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Markie

Hi!

I have been lucky to realize that my demeanor and attitude go a long way in people reading my feminine side. I dress male at work except for my bra and panties. I find that both men and women treat me feminine, because of my demeanor. Women hug me when I am down and men will comment on how happy my work area is. I am friendly and supportive to all and I think this comes across as being feminine and matches my feelings. It’s like I’m out without  the wrapper. As I move along toward a fuller transition, I think that it might be easier having transitioned on the inside years ago. My Mom always told me to kill them with kindness. I love and miss her. 

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KayC
On 6/18/2020 at 9:29 PM, Markie said:

It’s like I’m out without  the wrapper.

Hi Markie.  I found your back story interesting and I like your point of view on being your feminine self regardless of how you present/dress.


I am not out yet, and haven't started HRT.  My wife is not supportive of me dressing in public and I am not in a work situation where I could do that anyway. 

But, the idea of a at least feeling like my true self inside is more important to me at this point. 
So, I take encouragement that you've been on HRT for 5 years and can live with not being fully Out yet.  I am starting therapy soon also.  Like you, I need to become One person rather than the "two spirits" I have been carrying for so long.

I wish you all the best, and hope to hear more on your journey in the future❣️

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Abi

I really enjoy reading the positive moments some of us get to have. It's just nice to know that we aren't all struggling to find support and acceptance for who we are. Thanks for sharing your happiness @Markie

 

@KayC I know that a non supportive spouse is very difficult in general. It is unfair to feel wrong, for who we are, just because someone else does not agree or believe in us. That just drives a wedge between two people that doesn't need to be there. My ex didn't support me at all, not in any way. If you have any support from yours, then at least you have something to build on. That something is worth fighting for but you need to be yourself or what is the point right? My ex abandoned me long before I said I wanted a divorce. I was so tired of being talked down to and controlled for someone else's desires yet, none of mine were ever a concern of theirs. My ex will never know how insulted and validated they made me feel when they posted on a major social forum that they just ended a fifteen year relationship with a lesbian. I didn't respond to that but, I certainly wanted to. In the end it just wasn't worth outing myself in a negative platform and I knew better than to go that route. Alone is better than abused. At least a little anyways. 

 

I'm really happy for both of you.   ~Abi~

 

 

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KayC
21 hours ago, Abi said:

If you have any support from yours, then at least you have something to build on. That something is worth fighting for but you need to be yourself or what is the point right?

Thank you, Abi.  You're right ... Its still early in the process for both of us, but she has confirmed she wants me to be happy.  Its just a matter if we can get there together or not.   But I am trying to use my experience with my wife to help to encourage others on this Forum to not give up easily.
I'm so sorry your relationship went the direction it did, but happy you feel better off in the end.  No one should ever be the object of abuse in a relationship.

Thank you for sharing❣️

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Markie

Hi Girls,

I'm saddened to hear about others having such a hard time. There always seems to be a river to cross to reach our goals. My wife was very much against transgender as a concept long ago. I think that she believed it was a perverted fetish. As there are more trans people in the news and on media, I think that she as many others started to see us as real people and not perverts. This new situation gave me the opportunities to act more feminine and gradually get my wife’s uneasy acceptance. I started by commenting on women’s clothes and accessories while looking past the women’s looks. I helped her pick out clothes (I have a much better eye). She started to see real value in my feminine side. This was slow and tedious with sometimes hard to accept pushback, but I felt patience was on my side. She still gets aggravated with my painted nails and longer hair. I realize it has to be a give and take. When it gets real hard to go so slow, I fem myself up a bit and go shopping. Light makeup, fluffed hair, rather androgynous but colorful tops and maybe a long necklace and small earrings. I let the Women I come in contact with be my saviors. Nine out of ten times, I get good feedback from them. “Cute earrings, love your top, nice necklace”, they always get a big smile and my most sincere ”thank you”. Girls, I’m no where near passable, but I’m sincere in my femininity. It’s a lot more than looks and clothes. Let others see your girl inside. You may even discover more about yourself and gain some accepting friends. 

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Tori M
1 hour ago, Markie said:

I let the Women I come in contact with be my saviors. Nine out of ten times, I get good feedback from them. “Cute earrings, love your top, nice necklace”, they always get a big smile and my most sincere ”thank you”.

 

I remember it took me a while to get used to this at first.  I am so very shy, so I was afraid of the attention and was fearful I was being mocked.  Then I finally came to understand the insecurity most all women carry around every day.  Women know this and know that even small compliments on our choices can help each other make it through the day.  Surprising to me how automatic it has become now for me to do the same thing.

 

1 hour ago, Markie said:

It’s a lot more than looks and clothes. Let others see your girl inside.

 

Great advice, Markie.

