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Guest Lynnx

No-ho/no-op Forum

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Guest Joanna Phipps
c) lastly but not least, my orientation is lesbian, but lots of lesbians are transphobic, so I've much higher chances of finding a soulmate as a male rather than as a trans woman.

I identify as Lesbian and on one board Im on my acceptance has been quite good. I have made no bones about who and what I am, they just treat me like one of the girls and we have a blast with the discussions. I havent met anyone RL yet since I live in an area where I think I am the LGBT community.

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Guest DisDwarf
But as for (B), don't they freeze sperm all the time?

yeah this is an option, but I prefer it "au naturel":) and I don't want to be dependent on other people for my reproductive capabilities... but who knows maybe my "gender dysphoria" (what's a less medicalized term for that?) will outpower my family planning strategies... will see.

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Guest darlene lynn

HI

I'M 53 yrs old raised male, I knew I was in the wrong skin as early as 4 yrs old. I'll never take hormons or have srs. I've thought long and hard about it though. I've been out to my spouse and children,also to my siblings since 1993. I am a blended gender person, I was forced to behave as a male till I left home, although I crossdressed since I was 4 yrs old. I'd swipe clothes from my sisters. My mother would go thru my closets when ever my sisters would complain they couldn't find somthing. But I dont think after all these years I could live anybetter as an full female than I do as an male. I crossdress every day. I'm proud to be no-ho/no-op.

Love

Darlene Lynnette

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Guest ricka

Well i would identify as no ho/no op at this time (keeping my options open though in the future). I know this will sound strange but I am more passable as my preferred gender (female) than my cis-gender. It helps I'm sure that aside from having small (and still shrinking) male genitalia, I have naturally large (c-cup) female breasts and my body shape is decidedly female. My mannerisms are decidedly feminine too, so in male mode I present as an effeminate male. So besides having a female brain I seem to have an abundance of natural female hormones. Sure there are things I would like to change physically but they are somewhat overshadowed by my decidedly female physical characteristics, at least in my mind. Gender dysphoria for me sprang from trying to be male much of my adult life and not being who I am. The thing that really gives me pause about HRT and having an orchiectomy is losing my libido. I am a hetero female and don't seem to have a problem attracting men, usually bi, but men who self-identify as straight as well.

Ricka

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Guest Lynnx
HI

I'M 53 yrs old raised male, I knew I was in the wrong skin as early as 4 yrs old. I'll never take hormons or have srs. I've thought long and hard about it though. I've been out to my spouse and children,also to my siblings since 1993. I am a blended gender person, I was forced to behave as a male till I left home, although I crossdressed since I was 4 yrs old. I'd swipe clothes from my sisters. My mother would go thru my closets when ever my sisters would complain they couldn't find somthing. But I dont think after all these years I could live anybetter as an full female than I do as an male. I crossdress every day. I'm proud to be no-ho/no-op.

Love

Darlene Lynnette

And have you found acceptance from your spouse and children? It seems like you have. If you have, i'm glad.

I really think that acceptance mitigates dysphoria. I mean if everyone everywhere excepted your gender and included you in the gender of your choice, how much dysphoria would we really have? I can speak for myself in saying that if everone excepted me, the only thing i would really miss is something to pleasure my spouse with.

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Guest Lynnx
Well i would identify as no ho/no op at this time (keeping my options open though in the future). I know this will sound strange but I am more passable as my preferred gender (female) than my cis-gender. It helps I'm sure that aside from having small (and still shrinking) male genitalia, I have naturally large (c-cup) female breasts and my body shape is decidedly female. My mannerisms are decidedly feminine too, so in male mode I present as an effeminate male. So besides having a female brain I seem to have an abundance of natural female hormones. Sure there are things I would like to change physically but they are somewhat overshadowed by my decidedly female physical characteristics, at least in my mind. Gender dysphoria for me sprang from trying to be male much of my adult life and not being who I am. The thing that really gives me pause about HRT and having an orchiectomy is losing my libido. I am a hetero female and don't seem to have a problem attracting men, usually bi, but men who self-identify as straight as well.

