I Feel Slightly Uncomfortable Buying Men's Clothes...

[Guest Thorndrop]

Since I don't look beleivably male, I have a really hard time trying to buy 'guy' clothes.. I can't feel comfortable going into a mens shop and buying something. Anyone else had a similar problem, and how did you get over it? Guys and girls can respond.

Another thing is since I can't really walk into the changing rooms in a men's shop, I've got absolutely no idea what size I'd need, or even if it'd be possible to buy things that'd fit me at all since I even have a hard time finding women's clothes that fit (I'm not short or anything, just really skinny). I dunno.. Guess it doesn't help that I'm really self-conscious anyway, but even though I'm ok with dressing in womens stuff sometimes, I don't like to all the time. Ok I'm just going on about nothing now so I'll shut up and say that I probably just need some encouragement for me to be myself.

[Guest Jean Davis]

Hi

You could just say that your buying a gift for your brother and tell them he wears about the same size that you do (nobody is going to know or care).

That way you can ask to try them on.

Mens clothing is simple to size. Most pants go by waist size and leg length in inches. All shirts go by S, M, L, XL and so on, but with dress shirts will also go with neck size (in inches ).

Hope this helps

Jean Davis

[Guest Roux]

I have a similar problem, especially with the comfort issue/self-consciousness. Dunno if this'll help you, but what I do in those situations sounds pretty easy on paper: I feign absolute, 100% self-confidence. I take my time browsing if I need to (rather than being furtive and quick, you know how it is), walk the clothes into the men's dressing room, and do my thing. If someone looks at me oddly I meet their eyes and smile a little--just enough to be polite, not enough to look like I'm encouraging conversation. Basically, I act like I own the place.

So far I've never gotten into any real trouble, though I've had to shrug off some impertinent comments. And I've never done this in a store strictly for men; it's been department stores. The few times I've been asked why I'm using the men's dressing room, I point out that the women's room is on the other side of the store (or on another floor altogether), and I'm not going to walk all the way down there to try on a shirt. Laziness/the efficient use of energy has always been a pretty commonly accepted reason for me to be in there. I really like Jean Davis' suggestion about the brother, though.

It took me a while to be able to feign the confidence, but every time was a little bit easier. And even better, successfully faking it actually built the real thing for me. I still get somewhat nervous every time, but at least now I know I can do it. With more practice, maybe the nervousness will go away altogether.

About the size issue: Have you tried shopping in the boys' section? I tend to drown in men's shirts, but fit in the boys' really well. It's always more awkward for me to shop in the boys' department, but since the fit is better, it's worth it. Maybe that'd work for you, too. Their fashion often mirrors adult fashion, so it (hopefully) shouldn't be too hard to find your style in smaller sizes.

Definitely go into the store with your chin up. You're you, you're shopping, and that's that. =)

[Guest Evan_J]

When I first came out to myself (little over 17 years ago now?) I had a lot of "discomforts " with mens clothes. The crotches on pants felt "odd". The waistband on dresspants was definately "odd". Remembering which direction shirts buttoned was a thing. And the fly on underwear? Odd. And I haven't even told you how I felt talkin to some sales dude a) I didn't know how the sizes worked b ) even if I did I had no idea what mine were. c ) I just knew he was lookin at me wonderin "what the hell is 'she' doin here?" and d) I wasn't always sure I looked how you were supposed to look once I had em on; I kept tryin to look at people who where around me to gauge how I was looking.

And if I remember all of that it must have been a very profound era

It is not just you.

First of all, relax. It's supposed to feel wierd a little bit . Its new. Not only have you not experienced this before, you have whatever number of years it is you've lived as your understanding and expection of clothing and its been clothing created exactly opposite to this for the most part. If you did not feel like you have to adjust what "normal" is something would be amiss in your abilities of perception. At the beginning of starting to dress, (as in in clothing of the sex of our gender) we see and know where we want to end up/what we're supposed to look like as the finshed product, but no one tells us how to navigate getting there. -Unless you just "happen" to know other experienced FtMs in rl. Until now. Cuz we have internet. And how to get there isn't just how to put it on and how the sizes work (though thats a part of it) its also knowing that its fine to feel odd, and you aren't the first, and you're not "less" trans cuz you think none of the other FtMs felt that. They did.

How do you get over it/ start working on not being scared? Just time And doing stuff over time. Don't push or rush anything you feel severely uncomfortable over. Just work it out over time and repeating things. Even small things like getting socks

And one day, in the future , you'll look back and say "wow" and all about how womens clothes felt you won't even remember and the men's clothes will feel "normal". And you'll walk through a womens department in a store and feel "odd"

[Guest Joe Cool]

I think the first few times you do anything new you feel uncomfortable. I think having an idea of what basic size you are before you go might help with some of the fear or anxiety. Guys pants go by waist size so you can measure your waist and know what size you are. At least then you can just look for your size on the rack an pick out styles you like. You can try stuff on at home and if they don't fit you can bring them back and return them. Maybe start with t shirts or sweatshirts for tops as opposed to dress shirts. It is also pretty socially acceptable for "girls" to wear guys t shirts and sweatshirts so it shouldn't be that out of sorts. Over time it will get easier and like Evan says, it will be weird to be in the woman's department. I feel out of place when I go shopping with my girlfriend.

