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New And Confussed

Guest Confused

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Guest Confused

Hello all, I have been a confussed CD for many years. I am now married and before we have kids i would like to know that my CD will not turn into a TS. I have tried talking to a theripist and their answere was to take a 2week vacation alone enfem and have that be my deciding factor? This scares me since 1) I have never been out before, ( she said What if I would be passable). 2) what is two weeks going to tell me, I know as a CD that I like my current life but I would also like the enfem life? Lets just say since the last theripist visit my wife and I have been in great confussion.

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Guest Kiera

I applaud you for wanting to make sure of yourself before taking the next steps in adding to your responsibilities... ie having children. You have been seeing a therapist, who has apparantly, suggested a 2 week vacation/test en fem. You are struggling with this idea... I would suggest that you talk this over more with your therapist and explore the basis of your reluctance to commit yourself to this "vacation"... This may result in some interesting and telling insights.

If you are not TS, spending a "vacation alone enfem" will not make you turn into a TS, on the other side of this coin, if you are truly TS no matter what course of action you take, you will always be TS, and such a "vacation" may be just what you need to help clarify things to yourself.

Search your heart, keep a diary/journal, talk it over more with your therapist, do any and all of these things, You are already doing a great job of learning more about yourself!

Huggles and Loves!


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Guest Sally Stone

Dear Confused,

You are asking important questions. They are questions that need to be answered. I wish I could tell you that the answers you seek will come quickly. Often, they do not. Determining your place on the transgender spectrum could take some time to determine.

That said, I beleive the only way to know just what you are is to explore your feminine side. Therapy is always important but a more intimate understanding of where you are might come if you seek answers with "girls" like yourself. Many years ago I joined a support group. Hearing the views and experiences of those other girls really helped me along my path to self discovery. I explored crossdressing in earnest, and while I absolutely loved the feeling of being totally en femme, over time, I realized that I wasn't a man trapped in a woman's body. I wasn't transsexual. I also learned not to feel guilty or incomplete because I was "just" a crossdresser. I live a very fulfilling transgendered life as a crossdresser.

It is important to give your feelings time to settle as you explore. Make sure you don't mistake excitement for something more than it is. I have a friend who became so euphoric over her early public crossdressing experiences, she made the decision early on that she was trannsexual. After a year living as a woman, and only weeks before SRS, she realized her self evaluation had been incorrect. She was absolutely stunning as a woman and she integrated herself completely into society. In spite of all that, she recognized before it was too late, that she was a crossdresser and not transsexual.

So be patient. Take the time to explore your feelings completely. Evaluate yourself closely (and often) along your journey. Be honest with yourself and with your spouse. I wish you the very best and hope you get to know your inner self. I can't recommend a transgender support group highly enough.

Best wishes,


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Guest Confused

Thank you to you both, I have thought about what my theripist said and yes it would be exciting, I think it would be exciting as a CD at this time and not answer much questions right now. (Plus the whole passable thing and nerves about never being out before) The thing is that she was so persistant on the issue durring our last session that I felt like i was being pushed into something. I have sinced started looking for another theripist and found a couple that have delt with gender idenity before.

Thanks again

Still Confussed

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  • 2 months later...

In my opinion Sally gave you great advice. I joined a group (The Tvals) a few months ago and wished I had did it years ago. I have learned a lot about myself in the few months I have been a member.

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