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Is Your Therapist Qualified?


Carolyn Marie

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We all tend to believe that if someone hangs a sign over their door saying "Doctor Whatever" they must be qualified, right?  Not necessarily. There have been disgruntled members here who were anything but satisfied with their therapist. Some were rude, some unfamiliar with TG issues, some just unqualified.

How can you avoid similar problems? You need to ask questions and when in doubt, ask for documentation.

 

I know, you think its not cool to ask, or the therapist won't like you or won't take you as a client.  If they said or did that, you don't want them as your therapist. You have the right to know they're qualified. After all, you're paying them hard earned cash, plus your future is at stake. So how do you go about it? Here are several tips:

 

1. Check out the list of gender therapists on this site. Use this link. http://www.lauras-playground.com/gender_therapists.htm  To get on Laura's list, the therapist has to certify that they follow the WPATH Standards of Care, and have some special training in gender issues, but you still should follow the other guidelines I suggest below.

 

2 Once you locate a therapist, ask them some basic questions before you make your first appointment. Ask them where they got their degree, what kind of degree is it? What kind of training or education did they receive to allow them to consider themselves a gender therapist? How many TG patients have they treated over what period of time? If you are FtM, Androgynous, or have other less common gender issues, ask if they have experience with those kind of clients. If you plan on transitioning or think it may be in your future, ask if they

have seen clients who have successfully transitioned. Ask what professional associations they belong to.

 

3. Don't be afraid to ask about fees. Do they take insurance, what kinds? Do they charge different fees to insurance companies than they do for cash clients. Do they have a sliding scale for clients who cannot afford the standard fee? Is there an option for being seen less often?

 

4. When you get to their office, and you are still not sure about their qualifications, ask to see their diploma. You have the right to check with their college or university to make sure the diploma is legitimate.

 

5. If they are not a gender specialist, ask what they know about TG issues or how they would go about obtaining the necessary information. Ask if they are comfortable seeing a TG client, or if they are not comfortable with the idea of transition, if that is your goal. Ask them if they know of the WPATH SOC and

can follow it.

 

6. Last, but maybe the most important, ask around about a particular therapist, or for a good therapist in your town. Post a question in this forum.  If anyone has had experience with that G.T., I'm sure they will be happy to respond.

 

This may not be an exhaustive list. If I've left something out, please add to it. I hope this is helpful. Good luck!

 

Carolyn Marie

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Guest Joanna Phipps

This is ok and is good if you are in an area where you have choices. In some of the smaller centers you may have to be content with one of two things:

  • a long drive to a gender therapist
  • working with a regular therapist who is willing to learn on the job

My therapist falls into the second category and is doing a wonderful job of helping me. She has done her homework, knows the issues, and is compassioate enough to help with all of it. Id not trade her for all of the tea in China, I think the lesson here is just because you dont have access to a 'qualified' GT dont think that a regular therapist cant help you, of course all of the normal caveats apply.

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Guest Donna Jean
This is ok and is good if you are in an area where you have choices. In some of the smaller centers you may have to be content with one of two things:

  • a long drive to a gender therapist
  • working with a regular therapist who is willing to learn on the job

And don't discount that there are reputable "Online" therapists which is a viable option for those in the boonies or have conflicts with work or just aren't good at face-to-face!

Very good stuff, Carolyn...that is a very helpful post....Thanks, Honey!

Huggs!

Donna Jean

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Very Good Topic!

Covered very well and something that our members searching for a therapist should keep in mind.

It is not rude to ask questions about qualifications - you are hiring someone to help you - they have to pass the job interview.

You don't get insulted when a prospective employer ask to know about your qualifications, neither will they.

Remember they will be working for you to help you so if they don't know or care about your issues - do not hire them.

Those who are interested and willing to learn along the way can be very good but the key is how willing are they - it is a lot of work.

A good therapist quite often becomes a best friend - I wish that I could just go visit mine every couple of days or so just to sit around and chat over a nice cup of tea.

