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  1. Today
  2. Jani

    The Emergence of Michelle_Kitten

    This is nice Michelle. We can all be an inspiration to someone, whether we know it or not. Jani
  3. michelle_kitten

    The Emergence of Michelle_Kitten

    A friend at work today sent me a message he wanted to talk to me. I was leery, because he can talk on and on, and lecture if he thinks someone's done something incorrectly. Sigh. I asked him what he wanted to talk to me about and he replied, "Nothing. Just something personal." Okay. Well, that's sounds better than, "You should have done..." So, after my shift was over I went by to see him. He said, "I have to thank you." "What for?" I asked. "Because, of you I went and got help for something that's been a problem for a while and I was too embarrassed to get help." Of course, at this point my mind is going. Is he gay? Is he trans too? He is a bit effeminate. "What's happened?" I asked. He tells me he's been feeling really run down, and sleeps away his weekends for some time. He went to the doctor, and they diagnosed him with low-T. He's on hormones now, and may end up on estrogen blockers as well. That's exactly why I have been open about my transition with folks. I believed if I was living a lie, by coming out others might find the courage to stop living lies as well. I am very happy about this. I am glad he is getting help.
  4. Yesterday
  5. AJ Baumann

    New to Community

    Thanks gennee. It is nice to find supportive community 💚 AJ
  6. Nivegnal

    I want to be prepared...

    I ponder what I would really do if it all was just handed to me tomorrow. Would I jump in both feet or not. It’s easy to say you want this or that and different when you can actually get it. I know this well enough. I’m not in a hurry to have more surgery. SRS is not on my scope but seems like a possible step. Like you I’m more interested in an orchy and shed my T. But I’m still healing from my last tangle with a scalpel. Before I go on with that I want to understand my feelings and place in all this. I’m hoping the therapist can show/teach/explain what’s what and why.
  7. NB Adult

    I want to be prepared...

    Back in the early 1990's I was fortunate being in a VA related counseling program for PTSD issues. My counselor was in a long term lesbian relationship, so when I broached the subject of what I intended to accomplish as a trans person, she had no qualms about writing me all the necessary letters. Prior to that I had been seeing Dr. Anne Lawrence, I know some people detest her, but she saw fit to put me on feminizing HRT and she also wrote me a letter of recommendation for SRS. Later it turned out that the endocrine specialist at the local VA hospital knew Anne, and he bought into my plan to transition and set me up for free meds. He also wrote me a letter recommending an orchiectomy and or SRS as I had complained about having to take Spironolactone as a testosterone blocker. So when I hooked up with Dr. Bowers I had both feet in the door but in the finale analysis decided that it wasn't the ultimate panacea for me. The reason I blathered all this past history out is that I felt at the time that if anything that you desire to accomplish is really valid and that important to you, then you will be manipulative and as devious as necessary to achieve what you need to. I am a bit embarrassed by putting all this out there, because in the end I dropped the ball entirely and in retrospect I have to concede that we should take our time going through the process step by step and not try to circumvent the system. It is what it is for our own good.
  8. Nivegnal

    I want to be prepared...

    I am hoping to feel “the weight” lifted. It is nice to know there are those here that understand.
  9. Nivegnal

    Came out to my wife

    I wish you all the best with your conversations and your marriage. The first time I came out to my first wife it was easy and she was totally supportive. We shopped together and she taught me make up. It was wonderful. Then we got divorced a year later and my world crumbed. She eventually couldn’t do it any longer even though I was not truly out still being in the military. Still a guy in public and at work or every where outside our home. ot was crushing. Having to go deep in hiding again. I almost took my life. My fear of this happening again is crippling. I hope to work through my fear and one day tell my wife now. Good luck this weekend ❤️
  10. Amanda Thomas

    Can it be "too late" to be transgendered?

    Thank you for your kind support Jani. More and more, I'm reaching the point that I realize I can't go back to my old life no matter what I do. Strangely, this is a source of courage. I have to move forward now and I feel a strange sort of calm knowing that my transition is beginning no matter what I try to do to stop it. It seems I am not letting my fear stop me from living anymore.
  11. I don't know much about Italian protocols in therapy but hopefully you can search online for therapists. Might there be a society that they belong too (such as the APA) to search for members and qualifications? I googled "therapists in Italy" and found this. https://internationaltherapistdirectory.com/listings/italy-1/ Jani
  12. I love cars and all things automotive. I used to race a dedicated car; high strung race engine, full safety cage, trailered, etc. While I no longer race since I don't have the stamina I do still have a small fleet of vehicles that I love. I have a well equipped shop to play in. I also love to cook and sew, always have. While I once fretted over my "male-centric" hobbies I've found it to be a non issue. Enjoy what you do. Jani
  13. Jani

    I want to be prepared...

