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Found 5 results

  1. UghToast

    Embarrassed and Unsure

    Hello, Recently I started coming out as trans to my immediate family and friend circle. I have spent most of my life (25 yrs) wishing I were a boy, and being uncomfortable/sad being referred to as female. I am generally OK with my body, I'm pretty sure HRT is not for me, but I bought a chest binder and have been feeling loads better because of it. Just trying at this point to accept myself as a boy, trying to undo the years of seeing myself as female. If I could press a button to become male, I would -- I just want to FEEL like a boy, if that makes sense. And, sometimes I do, and it's exhilarating! Anyway, when it involves to coming out to other people, I've been less certain. My friends are generally understanding, but I am now the only LGBT person in our circle. I've brought up wanting a gender neutral name and using male pronouns, but when friends and family do use them around me (oftentimes correcting themselves) I feel horribly embarrassed and ashamed. Is this normal? I feel like it's a mix of things, like I'm worried people don't actually SEE me as a boy, because I don't and probably will never pass as a boy. I feel totally vulnerable making this change. What if I have second thoughts? But at the same time, even though it's familiar, I don't want to go back to the female name/pronouns because I don't want to spend my whole life wishing for something that I don't allow myself to attain. I guess I'm just scared. I'm in this middle ground now where nothing feels right (except occasionally when I am out with one good friend who is crazy supportive I feel excited). I want to be a boy so bad, and so far everyone has been very nice, why don't I have the bravery to do this?? I have a gender therapist I've been seeing but I haven't been jiving very well with her, she just sits there and stares at me smiling and then I feel like I have to yammer to avoid the silence. So, I have made another appointment with someone else, but it's a couple week out, which is why I am reaching out here for support. Thank U in advance, --UghToast
  2. Hi guys! so a little while ago I made a post asking about whether or not a therapist that isn't a gender therapist could write me a letter of recommendation. Well I asked her about it and she said it feels "unethical" and that she would have to do some research . I want her to be aware of Informed Consent but I don't know how to take that route and would feel more comfortable with a rec letter. She just needs proof that it's fine to do is there anything in a WPATHS standard of care proving me point, that I could show her? Or is it truly unethical?
  3. FalknerNessa98

    A Predicament

    I go by Loren. I am 22 years old, I would say I'm bi, but when I'm in girl mode. The only thing that's on my mind is -penis-. Anyway I've been dressing for some time now going out and all that. Back in August I was seeing this girl for a while but we both decided to end it, and since then I've been feeling lonely. So I decided to go out en femme and I met a guy who is very interested in people who cross-dress and we've been going out together since. it's been casual so far and we have had sex but as of lately he's been hellbent on trying to convince me into living with him as a fem 24/7, a part of me really really wants to. But there's also a part of me that's still attracted to women and wants to give dating them another shot. It's a whole lot right now and I really don't know what to do and it's been killing me what do you guys think? Should I give it a try or not? Regular me: Fem me:
  4. So I am a female assigned at birth, 15 years old in a month. For the past month or even past half year, I don't know if even more(?) I've been questioning my gender identity a lot. I do feel like I'm not a female, but then I have so many thoughts about being trans maybe and what if not... Because all the trans people I've heard about always knew from a little age that they're not the gender they were born and all this stuff. But I'm not like this, I don't think so at least? I can say I'm pretty feminine and I've never questioned much anything but my sexuality. But from another pov, my mom always made decisions for me from the moment I was born till around age 10 I guess? So to my point... I do find myself fantasizing about how my life would be if I was a male from birth and such and I a lot if times wish that I was male born and not a female. Another thing I've read is that you have to have disphorya in order to be trans. I'm not sure if I'm much disphoric but as much as I keep questioning my gender I find myself less comfortable with how my body is. And I've did so much research about everything and tried to imagine what it would be like if everyone would refer to me as he/him and for example if I had male parts and it actually feels nice to think of it kinda... I'm so confused and everything and it's making me frustrated and like something is wrong with me. Because if I am trans, what if I'm not "trans enough" and it's all just dumb thoughts... I could really use some advice on that because I feel so lost. Thanks to anyone who will help ❤️
  5. Aro

    Dark thoughts

    Just to start off no, im not about to kill myself here and now. Im just fine right now i havent even self harmed but this year ive been having thoughts. I guess i've allways been depressed and kinda hate myself and three years of isolation has not been good for mental state but i am getting concerned. I dont think i'd off and do it now but more and more suicide has been to me a feasable option. Like a kind of plan c and im scared that eventually it might go up to plan a if anything goes wrong. I've thought about nooses, even tested what it'd feel like by strangling myself with a piece of rope until i could hardly breathe and my head felt like it was gonna explode before letting go. I dont know how to handle these thoughts either. My family is having a rough time and i dont want to bring up my mental problems and have them worried on it and if i told my therapist i know she'd want to tell my mother and i dont want that either but i have to stop it somehow. I've never had this many dark thoughts and before they never scared me just felt like healthy what if statements where i would wonder what would happen if i did not how i could do it but now im worried i might do it and that the only reason i havent is because i dont want to scare my family by them walking in on my body but if i were living on my own somewhere i think that maybe i would or at the very least i might find it a lot more feasable than now. What should i do?
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