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Personality Transition


Guest rachael1

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Guest rachael1

This is probably more relevant to the TG folk who have recently awoken from their slumber to their TG nature but it probably applies to others as well.

I have noticed that my female is slowly taking over my thought processes, my emotions, desires and feelings. This has gotten me wondering whether they have always been there, but suppressed by my other self and are now re-establishing themselves or they are newly developed and my brain is rewiring itself to comply with my new self image?

I think it might be a bit of both but predominantly they have always been there and now are making up for lost time.

Rachael

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Guest Charlene_Leona

I know that from an early age that I got allot of harassment by other kids because I was real feminine and I tried hard to suppress that part of myself. I did a fairly good job but always had a little break through.

Now since I came out and transitioned the female in me has really blossomed, thee is nothing male left except that useless birth defect. Since the testosterone has been excised from my system by the orchi the she in me has become absolutely dominant.

I don't think it's my brain being rewritten but just the opposite, my brain has always been female and now that I've stopped suppressing her she has come out of the dark recesses of my brain.

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I also got harassed all thru school, i never fit with the boys or the girls, and though i thought i repressed it pretty good throughout my life, it was only well after a year on hormones and i was living full time except for work i wondered why there were no bells, whistles, fireworks etc when i did so, the only conclusion i can come up with is the transition was almost seamless because my inner woman was always there to see but almost none did, most thought i was gay, there were a few friends i told that said they could see the inner woman in me.

Since coming out everyone and do not have to hide it anymore i have become an extrovert where as before i was introverted due to my secret.

Paula

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Guest ChloëC

I don't think we have come close to understanding the workings of our brains. How some things happen, thoughts get stored, lost, found again, how we respond to things, all that.

Isn't there a study or two that suggests that some TG people have slightly different brain activity or size or chemicals or whatever than others of their sex? Maybe we're just tapping into that in ways not understood.

Picked on? Yes, not as much as others as I learned quickly how to 'assimilate'. My high point was Freshman PE class (there were 500 boys in the whole class which meant about 125-150 in my hour). We were divided quickly into 3 groups on ability (push-ups, pull-ups, running). I exerted like crazy to make the middle group. Not the athletic stars, but not those who were less co-ordinated or able. Just average. Amazing and a little sad, that that is a high point, but it dramatically reduced any kind of taunting for which I was forever thankful.

I often have an urge for chocolate (Ice Cream, candy), but I suspect if I let myself totally indulge, I'll get sick of it and ignore it. By limiting myself, each time is a real treat. I guess I'm a little nervous if this would be true of my desires.

Though, sometimes, I do want to try and find out.

Chloë

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Guest Robin Winter

I've always been feminine, but I would say it's starting to come out more, yes. I think hearing from my GT that I "meet all the criteria" has a lot to do with it. I was really afraid that they would send me away cuz they weren't convinced I was a woman, for whatever reason, but now that I heard it directly from him, and know that I'm getting all my referrals, I'm more at ease and don't hide it (as much).

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Guest rachael1
Picked on? Yes, not as much as others as I learned quickly how to 'assimilate'. My high point was Freshman PE class (there were 500 boys in the whole class which meant about 125-150 in my hour). We were divided quickly into 3 groups on ability (push-ups, pull-ups, running). I exerted like crazy to make the middle group. Not the athletic stars, but not those who were less co-ordinated or able. Just average. Amazing and a little sad, that that is a high point, but it dramatically reduced any kind of taunting for which I was forever thankful.

Chloë

I learned to assimilate very early on in life and hid my true self from the world in order to fit in. I was so good at it that I eventually even convinced myself that it was only a phase and I had grown out of it. I never really fit in with groups and was most comfortable with just one or two friends, I think that my life was stunted in a lot of ways because I buried my true self so deep that I wouldn't even allow my emotions to come to the surface.

When I awoke all these emotions and feelings came rushing back and Rachael has slowly reasserted herself. I think they have always been there but are now finally free from their captivity. I think that if I were to transition then my true nature would assert itself very quickly like Charlene.

Rachael

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Guest brenda lee
This is probably more relevant to the TG folk who have recently awoken from their slumber to their TG nature but it probably applies to others as well.

I have noticed that my female is slowly taking over my thought processes, my emotions, desires and feelings. This has gotten me wondering whether they have always been there, but suppressed by my other self and are now re-establishing themselves or they are newly developed and my brain is rewiring itself to comply with my new self image?

I think it might be a bit of both but predominantly they have always been there and now are making up for lost time.