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KayC
10 hours ago, Markie said:

This new situation gave me the opportunities to act more feminine and gradually get my wife’s uneasy acceptance.

Thank you, Markie, for sharing this.  Its very encouraging to me and I hope others. 
Your methods for making step-by-step progress, even being "androgynous" and part time female as an alternate is one of the ideas I have been considering for the near term that both my wife and I can hopefully agree upon.

 

btw - do you shop androgynous styles online?  Would love to hear about your shopping preferences. (if you want to start a new post?  maybe others might want to discuss?  just please tag me so I know you posted 🙂)


Ready to let me "inside girl" shine❣️
 

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Tori M
1 hour ago, KayC said:

btw - do you shop androgynous styles online?  Would love to hear about your shopping preferences. (if you want to start a new post?  maybe others might want to discuss?  just please tag me so I know you posted

 

If you do, tag me too, please.

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ElizabethStar

Attitude and confidence seemed to be the two key things for me. I sort of accidentally forced the confidence on myself. I wasn't really thinking one morning when getting ready for work. I guess my inner girl had other plans that day. It wasn't until I got halfway to work that I realized between  clothes, hair and makeup (I was so comfortable) was going to work in full girl mode. Thankfully I work in a small office, it didn't bother anyone and no one asked. It was a big relief and a huge confidence booster.

I also found out having earbuds in, listening to music when I'm out has given me a little more bounce in my step and my movements are more dance-like. Passing has become easier. The less I stress the more I pass, the more I pass the less I stress and the better my attitude.

 

Of course this all helps me in public but not at home. My wife stated she would not got out in public with me dressed as a woman yet the other day we did, so maybe things are changing but I'm not holding my breath. I've been buying more and more woman's clothing. I find men's clothes don't fit right and are itchy. 

The marriage to my wife is just gonna do what its gonna do. She half expects me to go back to who I was. He doesn't exist anymore. He was just a protective coating that self destructed, nothing more.

 

Just waiting for the DMV to open for other stuff so I can finally update my marker,

 

Night everyone,

~Liz~

 

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Tori M

Welcome Elizabeth,

 

37 minutes ago, ElizabethStar said:

I also found out having earbuds in, listening to music when I'm out has given me a little more bounce in my step and my movements are more dance-like.

 

Good idea.  I'm going to have to try that.

 

38 minutes ago, ElizabethStar said:

I find men's clothes don't fit right and are itchy. 

 

I'm with ya.  I was so surprised the day I learned that women's cotton is not like men's cotton.

 

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KayC
8 hours ago, Tori M said:
8 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

I find men's clothes don't fit right and are itchy. 

 

I'm with ya.  I was so surprised the day I learned that women's cotton is not like men's cotton.

Yah!  what's up with that?  I never noticed it before until I bought some womens sleepwear (that new bamboo cotton fabric) and its heaven. 
I absolutely cannot sleep comfortably in men's PJs or shorts/t-shirts anymore.  Too scratchy, waist band too tight .. How did I do that all these years?

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Markie

Ok Girls, 

I think that everyone’s perspectives just enhances how I feel about myself. The feel of women’s clothes, the music while walking and the experiences us girls share, bring more feminine thoughts that I’ve buried in my psyche back out. Thank you so much for sharing. I feel like a little flower just beginning to bloom. Love ❤️ You ❤️ All❤️💋

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ElizabethStar

I got clocked and openly misgendered today. I had to take my wife to the hospital, she has ongoing health issues that require occasional visits. This time it turned out to be an overnight-er. I went home to get a few things for her nights stay. When I returned I had to got through the, now typical, Covid questions and temp check. Before I ever open my mouth or changed my mask one of the two woman behind the desk started calling me sir. And did it repeatedly. I feel I should have said something but I also had to show my ID. My wife had literally just gotten to her room so I wasn't on the visitor list. But she called me sir, like 6 times. I would have thought that somewhere between the strappy sandals, mini back pack, boobs, and purse she would have possibly just seen another woman. It just burnt me straight to my core to have this happen. I really want to call and complain but I'm scared of any back-lash.

 

Sorry for the rant. I just had to get it out.

 

💖~Liz~

 

 

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Astrid

@ElizabethStar Hugs for you, Liz.  Lots of hugs.  Absolutely, you're right to vent about an experience like that.  

 

Astrid

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Susan R
7 hours ago, ElizabethStar said:

Sorry for the rant. I just had to get it out.

 

💖~Liz~

Liz, I’m sorry this happened to you today. Some people are just very self involved and don’t notice the proper cues no matter how obvious they are to others. They don’t understand how much being correctly gendered means to us. Also, you can rant anytime you want. It’s a very therapeutic release and we all need to do it on occasion.

 

My Best,

Susan R🌷

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