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Found 2 results

  1. Alaa

    Misery

    TRIGGER WARNING: GENDER DYSPHORIA/ DEPRESSION/ SUICIDE Please don't read this if you're vulnerable. "And when someone asks me if that was a cry for help, I say no because I told no one. You only cry for help if you believe there's help to cry for." This not a cry because I know deep inside that there's no help out there for me. Hi ! My name is Alaa. I'm 20. And I'm transgender ftm. I have struggled with severe depression, anxiety, and gender dysphoria my whole life. And Iive in one of the most transphobic countries ( a Muslim country in north Africa). Most people here will live their entire lives without hearing the word transgender. They don't know about us and they manage to hate us. The irony. It's nearly impossible for me to get help. When I tried I was humiliated by my therapist. I can't come out to anyone. My parents will probably go crazy if I do and it will break their hearts and they'll torture me to change. Additionally, I risk getting persecuted and I can end up in jail. I can't get out of here and even if I do, for what? I can't leave my parents and my friends behind. I love them. I can't break their hearts. I would rather die than be a source of pain and shame to them. Not after all the beautiful things they did to me. This whole situation is unfair. I really wish things were different but they're not. And nothing is going to change. I hate myself. What in the hell did I do to deserve all this?
  2. Stephi

    Too old to transition?

    Good morning. My name is Stephani and just recently joined TransPulse Forums. I introduced myself in the newcomers section so I won't repeat myself, but I do have a very serious question to put out there. I'm sure it's been answered before: When is it (realistically ) too late to transition? I have struggled with gender dysphoria since the age of 4. Over the years I have endured ridicule, scorn, and rejection. I have been beaten an abused several times earlier in life when I asserted my feminine persona. Eventually I would emotionally suppress my intense desire to transition. Finally, in my early 50's, I resolved to get gender counseling and therapy to address my transsexuality. At long last I was set to begin HRT, but on the very day I was to start, a phone call from my primary care physician indicated that I had cancer. 9 years later I am cancer-free after several bouts. But I am almost 60 (May 4, 1959) and in the recent years my body image has gone from bad to worse. My wife and son were incredible supports during my illness and I don't want to disrupt their lives any more than I have I'm not sure what to do. Do I just resign myself to unfortunate fate, or do I move forward? Thanks for reading, and thanks for responding if you care to do so, ❤️
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