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  1. CreepyConfusedKid

    I am so confused.

    I've been feeling a lot of dysphoria lately. I keep thinking that I might be trans. Now here's the problem: Some times when I feel like a girl, a few minutes later I'll deny it and feel like a boy again. I am so confused. Sometimes I want to be a girl but sometimes I want to stay a boy. I keep saying things like "I'm too boyish to be a girl but I'm too emotional to be a boy". I am pretty muscular for my age and I have a very deep voice and I hit puberty at 9 so that's why I feel like I can't be a girl. But I feel like I can't be a boy because I act very feminine. I'm so confu
  2. Hey so im katherine 15 (I know I'm young I hope thats okay) I'm struggling with gender identity some days i just want to snap my fingers and change my body completely (as in no vag or breasts to having a p and some times neither) however im happy with using she/her terms but I feel like im wrong in the way that I don't experience high levels of body dysphoria which from my understanding please correct if im wrong is what kind of tells you in a way what gender you are (sorry if that was incorrect) its really stressing me out and some days I just feel so distant from my body and its not like I w
  3. Hello, my name is Mena and I've been questioning my gender for a few years now. I keep thinking that maybe I'm "faking" what I feel but, today, I think I saw that I haven't been faking it. Seemingly out of nowhere I had a horrible panic attack (or would you call it dysphoria attack?) where I felt disgusted about my chest, like close to vomiting. I made some drawing while and after it was happening because that's how I cope and make sense of things, again TW dysphoria! (I think) I was really scared about what was happening, but I think I was more scared of it actually being dysphori
  4. King Arthur

    I Need Some Help

    Hey, everyone. I’m James and I’m new here, but I decided to join, because I really need help from others. I don’t know where to start, so I’ll just explain a few things; I’m an AFAB person that likes to dress masculine, I’ve only started doing this since last year, but it feels authentic to my actual self. I’ve identified as a butch lesbian, but recently I’ve been thinking that I might be a trans guy instead. This is kind of an on again, off again thing I keep having with my gender identity every now and then. The reason I think I might be a guy is that I think I really like the idea of going
  5. Hi everyone. I’m completely new here and to be honest I’m a bit anxious posting anything at all, but I figured I’d try going out of my comfort zone a bit. I’m here because I’m extremely confused about my gender identity. I’m AFAB, and when I was a young kid (pre-puberty) I never really thought about my gender at all. When I hit puberty, I didn’t necessarily like it, but I didn’t hate it either since I realized it was something that was bound to happen since it happened to my older siblings. It’s only really been since middle school that I’ve started questioning my gender (I’m almost a sen
  6. Soooooo this is gonna be a very long post, so bear with me. I absolutely s u c k at decision making and always have done, so this post is gonna be biiiig. I had the same issue trying to figure out my orientation until I had to stop myself and say "you're obviously bi stop doubting yourself". I know that nobody can tell me who I am, I know I'm the only person who can define who I am. I think I just need some advice and support on how to explore this more and how to understand. Buuuut that being said, if anyone reads this and thinks they know what my gender is... Please tell me.
  7. Hi everybody, I've been lurking around Forums for a while and tried to read up on other people's experiences with figuring out their gender identity. I turned 27 last year and started questioning shortly before my birthday and since then everything just seems so much clearer to me, but still I have a lot of doubts and am very confused. I already made an appointment with a therapist and I hope that will help me, but that's only in 2 months and every night I just keep lying awake and my mind is racing. I guess I am just gonna write out my story and maybe some people will recognize themselve
  8. Kriss

    New member

    Hello everyone, I'm new and wanted to say Hi. I'm mostly here to get advice and find like minded support. I'm 44. Born male. Been married and divorced twice. Crossdressed on and off my whole life. I've gone through pretty intense periods of questioning my gender. The crossdressing is definitely more than a fetish, though there's an element of that tied in. In between these periods of time I would be completely comfortable being male. The back and forth of feeling feminine and masculine seems to increase as I get older. Now at 44 I'm engaged again and decided to come c
  9. ravennevermore

    New, in every way. And scared.