Love ya,

Sally

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This info is just in time. I'm waiting for a call back from the therapist, and I was so nervous cause I didn't know what to say or I didn't know what to ask. But these questions give me some really good structure and framing, so that way I don't rush into someone that's not going to help me the way I need.

Good stuff.

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My therapist is not a GT but he works in an office with 6 other therapists, 3 of which are GT who follow the SOC and have helped a large number transition, He asked me early on if i wanted to switch to one of the other 3 that are GT and i said i trust him and do not really want to switch, so we agreed to learn together, the 3 that are GT help him when he has questions and so far my transition has gone really good. He is also part of the gender team i will need to go before when it comes time to get the letters for srs. The best thing is talking to him is like talking to an old friend not a gatekeeper.

Paula

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Guest ChloëC

I really like all the posts so far. Only problem I see is that the general forum this is under is a little specialized. I hope that more than just ts people glance in here, because I think this can be an issue that affects a much wider community. This has been one of the concerns I have living in a relatively small town about seeing a therapist. Do they have the experience to understand what I'm saying.

I went in to see a doctor a few years ago regarding a physical problem and after jumping all over a totally unrelated problem that wasn't a problem, he finally got around to asking me to explain the symptoms and then disappeared for about 10 minutes and returned to basically reiterate to me what I had already discovered on the internet. I was not amused, because it was not help. The MRI was no help, and he finally gave up, while I am still experiencing the symptoms even at this moment.

Chloë

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I just got my first call back from a therapist, and thanks to your questions and structure I was able to actually speak instead of stammer and studdered over what I wanted to ask.

Because of all the questions, she actually referred me to what she considers "experts" on the subject, and still offered that if they didn't work out she would try her best to help me out. Cool right? Honesty is the greatest thing ever.

I'm sure I've said this like 500 times, but thanks Carolyn Marie you're the best.

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  • Admin
I just got my first call back from a therapist, and thanks to your questions and structure I was able to actually speak instead of stammer and studdered over what I wanted to ask.

Because of all the questions, she actually referred me to what she considers "experts" on the subject, and still offered that if they didn't work out she would try her best to help me out. Cool right? Honesty is the greatest thing ever.

I'm sure I've said this like 500 times, but thanks Carolyn Marie you're the best.

You're most welcome, CJ. I'm glad it helped. :)

I hope it turns out well. Keep us posted, OK?

Carolyn Marie

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  • 1 year later...
Guest Lacey Lynne

Awesome thread, hon. Awesome advice too.

Though I completed my sessions with my Gender Therapist nearly a year ago, I love my therapist. Browse around her website and see what a renowned practioner is all about. She has a nationwide reputation as a specialist in transgendered counseling and research. I was VERY lucky to find her.

http://www.tgtherapist.com/index.htm

Dr. Farrell will be retiring from active practice in 4 months, having turned her practice over to a transman who is an excellent counselor himself, and she will becoming to the Great Pacific Northwest in semi-retirement to do research on things transgendered and to enjoy her life. She's The Bomb.

May you find a good gender therapist yourself if you are seeking one. They are out there. The people in the posts above told you all you need to know to find a good one.

Good luck to you! ;) Lacey

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  • 4 months later...
Guest AlexForever

A good cue on wheter the therapist that treats you is a decent one is hirs respect of your chosen pronouns. If hir refuses to do so, then you'd better walk away ASAP.

This might seem a no-brainer...but not all therapist unfortunately know much of LGBT issues, expecially trangender issues, sometimes even the "specialized" ones.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest StacyBeaumont

My therapist is awesome and she is a W-PATH member and she would like to have her information posted in the resourcces section of the site. How does she get her information on the site?

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  • Root Admin

The best way would be for her to contact Laura via email at [email protected] . We can always use another GT on board.

MaryEllen

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  • 6 months later...
Guest Kael147

Hey all,

You know u've never thought to ask about my gt's qualifications. She is the only psychologist who works with trans identified people in my province. She does the assessments for the clinic that is funded by the government, so I just assumed. I don't suppose it matters since she is one of the gatekeepers to having srs paid for by the province. I guess I'll ask her next Friday when I do my gid assessment.

