "damn, I guess i can't show the boy my shotgun for intimidation. I was looking forward to that." 🤣

[awkward-yet-sweet]

Yay!  Glad it is going well.  Yeah, some first relationships don't last.  But... some do!  Just enjoy it as it happens, and maybe you'll end up with one of those slow-to-start romances that ends up exactly the way you want it to. 

 

[AinsleyTG]

My older sister warned me that things might be a little uncomfortable after our first date for a day or 2, but that hasn't happened. Nothings changed really. I still kick his butt in Mario kart and he still stomps me in fighting games on the switch as we joke with each other after school, and he and 2 of his friends still eat lunch with our group of the dance team and cheerleaders at school. Nothings awkward, it's just as a couple now. I'm guessing that's because we already spent most of our time together starting from the first week we met. The uncomfortable part will likely come if/when anything physical happens in the future. 

 

[MaeBe]

Interesting that there was an assumed awkwardness after the date. I can’t imagine that happening unless it wasn’t a good one, but given your report on it that’s not the case. Did your sister expand on why she thought it might be uncomfortable?

[AinsleyTG]

Just now, MaeBe said:

Interesting that there was an assumed awkwardness after the date. I can’t imagine that happening unless it wasn’t a good one, but given your report on it that’s not the case. Did your sister expand on why she thought it might be uncomfortable?

She said that taking something from friends to a relationship can make spending time together a little uncomfortable  at first since the interaction changes. 

[awkward-yet-sweet]

Just now, AinsleyTG said:

She said that taking something from friends to a relationship can make spending time together a little uncomfortable  at first since the interaction changes. 

 

I guess?  But sometimes couples who are friends first end up being the most successful.  My husband and GF grew up together, and when they talk about their teenage years they can't really remember a tipping point when they stopped being "just friends" and it became more. 

 

You did have a well-defined first date, and it wasn't awkward.  So, that's good news!  Its fine to get relationship advice from folks who are older and have more experience, but remember that you're also charting your own path and that advice is often worth only what you paid for it.  I'm glad things are going well for you!

[AinsleyTG]

She was probably basing this on the guy friend she dated at 16, and they had a few days where it was weird for them. That was just 3 years ago so I remember it

[MaeBe]

The adage “your mileage may vary” seems quite apropos considering... ☺️

 

I’m glad you didn’t have to suffer a similar fate. And I can’t believe what I’m typing, but “what @awkward-yet-sweet said”. 🙃

[AinsleyTG]

We have our 2nd real date tonight. We're going to bowl and shoot pool, and we'll have bar food for dinner. And dad's letting us go by ourselves. The rule is respond immediately (within 5 minutes) when he texts to check on me. 

 

I'm going to beat him in pool tonight. I have my own cuetek 19 ounce stick with a customized grip and a specialty tip that's been shaped for English for 2 hours. I frustrate adults in pool halls with 3 and 4 rail bank shots lol.

We had a pool table in the old house in TN, so I grew up learning how to shoot standing on a stool.  We don't have room for it in the new apartment in Cali so we had to sell it when we moved. 

 

But I can't be too mean to him, I'll show him the tricks of where to strike the cue ball for various effects before we begin, and teach him that a soft shot is more accurate than a hard one. I know guys don't like losing at anything lol.

 

Before I have mom take me there I'm going to do something I've never done before - use the strawberry scented bubble bath and shampoo i got last week at the mall. I'm usually a dove soap and suave shampoo quick shower girl to be honest.  I just want to feel as attractive as possible tonight. I dunno if that's weird but 🤷‍♂️. I used my prepaid card for clothes again to get another dress (blue this time) and purse i saw on Amazon. I've been buying a lot of blue stuff lately so I wanted a blue purse to go with them.  I've still got $320 on the card for more stuff as needed. Mom knows i prefer to shop slowly, find stuff I really like and get 1 at a time. The exception was the Disney store, its called the princess collection for a reason 😉.

[AinsleyTG]

Ok time for the date, moks ablut to dake me to the bowling alley

[AinsleyTG]

Well he's better at bowling and I'm better at pool, so the night was well balanced with each person winning at something plenty. 

An hour in we ran into another couple from school  we're friends with so it became a double date. Dinner ended up being a junk food buffet for 4- fries, cheese sticks, nachos, and onion rings. 

After dad picked us up we streamed Hulu until he had to go home. At around 9  I discovered the boyfriend body pillow. I wasn't comfortable with being touched before but I'm so over that one now. If his mom hadn't arrived at 930 I'd have been asleep by 10 guaranteed. I didn't imagine that just leaning against him would be that relaxing, but it sure as hell was.

He was here again this morning and just left, it's the dance team sleepover night, so girls only lol. Dad's about to order the pizza now that everyone's arriving

[awkward-yet-sweet]

Pool, conversation, junk food, and snuggles.  Sounds like a perfect evening!  I'm basically still doing that on the weekends even though I'm married and in my 30s. Growing up is optional! 😁  Glad you're enjoying these good times!

[AinsleyTG]

On 3/30/2025 at 1:25 AM, awkward-yet-sweet said:

Pool, conversation, junk food, and snuggles.  Sounds like a perfect evening!  I'm basically still doing that on the weekends even though I'm married and in my 30s. Growing up is optional! 😁  Glad you're enjoying these good times!

Yeah i can't think of a better date, but that's probably because this was the first time that physical contact with a guy doesn't = fear of being hit. .. or actually being hit. 

Decided to respond to this sneakily in class lol 

[AinsleyTG]

After school today we're  going to a pool party for someone's birthday in our grade. 

Then at 8 I'm racing go carts with Michael at an indoor track, then playing black light mini golf for our 3rd actual date (I don't count the afternoons we're together after school). Dad's off work this afternoon/tonight, so he'll pick us up from the pool party for the date.

[AinsleyTG]

And it's cake and pool party time, then pizza, go cart racing, and mini golf date time. 

Damn it didn't take long to go from being a loner in the south to party time out west lol

[AinsleyTG]

We've both basically lived in a pool since Friday (minus dates and school). Michael gets a little bored with it but he knows I'm trying to learn to actually swim swim now instead of just float and doggy paddle lol. We're at lunch now and he poked me in the ribs on the bored comment. He knows I post stuff here since I now post here when I'm with him as well as when I'm alone. It doesn't bother him, he likes that I have some kind of online community to talk to. 

Anyway time to eat then sit though science class. Ugh science 🤮. Fourtinately he likes it so I have help

[AinsleyTG]

Well I had my first kiss last night, and second, third, and I stopped counting lol.  2 days ago we discussed where the stop point is, and I told him that I'm not ok with anything past kissing. He said "you lead so I never mess up." It took a day to work up the nerve to be the one to kiss him, but now that we've finally reached this stage after 2 months of being into eachother, it's way more relaxed. I'm so relaxed that I haven't taken even 1 of my xanax in peobably a week. I still carry 1 with me everywhere like I was told to do, but now it just sits there unused. I think I'll create the term "boyfriend therapy" for this 🤣. Feeling "normal" is definitely a new experience that is amazing, but honestly he's made me feel this way since we met, long before the first date. 

Anyway now for martial arts class in about 10 minutes. 

[Carolyn Marie]

I'm very happy for you, Ainsley.  I wish for you every happiness with this young man, who seems very nice. 

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

[MaeBe]

I love reading these wholesome updates from you, Ainsley. Given from what you told us you experienced historically, the "normal teenage" stories make me so happy for you. Also, it's nice to read that the boy seems to be treating you and your burgeoning relationship with respect--you have to adore that.

 

Wishing you many more days of happiness with your beau,

MaeBe