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Found 10 results

  1. Twinstar4

    Hello

    Hi, I'm a parent and ally, interested in doiing what I can to make the world a more accepting place. I've been in the trans community for 10 years. I entered it full of fear for my child but today I can say she is a healthy, happy, independent adult and I am very grateful. I am also very proud of her. It was a process, and it wasn't easy but our human instinct is to love and protect our children and that's what I did. Im interested in being a member of a mutually supportive environment and that's why I'm here.
  2. SamanthaC

    Hi I'm Samantha

    Hi everyone! I have been on an emotional roller coaster for two weeks, at times feeling like my head was going to explode with all the self analysis I had been doing. So many sleepless nights I've been exhausted. I've been crossdressing for years. Since I was 10 or 11 I think (i'm 56 now). I been through several painful purges - and everything has been fine for about 2 or 3 years. I've been depressed, overeating and drinking way too much. Generally hating myself and not knowing why. Two weeks ago my wife and 10 year old daughter planned a road trip leaving me on my own for the weekend. Normally when I am on my own I love to crossdress - so I started planning the clothes I would buy how which Amazon locker to pick them up from - I had it all worked out. A few days before my wife was about to leave I had an overwealming urge to tell her. to two nights I couldn't sleep, thinking it through, going back and forth, In the end I just blurted it out. My wife is very progressive and works with the LGBT community but even so I wasn't sure how she would react. I know it came as a complete shock to her, but she was very understanding and supporting. I felt extremely happy I told her, it gave me more confidence. To cut a long story short, since then (last week) I've explored a lot of who I am, seen a therapist, shaved my body hair, and had a manicure (leaving my nails long and shaped like a woman nails). I'm pretty sure I'm a transgender woman - it just feels right. I'm more more content and less depressed than i have been and feel good about the life - and for the first time, myself. I have a plan to lose weight - which I'm determined to do. Looking forward to the journey ahead (at least I think so ) .
  3. rainbowmirror

    introducing myself

    Hey there. I'm Henry, a college student studying social work and game design. I'm FtM/transmasculine and my pronouns are he/they. On the trans side of things, I have yet to begin transitioning but I hope to do so one day. I am fully out to everyone IRL. I've known that I'm not a girl for as long as I can remember but solidifying exactly what I am and how I feel wasn't so easy. If I were to take a stab at describing how I feel, I would probably say I'm nonbinary with a bit of masculinity thrown in. However, referring to myself as a guy is easier and requires less explanation to others in daily life. Even if that doesn't wholly capture my gender identity, it is succinct and doesn't create that discomfort and anger in being referred to as a girl. I sure hope that makes some sort of sense? In regards to everything else about me, I am very into music as a listener. Some genres I particularly enjoy are punk rock, metal, industrial, dark ambient... the list goes on. Some notable bands/artists I admire are SWANS, Ghost, Talking Heads, and Dominick Fernow. I collect physical music, vinyl records mostly but I won't turn my nose up at CDs or cassettes. Other hobbies are video games, creative writing, art, and keeping plants and reptiles. My long-term goal as of now is to make my own indie horror game mostly of my own efforts, including the art design and soundtrack. I have been drawn to this forum as a means of reading other people's stories and the guidance/advice given to them and hopefully finding a way to apply it to my own life. I aim to offer some of my own stories or advice down the line once I get acquainted with the platform. Of course, I also hope to befriend and connect with other people like me.
  4. lauraincolumbia

    Hello from Maryland

    Hello All, Laura from the Baltimore Washington suburbs here. Looking to meet new people. Laura
  5. Firstly, I'd like to say hello. I'm an anxious, rather shy person. I've fallen from a distant star into this alien body. Feminine all my life now I'm transitioning as fast as I can. I'm a mature transsexual lady, a late bloomer. I am a client of government funded gender clinic in Melbourne, Australia. I also have gender affirming medical treatment at several other clinics and hospitals. I commenced HRT in August 2017 and had bilateral orchiectomy in August 2018. I'm scheduled for tracheal shave in October 2019. Thanks for allowing me to join Trans Pulse. I hope I can contribute in some way. I'm always looking for more discussion and information related to transgender subjects. I'd like to connect with others in the trans community.
  6. ButYouDontLook~