Thanks for the food for thought!

Kael

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Guest Amanda Whyte

The therapist I am hoping to see is on your list so that makes me happy. I have found another practice that says they work with gender issues. Is there a way I can ask them if they help people with gender issues, or try to "fix" them and lock them in their current sex? I dont mean I want a therapist who is not going to make sure I am doing the right thing, just dont want a therapist that only tryies to make the person stay the way they are. I had a general men's therapist that when I started discussing this just kept working on getting me to stop thinking that way and to read the Bible and pray. It was because my dad was a cross country trucker and never home and I was raised by my mom and sister. I stopped going to him but that stopped me for a couple of years now. It is hard to jump from one counselor to another.

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  • Admin

Amanda, if you are considering paying someone for their professional services, you are entitled to ask them any of the questions I suggested in this thread, or any other questions you want to ask. If they give you a hard time about it, then I would consider going elsewhere if I were you.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

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  • 6 months later...
Guest Chrissy6455

I did alot of research in finding my GT tbh, I think I found a good one. GT is all she does, and she was even on Dr Phil a few times supposidly so we will see ....

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  • 4 years later...

Some very good info in this thread!

I hope to add to it soon.  My situation is not 100% unique, but it is a little rare.  I am an American, living in Germany.  My German-language speaking/understanding is nowhere near 100%.  I can carry on a conversation, but there are often awkward misunderstandings and difficulties.  Not something I would want to work through in something as delicate and nuanced as my personal feelings on my Gender Dysphoria :)

So, I NEED a therapist that speaks English, but is available to me in my area of Germany.  There are several in the larger cities...  Berlin especially, Frankfurt, Munich, even Hamburg.  The closest of those places is three hours away.  I work full-time, so that would be very problematic.

It seems online therapy may be the ONLY way for me.  Thanks to Jani, I have found a couple of possible choices.  I have my first appointment next week.  I've e-mailed her a few times, to express my concerns, and state what I am looking for in therapy.  She is NOT particularly experienced in TG issues, but is well-trained and experienced overall, and is willing to help.  I've checked her qualifications and reputation, and she seems 100% legit.

For obvious reasons, I am a little paranoid.  I don't want to go to a therapist and have them try to "cure" my GD, or negate my feelings, I want them to help me treat it.  If I get that feeling (that she is not pointing me in the direction I want to go), I'll seek another therapist.  I'm purposefully NOT mentioning names.  When I have some actual EXPERIENCE with her, I'll relay them on this forum.

Even though I've not actually "spoken" to her yet, there is already a cautious sense of relief...  I'm taking the plunge.  I've made my decision.   It's "cautious", because I'm still apprehensive.  I don't want this initial meeting to go badly.  I've never said ANY of these things that I am about to say to ANYONE.  I don't know what her reaction will be.  I don't want to screw it up!

 

Steffi

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  • 7 months later...

I had to add something here. I'd been seeing a therapist for several years but knew she was not be the one I wanted to explore gender issues with. I just had this feeling that I couldn't be open and honest with her with such delicate personal info. So I found someone new who turned out to be excellent. A warm, non-judgemental clinician who played an active role in our sessions and steered me along. THEN I began wondering if I should seek out a gender therapist, but realized I didn't want to go through the whole process again with someone new. It was too hard the first time. And my current therapist can give me a referral for HRT if/when I need it anyway. I've been fortunate.

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  • 1 month later...
  • Admin
2 hours ago, Jennifer W said:

How many sessions are usually needed for an hrt referral?

 

Jennifer, I know this is a cliche', but it depends on the therapist.  Some will provide a letter in 1-2 sessions, some more.  HRT for many physicians is now a matter of "informed consent" and won't ask for a letter at all.  Many therapists have doctors that they work with regularly.  You can ask your therapist what they need for HRT and they should be able to tell you.