    Hi everyone, I’m not sure where to start... And I am so sorry if I ramble or sound ridiculous, or if this is long winded. It’s really the first time I’ve said anything “out loud”. I guess first of all, I should say that I have finally, FINALLY realized... that I am transgender.. mtf, and have been fighting dysphoria forever without truly knowing what that meant. After the last couple days, the battle inside my head I’ve been fighting since I was in my teens or truly probably much younger, has really come to the peak. And something else happened today, in my
  10. Okay, so this is my first time ever doing this... I'm just in search of advice and answers to my millions of questions, scratch that, BILLIONS of questions that can't be answered by textbook definitions, and also friends.. I'm 20 years old and I realized lately that my childhood was not as common as I thought. A vey big part of growing up was surrounded by "phases", as my parents would call it, but I only realize now that I may just be different. I learnt that sexual orientation and identity is very different, things that in my home town we had no education what so ever
  11. Makayla2019

    Introducing Makayla

    Hi All, glad to be here, my name is Makayla I am 44 and have just admitted to myself I trans. But that is my challenge and hence why u am really here to help me understand and come to terms with my real gender and to ensure that is really me. I like many many have have grown up since a young boy embracing the love for cross dressing but for me it was confused with a desire for leather and bdsm. It is only really of late that the real desire to present myself to the world as Makayla has become so strong. My desire to pass and to be able to just walk out the door is now
  12. Hey. So I'm afab, and questioning. I thought for a good while I was definitely FTM. Then after a few months of accepting and coming out to my husband, I went back to feeling just female. Then for a few months, I went back to feeling like a guy. When I'm in guy mode I have these intense needs to flatten my chest, pack, cut off my long hair, and have facial hair. Since early September I havent felt any dysphoria, or need or desire to be/present male.....and I want to? I'm sad that now that I've accepted being Male (at least sometimes) and that has gone away.
  13. Hi everyone, I am Natalie. I have felt like I was supposed to have been born female since I was 7 years old. I am now 32. I get these desires or urges to be female and during this times I feel both great happiness and sadness. The happiness comes from getting to be myself, the sadness from when I look in the mirror and realize I don't look how I feel. When I was younger this would come and go like seasons. I would want to be woman and then I wouldn't really care. Lately it has been happening more often and the feeling is stronger. It's like I have a feminine energy that flows and it feels so s
  14. Hello ? My partner recently told me he was a woman and has decided to transition - we are currently not in an area where she feels comfortable to go full time so we are in the process of moving. We have decided to move into two seperate households to make things easier on us, as we also have a 5yr old daughter. Well my partner decided this as, I was rather reserved and unsure on him transitioning. He has taken things into his own hands and is doing it and I respect him for that. My fears are always going to be there, until the end and they can
  15. Im a born female but i remember now knowing that theres more than two gender and a possibility of bwing trans that i used to be highly curious in male stuff at a very younge age. I was facinated to learn boys had different parts than i did. Id like to walk around the house shirtless and occasionally curiously pee standing up like i saw the men in movies do it. Id allways hang around the guys like uncles and feel macho and cool and although im allways content with my female family members hanging around the guys had allways felt rigjt especially when id play soccer with my three male buds rushi
  16. Aro