    Hi, my name is Clover

    Warning - very long post ahead which is basically my life story Hi, my name is Clover and I've recently realized I'm non-binary. For a very long time I struggled with my gender identity. I was assigned female at birth, but as I got older I started to realize that I wasn't just completely a girl. This was before I knew anything about being non-binary or genderqueer, but I knew about being transgender. However, I knew I was not transgender. I knew I didn't want to transition to male. I didn't know what to call how I felt, and I didn't want to say I was trans because that isn't true and I didn't want to be disrespectful by saying I was. So for several years I just continued to live as I did, but just saying I was female. Luckily I'm able to masquerade as female (I'm not out yet to ANYONE that I know personally) while still being able to live a more non-binary life. I've always been a "tomboy" so nobody is surprised when I wear men's clothing or do/enjoy "manly" things. I've lived a very rough life. I won't go into all the details because it may be triggering to some. My parents split when I was only 9. After I turned 10 we had to move two hours away from home and live with my grandma, and I was miserable. My mom was depressed and practically pretended my brother and I didn't exist. I developed depression around the same time, which went untreated for years. I wasn't popular and middle-high school was pretty miserable. I had many crappy boyfriend's along the way. Around my junior year I really just stopped caring about what other people thought of me and just did my own thing. Then I graduated a year early. Everyone hears that and is like "omg you're so smart!" but in reality I went into an alternative school program because I was failing whoops. I mean yes, I guess I am smart. I was one of the kids who did super well in elementary and middle school but then totally blew it in high school. It was mostly because I kinda just gave up and did the bare minimum. But now I'm out of school so yay! Another thing I realized is that my brother and I are autistic. I was always a little off, but everyone was just like "oh she's just being a kid." But the the show The Good Doctor came out and I related so much to Sean, the main character and autistic surgeon resident. So I started doing research (on reputable websites) and the pieces just sort of fell into place and everything made so much more sense. Unfortunately, I apparently "don't look autistic" so nobody really believes me. I also have fibromyalgia, which sucks a whole bunch. I live with a lot of pain, but I'm doing my best to handle it. Some little fun facts about me: - I like the YouTube channel Game Grumps - I like the YouTube channel Game Theory (and their second channel GT Live) - I like art - I like music and love to sing - I'm 5'4" and only realize how short I am when standing next to my boyfriend in a mirror - I like to eat (it's a problem) - I play video games sometimes, and dungeons and dragons TLDR: my name is Clover, I'm non-binary, my life sucked, I'm autistic, I have fibromyalgia, fun facts
  7. JTCaterpillar

    Mildly distressed Heyo!

    Hello from Louisiana, everyone! I have a lot to say so if you don't mind I'll go ahead and start.. I bought a sports bra today. It was $2 from someone on Letgo. My desire to go back in time to be born female is probably the greatest wish I've ever had. I know I prayed that it would happen almost every day from the time I was 6 to when I was like, 12. I grew my hair out to my shoulder blades and it was funny, because people would actually always mistake me as female and I would indignantly correct them. Yet, I would secretly, when no one else was around, tie my hair back in laughably bad ponytails and try to figure how the hell to make mascara look pretty. I never felt comfortable during those years because I was so dedicated to my long hair, but I was so unsettled by my wishes. My father figure was a big beefy man's man who was a Marine and a punk rock drummer. He proved to ultimately be a scumbag but he instilled a sense of manhood in me that I want to improve on. He imposed that classic toxic masculinity while emotionally abusing me and my alcoholic mother. Chin up, sit down, don't cry, grow up, and *grow some -censored- balls.* His constant letdowns created so much inner turmoil in me, and even so, it impacted me. I feel like it's something I have to do.. to be a better man than he ever was. I fantasize about finally growing facial hair (even though now, at 19 it has yet to fully come in yet), and even being a father one day. I want to be strong. I want to be strong *and* retain my sensitivity. Despite this, I feel a dreadful discontentment towards my own sex. I've always felt uncomfortable with my penis and I've never enjoyed its performance. I feel that phantom vagina, that so many other trans people have felt. I still have that wish I've always had, to be born female. It's been this way all my life, just typical suffering. So I bought the sports bra. I've worn it all day and I've felt so happy. I used to be so utterly ashamed. Last week I drunkenly came out to my friends on Twitter that I've always had these feelings about wanting to be female. I received lots of support, but I regretted the admittance, and really considered deleting the tweet altogether when one friend actively held a 1-on-1 conversation with me about my pronouns in our big active Discord. I was secretly incredibly happy to be so open about it but it stressed me out a lot as well. It helped me find solace in that decision, however. I don't know what I want to be. I am a writer, and someone who wants to strive towards a life of meaning over happiness. I still love punk rock more than anything even though the one who showed me the world proved to be my greatest demon. I'm pretty sure I know *who* I want to be. But I'm so utterly lost! I know a therapist is the one to discuss with on this matter. But this is America, and I live on my own. Rent is the priority. I think I am asking for advice, or encouragement. Maybe I just want someone to tell me one way or the other, but we all know how foolish that is. Regardless, I'm planning to join the Navy for 4 years in order to fund my college goals, so I may resort myself to the closet until I'm 24 out of pure necessity.. and that's an utter downer. At least I can have more time to really look within myself and solve my dilemma. I hope you all have a great evening. Thank you so much for reading. THAT means quite a lot to me.
  8. tgpuppie