 

Carolyn Marie

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  • Admin

In the 9 years since this thread was first pinned up here, the "gate keeping" function of therapists has seen significant change for the better.  Even in this short a time, people coming to the Gender Therapists whom I know in person, come with more information about themselves, and less fear of what is going on in their personal lives, also a better understanding of what life will be like if, when, and what they will do.  Some therapists I know have even seen a need for "Post Surgical Depression" therapy, since there has been some growth in that condition, which in some cases is just a "garden variety" of stress related depression from issues that existed before the GD Monster attacked the person and took their mind off of those stressors for a period.  A year ago at this time, I was personally experiencing that type of depression and my HMO was able to find a Therapist for me that knew of my general problem area, and who accepted me as I was and did not need to re-explore my Gender issues.  That to me is some wonderful progress.,

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  • 1 year later...

It really depends on a lot of circumstances how long you have to see a therapist prior to getting HRT.  I started with estrogen about a month prior to seeing a therapist, but I am a medical professional.  I discussed it with my internist, and we came to the conclusion to go ahead with it.  It was way harder to find an endocrinologist who knew what to do with transgender people.  Most of them can deal with diabetes and similar conditions, but have no clue what is required for a trans person.  For the time being, I was basically self prescribing, by telling my internist what I need for my transition.

I am now a patient of a specialist for transgender issues, and found out that i was exactly correct with my dosing!

 

But psychologists knowing about transgender stuff are as hard to find.  I was first with one who knew less than I did about trans things.

 

I got my knowledge by reading through forums like this and through literature (I am pretty good with surgery stuff, but not with trans things), and one should expect that those, who claim to be specialist in all trans related subjects, would do the same due diligence I did, and educate themselves on the subject!.

