Catholic Communion

[Guest Elizabeth K]

I PM'd a friend on this. I expected a few words but it went further. I want to put this as a TOPIC

S.

My second wife divorced me against my wishes. I am not gay. I am transsexual - definately. Communion in the Catholic Chutch is a big question to us transpeople.

I know it is hard to understand the needs and the conditions of communion. I personally have this understanding as shown below, and have only confided in the Church to Sister Dulce - a psychc advisor who is a Nun in an Order in Baton Rouge. I do not know if there is a better person to consult in the church and I know the priests of my parish of St. John would have no understanding. In our condition, even physicians have no understanding. When i was first diagnosed I was enthusiastic to tell my story and to seek out help. But I soon discovered not one person outside of the transgender community understands! Only my two therapist and my prescribing physician have a clue, and when I asked them point blank if they understood my need to transition, personally they did not, being happy in their gender. I also have had the Christian Fundamintalist tell me I must accept myself as GOD made me (my sisters). I was very conflicted as I am very devout, and I asked GOD for resolution. This was before I was diagnosed as transsexual, and although I knew I was severely gender dysphoric, I didn't realize the extent.

To get off the subject for just a second, I was shown to be dual natured by my therapist, a PhD trained gender dysphoria specialist with years of training and over 100 cases of gender dysphoria in her casebooks. She said I was not a 'split' personality as I feared, rather I was dual natured. We worked to integrate me to see what I really am. After that, I was pretty much one person again - and then we worked to see who that was. It was me - and I am a woman. So then we looked at options. I chose to transition.

Now back to the subject, how did I get to that point through GOD and the Catholic Church? There are several ways to know GOD, two ways are through (1) rathional thought, and (2) direct prayer.

Rational thought:

Scriptures - which I feel are very much something we need to know - as changed as they have been through translation - I firmly believe GOD has allowed them to be preserved in a form of HIS intent. I believe in the scriptures, not as the literal word, but as HIS intended word. Does that make sense? All I say is we need to be careful to keep the Scriptures in context and not read what is not really intended. Therefore, I have been a Bible scholar of sorts, more of a historical Bible researcher, one who employes a more secular look at it , mixed with a Holy Grace of His watching and guiding my interpretation. And I do not suffer fools kindly. I will challange those who misuse HIS WORD. I do that with my sisters. I do that with the nay-sayers who claim we transgendered are an abomination. I REFUSE that arguement as you will see.

So back to Communion: and the following is from the Bible, and a Catholic Guidence site.

"Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of man and drink his blood, you have no life in you; he who eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day. For my flesh is real food, and my blood is real drink. He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him. As the living Father sent me, and I live because of the Father, so he who eats me will live because of me. This is the bread which came down from heaven, not such as the fathers ate and died; he who eats this bread will live forever" (John 6:53–58).

The Church sets out specific guidelines regarding how we should prepare ourselves to receive the Lord’s body and blood in Communion. To receive Communion worthily, you must be in a state of grace, have made a good confession since your last mortal sin, believe in transubstantiation, observe the Eucharistic fast, and, finally, not be under an ecclesiastical censure such as excommunication.

First, you must be in a state of grace. "Whoever, therefore, eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of profaning the body and blood of the Lord. Let a man examine himself, and so eat of the bread and drink of the cup" (1 Cor. 11:27–28). This is an absolute requirement which can never be dispensed. To receive the Eucharist without sanctifying grace in your soul profanes the Eucharist in the most grievous manner.

A mortal sin is any sin whose matter is grave and which has been committed willfully and with knowledge of its seriousness. Grave matter includes, but is not limited to, murder, receiving or participating in an abortion, homosexual acts, having sexual intercourse outside of marriage or in an invalid marriage, and deliberately engaging in impure thoughts (Matt. 5:28–29). Scripture contains lists of mortal sins (for example, 1 Cor. 6:9–10 and Gal. 5:19–21). For further information on what constitutes a mortal sin, see the Catechism of the Catholic Church.

The part I chose to discuss (and seem relevant to our discussion) are in bold.

For my flesh is real food, and my blood is real drink. transubstantiation - Is this a true fact? Well obviously the Host is sanctified as well as the wine. Catholicism is very concerned over the ritualization of this part for the sacriments. But is the host actually flesh? Is the wine actually blood? Literally not actually - yet, it is BECAUSE WE BELIEVE IT TO BE. Is GOD present at Mass? We can't see him - but he is there BECAUSE WE BELIEVE HIM TO BE. Same thing.

So I don't hang up on transubstantiation. I want to accept the flesh and blood of Jesus - as HE said we must. In the form of the Host and the Cup. Its what I want. After accepting communion, a tremendous peace decends upon me. That shows me I am in the Grace of GOD.