    I was terribly nervous going in and walking on air on the way out as I had finally unburdened my soul to someone. This will hopefully be a good thing for your too. Jani
  14. Jani

    Came out to my wife

    This was me too so you're not alone. I found it difficult to explain to my wife something I couldn't explain to myself. Counseling helped me a lot. All my best. Jani
  15. NB Adult

    Came out to my wife

    Being willing to sit down and talk through all of the issues she has is critical.
  16. Jackie C.

    Came out to my wife

    Best of luck Sara! My conversation was a little different from what you're going to have, but Susan and I are closer now than we've ever been before. Over the weekend she was telling an old friend how much more pleasant I've been to have around the house since I've started transitioning. Note here is that I'm OUT out. I present as female all the time, I'll happily answer questions to the best of my ability and I'm not ashamed of being transgender. I'd rather I wasn't mind you, but I think part of being trans is making the most out of a difficult situation. Your wife sounds like a wonderful and caring individual. You're still the person she fell in love with, you're just sharing a little more of yourself. I think it's telling that you came out to her and she stuck around. I think you'll be OK. Hugs!
  17. SaraAW

    Came out to my wife

    @Nivegnal My wife is still upset I hid it from her. What she can’t grasp is that I wasn’t ready to tell her as I had almost no answers at the time and was really feeling shame. We have had only very brief conversations since as we have had people staying with us almost non stop since the initial conversation. I honestly don’t know that I would I have really done a whole lot different if I could have a do over. It was one of the most stressful things I have ever done in my life. It took everything I had to bring it into the light. I am still stressed about it both the situation with my wife and the fact I am not out to anyone else other than my therapist, my GP and my endo. I am going to have a much more in-depth series of conversations with my wife this weekend, as we are finally going to have some alone time. We will see how it goes. I wish you the best of luck in coming out to your spouse. Everyone is different and will handle the news in their own way. You may end up with a super supportive partner. *hugs* Sara
  18. Carolyn Marie

    I want to be prepared...

    This thread might be useful to you, too. Please try to relax about this appointment, hon. The therapist's job is to put you at ease and help you. https://www.transgenderpulse.com/forums/topic/13018-is-your-therapist-qualified/ Carolyn Marie
  19. Jackie C.

    MaleVsFemale dominate hobbies

    Hrm, I'm an avid tabletop RPG gamer. That's pretty male dominated, but I cherish all my sisters in the hobby. This one is a little interesting because I've noticed that men and women play very differently on average and my play style has always been more feminine. Though two of my favorite female friends from high school used to play as well. Bazillion hours of video games. I'm bad enough that I REFUSE to play a game that forces me to play as a male. At least since embracing who I actually am. I'm just not interested in fictional guy time. I've had more than my fill of guy time. My play style is pretty feminine here too. I prefer social games with friends to shoot 'em ups or war games. I'm a pretty skilled computer technician. That's traditionally male-dominated. I know women in the field, but they're very much in the minority. I'm an amateur herpetologist. I adore snakes and reptiles, even if the climate up here is terrible for husbanding them. Other than that... I've always loved to cook. I have a deep, burning need to have cats in the house despite my allergies. I avidly read science fiction, fantasy and horror... as does my wife. I'm an anime junkie ... so is my niece. So yeah, not really a girly-girl, but pretty darn girly. Hugs!
  20. Debra Michelle

    Good morning All. Coffees on.

    It is restitution,he will have to pay it back
  21. Debra Michelle

    A couple months till my GCS

    Luckily my mom's OB/GYN doctor is going to check on the results after it's done.Talked to her and said she does this this.
  22. DeeDee

    Happy Birthday's

    Thank you so much Timberwolf! 🧡
  23. Nivegnal

    Came out to my wife

    Your story has touched me deeply. I am not out and still quite naive on how much my wife know or guesses about me. I suspect she knows something is “off”. But she has not questioned me once. I am scared to death of this conversation and have hidden myself in fear of it daily. I secretly hope to be caught somehow to force me into it but then again that’s being selfish as I should have the courage to tell her. She deserves that much. I read through all the letters to XXX on coming out and I feel this is a good way for me too. I would just stammer and blubber and cry. out of the two of us she is the more dominate. Very little emotion. Very logical and business like. I’m the cry baby. I hope one day I can get past this stage. She is the only one I fear to tell. Most of my family is out of state and I rarely talk with them. My parents have passed. I have two kids and I’m ok letting them know when I do come out. my wife is my world and I am so afraid to hurt her or worse loose her.
  24. This has been on my mind for years. I still live almost entirely as a male (ugh) and enjoy certain things I was raised to think of as male hobbies. I know in this day and age things have evened out tremendously with them but it’s still a feeling. A hard, driven in, stereotype I’m trying to get past. I feel like I shouldn’t like these things anymore because it’s what I did as a guy. Now for instance I love to shoot guns and bows and hunt with both. I’m a fairly accurate shot with all manner of weapons but admittedly a terrible hunter. When I am successful I feel so bad for the animal. I respect them and never waste but I have cried more then a few times once finding one I have gotten. I mean Balling. Lol However the hunting seasons were my only “out of the house” dressing up I have done.. Easy to wear almost anything feminine under all your 2xl camouflage outerwear. This includes larger breast forms and hip padding. Another things is Icefishing. Other then my daughter I don’t know one female that enjoys this. She just like being with “Daddy” and has picked up almost all my hobbies. Which I am thankful for. But she doesn’t know her Dad would rather be her Mom. Don’t even get me started with video games. 100s of hours invested in those. I like it best to play as a female character which kinda weirds out my kids and wife. Lol Golf. Yes while it is definitely not just a male hobby it’s tough to see all the ladies on the coarse wearing all those cute outfits n I’m dressed as a guy. Just saying..., (btw I suck at golf too. He he he) Do any of you struggle with these feelings enjoying a hobby that’s always been male dominated?
  25. Jackie C.

