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Hello, Recently I started coming out as trans to my immediate family and friend circle. I have spent most of my life (25 yrs) wishing I were a boy, and being uncomfortable/sad being referred to as female. I am generally OK with my body, I'm pretty sure HRT is not for me, but I bought a chest binder and have been feeling loads better because of it. Just trying at this point to accept myself as a boy, trying to undo the years of seeing myself as female. If I could press a button to become male, I would -- I just want to FEEL like a boy, if that makes sense. And, sometimes I do, and it's exhilarating! Anyway, when it involves to coming out to other people, I've been less certain. My friends are generally understanding, but I am now the only LGBT person in our circle. I've brought up wanting a gender neutral name and using male pronouns, but when friends and family do use them around me (oftentimes correcting themselves) I feel horribly embarrassed and ashamed. Is this normal? I feel like it's a mix of things, like I'm worried people don't actually SEE me as a boy, because I don't and probably will never pass as a boy. I feel totally vulnerable making this change. What if I have second thoughts? But at the same time, even though it's familiar, I don't want to go back to the female name/pronouns because I don't want to spend my whole life wishing for something that I don't allow myself to attain. I guess I'm just scared. I'm in this middle ground now where nothing feels right (except occasionally when I am out with one good friend who is crazy supportive I feel excited). I want to be a boy so bad, and so far everyone has been very nice, why don't I have the bravery to do this?? I have a gender therapist I've been seeing but I haven't been jiving very well with her, she just sits there and stares at me smiling and then I feel like I have to yammer to avoid the silence. So, I have made another appointment with someone else, but it's a couple week out, which is why I am reaching out here for support. Thank U in advance, --UghToast
I’m currently stuck in a tough situation right now. I recently came out as trans to my parents. This was around 2015. I was 16 years old. My mom and dad did not want to accept who I am. They still love me. Nothing has changed. Fast forward to 2017. They still haven’t came around but I’m being patient and understanding. They did not want me to transition and so they kept me from transitioning while I was still a young teen. In a way, I felt like it is abuse because I have severe dysphoria and at first they didn’t believe me but I guess now they do because I have been persistent with my feelings of being the opposite gender. There was occasional questioning on my part because they didn’t make me feel so secure in my skin. I learned that I need to live for myself and not my parents. I have to find another place to stay because my parents are uncomfortable with me being transgender and transitioning. They are Baptist so they’re pretty rigid in their belief system. I don’t have any money. I actually was let go from my job at Kohl’s because I was only seasonal and they didn’t pay me enough for me to support myself. I’m currently unemployed and do not have the financial means to move out. I can’t go to a homeless shelter because technically I’m not homeless but at the same time I don’t have the freedom at home to be myself. My dysphoria is high functioning and it’s the only thing that’s on my mind all the time. Does anyone know of programs specifically for the lgbt population that provides housing? I can take anything at this point. My goal is to move out as soon as possible. It’s the only way I can be truly happy. I’ve been diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria so I know for sure this isn’t schizophrenia or bipolar disorder.
Hi, I'm a mostly-in-the-closet older trans man. I realize I need more support as I only have one person I can really talk to, and that's my 23 year old child. And a parent shouldn't be downloading their troubles to their child. I've tried online support groups, but perhaps because I am older it doesn't feel real to me. I have tried in-person support groups, and they don't seem to help either. If I could one true friend there it might, but I am painfully shy. I have always had a problem talking in groups, and what they seem to talk about doesn't interest me. Does anyone have any advice on were I could find more support?