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  1. I am wondering the right time to legally change my name. I plan to buy my first home in a few months and I think it would be better to buy the property in my new name, rather than change the deed later and possibly have my dead name on record for my property. I am also planning to have FFS in several months. When I get a court order for a name change then change my name with social security, I'll probably need to update my name with the bank. I'd also want the mortgage to be in my female name as well. If I change my name with social security and the bank, I'll probably need a new ID with my new name. The problem is I still present as male, I don't pass and still have facial hair. I need to keep my facial hair grown long enough to make it convenient for the electrologist. I want to buy a home in the winter when prices are the lowest, but I won't be able to have FFS until the spring. I have Kaiser insurance in Northern California which has a long waiting list for FFS. Kaiser is organized by regions so I would need to stay in Northern California to stay on the waiting list, but I can't afford the housing in Northern California (I live with my parents). Since I want to buy a home before FFS but after my name change, I will have to change my name while I am still presenting as male. This means I will have to get a new ID with my female name and male picture, then once I have FFS (and move out of state) get another ID with my female picture and female name. Dana is a unisex name so I guess it would be OK for my ID to say Dana with my male picture, but my middle name (Michelle) is not unisex. Is it required for people who have middle names to put their middle names on their ID? Also, it might be too inconvenient to change my name in other places while I still present as male. For example, my transit card has both my male name and picture, so that's another thing I would potentially have to get updated twice: once with my female name and male picture, and then again with my female face and female picture. Could I still legally use my old name for a while after I legally changed my name?
  2. Hey folks, I am curious as to peoples experience with dating. Particularily with online forums. As in how to identify. Especially if queer women arent really your 'type', even though you identify as queer. So... where does one fit, in a way that doesnt cause harm to someone else?
  3. LeeAnderson9X

    Why I'm here, and Hello

    (So. Whew. I'm here) Hello! I'm Lee (that's my chosen name), I'm amab and I've been questioning myself for basically years without really getting nowhere, until over the last year and a half I crashed headfirst into the realization that I wasn't a guy. It felt obvious, at first. I'd never really thought of myself (or other people, for that matter) as a boy or a girl, so I assumed I must be nonbinary, right? But I'd always thought about being a girl, and dreamed about myself as a girl. And experimenting with pronouns and clothes I felt more comfortable in a feminine shape. I thought it'd be safe, telling my parents and girlfriend. I was wrong. My parents reacted as you'd expect, and we've been fighting for the last three weeks. My girlfriend had been witnessing my realization from the start, but my worsening dysphoria and resulting depression (coupled with her own depression and anxiety) broke us up two weeks ago. I am basically trying to understand how to deal myself on my own, now. I found this site through an Instagram LGBT+ support page, and browsing through it I thought it may help, talking to people who are in my same situation or have already managed to get better. So...that's why I'm here. I don't know any of you yet, but I'd love to, and hope we'll get along well. ♥️
  4. I'm sorry my English isn't good enough, I'll explain once more if something's not clear. Believe it or not, I'm male and I belong to a DID system. There are two of us now, me and my sister, who's the host. The body is cis female. None of us feels non-binary or going through gender changes. I'm not sure if it's OK for me to join the community, but I'm in need for information about my appearance, my health and overall pass because I use my sister's body to live and communicate. There are also mental health issues that I must take into account. Long story short, my sis was a victim of extreme everyday physical and emotional abuse for more than 20 years, there was also some sort of sexual harassment involved. I realized myself about four years ago, it was the first time I was able to think, speak and walk by myself. I do have memories about my (our) childhood but it's hard to answer when I'm asked about my real age. I had hard time first two years since then learning how to write and speak properly, focusing on a subject and keeping long sentences in mind was too difficult. I felt like a child or an old man who just came out of hospital. Today I'm finally able to think and act my actual age. We both had to hide my existence and switching from our abusers for years before my sis was able to escape abroad at last. Having to hide had negative impact on me, because I had to mimic her voice and face expressions which was harder and harder as time went on. It put some dysphoria on me, a kind of more personality based rather than gender dysphoria. But most problems were purely practical, sorting out tasks and events after memory gaps (sis), surviving in violent conditions, serving as a slave and not being detected (me) were main objectives. My sister was forced to wear ugly clothes, the abusers made her deny her gender and humanity by calling herself 'ugly worm', 'instrument', 'dead weight', 'empty skull', 'nothing but a piece of **** in public. It's just an addition to beating the hell out of her on regular basis. She may be still suffering from PTSD, it's been less than a year now since she ran away. She's now living with her fiancé, he was my best friend even before we moved in. They've been in a long-distance relationship for eight years. There was a sudden outburst of new identities two years ago, which made my sister suffer great pain, panic and memory losses. It hit me hard too, I had speech and concentration problems for several months until that period ended. Those identities were numerous, all malevolent in different ways, insane and pathological. They wanted to provoke self-harm, some of them attempted to kill themselves or ruin the body in some way. My sister's future husband was the one to handle this chaos alone, he even managed to engage me in the process of getting rid of those mad identities. I couldn't have direct contact with those creatures, just the same way I can't contact my sister directly. They all seemed to be female, but it was hard to tell since they've been obsessed with suffering only. Anyway, it didn't last long and it's all in the past now. Once my sister found her place in a new family, our system obviously stabilized, we live in peace like regular siblings with no pathological interference. I'm willing to attend psychiatrist, but I cannot do it right now because of immigration affairs. Our insurance now covers only basic treatment and emergency healthcare. I won't be able to undergo psychiatric examination by my own desire for two years onward due to my immigration status. For now our only therapy is friendly support and social interaction. Thanks for understanding. I'm open to questions. Everyone have a nice day.
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