    No longer a puppy

    The title is a shout out to my screen name really! I came up with it 15 years ago, definitely NOT a transgender puppy anymore. I'm an old dog with very few new tricks. I started my transition 15 years ago, on testosterone for 14 years now. I say I started 15 years ago, I didn't really start anything though. I legally changed my name and started taking weekly injections. Nothing about me changed. I knew who I was when I was younger and unfortunately put someone's happiness above my own and once that was corrected I started the process. I was born and raised in Florida and now find myself in Indiana. Have been here for 12 years. Usual story, moved here for a woman..it failed..and here I am. But my family isn't close, with me anyway, so it's not terrible being without them. I've made a small circle of really.good friends. I've recently become more open with my journey. I don't deny who I am anymore. I've had relationships where it was looked down upon if other people knew I was trans. That's a whole other bucket of worms for a whole other thread though! I'm here to mingle and make some new friends and maybe share some wisdom as well as humorous and/or anxiety riddled stories! Thanks for reading! Chris
  9. So... how do I go about this? I've never been good at these whole 'introduce yourself' sort of things. So, I'll do this the best way I can. My name is Eric, though, I wasn't born an Eric. I was born with a name for a female, and sadly, that's what people thought I was all because of the parts between my legs and what's on my chest. However, I absolutely hate those. If it was up to me, I'd gladly chop my chest off. My birth certificate says I am a 'female' but that doesn't match what I've always felt. I hate it. Anyway, I'm 27 years old and from New Orleans. When I was young I used to do things differently than most girls. I would play with the boys, always being caught talking about 'ninja's' and found on the playground playing karate, soccer, baseball, football, everything. I wasn't just one of your everyday girls. Granted I did play babies and barbies, but that was about it. Even then I'd always say I wanted to be the dad and so on and so forth. It never really bothered me that I was always called dude or anything. It never bothered me that while girls wanted to wear dresses or skirts, I wanted to wear jeans and the coolest TMNT shirt or some superhero shirt. It never really dawned on me that I was different. Not until Halloween when other little girls wanted to wear princess costumes and I wanted to be a Power Ranger or The Grim Reaper. I kind of brushed it off though as being very tomboyish, which I assumed was the problem. Especially since growing up I was the only 'girl' in the family. Nobody in the family had another and so I was raised with a lot of boys. It was normal for me. At around six years old, after my family ran into financial troubles, I was forced to wear my older brothers hand-me-downs. Honestly, I felt so comfortable in that and couldn't have been happier with myself. In middle school, when I hit puberty though, things got pretty bad for me. So at 12 years old, I attempted suicide. Doctors put me on anti-depresents and things went only even more downhill from there as it interfered with my ADHD medicine. One of them had to be taken off. Whether my parents wanted a child who people said wouldn't even finish 9th grade because of my issues if I went off of my ADHD meds, or a child who was severely depressed and attempting suicide every free moment I got. They decided it was best to keep me on ADHD meds and just get me in with the school counselor as well as a childhood shrink. I eventually fell far into depression because I didn't seem to fit in with anyone and so I turned to the computer. It helped my ADHD in a sense, but I eventually became addicted and 'hyper-focused' on the computer. Which is something my doctors told my mother was bound to happen with something as children and adults with ADHD tend to hyperfocus on things that interest them. Anyway, at 15 I ventured into my first online forum and created an account with the alias of 'Logan' and set my gender to male. Nobody seemed to notice anything weird about 'Logan'. I was around 16 when I realized what transgender was and that the things I was doing weren't normal. My parents were both very conservative, my father being incredibly homophobic and my mother, while tolerant, never spoke about anything LGBT either. They also pushed aside my aunt when she came out as Lesbian, so I never felt comfortable coming out. I began cutting