    Genderfluidity sucks

    I figure i'm genderfluid although it might be something else but i'll stick with that namesake for now and i absolutely hate it. I can't really come to embrace my genderfluidity because it doesn't feel like femal me male me no gender me and both gender me it feels like i'm a trans male who's contantly stuck on the "surgery or no surgery?" question constantly flattening my chest and thinking i should just hack them off (matter of speach, i'd, of course, get that done by a professinal if i ever did." but the next minute i kind of hold off on the idea finding myself to e not as repulsed by them a
  17. Hey... made one post a few months back, and got some helpful insight and I'm really grateful for it. But at the moment, I haven't been able to see my new school therapist because of scheduling issues, and I'm unsure who to go to. So I've been questioning since last September because I've always had this recurring question of "What if I was born a girl instead of a guy" ever since I can remember. The reason I started exploring is that I had both time, and realized that not everyone thinks like this. I've been out dressed (with a friend so I felt safe) more fem, with breast forms, more fem make-
  18. Hey, so I've been questioning since early-mid Sept, and the one thing that gets me to think I'm maybe not is that everyone that I ask usually says something along the lines that "they always knew" which I feel like is stopping me from questioning further? I'm kinda hoping to hear some people on here say that no that they had to question for a while. Cause I've always had the question of "What if I was born a female instead of male?" and I've posted that question to some friends earlier in life and they looked at me like I had 4 heads. Now having that thought again, I finally asked myself why w
  19. ErinJade

    First post (hello)

    Hi all. So... I'm not new to this whole situation, but I've been stuck for some time without being able to do anything about it. The feelings have only got worse over time, and my dreams at night make things worse. I don't know what I am specifically, but I definitely know that my body feels wrong at a very deep level. I believe I'm probably M2F, but something makes me feel like it's more complicated than that. I hate looking in the mirror some days. The longer I do nothing about it, the more I feel like I'm losing time, or falling farther into irreversible change territory.
  20. Hi Girls I have just retired (early) from a life of working in libraries, and (to quote one of my users) "look forward to a life pleasing myself instead of others" (lovely words to me - and also about damn time if you asked me. 38 years of serving everyone with a smile on my face has turned me into a kind of robot). Retirement! Yay! Two things. First I came back to Laura's Playground from a month out, and had real difficulty finding my old community off the entrance pages. What's going on? Are we a secret? Surely the site should have better navigation to the Forums, especia
  21. Steffi_Memmel

    Hello

    Hello, My name is Steffi. It is not the name I was born with. It is the name I wish I was born with. I am separated from my wife of 28 years, with two adult daughters. I have been obsessed with dressing and feeling female since my earliest memories. These desires and feelings have dominated most of my life, and ruined pretty much ALL of my relationships, including my marriage. I do remain close to my Mother, who is unaware that I still have "dressing issues", and am close with one of my daughters, who I HOPE is unaware... For the longest, I just thought I was a CD/TV, because o
  22. Hello, I am new to this site, but not new to this issue... I am a lifelong (closeted) crossdresser. It has become more and more apparent (to me) that my crossdressing was a symptom more than a condition. When I was a child (five to seven or eight), I often dressed as a girl just because I enjoyed it. I thought the clothes were pretty, and I made friends much more readily with girls my age rather than boys. By the age of eleven or twelve, it was a full-blown obsession, and it gained a sexual component as I discovered masturbation. For many, many years, I self-identified as "j
  23. NathanThePlatypus

    Need A Friend

    Hi, I'm a student from Gloucestershire who is conflicted as all hell and looking for some friends to help me through. And trying to keep things concise...
  24. We were a heterosexual couple until a year ago. First came wearing female underwear, for sexual fantasies at first I thought. But then that became the norm. Then came dressing full on in woman's clothing, dresses etc. Then the stubble was replaced for make up, but not during the day, in standard life, all of this behind closed doors. Then came wigs, I helped in every way I could, to achieve the picture that my partner had in his mind, to help him become that person who seemed to be trapped inside him. As he walked and moved like a man, we practiced the female walk and actions, watching women a
  25. havefaithinsoccer

    I'm confused

    I think I might be transgender. As of right now, I'm living as a female. But I have a strong desire to be male. Almost every night at 11:11, I wish that I could wake up as a boy, even though I know that's not how it works. I hate my vagina and wish I could have a penis instead. I have showed signs since I was a toddler, but I never really thought about it. Some signs (present and past) are below. Preferred toy cars over dolls as a toddler Most of my friends were boys as a toddler (All of these below are as of now) I hate the color pink All my friends are bo

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