Rachael

Rachel , sweetie, I too have noticed that my true gender is starting to come out. I wonder why I made it wait so long. As I look back ,I remember as a child looking in catalogs at clothes and wondering how I would look in a certain dress. At times I would be shopping with my mom in a womens clothing store and the clerks would comment how patient I was for a boy in there.When puberty started ,I had a hard time accepting I was a boy ,instead of dreaming about being a girl. I wa never interested in the usual boy things , being friends with girls and playing with dolls was more fun. Even playing dress up beat cars any day.As a teenager wanting to wea r makeup and dresses was more appealing .I have always cried very easy at movies .Acting fem has always been easier for me. My final memory is when playing with boys , and someone had to be a girl ,I always volunteered. It just felt more natural. LOL Brenda Lee

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Guest Robin Winter

I'm actually starting to worry a bit about this. I'm beginning to forget myself at work and worried people (namely my employers) will start getting suspicious. Sometimes I catch myself and start trying to act extra manly to try and backpedal, which makes me feel foolish. Blah. <_<

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Guest Joanna Phipps

For me the take over of my female thought processes seemed natural, it is part of building the new self. For me I think the patterns were always there but got dummied down by the T in my system; as the spiro has killed the T and E has taken over it was the likely and obvious thing to have happen. It sure feels good, never could stand the gossip or girly mags before but now I cant resist them in the checkout line

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Guest erikka2046
I learned to assimilate very early on in life and hid my true self from the world in order to fit in. I was so good at it that I eventually even convinced myself that it was only a phase and I had grown out of it. I never really fit in with groups and was most comfortable with just one or two friends, I think that my life was stunted in a lot of ways because I buried my true self so deep that I wouldn't even allow my emotions to come to the surface.

When I awoke all these emotions and feelings came rushing back and Rachael has slowly reasserted herself. I think they have always been there but are now finally free from their captivity. I think that if I were to transition then my true nature would assert itself very quickly like Charlene.

Rachael

Rachael,

My feeling is a bit similar to you. Have been living as a male for so many years nearly convinced me I am one. However, there is always a kind of feeling deep down inside telling me something is wrong, no matter I achieve more, doing a lot more variety of stuff but still no change. And this felling is getting stonger day by day....

There were lot of things bothering me very much for so many years I really don't understand. Like I never get along with men, never able to understand men stuff and their liking. So much emotions coming out from no where from time to time. Get along and understand girls very well, actually I feel much happy and comfort with girls company. Like so much girly stuff, people ask me why, but I can only tell them I just like girl stuff and I really don't know why. Many times I questioned myself why my brain think like that? I suppose to think that way i.e. male way but actually the other way round. Its just like a natural born instinct... like I walk in store to get a pair of sneakers, the favorite one I pick its always a women's style. This really drive me crazy and make me like living in hell.

Eventually, I woke up a few months ago and everything make perfect sense and falling into place. I am a female and always be, its like the brain is hardwired like that since my day one on earth. I accept who am I, feel much comfortable and will transit to be the real me :)

Erikka

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Guest Donna Jean

It all changed!

Attitude, feelings, cares, wants, needs........

Everything.....my personality DID change....we always talk about how our "core" person remains and that's true...

But, having to playact a male all of these years took it's toll on me and made me different from what I really am....

I'm a good person deep inside...loving, compassionate, caring....and I never was able to show that as a "male"

Now it's come to the top and the male facade has peeled away like an onion skin....

And I love it...being able to cry.....so many things that I can selflessly enjoy anymore...

My wife has told me that she likes me better than "him"....well, dang....so do I......

HUGGS! (I like that, too, now!)

Donna Jean

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Guest Donna Jean
This is turning into a very emotional thread! I love it!!

Y'all got me smiling and choked up *sniffs*

*Big Hugs*

Shi

Shi........

That's because it goes right to the essence of who we are....our personality....

That, in itself, makes it emotionsl.....

Huggs

Donna Jean

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Guest Joanna Phipps

Its good to be me, I dont wanna be him... after years of slumber, hiding and pretending; finally to be who I should have been all along. The peace, contentment and happiness just that thought brings, no more of the uncontrolled and uncontrollable anger, no more lashing out at all around me, no more depression and no more supposed ADD...

Just a happy and content woman of the world

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Guest N. Jane

That was redoubtably the biggest surprise to me when I transitioned at age 24 (a LONG time ago). I had lived part of my teens en femme so "transition" was easy - it just meant I didn't have to go back. But the BIG surprise was how much had been suppressed and how much I blossomed in the first year. I was WAY more, as a person, than I had ever dreamed possible. I realized I had no idea what I could become until I spread my wings.