as a way to escape the things I was feeling. My grades dropped substantially and I was failing classes. Honestly, I was a mess, my parents 'problem child'. The one that school counselors told my parents I would never graduate. Told my parents I'd wind up dead in a ditch sometime by the age of 19. I was that child nobody had any hope for. I began feeling that with my peers as well. At 17 years old I came out to my mother. I was unable to hide it anymore. She told me she always knew, that I wasn't exactly a girl. And then she kind of guilt-tripped me saying that she named me after her baby doll 'Krissy' when she was a little girl, When I asked if she still loved me she said 'I loved you before I even met you' and stuff. Even said I was always that 'little girl she always wanted'. I felt bad about taking that away from her. So I told her I was wrong. I was just a tomboy. I attempted suicide once more that night and was taken to the hospital. At 19, I graduated High School, made sure to prove all those people wrong who told me I would never graduate (I failed 6th grade for not dressing out in PE and started school a year late since I went to a Catholic pre-school). My parents also divorced that year before I graduated and so I spent a lot of time back and forth between my fathers and my mother who lived with my grandmother now. At 20, I was jobless, not in college, grades not good enough for any college. My father began getting drunk, and during one pretty bad night he threw a punch at me and missed my head by a centimeter, left a giant first hole in the wall. My father was always verbally abusive as a kid, and I freaked out when he tried to hit me. I never expected he'd throw a punch at me. And yet he did. Since getting out of school, I always struggled with finding a job and was only really able to get seasonal jobs. I really struggled with whether or not I should tell my father since he always talked poorly about LGBT. I tried telling my little sister, she told me I was stupid and a freak. That I deserved to die. I kind of was confused since her best friend is Trans and I asked how she couldn't support me and she said because I was her sister. It was different. I cut that night after I told her I was joking. A year later I told my little cousin (who is like a little brother to me and I kind of head to his house when I need an escape from things). I know it's kind of weird that literally my only friend and best friend is 18, but like... you take what you're given. Also, he is so similair to me it's like he was a twin born to a different family. Anyway, he accepted me and told me he was gay. So we were able to bond over it. I even told my other cousin a week later (his older brother) who is gay as well. So they both really have been very supportive. I've been able to help me when I'm around them in using the correct pronouns and name and such. I'm now 27, still living with a father who literally last night began screaming at me because he was drunk, and couldn't do anything else. However, I recently secured a job making 12.50 an hour, so I am hoping I'll soon be able to move out and kind of finally make the venture into being who I know I am. I joined this place to try and make friends who know what I'm going through or just talk and stuff. So yeah... Fun Facts: I built my first computer when I was 14. I beat a life guard in a swimming contest in an Olympic sized pool when I was 16. I broke my arm over 20 times because of a birth defect in the bones. I chose the name Eric because when I came out the first time to my mom, I let her pick my male name. Eric was what my name would have been if I was a male. So it's what I picked. I am addicted to the Sims.
  10. Elliott

    Hi! The name's Elliott!

    Hi! I'm Elliott. I'm a teen who has spent half of the year figuring out how they identify gender wise. I'm currently identifying as a fluidflux trans guy, but I have also, in order, identified as demigirl, bigender transgender and boyflux. I'm also currently using they/them pronouns. My orientation has always been easier, maybe because it's more linear and obvious, for me at least. I am asexual and bi/panromantic. I also love sci-fi TV. My favourites are Star Trek (all series) and Babylon 5. I love reading, mostly LGBT+ YA books, and I have far too many favourite books to list! I also write fanfiction and have been doing so for four years. I joined Trans Pulse because I want to be able to connect with more people in the trans* community. Anyway, I'll probably see you around! -Elliott
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