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  1. I am in need of sincere consul. My son (until otherwise identifying, he has not yet explored his pronouns yet and I will fully embrace them when he has) has been recently requesting to wear dresses. I have absolutely no problem buying him the clothes that he will feel more comfortable in and will help him love himself for who he is.. But I do have a problem with wearing them out into public - however, not for reasons you might expect. We live in a considerably conservative city. My son has been in full bloom and expresses his love for all things pink/purple, covered in glitter and exploding with rainbows. He loves unicorns - he will tell you so in as many words as you allow. He loves all things cute. If it's small, in dog-form and can wear an outfit, he probably owns the stuffy. My son is eight years old. My son has also been violently bullied at school. We spent most of last year struggling with four boys bullying him every day. I met with his teacher countless time, demanded an audience with his principal, called regularly to speak to the on-site counselor - and it became easier as my son surrounded himself with the children that accepted him. The bullies persisted, and there were days he didn't want to go to school, but we survived. He wore his unicorns, he painted his nails, he grew out his hair - as long as it was within the school's dress code, I allowed it. Over this last summer, he asked the question I was waiting for. "Mom, can we buy a dress?" I'm no stranger to bullies. I know as he gets older, it's going to get harder. I know that those boys shoving him may come to blows and nose-bleeds. I know it may involve flipped up skirts, confrontation in the bathroom and ugly slurs... I know the boys he was in class last year are still here this year and with many others added to the pack. They already aren't kind, I don't want to add fuel to the already unsupervised fire. We have since bought several dresses that I allow him to wear at home or out in town if he's with me but he wants to wear them to school. I understand why he wants to wear them to school but I also know why I don't want him to. I told him that I would let him wear a dress to school as soon as he could defend himself in one - and he has been in Taekwondo for months since. But I still don't feel it's fair to him. I don't want to closet his identity because I'm trying to protect him.. I also don't want to set him up for failure. He's struggled with depression and I'm at a moral standstill. Do I protect my son and continue to allow him to wear them only at home, where he is surrounded by the love and protection of his family? Or do I allow him to be who he longs to be without restriction and come ready to face the consequences? What would you do in my shoes?
  2. Hey there, community! I'm Dain and I'm new here, both in the forums and the trans community in general. I'm nonbinary, pronouns they/them. I never thought I belonged in the community. I only realized I am indeed trans recently, specially after reading Devon Price's " All Other Trans People Are Real, But *I* Am A Terrible Fraud ". That's when it clicked for me, given that my experience was so close to theirs. Before I had just taken for granted that I was wrong in some way. Now a whole new world of questions opens up for me and I'm not sure how to go about it. I did however already come out to my immediate family and close friends. Which is where I start to raise more questions, when I talk about it to others. I'm not very social, so in my day to day I'm just me and life is simple. But when it comes to interacting socially, suddenly there seems to be many things to consider... This is where I feel getting in touch with the community might help. Also, I guess I should try to find a local community to connect with. Thing is I'm an expat (moved to Sweden last January) and I'm still figuring things out at a basic level. I suppose I'll be posting in the nonbinary section of the forum soon. Anyway, nice to meet you!
  3. (Disclaimer: I am not out to my family because they are against anything LGBTQ related) So it was a normal family dinner with me and my family sitting down to some dang good soup I'd slaved over today. The topic of conversation? My wedding. Personally, I'd like to get married someday, so I was joking with my brother that because he wasn't being nice to me that he was no longer invited. Then, suddenly, out of the blue, my father chimes in with: "You can't invite any nonbinary people". I'm silent out of shock (Because how does he even know that word!?!?!?) The rest of my family are silent, but soon start asking questions. Turns out, he'd seen on the news today that Jonathan Van Ness from Queer Eye came out as nonbinary. I probably should have found it hurtful, or have been scared, but to be honest, I just laughed. Even if it was an inappropriate moment to do so. Because he said that to me, who identifies as a nonbinary gender. Who would be the one of the two people that the wedding is all about. God, if he knew. 😅 Guess I'm not allowed to be invited to my own wedding anymore!
  4. Hi all, I'm Charlie and I'm non-binary, as far as I can tell. I'm still in the beginning of figuring out my gender identity, but the one thing I know is that I'm certainly not the cis woman I always lived as until recently. I am not uncomfortable with the idea of presenting as a woman, in fact some days I love it. But there are other days when putting a dress on and going out makes me want to tear my skin off. On those days I looked like my brother, I wish my chest was flat and my shoulders were broader. At the moment, my chest is uncomfortably large. I am a DD or even E depending on the store. I find it incredibly difficult to flatten my chest even a little, and lately I've just given up and worn sports bras almost exclusively. They don't flatten me like a binder does, but there is so much to compress that a binder feels like being suffocated. Not to mention I live in a city where it can get up to 115 degrees Fahrenheit in the summer. I've been thinking about getting top surgery for a few months, and just scheduled a consultation with a surgeon in my city. I am beyond excited, but also a little nervous. I suppose the thing that makes me so nervous is that I'm still uncertain about a lot of things. I don't know quite what I am, but one thing I do know is how much I hate having breasts, large or not. The very concept of having any size breast on my body makes me uncomfortable to say the least. I'm realizing post isn't really a question so much as a big compilation of anxieties. I guess I'm wondering if anyone has ever gone through something similar? And also, what can you do in the meantime? The soonest consultation I could get is in October, so I don't expect to have surgery until well into next year. What can I do to make the waiting less miserable? It feels like now that I know what it is I hate so much, living with it is even more difficult.
  5. i’ve known for years that i’m not a girl. i went from identifying as gender fluid to just calling myself nonbinary. i keep saying i’m fine with usually being misgendered because i tend to present a bit more feminine & i know people don’t see anything else when they look at me unless they know the truth. but i’m really tired of it... it makes me uncomfortable to have boobs (even uncomfortable to talk about the fact that i have them lol) and it makes me uncomfortable to be called a girl, to be referred to as ‘she.’ in the last six or seven months, i’ve been wrestling with the idea of maybe i’m a boy. i feel closer to that than to being a girl, and sometimes i think ‘i wish i had just been born a boy’ because then i wouldn’t have to worry about it. i could just be a boy. and i feel like that’s very telling, but i also feel like i don’t really fit on the binary in that way. and i keep saying i can be whatever kind of boy i want, i don’t have to conform to the standard masculinity and i don’t even have to change my pronouns. i guess what i want to ask is if there’s anyone else afab who has at least partially transitioned (top surgery, hormones, whatever) but doesn’t identify as a man? if anyone retains some sort of nonbinary identity while also taking the steps to transition physically? i feel like this might be where i’m at and maybe what i want but hearing someone else’s story if it’s the same/similar would help validate my own feelings and maybe it will help me be closer to knowing who i want to be i guess
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