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  1. If you could’ve controlled what you friends and family’s actions when you came out what would you have done? (what others did wrong so people know what to do right)
  2. Holly92

    Late Night Thoughts

    TW: Self-harm, Drugs/Alcohol Hi Folx. I haven't been active lately as I have been trying to take some time away from the internet and focus on my life, but I'm looking forward to becoming more involved in the community. I have been struggling with insomnia so these are some thoughts about my current experience I wrote down last night, just thought I would share in case anybody experiences something similar. These are unedited, just as I wrote them as I had a thought. Been awake for 1.5 hours. Eating some cheese for the tryptophan and writing my thoughts/worries.
  3. Hi guys, Fairly new to posting here so sorry if I haven't responded to many threads, I've been stuck in my head a lot this week and just looking for support. I still haven't figured out how I feel about my gender dysphoria yet. I know I can say "if I clicked my fingers I would have been born a girl", but I don't think it's something I've ever paid much attention to. In fact, the opposite is true. I always felt not masculine enough. Feminine features, lack of body hair, wide hips etc. I had bad body dysmorphia leading to gynecomastia surgery (which was not
  4. Hi everyone, I just needed a place to type all this out and get it out of my head. On Tuesday morning I made a decision and I took a walk to the park, sat on a bench and wrote out a letter/text to my mom. Coming out to her as non-binary and telling her I was excited about my hrt appointment the next day and made a joke about maybe growing a viking beard. I knew that she wasn't going to take the information well, but often if I'm entertaining to her, it can soften her mood. The not knowing was twisting me up in what-ifs and affecting other (joyful!) parts of my life.
  5. The Oldest Problem Child

    Was this healthy?

    My parents discovered a slideshow presentation that discussed my gender and sexual orientation. They found it when going through my history as I wasn't doing that many at home assignments for school during our lockdown. They then yelled at me saying they didn't care about this stuff and I should focus on school. They then gave me 15 minutes to mentally prep coming out to them. After essentially having a mental breakdown as I now had to cram what I was planning on prepping a month or two in advance into 15 minutes. After I gave a short explanation of why I didn't feel ready to come out to them
  6. This is the fifth in a Series of reports of the past 6 months of my transitioning. I truly need only this from the Public: No Threats, No Menacing, No Violence. A lot of rudeness is legal; & I refuse to call a little old lady Hitler for rolling her eyes at me in the ladies’ room [No, that hasn’t happened! But, y’know, tomorrow’s a new day, so…]. I’m better than that—even if she clearly isn’t. There is nothing more radical for a transgender person than this: live your truth, never forget to love yourself, & don’t let anyone (including occasionally—& very unfortunate
  7. Astrid

    Gender Truth Comes Out

    Gender Truth Comes Out Coming Out: A day that Etched itself forever in my memory. Date. Time. Place. I affirmed, out loud, that I was crossing over what had been a boundary. With new ways of expressing my being, my doing, my appearance. The Me Inside made careful forays of being visible to the You Outside. Coming Out: it inevitably receded into the past. Etched in my memory are the experiences that followed. Dates. Times. Places. I affirmed the precious – my gender identity – to trusted friends. What was formerly new became c
  8. TrIIIy

    Mom does not approve

    I came out to my mom about 5 years ago, and from the get go she was appalled. She said that she would never stop loving me, but she did not approve of my being transgender. I realized then that my actual transition would be an uphill battle, especially since I live with her. This past week I was finally approved to start testosterone. I was SO excited! I called the pharmacy and found out that it was covered by my insurance - even better! But when I told my mother, she immediately fell into a depression/suppressed rage. She has been snapping at me about every little thing that I do
  9. Hi, I'm new here, I just joined the community. I am very, very happy that I can finally talk about myself. So, this year in January I accidentally came out to my mother as a transgender man. She panicked if I was kidding or not, then started to ask expected questions like "were you sexually assaulted; why do you think you would be happy as a man; why do you think that people will love you as a man; do you like girls or boys etc." I tried to give clear answers to her, but I ended up crying because I didn't even plan to come out, it just happened suddenly. I got stressed and confuse
  10. Hi, my name's Lee. I'd like to share my coming out story...and what happened afterwards. I started having doubts--or think about--my gender early in the summer and I talked it over with my girlfriend who was having similar doubts and we came to different conclusions. Me, that I didn't feel fully male, and her that she was just confused. Then, in December, after a long period of depression, the same thoughts started coming back to me, and after discovering a friend of mine was non-binary I thought I was non-binary, too. I told my girlfriend immediately and we started experimenting with pro
  11. UghToast