Joe

[Guest androgynous]

Where I live I see females on the men section pretty much every time I went there. Many females buy clothes for their lover, believe it or not.

[Guest Valentine]

Hi

You could just say that your buying a gift for your brother and tell them he wears about the same size that you do (nobody is going to know or care).

That way you can ask to try them on.

Mens clothing is simple to size. Most pants go by waist size and leg length in inches. All shirts go by S, M, L, XL and so on, but with dress shirts will also go with neck size (in inches ).

Hope this helps

Jean Davis

Guys have been using the opposite line for years, the sales people have winked at it for years.

Measure your waist and hips, and pick pants that are sized for each and in between if necessary, then see which fit the best.

Remember that for the most part the salesman/woman will want to make the sale and won't care what sort of plumbing you have. (If the store is busy, you may want to ask when would be a good time to come in and shop.)

For clothes sized S,M,L etc take your woman's size and try a man's size one smaller.

Good luck and have fun shopping.

[Guest leo]

this happened to me and still does

i get proper embarassed and have to plick up courage to do it

and i find it even worse when im on my own

its an insurity thing, as i guess i dont believe i pass 100% but im gettin there

[Guest Colormyworld]

I've always been fine buying t-shirts from the men's department, that never bothered me and I didn't feel the slight bit 'odd' for doing so. A t-shirts, a t-shirt, I've been wearing men's/boy's t's since as long as I can remember! Maybe it's because it's always been normal for me, but don't let that intimidate you! I think it's generally accepted in society for women to wear men's t-shirts. Thinking back to the days of class t-shirts, the were all the same, they were all boys/mens.

The first time I bought men's jeans was at Walmart, so it seemed rather painless to me, I wasn't in some name brand place where the sale's associates were trying to help you all the time. I had no idea what my size was, so I had picked up some women's jeans in my size and took them with me to the men's department. I randomly picked up a pair that I liked and held them up to the women's jeans and took the pair that seemed to match the closest with me to the dressing room. All the jeans were folded neatly in my arms, and the lady by the fitting rooms just asked me how many items I had, That went easier than expected! Turned out one pair was the correct sizing, and I was on my way. I didn't feel confident enough to go to a cashier, so I just used the self checkout thing! Woo! Didn't even have to worry about the cashier giving me odd looks!

Another thing that might help, I've never done it though, is shop at a place that you NEVER shop at. Like a whole other mall or something. Knowing that you'll probably never see the sales associates or other shoppers again in your life might make you worry less about what they might think. Plan a shopping trip into your next road trip! (preferably in one of the states that doesn't charge taxes on clothing! haha)

[Guest Alison Mendez]

Working at a retail store, I can honestly tell you from an employees perspective that we really don't care. Women come in all the time and buy both gender clothing for themselves. Women wearing mens clothing isn't that taboo and never warrants a second glance. It's just so commonplace.

[Guest praisedbeherhooves]

Since I don't look beleivably male, I have a really hard time trying to buy 'guy' clothes.. I can't feel comfortable going into a mens shop and buying something. Anyone else had a similar problem, and how did you get over it? Guys and girls can respond.

Another thing is since I can't really walk into the changing rooms in a men's shop, I've got absolutely no idea what size I'd need, or even if it'd be possible to buy things that'd fit me at all since I even have a hard time finding women's clothes that fit (I'm not short or anything, just really skinny). I dunno.. Guess it doesn't help that I'm really self-conscious anyway, but even though I'm ok with dressing in womens stuff sometimes, I don't like to all the time. Ok I'm just going on about nothing now so I'll shut up and say that I probably just need some encouragement for me to be myself.

Just walk in. Unless you are dressed super girly or have huge breasts they will not think anything of it because people just assume that anyone going into the men's is genetically male. I'm super short and used to be ridiculously skinny. Skinny jeans tend to come in small sizes so you can try those.

[Guest Thorndrop]

Just walk in. Unless you are dressed super girly or have huge breasts they will not think anything of it because people just assume that anyone going into the men's is genetically male. I'm super short and used to be ridiculously skinny. Skinny jeans tend to come in small sizes so you can try those.

Thanks. It's pretty obvious that I don't dress super-girly ain't it? And I have a small chest so I can make it look completely flat without too much effort. I'm not short, but for a guy I'd be considered short (5'5") but ridiculously skinny? Yeah, that's me.