Ricka

I'm glad you pass well; that really helps with acceptance of other people.

I would be scared to loose my libido too. I'm really too familiar with losing it; i had a stroke once that knock it down to zero for a whole year. It was hell.

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Guest Debs

Wow, I just came across these forums. I think this covers me too. I know what's involved in the whole SRS procedure. I know what the hormones can do (good AND bad), and I know what the surgery entails and some of the possible complications. My inner view is that I'm just me, neither male nor female. Overall I am not that bothered about how my body looks that I'd want to go through the surgery. I would have chosen to be a girl, but that isn't something we can do. If I was a woman I'd want to be a mum. That isn't possible as a TS.

I do pass pretty well, being female sized. I'm quite an effeminate, even feminine male out of my femme clothes, but I kind of like that, and I'm currently trying to push the boundaries to appear more androgynous (far more of a taboo than females looking androgynous!). There is only so much you can do in that regardd though without overtly wearing female clothes and makeup LOL

It is nice to know I'm not alone as someone who feels more than just a crossdresser in terms of gender identity, but doesn't want to actually go to the extent of major (and potentially life-threatening) treatment. Saying that, I wouldn't rule out hormones totally. I'd love real boobs and a curvy figure, but there's quite a lot I like about being a guy right now. I think transitioning would make my current life WAY more complicated than it really needs to be

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Guest Ryles_D
And have you found acceptance from your spouse and children? It seems like you have. If you have, i'm glad.

I really think that acceptance mitigates dysphoria. I mean if everyone everywhere excepted your gender and included you in the gender of your choice, how much dysphoria would we really have? I can speak for myself in saying that if everone excepted me, the only thing i would really miss is something to pleasure my spouse with.

There are two general categories of dysphoria I've seen- social and bodily. Social dysphoria would be basically eradicated by being accepted, but bodily dysphoria isn't really effected by that at all. I don't know if most people have more of one than the other or what the statistics are, but some people have next to no social dysphoria (I know a girl who would happily live as a man so long as she could physically be a woman) and others have next to no bodily dysphoria (Happy living in a "woman"'s body so long as you're accepted as a man)

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Guest nymphblossom

Thank you for starting this thread, Lynnx!

I have wanted to post since I first saw it several weeks ago, but waffled over whether I was the kind of person the thread was actually aimed at. I have been frustrated time and time again, by my therapist and other transsexuals, over not fitting their stereotype. I need to present as my female self in public. It affirms who I am and breathes life into me. But I will not hurt the ones I love or give up the life I spent nearly 50 years building to become the woman I am inside. I had no choice but to begin hormones. Not because I want their feminizing effects, but to control my gender dysphoria, the malaise that was slowly sucking the life out of me. I cannot be content as my male self. But I will not relinquish it for a new life as the woman I am inside and I am not convinced I would be better off if I did. Life is a compromise and I believe I am a two soul in the truest sense of the word. Not male, not female. Two soul. My female self has simply been denied so long that the pendulum finally had to swing to find the balance.

Blossom

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Guest nymphblossom

Ryles_D wrote:

There are two general categories of dysphoria I've seen- social and bodily.

This is the first I have heard of this distinction. I find it extremely profound, and introspectively, it sheds a new light on my gender dysphoria. I have an androgynous physique, am waiting for the results of my DNA test to see if I am intersexed, and have no trouble passing as female in public. I suspect my need to be accepted as a woman by other people puts me squarely in the socially dysphoric camp, but in reality, I’m sure we all struggle with both to varying degrees.

On a slightly higher level, doesn’t it really come down to finding a way to express our inner gender that makes us comfortable? I’m thinking it is possible that body dysphoria might sometimes be a manifestation of a deeper underlying social dysphoria? And the reverse might also be true?

Blossom

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Guest Ryles_D
On a slightly higher level, doesn’t it really come down to finding a way to express our inner gender that makes us comfortable? I’m thinking it is possible that body dysphoria might sometimes be a manifestation of a deeper underlying social dysphoria? And the reverse might also be true?