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Guest Robin Winter
Shi........

That's because it goes right to the essence of who we are....our personality....

That, in itself, makes it emotionsl.....

Huggs

Donna Jean

Yep yep, it gets me right here *hands over heart* ^_^

That was redoubtably the biggest surprise to me when I transitioned at age 24 (a LONG time ago). I had lived part of my teens en femme so "transition" was easy - it just meant I didn't have to go back. But the BIG surprise was how much had been suppressed and how much I blossomed in the first year. I was WAY more, as a person, than I had ever dreamed possible. I realized I had no idea what I could become until I spread my wings.

I'm beginning to feel the same way. I knew I would begin to be more comfortable, and open up more, but now I'm discovering new parts of myself I didn't even know where there. Some days, I almost feel like I really AM flying, it's so much of a rush. I know I still have a long way to go though, and that in itself is very exciting!

Joanna, I'm so very pleased for you, and I hope everyone here can reach this point in their Journey. It's so nice to see someone find happiness. If only EVERYONE could make the effort and do a little soul searching, maybe they could all find their own small piece of happiness, and make the whole world better.

*Much Hugs*

Shi

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Guest AshleyRF

Being me has been far far easier than trying to put on that show for everyone else ever was. I never felt awkward at all once I started my transition to the real me. It just kinda happened as a steady flow and before I knew it, I was living full time. I actually didn't even realize I was living full time at first. It didn't hit me till about 2 or 3 weeks after that I was. Now, I've all but totally forgotten that I was ever anything but how I am now.

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Being me has been far far easier than trying to put on that show for everyone else ever was. I never felt awkward at all once I started my transition to the real me. It just kinda happened as a steady flow and before I knew it, I was living full time. I actually didn't even realize I was living full time at first. It didn't hit me till about 2 or 3 weeks after that I was. Now, I've all but totally forgotten that I was ever anything but how I am now.

That is how it worked with me also Ash.

I count August fifth 07,because I felt I had to have a day to mark is all.I actually started when

I finally came home after a long time of being there for somebody in real need.I walked in

my door on October the eleventh of 06,and shed the bindings I had been wanting to for so

many years.And haven't looked back once.I found it much easier being who I am,than to maintain

the facade of someone I was gladly leaving behind .

Angie

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I was informed about my personality transition by a very smart and dear friend who has been absent from the forums lately.

I was on hold waiting for a doctor's appointment to start my hormones and I posted that I couldn't wait to start transitioning.

He posted a response of , 'Darlin', you transitioned when you admitted to yourself that you were a woman, read your posts they weren't written by a man."

You become who you were meant to be when you accept yourself as that person all of the hormones, hair removal, make up, clothing and surgeries are all just window dressing for others.

When you say to yourself, " I am a woman" - you are from that day forward, the transition has begun and the majority accomplished.

Love ya,

Sally

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We have a dichotomy of masculine and feminine characteristics. I believe that my feminine traits were ready to bust out when I found out that I was trans. It was a matter when they would be expressed.

Gennee

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A new us?

No. A rediscovery of us?

Yes!!

Wonder no more and accept your self(yes).

It ain't easy,,but once you've been there

you can't,you won't, turn back.

Give yourself a hug boys and girls and

thanks Rachel for starting this thread.

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Guest Natalie92

I've noticed that since I've "woken up from my slumber to my TG nature" I've felt myself become much more feminine too. It definately seems like my brain's being re-wired, but maybe it was just that I assimilated too well into society's view of how I should be. All I know is that I love it.

Natalie

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Guest ~Brenda~

Rachael hon,

I tried to wake up many times throughout my life, and when I finally did wake up... BAM!! There I was and no going back this time!!. More and more femme everyday!!!

Love it!!!

HUGS

Brenda

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest Anna_Banana

I used to be very female when I was young. Years of conditioning from my evil peers, parents, and other adults have "programmed" to behave like a boy. This has brought me much pain and confusion. Why was I conditioned this way? Because I wasn't acting like the model male everyone wants you to be. It's going to be a long undoing process for me. Many of you were probably conditioned in a similar fashion. No one realizes how much this hurts a person.

.Anna

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  • 2 months later...
Guest DisDwarf

Im a biological male. Had repressed my feminine inner self. It got out at 28yrs old in an intense crisis during the last 6 months. I could feel "her" taking over parts of my brain LOL. It was scary, but it felt good. The process still works in the background...

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