But I'm ok now. I've done it a few times and I'm slightly more ok with men's shops now and I've started to buy quite a bit of men's stuff for myself so I can wear it more often than my old women's clothes and I feel much more comfortable and it's so worth the bit of awkwardness.

[Guest jimmcartoo]

Thanks. It's pretty obvious that I don't dress super-girly ain't it? And I have a small chest so I can make it look completely flat without too much effort. I'm not short, but for a guy I'd be considered short (5'5") but ridiculously skinny?

You can wear boys dress, may you look as boy because you have a small chest.

[Guest Robin Winter]

Only slightly uncomfortable? You're a step ahead

I have the same issue, figuring out sizes and such, since I also can't bring myself to take womens clothing into the change room. Instead, I go online and find out how to convert sizes. Which I've only actually done for shoes so far. But yea, mens pants are sized in inches, so 34 X 32 for instance is 34 inch waist, 32 inch leg length. Just measure yourself before you go. Same can be done for dress shirts, though I can't recall all the measurements involved. I think if you measure your neck, you'll be well enough prepared, maybe your arms too. Underwear is easy, cuz they're stretchy I have a 32 inch waist, and I always went with small in mens, if that's any kind of indication, I dunno. That's kind of an individual choice I suppose, depending on types of undies and all that.

Shoes is easy, generally a size lower in mens shoes, so if you're a 9 womens, its likely 8 in mens, or close to it. Wikipedia has a sizing chart that might be more accurate, just line up the mens size with the same spot in the womens line and you have your comparison. I posted the link somewhere...was a thread about womens heel sizes, if I recall right.

As for the comfort thing, if you figure THAT out, you'll have to fill me in. Even though I'm likely to ignore it myself, I'm sure the best thing is just to walk in like you belong there, and don't worry about it.

Hope that helps

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

In many places you will see mens dress shirts with one or two numbers on them say 161/2 or 16/12 33 the first is neck size only and indicates a short sleeved shirt the other is neck size and arm length and would indicate a long sleeved dress shirt. Tshirts are in S,M,L etc as are some brands of shorts. With shirts try them on please because the one number you never get is chest size, you can get one that fits arm and neck but you either bust the buttons off or you swim in it.

Shilo to survive rle you are going to have to over come that fear of the change room, I do remember how it felt the first couple of time but now its old hat. I am getting so used to my sizes that I can just about grab stuff off the rack and know it will fit 22W in slacks and 2x in tops, skirts need to be min 1x with a 3/4 or longer length.

[Guest Mr.Yoav]

I have this fear that when I buy guy's underwear, my teacher or a group of kids I go to school with will walk in, see me holding a bunch of boxers, and wonder.

Now, there are perfectly logical things that I could say, but it's just the fear of buying underwear.... but you know, I feel the same way when we need to buy sports bras. Why is there a boy trying on bras?

It's all part of the package.

[Guest CJwar]

Yeah I get nervous too....I don't know why. I've always warn boy-ish clothes...the only girly stuff I have is stuff that people have given me as presents....but...

When I go shopping for clothes, I just kinda keep to myself. I don't really look around to see who's looking at me..cause just makes me more nervous. I kinda shop like I would if I was buying food or something...yeah that sounds weird...and boxers, well I've been buying those for about three years so now it's no big deal. But it is strange when a sale lady comes up to me and ask me if I need any help...hell sometimes I'm looking for stuff I can't find, but they've never treated me like I didn't belong there.

It's a new day an age...ultimately they want you to spend money...I get more looks from people when I don't buy anything, than when I buy my boy things.

[Guest Adrian]

No one's really looking, but if they are, pretend you're buying a present for a brother or cousin. That way, you can even ask about sizes...

If, like me, you don't know your size but can't try things on in the changing room, you'll either have to look elsewhere, do some research, or guesstimate.

[TassieTiff]

I have this fear that when I buy guy's underwear, my teacher or a group of kids I go to school with will walk in, see me holding a bunch of boxers, and wonder.

Now, there are perfectly logical things that I could say, but it's just the fear of buying underwear.... but you know, I feel the same way when we need to buy sports bras. Why is there a boy trying on bras?

It's all part of the package.

I Missed that Star trek Episode.....Worf in a Sports Bra..... Can't see it myself.... Would need to see the photos LOL

[Guest Gallium 67]

I get nervous shopping in either. If I go into the men's section any passing guy gives me a funny look. If I shop in the women's section the girls give me a strange look because I'm wearing men's clothes (I don't normally shop in the girls section if I can help it). It helps if I bring my sister with me. Helps calm my nerves some. I find it easier if I just avoid eye contact and pretend that I'm the only one there. lol. It's gotten better over the years. I managed to buy some men's dress clothes without feeling too self conscious. I can even look through men's underwear without feeling too out of place.

