New To The Life

[Guest Sakura_Stingray]

Hello, i have looked forever for people to help me in this subjct, most ignore me so i hope someone will help me here.

I am 20 years old, i have known i was different since i was a child, i keep it a secret from my mom, and yes i stll live with my mom, i plan on moving out within a year. anyway, i started out a few years ago buying clothing of the oposit sex and wear them when no one was around. and i have been for some time around the house only.....i wish to tell her i want to change...but i cant....i am her only child...i do not want the shock that i am not what she knew i would be to hurt her into loathing me....a few days ago i tryed looking for help online through websites when i came across this one, the next day she asked me "are you looking up transexuals or is it ____(her b/f) and i cracked....i was shocked that she knew because i backtrack and delete all i could....i quickly said "i dont know"......i fear that she has this suspition that i am gay......i have read some of the topics on this side and i have found that i relate more to the ransgenderist.....i do not want to hurt nyones feelings...but i also know it would be inevitable...how should i continue? and what would the estimated result be?

[Guest Madison_Always]

well sakura i think that if she suspects now it might not be quite a shock so maybe u should come clean so to speak and tell her

- melanie

[MaryEllen]

A transgenderist is one who wants to have characteristics of the opposite sex but does not want to have genital reconstructive surgery. Do you think that this describes the way you feel? You should be 100% certain before you proceed too far. You'll have to tell someone sooner or later if you wish to continue and you might as well start with your mother. Be aware there might be fireworks, though. Good luck.

MaryEllen

[Guest Sakura_Stingray]

i would....for the past five or so years she has made joking comments when i visit one of my friends like "want to borrow some condems" i would quickly leave the house and for the whole day be emberessed just because of her comment....she said once before "one day i will get to spoil your kids like my mother spiled you".....i dont want her to hate me if i told her the truth.....i dont know the right way to handle this since im her only child v.v

[MaryEllen]

Hello Sakura,

One thing about mothers, most of them anyway, is that they love their children. She might not like what you say or do but if she loves you now, she will still love you later. If she thinks you are gay, how did she react to that. Was she ok, not ok, indifferent????? If she seems ok with that thought she probably won't react too badly if you tell her you are transsexual..Good luck.

MaryEllen

[Guest Sakura_Stingray]

when she thought about it she said "your acting pretty weird...you dont like guys do you? i neve see you leave the house to visit any friends except once on the weekends" and when she said it she had this odd tone, and odd expression on her face.....another thing is her b/f has this sexual fantasy of trans.....im also afraid she would think i want to do it on that scale aswell.....their are so many factors goin through my head of how to aproach the situation....and they all meet to telling my mom.....but in which way...i have been thinking of which way for 3 years now.

P.S: i hate her b/f....he is mean and argusome and sometimes mentaly abusive to my mom...he isnot the kind of person you can trust deeply in my opinion...but he does keep a standard of keeping promisses of things to do