Because I am transsexual - am I NOT allowed Communion? A huge question! I asked GOD three time on this and HE answered I am welcome and encouraged to take Communion. But that is prayer - I looked at it again, through study.

The KEY to the entire idea is this. GOD made us transsexual. That in itself is the real and only answer. BUT to continue, let us see if we are an abomination? Did we chose to be transsexual? No. Is being transsexual a mortal sin? No. Do we chose to be this way? No. Is it a life style choice? No. Do we do it willingly? No - we are forced to be what we are. Are we homosexual, engage in homosexual acts? No. but here are homosexual transsexuals, just as there are blue-eyed transsexuals - its another matter entirely.

And now - having sexual intercourse outside of marriage or in an invalid marriage, and deliberately engaging in impure thoughts? Each person has to examine that. Being transsexual really is incidental. I honor my wife. My acts with her have always been honest and loving. My impure thoughts have really diminished after starting my transition, and essentially are gone .

So no mortal sins - there are other readings on mortal sins of course, but this is a quick review.

Second part: prayer

I have been gender dysphoric my whole life. I crossdressed (I thought that's what it was) for fifty years. THAT is the part that made me feel so guilty and unavailable for GOD's Grace. But HE kept providing it. I never understood. I finally asked for resolution - put it in HIS hands.

Okay - the story:

Every year there is a procession - a 'parade' in the local venacular. We take the statue of the Blessed Mother with the Christ Child, from the Chappel (located about 2 miles from the Church) to a Blessing Mass at the main Church. She is heavy - it takes about twenty men to carry Her. And the procession is the first weekend in July - HOT in South Louisiana. The entire town turns out. This is a Sicilian tradition - my wife is second generation American. I have been accepted into this community - and hope I can continue as my transition becomes more apparant - anyway.

So I have paticipated with her ever since we started dating. We walk the route, saying the Rosery. It is VERY much a spiratural experience. We march to the church Saturday, and return to the Chapel Sunday. There are two days of celebration and a Church fair. It is a great time of community.

BUT - the tradition is to ask the Blessed Mother for an Intercesion. It was an amazing thing for me when I started the walking. These requests were being granted, not always in the form expected, but truly coming to pass! I felt the power of prayer in a physical sense I had never known. I have prayed my entire life. I have learned to listen for GOD's guidence. It's HARD to listen but I learned. I do it all the time in good times and bad - so I am rather strange that way - I tell people I talk to GOD. Well - to avoid the men in white coats - I try to keep it subtle - I don't obcess on it... my enthusiasm is personal anyway! And my sister's ask, "How do you know it's GOD? I laugh - three answers - what he tells me ALWAYS comes to pass - the answers I get are usually different from what I expect, and most of all He never lies! Then I cap it off - 'How do you know it ISN"T GOD???

Shuts them up. When they came and told me transgenderism doesn't exist, that therapists do the work of the devil, that only two sexes exist - and I was male, and that I was in danger of going to hell ---- wow --- big day there! I asked how they knew all that. They said it is written in the Bible. Well, what they showed was on homosexuality (told them it didn't apply to gender dysphoria) and what was written I quoted back to them, but in context. So I expalined the real meanings.

Then they asked why I refused to believe? I said, "should I believe what GOD tells me directly? Or should I believe what you interpret GOD is saying?" That's when they asked how I knew it was GOD talking to me? Humm.. again, my first answer was 'How do you know it was not?"

So they left after a while, KNOWING I will burn in hell. I prayed for them asking GOD to give then more understanding and ability to love those who don't fit in their idea of the world.

BUT

Again I ramble. Asking for intercessions? WELL my whole life - always for someone else. My wife asked me - why not yourself? I guess I felt unworthy to ask GOD for myself sometimes. I do pray for things I need to do or understand. But it hit me - ask for GOD to help me.

My HUGE problem - GENDER DYSPHORIA! Dear LORD, give me resolution?

Not let me transition, not cure me at last, not let people understand, not let me live in peace as a male - RESOLUTION!

Things happed quickly after that. I will not go into detail. I was forced to go to a gender therapist, I was diagnosed, I asked guidence and was led to transitioning. End of story...

No, not quite.

I have a dying friend - Agent Orange poisoning. He is very spritual as would be expected in these last months - I came to him to offer peace as well as I could in his journey towards the end. He ministred to ME! Somehow he read me. Somehow it happens he has a transdaughter. A miracle of sorts occured... and he told me later, our next meeting, GOD had spoken to him and I was fine in HIS eyes. That my transition was under his Grace.

I was floored!

Later, my wife and I went to Sister Dulce in Baton Rouge. It takes two months to get to see her. We walked in - she read me, essentially repeated word - for - word what my dying friend said.