I think they can definitely play up on each other. If you have social dysphoria and your body makes it impossible to pass, you could end up feeling bodily dysphoria as a result of your need to pass socially. If you have bodily dysphoria, being misgendered socially can remind you of that body and make it so that you feel dysphoric socially as well. Kind of like a yin yang- the seed of one is in the other. I also think that most people have a mix of the two, although I could be wrong.

I definitely would like to live in a world where you don't have to transition medically to be seen as who you are. That's the way it should be, it seems kind of BS that you aren't accepted as who you are without surgery. I haven't seen a good reason why a biological male couldn't be legally female- it would make jail a problem and you'd have to explain it to your doctor, but that's true of being intersexed as well and we don't (or shouldn't) force them to transition to one or the other medically.

But I don't think that would eliminate medical transitioning because there are people who, even if they pass 100% of the time, still feel dysphoric about their body and would still need to transition.

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Guest Lynnx
I definitely would like to live in a world where you don't have to transition medically to be seen as who you are. That's the way it should be, it seems kind of BS that you aren't accepted as who you are without surgery. I haven't seen a good reason why a biological male couldn't be legally female- it would make jail a problem and you'd have to explain it to your doctor, but that's true of being intersexed as well and we don't (or shouldn't) force them to transition to one or the other medically.

But I don't think that would eliminate medical transitioning because there are people who, even if they pass 100% of the time, still feel dysphoric about their body and would still need to transition.

Think of the ancestral american indian cultures who had male people living as female people and vice versa. It was socially accepted. There was no such thing as medical transiton back then. Of course there are no stats on it, but i would bet anything that there were far less suicides because it was socially accepted. I'm just saying! it's not a cure for dysphoria, but it certainly mitigates.

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Guest AndrewH

I am a bisexual man in a woman's body who is living as a woman but is honest about my true gender with those who are close to me (family members and friends) I have also posted about it in public forums so if people search me online they could easily find out.

I did go on hormones to stop my period at one point and the results were life threatenning

I have many reasons to choose to live my life like this and since I am accepted and can be honest with those around me I think I can do it.

I am usually fine with my decision though I do have some difficult moments.

.. and I have to say sometimes I do enjoy dressing girly but it feels like crossdressing.

So... yeah, here is one more no-ho/no-op person.

It is really nice to know there are others out there.

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Guest CrimsonEdge

I don't really want bottom surgery for a few reasons:

1) Whether it's real or not, having something between my legs will be annoying, and untidy.

2) If I get sub-standard stuff with a lot of scars, there's no point doing it.

3) I want a shaft just to be able to pee while standing but that's possible through other means too.

I'm only 16 right now so I have PLENTY of time to make up my mind...

I'd love to be shot of the reproductive organs though...

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Guest Lynnx
.. and I have to say sometimes I do enjoy dressing girly but it feels like crossdressing.

Yeah, i used to do that do, and it felt like crossdressing, but it was kinda fun. It was more about sex than anything.

I am not currently doing that anymore though because noone else knew i was crossdressing; they thought i was a real woman. Bleah.

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Guest Bayn

Hey, I see that no one has posted here in a while but I'm new here and I was very happy to find this forum.

I identify as a transmasculine guy. Not quite transsexual because while I do identify with most traits associated with males, and feel more masculine than feminine, I don't identify wholly as male. So, I'm not exactly a man, just kind of a "guy". (Okay, that probably makes no sense to most people but trust me, for me, there's a difference.)

Anyway, I am a no-ho, no-op transgender person.

I would love to have top surgery (a DD chest is hard to hide) but it's just not feasible for me, for both financial and medical reasons. I don't really desire bottom surgery. Hormones aren't really a good option for me either for the previously mentioned reasons. And really, as far as hormones go, I don't desire the effects enough to suffer the inconveniences.

So, basically, I am just dealing with what I have. It helps immensely that my wife is supportive and understanding of my identity. She uses words I am comfortable with to describe or compliment me. She doesn't touch me in uncomfortable, feminizing ways. She loves and accepts me the way I am, though she also lets me know that she would support any decision I make to alter my body.