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"Many thanks, babe." "No problem, Big Guy." "Hey, I wanted to talk to you about exercise.  Karate in particular."  He pronounced it ka-ra-tay. "I am a second Dan black belt and there is a certain obligation there to teach other people." "Kara-tay? I don't know." "A friend of mine runs a dojo here and needs my help. He talked to me already.  Tuesday and Thursday night and Saturday mornings." "Oh.  So you will be there then." She looked disappointed. "I'm hoping you will be there." "Sounds dangerous.  But I could use the exercise." "And self-defense would be good. It might help." "It might. Huh.  Saturday morning?" "8 AM I need to be there. Classes run until noon. I don't need to be there the whole time." "Is there an intro class or anything?" "Yes. 10 to 11." "How about if I try that."  She was not very enthusiastic.  Punches and kicks and stuff.   Saturday morning they arrived together.  She wanted to watch the Green Belt class that met then just to see what she was in for. Sensei Mark came to the front of the room, before the big American and Japanese flags. Between them was a picture.  "I am honored to introduce to you Sensei Bob.  He is a second Dan black belt.  He has actually beaten me in tournaments.  I have known him through tournaments.  You will listen to him as you listen to me.   Sensei Bob, take the class. The two sensei bowed to each other.  Sensei Bob pointed out that Sensei Mark had beaten him, as well. Taylor was sort of standing against the back wall, scrunched up, a mouse in her crisp new beltless gi.  Her t-shirt was off white underneath it and she was hoping no one would notice. "I am Sensei Mark. You are Taylor." "Yes, sensei!" she stood at attention and shouted it. He laughed.  "This is not Cobra Kai and we are not in a Karate Kind movie.  You do that here only between bows.  Bob tells me you are a complete beginner." "That is an understatement." "Here, let me fix your gi."  She had it on a little incorrectly.  She drew back. "What's the matter?" "I am pretty touchy." "Okay.  Untie the straps in front and tie them the other way, like mine." "I don't have a belt." "There. That is right. You will get a belt after three months and passing tests on kata, kumite and karate knowledge." "I don't know what that is." "And we touch a lot here.  Not romantically. You see how Sensei Bob is going around and adjusting people's stances and arm locations." "Yes, I see that." No enthusiasm. "You are Sensei Bob's girl, right?" "Yes.  What is important to him is important to me, so here I am."  He wished her well and told her to go see Margie, who handled registration at the little table. "Hi, I heard about you." Margie began. "What does that mean?" "It means we treat everyone here with respect.  That was the wrong way to start." "I'll say. Try again." "Good morning. How can I help you?" "I want to register for the beginner class." "You are Taylor, right?" "Right." "Sensei Bob paid for your lesson today." He would. She gave name, address, age, height, weight, and they came to gender. Margie asked it twice. "Put down female." "The only other choice is male." "Then that is it." "Earlier I was thinking about tournaments, which are big here. The rules are that boys fight boys and girls fight girls - there are Men's and Women's Divisions.  I know you look like a woman, but they go by the birth certificate." This was awkward.  Really awkward.  Down at the other end of the room they were moving in unison when Bob said HAI!, turning, punching, kicking, etc. "I don't plan to go to tournaments.  One step at a time, shall we?" "Okay.  And I meant it when I said respect.  We bow to each other.  You will see. As a sign of honoring other people." Margie bowed slightly, sitting down.  Taylor returned the bow and smiled. The class moved into sparring, breaking into twos and practicing moves against each other.  Bob was moving among the pairs, adjusting positions of hands, hips, feet.  Taylor was unsure about someone touching her like that, her hips particularly.    The green belt class ended as new students came in for the beginners' class. Down at the other end the brown belt class began.  The room was large enough you could do two classes at the same time.   The other beginners, nervous, lined up at Margie's table.  People got into gis, the men in their big area and only woman in the little restroom that was for them.   Sensei Mark greeted them and showed them where to stand: on the little x's on the floor. He explained the School Code.  They would recite it at the beginning of class and they needed to memorize it for the white belt test, at which time they would, of course, receive a white belt. He explained some terms.    They warmed up with some basic, easy stretches.   They learned a kata called Taikyoku Shodan, involving blocks, punches and some movements. This was not bad.   She was now paired off with Judy.  Things were going well and this was not too bad. Judy was sixty years old and had been told to exercise by her doctor.  Taylor said her boyfriend was teaching the other class, which was impressive, and he wanted her involved.   "You remember the gedan barai - downward block?"  They did. Everyone showed him and he went around and made sure everyone had it down. "And the lunge punch?"  They did. "Now we are going to put them together. One of you will punch and the other block it. Okay?"   Taylor squared off against Judy.  Her heart was pounding.  She practiced her gedan barai as Judy practiced her lower lunge punch.  Then they faced each other. "Okay, first partner, lunge punch.  Second partner, lower block.  Slowly.  Go!" Taylor saw the punch coming at her, but instead of blocking it her eyes welled up with tears and she dropped to the floor, weeping uncontrollably. "Oh God, Oh, God, Oh God, make it stop, make it stop" she shouted to parties unseen. Fetal position, rocking back and forth. Crying hysterically. "I didn't go near her," Judy said, bewildered. "Taylor?"  