    A couple months till my GCS

    Congratulations! I'm very happy for you. I'm scheduled for February so maybe we can whine about recovery together in the aftermath. Hugs!
  26. Debra Michelle

    A couple months till my GCS

    A couple months till my GCS in January 2020.In 2001 I decided not to have it and changed my mind.Thinking about it,I did regret my decision a little bit.Good thing is my husband is supportive,we talked about this.He will always love me regardless.My 2 sons,Aaron and Tyler are supportive.My parents are going to be there with me when I have it done.Supportive,they are going to see their daughter become complete.I am going to have the vaginoplasty,6 inch depth and know it's not reversible.Talked to someone that had it and no regrets ever since seeing her results,looks like the real deal.I am real excited
  27. Nivegnal

    I want to be prepared...

    It’s kind of how I envisioned it to be. But still nervous all the same. I’m not “out”. I’m not sure what I feel or what I am inside. On the outside I’m still all “guy”. Which I know is not terrible but not me. I hope I get some answers even if they are not what I wanted to hear. Thank you ladies. You both have been very helpful to me and I appreciate it more then you know❤️
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  • Posts

    • Jani
      This is nice Michelle. We can all be an inspiration to someone, whether we know it or not.   Jani
    • michelle_kitten
      A friend at work today sent me a message he wanted to talk to me.  I was leery, because he can talk on and on, and lecture if he thinks someone's done something incorrectly.  Sigh.  I asked him what he wanted to talk to me about and he replied, "Nothing. Just something personal."  Okay.  Well, that's sounds better than, "You should have done..."  So, after my shift was over I went by to see him.   He said, "I have to thank you." "What for?" I asked. "Because, of  you I went and got help for something that's been a problem for a while and I was too embarrassed to get help." Of course, at this point my mind is going.  Is he gay?  Is he trans too?  He is a bit effeminate.  "What's happened?" I asked. He tells me he's been feeling really run down, and sleeps away his weekends for some time.  He went to the doctor, and they diagnosed him with low-T.  He's on hormones now, and may end up on estrogen blockers as well.   That's exactly why I have been open about my transition with folks.  I believed if I was living a lie, by coming out others might find the courage to stop living lies as well.  I am very happy about this.  I am glad he is getting help.
    • AJ Baumann
      Thanks gennee. It is nice to find supportive community 💚 AJ
    • Nivegnal
      I ponder what I would really do if it all was just handed to me tomorrow.  Would I jump in both feet or not.  It’s easy to say you want this or that and different when you can actually get it.  I know this well enough.   I’m not in a hurry to have more surgery.  SRS is not on my scope but seems like a possible step.   Like you I’m more interested in an orchy and shed my T.   But I’m still healing from my last tangle with a scalpel.    Before I go on with that I want to understand my feelings and place in all this.  I’m hoping the therapist can show/teach/explain what’s what and why.  
    • NB Adult
      Back in the early 1990's I was fortunate being in a VA related counseling program for PTSD issues. My counselor was in a long term lesbian relationship, so when I broached the subject of what I intended to accomplish as a trans person, she had no qualms about writing me all the necessary letters. Prior to that I had been seeing Dr. Anne Lawrence, I know some people detest her, but she saw fit to put me on feminizing HRT and she also wrote me a letter of recommendation for SRS. Later it turned out that the endocrine specialist at the local VA hospital knew Anne, and he bought into my plan to transition and set me up for free meds. He also wrote me a letter recommending an orchiectomy and or SRS as I had complained about having to take Spironolactone as a testosterone blocker. So when I hooked up with Dr. Bowers I had both feet in the door but in the finale analysis decided that it wasn't the ultimate panacea for me. The reason I blathered all this past history out is that I felt at the time that if anything that you desire to accomplish is really valid and that important to you, then you will be manipulative and as devious as necessary to achieve what you need to. I am a bit embarrassed by putting all this out there, because in the end I dropped the ball entirely and in retrospect I have to concede that we should take our time going through the process step by step and not try to circumvent the system. It is what it is for our own good.
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