I can't say I will never have surgery or use hormones but for now, I am trying to make peace with my body the way it is. I don't think it will ever feel like the body I should have but I can do small things (like piercings, tattoos, haircuts, etc) to make it a little more Mine.

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Guest Evan_J

<<Never knew this topic existed.

And while it may not apply to me, I think it is EXTREMELY important that those people both already on and that will be in future have SOME means of quickly finding one another . To that end , this topic is now pinned.

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Guest praisedbeherhooves

I'm non-ho but I am pre-op. I don't want testosterone but I do want my breasts removed and a hysterectomy. After the hysterectomy I'll have to take estrogen though, ironically. I want my body to look androgynous. I identify mostly as a male, but I prefer an androgynous appearance.

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Guest Roux

I'm non-ho but I am pre-op. I don't want testosterone but I do want my breasts removed and a hysterectomy. After the hysterectomy I'll have to take estrogen though, ironically. I want my body to look androgynous. I identify mostly as a male, but I prefer an androgynous appearance.

This sums me up perfectly. Well, almost. I wish I were an A-cup instead of a B-cup, so that I still had a little something on the chest, but it'd also be much easier to bind when I don't want to see it. (Which is, I'll admit, more often than not.)

But I don't seriously plan on having any surgeries or taking any hormones. I'd get the hysterectomy if I had the money lying around, but . . . *Shrugs.*

I'm glad this thread was pinned. It's nice to know I'm not the only one out there.

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Guest Melisiris

I hate my boobs, a small A would be more suitable than a double D on this very short and slender body. But only if they cause back-pains...which i have not, reducing them will be covered by insurance......not affordable so it will not happen...

T wil not work for this body anyway, the outcomes are for me not acceptable, i will still look like a little boy with an old head or an abomination of some sort. Not that that I am overtly male in my behaviour, I despise a lot of male behaviours. But yes in the past i have been trying to be one of the guys at which i failed miserably. Drinking with the big boys, getting into fights and such, they only took advantage of me though.

I am not sure what caused my hatred against my body; could it be the bad experiences i had as a teenager involving involuntary sexual acts?

Objectively it is quite a pretty body, a bit too pretty because it attracted the wrong people.I was never a girly-girl, after 12 years of people calling me little boy i turned into an attractive feminine teenager, i never got used to that. I never had the will to reproduce, i have nothing with babies, no motherly feelings whatsoever.

and i can live without having the downstairs male thingie, they are not very aestheticly pleasing to me anyway...I would like to have a lower voice though...

As one can read, I am still a bit confused..

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Guest Slim

I'm no ho no op but that's partly because I'm scared to fully transition.

My family is already up in arms about my buying boys clothes for myself, so I flip flop between genders.

I don't absolutely hate being a girl, I enjoy it sometimes, I just spend a lot more time as a boy.

Since I'm okay as either, I'm going no ho no op.

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Guest DixiePixie

It's really reassuring to see so many no-ho/non-op people here - that's what I was worried about for years, as if it would make me somehow less "male" or less "trans" - how wrong I was! I'm increasingly okay in my body, I really don't think I would have testosterone at any point because I could already pass as a feminine male if I really worked at it! or particularly if I had top surgery, which I might someday just to feel a little more at ease.

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Guest shyheather

Ilike this forum I don't need ho op to be happy with who i am kind of half and half anyway b on top male on bottom a dress both sexs as i want don't really think about it just do what feels good to me with out hurting anyone

heather

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Guest jumpzinc

I'm trying to be happy without transitioning, but at times I find it very difficult. Money, relationships and the fact that I don't think that I would pass very well keep me from thinking about hormones or surgery. Because I know it isn't even an option, I try not to think about it. I wonder how I would think if those factors were different?

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Guest Nebulous

Count me in too, I don't feel that I need hormones/surgery to pass or to be happy. Though I know the future is still a vast, open space. In the meantime I'm doing everything possible to be comfortable in myself and it's working out fine. Though I will say that if my body wasn't how it is, I think things would be different. Good to see other people feel the same :)

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