this was Sensei Bob.  Both classes had stopped and were looking at her. She kept crying. "I am here, "Bob told her, not touching.  "Oh Bob you need a wife who can be a real woman to you. I am making you into a monk or something." And she continued crying at full volume. "You need someone better than me, someone who can give you kids." Everyone could hear this.  They were turning away, trying to pretend they could not hear this. "I need to get her out of here and take her." Bob said, and he and Mark bowed to each other. He scooped her up and she bawled into his shoulder.  She clung to him.  First hug ever. Death grip, more like it. "Judy, would you get her things?" "I did nothing," Judy said, and moved towards the restroom, stunned.  "Nothing." "I know what she was wearing," Margie said, and got them. "I've got a gym bag. It 's red and it says Roosters on it. Can you get it? Mark got it.  He accompanied them to the car.  Taylor was non-stop crying deeply, clinging to him for dear life. Mark unlocked the car and together they managed to pry Taylor off of him, even though it took both of them to do it.  She was in the car seat and they managed to buckle her in it. "I am going to take you to your apartment," he said. "No. Emergency room," she said. "Maybe the psych ward."  He didn't doubt it. She calmed down in a few minutes on the way. "Well, that was embarrassing." "Everyone remembers their first day of karate class." "Bob, what I love about you is your sense of humor." "I love everything about you." "Even this?" "Yes. Even this." She managed to walk into the ER.  They were both still in gis. "Karate accident?" "No. I am Taylor and I am a nut. I wear a gi all the time. I make my boyfriend wear one, too." "She had a triggered event.  She's had some difficult times." "I see. Do you you know are bleeding?" "No."  Her crotch was wet with blood and the blood was seeping down both legs. She was wheeled away. "Sir, please wait here." He did.  He had no legal right to see her right now. After a while a nurse came out and said he could come on  back. There she was in a hospital gown.  "Seems like old times." "yeah.  We gotta stop meeting like this." The nurse buzzed around and left them. "They are running tests." "I bet they are." "I got an MRI. On a Saturday morning, too."  First ever. "You rate.  But why?" "They figure some of the old scar tissue - you know, from the- from the past - ripped open and they need to see what is going on." "We know what is going on,"said a doctor, stepping in. He looked at her. "I am Doctor Michaels.  They called me in.  I just happened to be in the building and they wanted me to see this and take the case.  My specialty is Disorders of Sexual Development. But what I am seeing is little in the way of disorder.  Look at this." They looked at the image. "This is a perfectly ordinary uterus." "Uterus?" "Yes, your uterus." "What?" "That is not all.  This is a cervix, and this is a vagina." "It's blocked up." "Yes.  It looks like you had surgery to do exactly that when you were an infant.  They used to do that." "This is me?" "You." "Really?" "I imagine this takes some getting used to. "Can it be undone?" "Absolutely. I mean, I cannot guarantee it, but it is more than likely. I would like to run some tests." "And the bleeding?" "It looks like the hormones you have been taking have kicked of a regular monthly cycle. Then you did a whole bunch of exercise.  Not surprising." "What?" "I want you to come to my office next week for follow-up.  Have you ever had a genetic test of any sort?" "No." "Well, your testes - one looks at first glance more like an ovary." "Ovary. Can I have kids?" "Too soon to tell.  You look happy." She did.  "Bob, you look stunned." "I am." "Given what happened earlier today we want to keep you overnight for observation.  I understand you are a trauma victim and something triggered it." "I got a punch thrown at me in kara-tay class, is all. I am a wimp." "Well, I will let you two talk for a minute and they will come and get you shortly.  No bad news here." "They are coming to take me away, hah-hah, they are coming to take me away," Taylor chanted. "Bob, I am not done with kara-tay.  I want to at least finish a first class. I mean, you paid for it and I want you to get your money's worth." "I think I got that." "Kiss me, you fool,"  she said, and he did, with energy.        
    • April Marie
      These arrived in yesterday's mail. I'm out working in the yard today so just old clothes. I'm looking forward to wearing this t-shirt dress when the weather warms up a bit more.  
    • missyjo
      Ashley I've known busty girls who wore b nice bras tl work n such then like a sift sports bra to lounge or sleep in hugs
    • missyjo
      your nails b hair came wonderful  congratulations  enjoy
    • Willow
      The one thing about this position, if you want more hours just wait and be flexible.  I’m now working until 7:30 pm instead of 4:30.  
    • Ashley0616
      I hope your head cold goes away soon! Sorry you have to cut grass with that.   Love the new t-shirt   I love that one.    What Jeep would you want to get? That is awesome about your wife getting better!
    • Ashley0616
      Welcome Mattie! I would recommend the first step is finding a gender therapist and see if you are or aren't. Then one of the biggest steps if you are do you want to start hormone replacement therapy. The decision should be thought long and hard. There are irreversible effects. Looking forward to your next post! Take care!
    • Ashley0616
      Congratulations on being able to pick up a cancellation! I hope to hear more updates about your transition. 
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