Conclusion:

So I know I am okay. I take Communion wiith a grateful heart. I thank OUR LORD for HIS help. I pray at night and ask HIM why I was made this way? He choses not to explain. GRIN

My story - I hope it helps.

Elizabeth

[Guest S. Chrissie]

Amen! Thanks for sharing your story. It was empowering.

Sherlyn

[Guest darlene lynn]

Dear Lizzy

I would like to tell You my story With JESUS. I was raise evolutionist. Christains would ask me arent you afraid of hell. My answer was no,for an evolutionist there is no God or Satan,No heaven no hell.

When I was 39yrs old Jesus spoke to me. He ask me if I beleive in HIM,I said I didnt know.He ask if I believed He was talking to me. When Jesus talks to you,you know it, and I said I believed He was speaking to me right then. And Jesus told me to go before God and ask Him to forgive my sins in Jesus name.And God would forgive me and write my name in the lambs book of life. I beleive!!

And no one can take that away from me. And beleive me, Ive had plenty tell me lest I be drawn or led to God by a man (preacher or priest) Im not saved.I think JESUS out ranks them..Ive had some say Jesus or God or The Holy Spirit doent talk to man...I feel sorry and I pray for those that dont think GOD can do what ever HE wants HE created this.

I can bring scripture if itll help,But in my words. SIN is something that GOD would not do Himself.

GOD is LOVE, We are in HIS grace till HE says enough is enough and we stand with Jesus before HIS great white throne. Transgender along with a long list is a sin,many things from thiefs,lying,crossdressing..etc etc..I can imagine the list of disobedents or sins go on forever.

But we must remember there hasnt been the final judgement by GOD yet. So we are still under grace, and will be till that day,GOD still is watching over us.

After 5yrs of study of God's word (bible) for myself. I became very depressed because I realized I would never be perfect. I sit one night praying and ended up crying myself to sleep.The next morning the Holy Spirit came to me and said,(If you could have ever been perfect GOD would have never sent JESUS),it took me a while to understand,but mankind has always sinned. Man cant be perfect without Jesus. Then Jesus came to me the next morning and said (I love You just as you are)(for I(Jesus) knew you before you were conceived) so Jesus knew who I was going to be before I was born,He knew I was going to be transgender,And He loved me anyway. Personally Im going to trust Jesus.When we stand before God the bible says God isnt going to see us or our sin He's going to see Jesus covering us and we will be His reward. Because of our faith in HIM. And God's promise to us to make a way back to Him through Jesus.

LOTS OF LOVE

Darlene Lynnette

[Guest ashley4623]

Oh yes, it helps... your story was very touching.

You see, as a Catholic myself, I've had to face the same exact things you were talking about. I went through a period of time where I wondered the same things you did, and eventually came to the same conclusions you arrived at.

I want to let you know that it was very comforting to read your post. I've been praying for an answer to this, and I think your post might be part of it. It's really nice to know that someone else has also come to peace with this.

Take Care, and God Bless!

[Guest Pól]

Thanks for this post, Lizzy. It helps some.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Maybe - just maybe - GOD made me this way - maybe, to write those words. I am so moved by the responses I just want to do more and more to pass on HIS word, and have as many as I can reach, in my remaining lifetime, to know of HIS Grace.

God Bless Us - Everyone (Dicken's of course - Tiny Tim - one of the most powerful word's of fiction ever written).

Lizzy

[Guest harvester52]

Amen, Lizzy! Your words warmed my heart.

-Fr. BC

[Guest Chiv]

Elizabeth,

From one Catholic to another. Thank you. I was not raised Catholic. I am not ready yet to share publicly my journey but very grateful for your heartfelt words. I will say this being who I am is one of many examples of how much God loves me.

[Guest Michele H]

Lizzy, I came back from meeting with the paster of a church I am thinking of joining, sat down and saw your post and had to chuckle a bit before reading your post. He does not know that I am transgendered - only that I am a lesbian but I felt safe when we met and that is very unusual for me for reasons that you know about. I also found him to be very inciteful,articulate and perceptive. I hope that in your spirtual journey that you can find someone within your church that can be what I hope I have found in this church.

As for "As God made us" - If you believe in free will, as I do, then I don't think you can say that God says "let this one be male and that one female and this one I will give a male body but in all else a female." God did create the natural process and nature does like to experment - a lot! so to that extent, I believe God accepts whatever variation nature comes up with. I also think that regardless of who we are, God presents us with opportunities to use those gifts in one way or another and Cries when those with little understanding would seek to diminish us in any way - including exclusion from the sacraments. I am still recovering from pneumonia so don't have much strength but I will try to at some point paraphrase what pastor Boyd said to me. God bless and may the holy spirit give you peace.