[Guest Lidian]

Don't worry i'm exactly the same. oddly enough i had no problem buying mens clothes when it was just for the purpose of a costume becaue i felt i had a 'valid' reason for wanting it..:S.

I used to work in a shop and i know the guys there aren't stupid they'll wonder and they may guess but they won't ever ask questions. At the end of the day if anyone makes you feel embarasssed (deliberatly) or bullied then you CAN complain.

Act like you don't NEED an excuse to buy the clothes, let them think what they like and if they ask questions make something up, or if you're feeling particularly brave act offended and tell them you ARE a guy XD then they'll be embarassed.

I find it helps to take someone (although that shopping trip with my mom was disaterous..^^;...trying to ninja your way in and out the mens section not easy..) that way you can talk to them, they shop assistant will leave you alone and if you go in to change together they assume you either don't realise its the mens room or you know what you're doing.

As for sizing mens is mind boggling simple...it's all in inches unlike this crappy 'size 12' rubbish girls have to deal with XD

measure the bit the trousers are gonna rest on (id measure the widest bit tbh..) and then by the closest size, going up if neccesary (remember belt!)

T-shirts..well i always buy large whether im planning on wearing it as a guy or not..i just prefer baggy clothes...but as a general rule of thumb you can hold it up to yourself and get a good idea..and once you've been wearing clothes a while you'll get a second nature as to what size you need. same with shirts, shirts and jumpers you can try on in the shop if you want, no need to go into a changing room at all ^^

underwear...is tricky...i mean i've been a girl for 19 years XD ive been buying bras since i was 12...and yet i still feel embarassed when i walk into a bra shop. it's gotten easier of course and now i make myself feel better by asking my dad what colour he thinks would look nice XD

The first time i bought mens underwear it was for a costume and i had a friend with me who was also buying boxers...it was so easy i didnt feel embarassed at all.

The thought of going back and having to do it again by myself...yeah still haven't got me new undies

it's a matter of confidence and at the end of the day you'll walk out the shop with your clothes, the staff may have a giggle when your gone but by the end of the day they'll have forgotten everything and the next time you go on they won't even remember you.

[Guest]

Since I don't look beleivably male, I have a really hard time trying to buy 'guy' clothes.. I can't feel comfortable going into a mens shop and buying something. Anyone else had a similar problem, and how did you get over it? Guys and girls can respond.

Christmas or fathers day is the perfect time as it could be a gift. If a guy goes to the women's section eyebrows get raised and people wonder. Women buy clothes for their husbands all the time. How are you dressed? Are you presenting male and being read that way? if you are don't be self-concious as probably no one will think twice about it. Usually it's the MTF's that get nervous in the women's section. Anyone can shop for men's clothes.

Here's a size chart http://www.lauras-playground.com/size_chart.htm

Laura

[Guest Anna_Banana]

I'm surprised someone feels uncomfortable shopping in the Men's department. People don't care who you are there. For whatever reason, it's acceptable to shop there. It's when you are a guy in the Ladies' department that people start saying things. So don't be scared! You've got it good.

.Anna

[Guest yvonne]

I've been a cross dresser all my life and have become reasonably comfortable buying women's clothes--generally for the wife, of course....

Since my awaking and self acceptance as a true female, I now wanted to get some clothes that not only fit, but were stylish and in good taste. I had to get help picking them out and had to try them on for fit.

So, I called a nice store ahead of time, asked for ladies wear and explained to the lady who answered that I was beginning my journey as a transgender, that I was under a Doctor's care (not true at that time) and I wasn't a pervert, I just wanted to do some shopping and get some help. I went on to say that I didn't want anyone to be uncomfortable and if they were, I'd just quietly call another store. Oh, and I'd also like to get fitted for my first bra.....

I was pleased to get an affirmative response. I arrived a few hours later and the woman even had a special dressing room set aside in a remote part of the store. We picked out some great outfits and I tried every one of them on. Perfect. She was professional, but not super enthused with the project.

She then took me to the bra fitting lady, who was really enthused about the project. She measured me and proceeded to bring me at least 20 bras to try on. It was great fun and I want to do it again. I bought 5 of them....3 that fit perfectly and 2 to "grow into" a little.

So, call ahead and tell them what's really going on. Both of them gave me their business cards and invited me back. Now I have a regular place to buy what I want and I'll never have to toss anything again because it just looked awful on me or didn't fit or didn't match anything I had.

I can't believe it was so easy.

Yvonne

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

If it is any consolation that fear and nervousness cuts both ways in our family. I used to be nervous as heck buying women's clothes, especially underwear. Over the time it has become as comfortable as buying men's wear used to be. Y'all want to laugh, now I hate going into the men's section. This is possibly because I have no need to and it reminds me of the 40+ years I spent in the wrong gender anyway.