    Embarrassed and Unsure

    Hello, Recently I started coming out as trans to my immediate family and friend circle. I have spent most of my life (25 yrs) wishing I were a boy, and being uncomfortable/sad being referred to as female. I am generally OK with my body, I'm pretty sure HRT is not for me, but I bought a chest binder and have been feeling loads better because of it. Just trying at this point to accept myself as a boy, trying to undo the years of seeing myself as female. If I could press a button to become male, I would -- I just want to FEEL like a boy, if that makes sense. And, sometimes I do, and i
  12. Michelle F

    How I Came Out & Why I Waited

    Oh dear! Coming Out! It's a lengthy read... Here goes… Officially, I came Out as Transgender MtF in May of 2018! This is how it all began... My Mother passed peacefully on June 5, 2013 somewhere between 9a and 10:30a. I went to Walmart for our monthly supplies. I am an only child and she was the last of my family. I was the last man standing in the whole fam damily. Because I my only personal income was SSI at the time, less than $900. I couldn't afford where we lived so I became homeless. For two years I wandered California from Humboldt Coun
  13. Willow421

    Christmas party

    Tomorrow is the Christmas party for one of the boards of directors on which I serve. A couple of people on the board know that I have come out and questioning my gender identity. I thought I would take a calculated risk and attend the party presenting more female than male, specifically with a black t-neck with flaired spotted cuff and wool grey pants with a flaired leg. Simple black belt, a brogue patent leather and suede shoe in black, and a simple short sleeve black sweater to keep warm will add to the ensemble. The outfit is somewhat subtle but feminine ... I hope. This is the
  14. Willow421

    First therapy session

    On Friday, December 14th, I will be attending my first therapy session with a gender counseller from Qmunity, a Vancouver-based non-profit that supports the LGBTQ community. I'm not sure what to expect but I hope the session will be the start an important discussion about how I perceive myself and what the future may hold for me. Times are interesting as I work through my gender dysphoria and a pending separation and divorce, which was going to happen anyways and was just accelerated by my spouse because I came out to her. Stress is high right now and I'm trying to manage this through exercise
  15. Willow421

    She knew already

    Tonight I passed a milestone and told my wife of 21 years that I have accepted my feminine side and identify more as a woman than a man. What blew me away is she already knew - ok, she thought I may have been gay (I have no interest in men) - she was happy for me that I had accepted my identity. I was terrified to tell her, fearing a strong negative reaction. My fear was misplaced as she lovingly supported and told me I better not end up being more pretty than her ?. I was relieved, almost cried. This moment had been 40 years in the making. I have been ln treatment for anxiety and
  16. I came out to my mom a little while ago as 'not a girl", which probably was not the right decision because I have been questioning my gender for a couple of years now but I haven't been sure exactly of what I am until recently. I came out as "not a girl" because I know that she would not except me if I told her that I feel more like a boy, and now that I'm telling her that I feel more like a boy, she is starting to tell me that "I don't know how I feel" and that "what does it mean to be a girl?" to try and convince me that I am a girl who just isn't the 'typical girl'. I'm telling her tha
  17. I'm just recently coming to terms with myself and realizing there is nothing wrong will the way I feel. I've struggled with this sense middle school and have only just now accepted it now that I'm getting close to 30. The last week or so I've been losing sleep trying to figure out just how to tell my wife and family (no kids). And that's just the top of the ice burg, if also been in the army national guard for 6 years and just added 2 more years to my contract. In 2016 the army policy on trans changed to be more inclusive but I'm still not sure if I should come out now or wait the two years.
  18. Hey guys, so I told my parents in August and it didn't go very well. The first thing my mom says is, "your not a boy, you just don't want to be a -lesbian-." And my dad said, " If I were to live my life as trans I would go away to do it..why would you do it here? " And from there it's gotten worse and worse from my mom. And that's the thing deep down I know she's not transphobic 100% she just doesn't want me to be. she tells me all these things but I can tell she's saying them more for herself than me. Things like "you're a girl" randomly through out the day. And even awful things such as, "y
  19. hmillerrr

