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Found 10 results

  1. Rorelai

    Howdy from PA

    Hi everyone! My name is Rory, I'm a 21 year old trans girl living in central Pennsylvania. I started my transition socially just over 3 years ago, and I've been on hormones since last October. Jackie Rabbit's YouTube channel brought me here, and I guess I'm looking for a community of other trans folks because since I can't be with my regular support network because of COVID. I have a wonderful group of people that I get to live with when I'm at college, and now that I'm back home there's still a few people outside my family that I still keep in touch with, but they don't always understand everything that's going on with me and my transition. I'll probably put together some other posts in the appropriate forums about my experiences with hrt, passing, and how my sexuality has changed in relation to my gender. This is getting long now, but I look forward to interacting more with the lovely people on this forum 💜
  2. CreepyConfusedKid

    I am so confused.

    I've been feeling a lot of dysphoria lately. I keep thinking that I might be trans. Now here's the problem: Some times when I feel like a girl, a few minutes later I'll deny it and feel like a boy again. I am so confused. Sometimes I want to be a girl but sometimes I want to stay a boy. I keep saying things like "I'm too boyish to be a girl but I'm too emotional to be a boy". I am pretty muscular for my age and I have a very deep voice and I hit puberty at 9 so that's why I feel like I can't be a girl. But I feel like I can't be a boy because I act very feminine. I'm so confused. Help pls.
  3. Guys I think I'm a borderline alcoholic. I'm not sure I'm only 18 yrs old but my sister is a meth addict and because of my hidden trauma from it all I stole alcohol for the first time since I've gone to therapy, but now every time I drink I get this freeling that makes me want to drink the bottle dry and it scares me. If anyone is comfortable talking about it, what were some early signs that led u to know u were an alcohol? Bc I've done online tests but they're all about signs of alcoholism in th later on stages. I do deeply apologize to anyone who may have felt triggers by this post
  4. Ryderdie567

