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Found 5 results

  1. DashRavens

    Am I Genderqueer or FtM?

    I am a 13-year-old who is confused about whether they are genderqueer or FtM. I like the pronouns He/him and I prefer boyish clothes and short hair, in short, I look more like a boy and prefer boy stereotype things. Also, I enjoy girlish things like cute stuffed animals, dramas, romance, chick flicks, makeup (Once in a while just to get rid of acne and whatever), and singing in a high voice to female songs. Another thing is I want to get top surgery but not bottom surgery but that may be because I'm scared. I act like a girl in a lot of social ways, is that normal? I want to know what everyone else thinks.
  2. So, I'm out to my mom as non-binary and, despite some bumps of misunderstandings here and there, she's been wonderful and supportive about the whole thing. She's still learning and I'm being patient about it. The fact that she's willing to do any of this is all I can ask for at this juncture. One thing we're both kind of stuck on is what she's going to refer to me as in the way of a family title. For now, I'm okay with her continuing to call me her daughter because we can't think of a proper gender-neutral term. Neither of us like "offspring" because that's just way too scientific-sounding and impersonal, and I'm also an adult, so we both feel weird about her calling me her "kid" or "child'. I was just wondering if anyone knows of any other gender-neutral words for someone's daughter or son? I think I could learn to deal with "daughter" because it's not like it comes up very often at all, but I would certainly prefer a different term if one exists. - Monroe
  3. PurpleBlue

    What Am I? Help?

    I'm confused and depressed and anxious. I just want to know? Am I just a confused tomboy? I don't know. Because I feel like this is something more than just being tomboy. Because I feel different and it's hard to explain. Anything feminine makes me very uncomfortable like makeup, skirts, dresses, skinny jeans, shaving, periods. I hate my chest and I think it could be dysphoria. But I don't know. I've hated my long hair for years. I've never felt connected to my name. I hate being called words like girl, girly, lady, cute, pretty. I'm afraid of the future and I just don't want to end up doing something I might regret. How to know if your genderqueer or ftm? Whats the difference? How did you realise it? How to know if your experiencing dysphoria or low self esteem or something else?
  4. Hi all, I'm Em (tentatively Emerson) and I've been living as genderqueer for 4 years now. I've always felt not very "girly" and been uncomfortable with female societal norms, and finally came out as nonbinary/genderqueer when I started college. I didn't really think much about possibly being trans; I didn't really feel like a man and I didn't think it was at all attainable to look anything more than somewhat androgynous/butch. However, I'd always wanted to look more masculine and briefly considered the possibility of going on a low level of T, but decided quickly that I didn't want most of the side effects and that it wasn't possible being on my parents' insurance/being too poor to pay anything out of pocket. Now, though, I'm reconsidering. Over the last year or so I've been feeling more dysphoric, but not very much; sometimes I just don't mind my breasts (but wouldn't care if they were gone) but other times I wonder about if I'd even care if I had to my breasts removed due to cancer and think it'd be a silver lining (my grandma just beat breast cancer, which is why it was on my mind). Thinking now about taking a low dose of T, I think I wouldn't mind a lot of the side effects now; I definitely wish my voice was deeper, I'd love a little body fat redistribution to look more masculine, a little more body hair wouldn't really be that bad (I used to hate the concept of facial hair though I don't think I'd ever grow much based on the cis men in my family)... It's starting to look more and more appealing. I've always been more drawn to having male friends too, and I find myself wishing that I had been born male especially when I'm in those circles; I want them to see me as one of them. But I still don't identify 100% as male, and I can't really see my future self as a man. The closest I see myself is as a boy, if that makes sense. My biggest obstacle is that I really hate male culture, specifically toxic masculinity, and I worry about becoming complicit in it or my mindset changing to be more toxic. I don't want people (especially women) to see me and make assumptions about what kind of man I am (like toxically masculine or not) or be afraid of me due to reading me as male. I don't know if I can transition to be male without picking up the baggage of being a "man," if that makes sense. There are cis men in my life who are really great and not at all toxically masculine, but they do still fall into some trappings and behaviors of male culture (which some of them have been working to unlearn). I also worry that maybe I only am thinking of being male because I'm dating a trans man and have been basically the entire time I've identified as nonbinary. He's definitely opened up my eyes to what a transition can look like, so that's been really informative. But I also know that while he's pansexual, he prefers men, and I am worried that maybe I've internalized that and am subconsciously wanting to look more masculine to appease him. Anyway, all this is to say... where do I go from here? How can I make myself more certain one way or the other? When can I consider myself sure enough to start transitioning? What steps can I take to help myself be more sure? (I think my first step is that I'm going to move to more masculine presentation and see if I feel any gender euphoria; I dress really on the border now of androgynous, basically men's shirts with women's shorts/pants, and I want to move more to men's shorts, masculine scents, a more masculine hairstyle instead of an androgynous one...)
  5. Hey, my name is Sam and I'm 18. I will be going to college in upstate New York. For years I have tried to come out to my mom as transgender (female to male) or even just as nonbinary/genderqueer because to be fair I don't feel 100% male...or at least what society expects "male" to mean. I genuinely want to present more masculine (binding, etc.) in college, something I could never really do at home because of how infuriated my mom would get... and the fact I grew up in a small conservative town... Ever since I was 12 I knew that this was something I wanted to do. I am just terrified to actually do it when left to my own devices, after years of conditioning and self-preservation by doing the opposite... I finally have all this freedom, but now I'm too scared to act on it. Basically, what I'm asking for here is advice from anyone who has been in this situation or known anyone who has or just thinks they have something to offer. That would be ideal. Thanks! I'd also like to make some friends so feel free to message me : ) Have a good day/night/whenever you're reading this!
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