    Introducing new name/pronouns

    Hey! so I'm fairly new in this journey and I just wanted to ask how to introduce new name and pronouns. Only my family and one good friend knows I'm trans but it's starting to make me really uncomfortable to be called my birth name. even tho I've only been called my new name (Trevor) for awhile it just feels right. I wanted to do it as a trial period and I honestly really like it... How do I slowly put it out there? SHOULD I put it out there (because I'm only 90% sure)? Thank you for any feedback!
  20. pt. 1) I'm currently thinking about coming out online to a select group of people my own age that I know will (at least for the most part) be safe and accepted around. Does anyone have any tips or ideas for writing a coming out post? (this next part is a bit long so feel free to just stop reading here if you would like) pt. 2) I am not out to my family, (I fear the withdrawal of resources and being put into a dangerous and toxic situation) yet I am hoping to come out to my high school this fall as my senior year begins... I'm hoping in coming out to this group of people
  21. Hey, my name is Sam and I'm 18. I will be going to college in upstate New York. For years I have tried to come out to my mom as transgender (female to male) or even just as nonbinary/genderqueer because to be fair I don't feel 100% male...or at least what society expects "male" to mean. I genuinely want to present more masculine (binding, etc.) in college, something I could never really do at home because of how infuriated my mom would get... and the fact I grew up in a small conservative town... Ever since I was 12 I knew that this was something I wanted to do. I am just terrified to actual
  22. Lady Ayu

    Baby Steps

    Hai hai everyone! It's been a while and I'm sorry...I wanted to share some news with yall though!! So, work has kept me busy I rarely get a break but just last weekend, I attended a friend's graduation party out of town. While I was in that neighborhood, another friend had let me crash his couch so I wouldn't have to get a hotel for the weekend. We hadn't seen each other in about half a year keeping up only via social media, texts, and games. So he was telling me about things in his life and how he's coping with them; it was at this time I was starting to stir inside. I wanted to t
  23. SkyeWrite

    I'm scared to come out.

    I've been identifying as female for a while now and i've come out to my close friends, but not all of them and it's starting to make me feel guilty. Like i'm lying. I'm reaching the point where I feel out of place if i'm not wearing anything fem and I really want to come out, but I am absolutely terrified. The biggest hurdle is my family. I dont live by any of them and we have never really had a strong familial bond, but for some reason telling them is like a huge fear. I have nightmares about this stuff. I really want to start hormones later this year. Would it be a poor move to start before
  24. i came out to my extended family as ftm on facebook coming out was purely on impulse, i had been pushing away the questions from my parents about "how long are you gonna pretend youre a girl in front of them" i dont see my family too often, especially with work taking up my weekends every weekend and it went really well!! i dont have my entire family on facebook so hopefully the news was passed around haha i wasnt too sure what to expect from my fathers siblings as they were raised by homophobic catholic parents (however my dad is extremely open and a great ally) , b
  25. i work as a server, or as my official job title calls it a waitress i work in my small, postage stamp sized town where everyone knows everyone. no one knows im trans but my family and neighbours. when i applied for this job the specific title was "waitress" but i applied anyway, so maybe i brought this on myself i want to come out because im sick of being misgendered 24 hrs a week by coworkers, my bosses who call me "sweetheart" and "dear" , and the slew of people i wait on our dress code is a white blouse and black pants. and because of my feminine body shape i onl

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