    Hi I'm Ryder

    Hi, so my name is Ryder and I am 17 years old, I am a trans guy and I am also gay, feel free to ask me any questions!
  5. when i came out to my mother as trans she told me that I wasn't because I am attracted to boys. I told her that I like all of the genders and she just went off. she started yelling at me, saying that i was a f***** and said i was a gross guy who was obsessed with butt sex. she started harassing me, asking me how i like butt sex and how im disgusting. mind you i was only 12 when this happened
  6. Okay hi! So those of you that have been regulars in helping me sort out my journey here on trans pulse know that I'm dealing with a lot of shame surrounding my identity and it really bothers me. My sister has been dating this woman for like 6 months and it getting kind of serious so she wants to bring her home for Christmas and I'm very very nervous. Now mind you i AM a socially anxious person but I'm abnormally anxious. And I think it's because my sister told her I was trans and that I go by Trevor. My sisters girlfriend had no issues as far as know but I get this feeling of embarrassment? Or that feeling of having someone you don't know see you naked? I don't know... I can't take the embarrassment anymore. sometimes I think the embarrassment or Shame is reverse dysphoria and then I start to question if I truly am trans. Or sometimes I think the name Trevor doesn't fit me or that Trevor is more of a different side of me or an alter ego if you will than actually me. I don't know. I can't make a decision to save my life so having to make the decision to outwardly change myself socially and physically to the world to be happy has been my greatest burden. Why am I so embarrassed for my sisters girlfriend to know me and address me as Trevor?? sometimes I think it's a fear that deep down most people will think I'm "strange" but the other reason is I get second hand dysphoria sometimes when I see a pre - T pre everything ft like me and I feel like when I go by Trevor in someone else's eyes they truly notice all the ways I DON'T look like a Trevor or im NOT A Trevor . am I making any sense?? Deeply grateful to anyone that takes the time to read this and give me insight/tips. Love to all. - Trevor
  7. Hello! A little over a year ago I came to this site questioning my gender and from that point forward I just identified as trans. It felt right, familiar, and just needed. But now almost a year and half later nothing has changed. I still haven't come out publicly just to close friends and family. and I'm still questioning who I am. At this point something just feels off. I don't why it's taken me this long? Maybe it's my minds way of telling me that this isn't what I want? Why am I so ashamed why is me being trans such a dirty little secret? I feel like it might be because I'm so afraid I might be wrong that I don't want to regret coming out. And that Just doesn't seem right to me. After almost a year and a half I don't think I should still be so unsure. The reason I'm writing this is because I read an article about a woman who transitioned to male and then detransitioned and there were something she said that really stood out. She said that she always had some aversion and shame surrounded by the word -lesbian- and that it just kind of felt bitter in her mouth and I 100000% agree with that. So now I'm thinking that maybe it's not being trans that I need to accept maybe it's being "a -lesbian-" and not feel shame in that . There are other parts of me where I feel really bad for months and will watch a teenage boy on a show and will think about it for days. Because I feel robbed, robbed that I didnt get to live my life as a boy and had to spend my childhood as a girl. But I don't know... Maybe I'm wrong but I'm pretty sure dysphoria is supposed to be a constant thing and not just come in waves. I don't know.. I feel like after this long I should have made some progress but I haven't. Why am I so afraid to tell people? is it internalized transphobia? Or is it because deep down I know I'm wrong and am not willing to make that mistake? I don't know and I've had so many people tell me it's subjective but I really am just looking for honest opinions at this point. If someone could please provide that for me id really appreciate it. I'm tired of feeling this way. thank you.
  8. Hi all, My girlfriend is a trans woman who came out to her family well over a year ago. Last night we were at her relatives for a party, where one of her aunts asked some invasive questions. In the process she brought up the deadname and that specific item made my girlfriend really uncomfortable during the rest of dinner. My girlfriend spoke to her aunt privately after dinner and came back in tears, then told me we had to leave. I offered to drive home and she got in the car as quickly as possible. As I'm leaving the house, the aunt stands on the stoop of the house with my girlfriend's mom yelling at me to get her back out here so she can explain, or for me to go tell my girlfriend the (what she considered) perfectly sound argument about why my girlfriend shouldn't be upset because she hadn't offended her (her words, not mine). My girlfriend really wants her family to remain in her life, and it's been incredibly difficult for her to come to terms with the difference in treatment she's experienced since coming out to them. And since she hasn't told me she wants to cut ties with anyone specifically, I didn't stay and argue with her aunt in front of her mom. I just said that we were leaving. Still, I feel awful about the situation, and knowing that there will likely be more similar ones in the future (as long as my girlfriend decides to attend family events, in any case), we know we both will need to be better prepared, mentally and emotionally. I hope some on here could share their own advice about dealing with particularly combative family when it comes to respecting trans people's requests. I understand if anybody's first suggestion is to cut ties with a toxic family member, etc., but at the moment that's a decision that rests on my girlfriend's shoulders, and I'm here to support her. At the moment I'm working on the assumption that she wants to stay around all the family she can, provided they show a willingness to educate themselves, listen, and respect her wishes.
  9. Filip

    I don't know what to do!

    I reaaally need advice, because I'm so lost and I've never been in the situation before. I started a new school. I can't have my name legally changed yet, so the computer system will have my birthname, but the system is not working yet and on a temporary list we have right now there's my actual name. I was supposed to come out to my classmates on the first day, but I chickened out, so basically everybody thinks I'm a cis guy now. It would be perfectly fine if the computer system had my preffered name, but it can't, so I have to come out. How do I do this? How do I explain this to the classmates? In person or via social media? Help!
  10. Tariane90

    Job stress

    I just need to vent. I feel back into a corner. Just started a new job where I thought I'd be comfortable and feel extremely out of place among my co workers, most are trans so I thought it would be a good fit but everyday I have my doubts and it sucks because I have much on my plate as it is and I feel alone in dealing with it all I don't know what to do. I'm stressed everyone's about gossip and nonsense here it seems with no real regard for hard and understanding of others situations. It's seems like a regrettable situation that I wish I'd thought twice about it only I'd known all the details however people have a way of pretending that works and that's hope I got sucked in. I wish there were more decent people in this world, because in most cases that's what it comes down to.
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