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  1. I am in need of sincere consul. My son (until otherwise identifying, he has not yet explored his pronouns yet and I will fully embrace them when he has) has been recently requesting to wear dresses. I have absolutely no problem buying him the clothes that he will feel more comfortable in and will help him love himself for who he is.. But I do have a problem with wearing them out into public - however, not for reasons you might expect. We live in a considerably conservative city. My son has been in full bloom and expresses his love for all things pink/purple, covered in glitter and exploding with rainbows. He loves unicorns - he will tell you so in as many words as you allow. He loves all things cute. If it's small, in dog-form and can wear an outfit, he probably owns the stuffy. My son is eight years old. My son has also been violently bullied at school. We spent most of last year struggling with four boys bullying him every day. I met with his teacher countless time, demanded an audience with his principal, called regularly to speak to the on-site counselor - and it became easier as my son surrounded himself with the children that accepted him. The bullies persisted, and there were days he didn't want to go to school, but we survived. He wore his unicorns, he painted his nails, he grew out his hair - as long as it was within the school's dress code, I allowed it. Over this last summer, he asked the question I was waiting for. "Mom, can we buy a dress?" I'm no stranger to bullies. I know as he gets older, it's going to get harder. I know that those boys shoving him may come to blows and nose-bleeds. I know it may involve flipped up skirts, confrontation in the bathroom and ugly slurs... I know the boys he was in class last year are still here this year and with many others added to the pack. They already aren't kind, I don't want to add fuel to the already unsupervised fire. We have since bought several dresses that I allow him to wear at home or out in town if he's with me but he wants to wear them to school. I understand why he wants to wear them to school but I also know why I don't want him to. I told him that I would let him wear a dress to school as soon as he could defend himself in one - and he has been in Taekwondo for months since. But I still don't feel it's fair to him. I don't want to closet his identity because I'm trying to protect him.. I also don't want to set him up for failure. He's struggled with depression and I'm at a moral standstill. Do I protect my son and continue to allow him to wear them only at home, where he is surrounded by the love and protection of his family? Or do I allow him to be who he longs to be without restriction and come ready to face the consequences? What would you do in my shoes?
  2. Greetings! I finally find myself at a point in my life where I can try to settle some of the gender issues that have caused so many issues over the years. I'm biologically male, but don't always feel that way. It seems language has finally caught up with what I've always felt. Genderfluid is the best descriptor I've been able to find for me. I have days where I feel very male. Other days very female and feminine. It has not proven to be predictable, which is currently my greatest source of anxiety. I've had days where I feel great. Perfectly at home in my skin. Other days when I look in the mirror I don't recognize the face staring back. All I want to do on these days is crossdress and be as female as possible. Sometimes this switch happens mid day. Which is the worst. I've started shaving, as body hair is a major source of discomfort on what I'll call "fem" days. I've been playing with cloths to try and ease the feelings of being "off" on these days. I can dress around my house, which is great. But doesn't help when I'm at work and can't change or I'm stuck wearing my male cloths. I don't have a desire to transition. I just need some guidance on the best ways to handle the back and forth. Also, if someone knows of a better description than genderfluid, I'm all ears.
  3. UghToast

    Embarrassed and Unsure

    Hello, Recently I started coming out as trans to my immediate family and friend circle. I have spent most of my life (25 yrs) wishing I were a boy, and being uncomfortable/sad being referred to as female. I am generally OK with my body, I'm pretty sure HRT is not for me, but I bought a chest binder and have been feeling loads better because of it. Just trying at this point to accept myself as a boy, trying to undo the years of seeing myself as female. If I could press a button to become male, I would -- I just want to FEEL like a boy, if that makes sense. And, sometimes I do, and it's exhilarating! Anyway, when it involves to coming out to other people, I've been less certain. My friends are generally understanding, but I am now the only LGBT person in our circle. I've brought up wanting a gender neutral name and using male pronouns, but when friends and family do use them around me (oftentimes correcting themselves) I feel horribly embarrassed and ashamed. Is this normal? I feel like it's a mix of things, like I'm worried people don't actually SEE me as a boy, because I don't and probably will never pass as a boy. I feel totally vulnerable making this change. What if I have second thoughts? But at the same time, even though it's familiar, I don't want to go back to the female name/pronouns because I don't want to spend my whole life wishing for something that I don't allow myself to attain. I guess I'm just scared. I'm in this middle ground now where nothing feels right (except occasionally when I am out with one good friend who is crazy supportive I feel excited). I want to be a boy so bad, and so far everyone has been very nice, why don't I have the bravery to do this?? I have a gender therapist I've been seeing but I haven't been jiving very well with her, she just sits there and stares at me smiling and then I feel like I have to yammer to avoid the silence. So, I have made another appointment with someone else, but it's a couple week out, which is why I am reaching out here for support. Thank U in advance, --UghToast
  4. Hi guys! so a little while ago I made a post asking about whether or not a therapist that isn't a gender therapist could write me a letter of recommendation. Well I asked her about it and she said it feels "unethical" and that she would have to do some research . I want her to be aware of Informed Consent but I don't know how to take that route and would feel more comfortable with a rec letter. She just needs proof that it's fine to do is there anything in a WPATHS standard of care proving me point, that I could show her? Or is it truly unethical?
  5. FalknerNessa98

    A Predicament

    I go by Loren. I am 22 years old, I would say I'm bi, but when I'm in girl mode. The only thing that's on my mind is -penis-. Anyway I've been dressing for some time now going out and all that. Back in August I was seeing this girl for a while but we both decided to end it, and since then I've been feeling lonely. So I decided to go out en femme and I met a guy who is very interested in people who cross-dress and we've been going out together since. it's been casual so far and we have had sex but as of lately he's been hellbent on trying to convince me into living with him as a fem 24/7, a part of me really really wants to. But there's also a part of me that's still attracted to women and wants to give dating them another shot. It's a whole lot right now and I really don't know what to do and it's been killing me what do you guys think? Should I give it a try or not? Regular me: Fem me:
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