[Guest JustShelly]

oh yes communion should work to get to heaven

but then again isn't it up to the pope to decide that

[Guest Karen K]

I am so glad I came upon this thread. I am Catholic, and it has caused me a great distress for me as since the Second Vatican Council The Catholic Church has the view that Transexualism, Transgenerism and Gender Identity Dysphoria is a mental disease that is curable. I have not had the courage to ask/tell my priest of my pending transition to become a woman and what that would mean for me within our parish. I fear that he would refer me to a doctor/therapist within the Diocese. As if this would lead me to salvation.

So I thank you Lizzy, for that poniant letter. And I thank you Darlene for your personal story.

Praise God!

[Guest DanielleD]

Lizzy, you writing of this thread is wonderful and I am so happy that I was led to it. I was raised Southern Baptist what a scary nightmare that was growing up, but became Catholic several years ago. I have never heard or read this explanation. This is a thread I will come back too to think about it more deeply.

Keep putting up wonderful posts!

Have A Fabulous Day!!

Danielle:)

[Guest Elizabeth K]

The resurrection of this August 2009 Topic , and the subsequent rereading of it ... and of the wonderful responses... has led me to write this reply.

I think perhaps I was lead to write the original topic. I remember the event, the thinking on all I wrote, but the reasoning and the wording seem way beyond my abilities and talents, and I wonder at that. Could I write like that today, this very minute? I don't feel I could, yet perhaps I could again if God's grace was guiding my hand. Rereading brought me back to what I was thinking then, what I felt as I wrote those words.

Much has happened to be since August 2009. I have had the expected negative results of transitioning, the loss of my wife, loss of her family support, and even the loss of the very house I lived in when I wrote those words. Yet, God granted me my life's desire, 'resolution.' I was led to transition and became myself. I am finally me, irrevocably. And to accomplish that took a force well beyond, my capabilities. I can sum it up as this, His Grace will allow me peace in my last years of life here on earth.

Yes I still talk to 'God,' but it is revealed to me 'He' is the CREATOR, 'God' is the humanization of the CREATOR in a 'male aspect,' just as 'The Goddess' is 'Her' female aspect. And the CREATOR is also the 'Spirit,' as the Native American People have always known. So I now understand, again because 'He' explained it to me.

And I am Catholic still - but I am also an Unitarian Universalist. I believe in 'Ethical Living." I also use the Wicca way to celebrate and honor the CREATOR, so it's been a progression. My spirituality has never been stronger!

But I talk to God. always will, whatever form the CREATOR presents. I take Catholic Communion with a clear and pure heart. That will never change.

And, most of all, I do believe I was created transsexual for a reason, a reason the CREATOR almost laughinly refuses to share. And it may be, partially, to write these thoughts for all to see. Maybe to allow understanding we are truly in His Grace. Judgment may come later or we may be judged every microsecond of our lives. We will never know for sure, but we are truly in his Grace all the days of our lives.

Jesus understood it all... and I sometimes wish He were here to explain, I mean what He taught, without 2000 years of interpretation. Would we recognize Him? Would we simply crucify Him again? I would hope that I would know and understand Him [or Her, or whatever form Jesus really is]. But I fear it is possible I would not, so I live my life trying to keep my vision clear so I would not miss His return.

We are to love one another.

But to end this posting, I can only say to you, think on this. Prepare yourself by emptying your mind of concerns of this earth, and reach into the essence of your soul. And listen... the CREATOR is talking to you constantly. Maybe, just maybe, you are just not always listening.

Lizzy

[Guest PaintedWingss]

Thank for this! I, too, am Catholic and have been since birth. I went through a questioning period where I denied any possibility of me being transgender, bisexual, or the possibility that I had fallen in love with my best friend of the same sex as me because I had been taught by various religious education teachers that these things were sins. I've learned to accept who I am after rereading those passages that people use against us and remembering that God had told us that we should obey the two biggest rules, love thy neighbor and love Him and put no other god in front of Him. If God didn't want me this way, why was I born like this? If being gay is a sin, why did He make me that way? I've come to find that God made the LGBT community the way we are to be able to get over these obstacles and become strong.

At least, those are my thoughts in a nutshell. If you got me going, I could go much further. C:

- Taylor

[Guest Razilee]

As I understand the teachings of the Catholic Church, especially in the new Cathechism, homosexual acts are unnatural and sinful, so is the chemical or surgical contraception of transitioning. There may be extenuating circumstances where the risk for self-mutilation or suicide is great, but we are told that God will never give us more than we can handle with His help. Communion with Him sacrimentally and in prayer has certainly helped me, in my case much more than than the psychiatrist did. Laura's Playground with its the sharing and the cautions about transitioning have helped too.